Ladies Help !

scorp

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2012
Posts
191
Media
0
Likes
29
Points
53
Location
Kissimmee, Central, Florida
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I no longer have a sexual desire for my wife. We have only been married for "one month", the lack of sexual desire actually started about 6 months before we got married. I think it every mans dream to have their, "women a little on the trashy side". (sexually) She is religious, and has a nursing background. She craves sex, but she does nothing to arouse me. I offered to take her shopping for an outfit we both could have fun in the bedroom, but she declined my offer. I try different things, I wear sexy undies for her, massage her, give her breakfast in bed every morning. I feel bad I can not have sex with her, but it just the same blah every day. Any suggestions as to how I can have her spark a little interest and engage my brain to get an erection for her ?????? PLEASE HELP.....:069: I offer you ladies suggestions when I think I can help, now I need help....Any questions please ask..
 

Tight_N_Juicy

Mythical Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 14, 2012
Posts
18,265
Media
138
Likes
63,580
Points
508
Location
U.S.A.
Verification
View
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Female
I'm confused. You lost interest 6 MONTHS BEFORE you even got married?? I'm not trying to be disrespectful but you probably waited too long to confront this situation. She is who she is, and if it's been THAT long and she's still the same sexually now as she was when you married her it's probably just who she really is. Personally this is why I don't believe in abstinence before marriage. I feel like people should know how sexual their partner is and actually get to KNOW their needs before deciding to spend the rest of your life with them. No one is 100% compatible but there are a few basic things you kinda need to be similar in to make a relationship work, and sex is almost always at/near the top of that list in a marriage. Basically (and I say this honestly and mean no disrespect, just giving my sincere answer) I think you got married before you knew what you were getting into. I hope you can work things out, but it sounds to me like she's just being who she truly is, and who she truly is doesn't seem to be able to satisfy your sexual needs. I wish I had actual ADVICE to give, but I'm just stumped. Best of luck to you and your wife.
 

MickeyLee

Mythical Member
Staff
Moderator
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Posts
33,705
Media
7
Likes
49,842
Points
618
Location
neverhood
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
*blink* why didn't you real with ya "she-don't-float-my-penis-boat" issue before you got married?
 

scorp

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2012
Posts
191
Media
0
Likes
29
Points
53
Location
Kissimmee, Central, Florida
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Ego, she tells me to wake her up anytime of the night or day if I want it. Well she never makes me want it... She loved it when we did it, we had to put towels on the bed, it was soaked when we got done. another thing it never feels as though I am completely in her vagina. I can't feel any warmth or juice around my shaft just around the head of my cock. Without that great feeling of me being deep inside her I go limp rather quickly. Thanks EGO......
 

Jillang

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2010
Posts
584
Media
0
Likes
18
Points
53
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Female
You aren't attracted to her? And you can't maintain an erection? Maybe if you could maintain an erection she would be more sexual towards you and you would be more attracted to her. You should talk to a doctor about ED medication. I'm just guessing but maybe that's the problem.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

Mythical Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 14, 2012
Posts
18,265
Media
138
Likes
63,580
Points
508
Location
U.S.A.
Verification
View
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Female
Ego, she tells me to wake her up anytime of the night or day if I want it. Well she never makes me want it... She loved it when we did it, we had to put towels on the bed, it was soaked when we got done. another thing it never feels as though I am completely in her vagina. I can't feel any warmth or juice around my shaft just around the head of my cock. Without that great feeling of me being deep inside her I go limp rather quickly. Thanks EGO......

Like I said before, no disrespect but I just feel like you 2 are not sexually compatible. Sorry.
 

scorp

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2012
Posts
191
Media
0
Likes
29
Points
53
Location
Kissimmee, Central, Florida
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
You gals are being a big help.. Thanks so much. I am not blaming her. But I do need some help to get my fire burning. She is beautiful, she has a pair of legs and thighs, I can not get enough of. But it seems it is taking more than just that to get and hold a good erection. Thanks again any more comments are welcome.. I do appreciate your time to help me..
 

AlteredEgo

Mythical Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2006
Posts
19,176
Media
37
Likes
26,249
Points
368
Location
Hello (Sud-Ouest, Burkina Faso)
Sexuality
No Response
Ego, she tells me to wake her up anytime of the night or day if I want it. Well she never makes me want it... She loved it when we did it, we had to put towels on the bed, it was soaked when we got done. another thing it never feels as though I am completely in her vagina. I can't feel any warmth or juice around my shaft just around the head of my cock. Without that great feeling of me being deep inside her I go limp rather quickly. Thanks EGO......

Do you know what kind of views sh has about gender roles in a relationship? If I had to hazard a guess, I would say she believes a woman's presence is arousing enough, and that it is your job, as a man, to find ways to bring her up to your presumed level of arousal. Obviously, if that is how she thinks, she is mistaken. Of course you need to be wooed.

If I'm on the right track, and probably even if I'm not, the only cure is communication. And it won't be easy or fun. How are you supposed to make he understand that she isn't arousing you without hurting her feelings, if in her paradigm her mere existence is supposed to be irresistible to you? I certainly don't know.

Maybe the whole dialogue doesn't have to take place all at once. Maybe you could ask her some questions about what makes her look forward with eager anticipation to a lovemaking session. Maybe her answer will give you insight, or at least an opportunity to discuss what makes you eager.

Maybe you just hit her over the head with it. I once had a lover I wasn't too sure about. He was twice my age, had started pursuing me before I broke off my engagement, and had a girlfriend. I was into him, but I felt guilty. I made him do all the work. He had to call me, he had to invite me out, he had to make it physical. I was never proactive in our relationship. I was always passive. One day he just blurted out that he wasn't even sure I liked him, or if I just liked presents and rides in his car. He said I never ever made he first move with him. I told him I hated his car, but I loved him, and I would try to show it more. His outburst resolved the problem. I even told him about my guilt. He explained that he was never going to be faithful to a woman ever again because of some emotional baggage we'd discussed previously. If not me, then someone else, and at least I wasn't interested in hurting his girlfriend, or him. His outburst had opened up freer communication between us.

The last advice I can think of is this. It doesn't matter what my husband does, I'm just not interested in fucking him anymore. At all. I know why, I just don't know what to do about it, and I'm not motivated to figure out what to do about it long-term right now. I keep trying to get him to go fuck someone else and leave me out of it. It's that bad right now. But I don't know how to talk to him about my feelings. The last thing I want is to hurt him. So, as a temporary solution, until I feel safe talking about it, until I feel safe trying to resolve it, I have found a way to trick myself. When I can tell he wants to have sex, I go primp like I have a date. I imagine someone specific who I do want to fuck, and get myself ready for that man. When I approach my husband, I imagine I'm leading him to a threesome with that dude. During sex, I pretend the three of us are playing, and I stay very focused on my fantasy. This way, I don't have to face my problem until I'm ready, and my husband isn't getting hurt nor neglected. It is NOT a sustainable solution. I need to get my shit together and solve the real problem. But in the interim...

Anyway, I hope I have been at least a little helpful. Hopefully I'm not so dysfunctional that I can't help at all. Good luck either way.
 

AlteredEgo

Mythical Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2006
Posts
19,176
Media
37
Likes
26,249
Points
368
Location
Hello (Sud-Ouest, Burkina Faso)
Sexuality
No Response
... Why does she have to arouse you? ...
They need to arouse each other. And he is a part of each other. Do you seriously think all you have to do is show up and men just want to fuck you? That's kinda silly, no? Do men just show up and you want to fuck them, or are there things your partners have done that awakened your lust and made you responsive? I'm betting on the latter.
 

EllieP

Worshipped Member
Gold
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Posts
9,923
Media
4
Likes
22,052
Points
318
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I think you felt a sense of duty to marry her - after all you had a lot of time already invested. If that's the case, then you married for the wrong reason. There is no single reason to marry someone. If you marry for looks they will fade. If you marry for money then nothing will make you happy. If you marry for sex then when the dry spell does hit, and it will, then you'll be left with nothing.

You need to satisfy many reasons, and if an important one is lacking then there's trouble ahead.

The only thing you can do is talk, and I highly recommend counseling. I don't think you will be surprised to learn the problem is primarily yours. But she must know of it so you two can work together on a solution. And be prepared that the solution might be dissolution.