Ladies I wrote this for my girl for when I'm gone on a trip.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_yabbadabbadont, Mar 13, 2011.

  1. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    Guys
    I've written this for my girl and was thinking of sending it to her when I am away on a business trip. If your man sent you this what would you think?
    I really hope you like this.

    Got bored on the plane so I thought I'd write you a little erotica. My sweet. *

    Part 1
    *
    We Check into a nice hotel downtown. We meet in the bar as strangers. You tell me we have all night and morning. *
    We relax have a few drinks all the time checking each other out, taking dirty getting things getting hotter and hotter.*
    After an hour we can't wait any longer.*
    We head up to the room. In the elevator we have our first kiss, it's amazing all that sexual energy released all at once, it's take everything we have not to rip our clothes off right there in the elevator.*
    We get to the room I lead you over to the bed, come up behind you wrap my arms around you and gently start to kiss your neck. I slide my hand up under your blouse and cup you perfect breast pinching your nipple softly. I grab your hip with my other hand pulling you back into my now rock hard cock. You moan in anticipation.*
    Slowly I undress you till your standing there gloriosly naked for my eager eyes to take in.*
    I push you gently down on the bed, take my shirt off, you stare at the huge bulge in my jeans. I smile knowingly and lay you down telling you to close your eyes.*
    You bite your lip not knowing what to expect next.*
    With my fingertips I proceed to touch you all over your beautiful body purposely staying away from the place(s) you want me to touch you the most.*
    I kiss you full on the mouth continuing to explore your body with my fingers.*
    You legs open expectantly. I put my hand on your knee and ever so slowly slide it down the inside of your thigh. I move my mouth to your nipple sucking it flicking it with my tongue, nibbling it with my teeth. While your focusing on what my wet tongue is doing I slide my finger over your clit between your lips and easily into your now dripping wet pussy. You gasp and raise your hips up to meet my hand. *
    I slip a second finger in and start to massage your G spot while doing that I slowly kiss my way down your body. I start fingering you harder now hovering my mouth over your clit. Gently I blow on it causing you to sigh.
    I remove my fingers and in one loong motion i lick your pussy from your bottom all the way to your clit. I suck your clit into my mouth gently sucking on it. After several minutes of my tongue swirling around your clit I can feel you getting ready to cum. I tell you too relax, I push my fingers into your tight pussy feeling the muscles clamp around my knuckles. Your pussy twitches when my tongue flits across your clit. You tell me your cumming I grind my face hard into your pussy as you arch your body and explode over my face.*
    I rub your body gently as you recover from your orgasm loving your quiet moans. *
    After a moment you open your gorgeus eyes and *tell me you want my big fat cock ;) * **
    I stand up and sit you on the edge of the bed. Slowly i take off my pants. I'm so hard now it almost hurts. My cock springs free and you grab my cock with both hands loving how thick it is. *You tease the head with the tip of your tongue and then slowly take as much of it in your mouth as possible I tell you how amazing it feels as you start to stroke me whilst sucking hard on my head. *I grab your hair and hold your head still while I slowly start to gently fuck your mouth. It looks amazing watching that big cock disappearing down your throat. After a while I*pull away kneel down between your legs and kiss you hard on the mouth.*

    Part 2

    Now I can tell you are ready. I move on top of you holding myself up so I can watch your face while I enter you. Slowly I fuck you with *only the head of my cock using the ridge to stimulate the opening.*
    I reach around with right hand and grab your ass. Gently I slide my finger a little way into your ass, I feel you tense. I tell you to breath. When I feel you relax I slowly push my cock ALL the way in and grind my pelvic bone against your clit. You gasp!! I hold this position gently rocking up and down on my toes grinding you clit hard. I feel you tense up and cum again hard on my cock. Before you can recover I flip you over onto your knees push your face down on the bed and drive my cock balls deep in one powerful thrust. You cry out in pain and pleasure. I start to pound you hard with long fast strokes. *You tell me to fuck you harder so I grab your hair pull your head back whisper nasty things in your ear as I continue to fuck from behind soon I tell you I'm cumming, you grab my ass and pull me all the way in and then you feel my cock twitch hard as I cum deep inside you.*
    We lie back smiling in a wonderful glow. You lie on my chest I put my cock in your hand it starts to get hard again, I look into your eyes and we both smile .........** *You like?
     
  2. Boondocksaints

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC
    I think the idea of it is good and would be enjoyable for your gf, but it is geared more toward what turns YOU on. It is from a male perspective. This story vividly describes physical actions that give the reader a visual picture. That kind of imagery turns guys on more typically than women. It is like a porn. While this also turns women on, I feel it could be improved if you delve more into the psychological aspects of how turned on you are by each other... how you can't wait to tear each other's clothes off. Delve more into the feelings, thoughts and passion you are having. Use teasing also. Women are more turned on the the psychological than men. That is why romance novels is like porn to many women.
     
  3. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    You are dead right Boon it is from my perspective. But that said wouldn't it also turn a women on experiecing it from our perspective?
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    34
    Gender:
    Female
    I like it! I would love it if my hubby wrote a fantasy from his point of view and sent it to me! In fact, I've always wanted the men I've been with to do this, and I've asked them to do it, but no one has ever really done it like this.

    I hope she enjoys it.
     
  5. SprinkleMe69

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2010
    Messages:
    7,882
    Likes Received:
    171
    Verified:
    Photo
    It sure turned me on! I really hope she likes it. :)
     
  6. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    You guys are nice. Thank you, I hope someone writes one of these for you Petite :) ( if they don't fuck em I'll write you one ;)
    Sprinkle I'll let you know how she likes it ;)
     
  7. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I've always wanted my FB to do this for me too because he has a remarkable ability with words. Unfortunately he never has :frown1:.

    OP, I think writing your partner a story is a really cool idea :smile:.


    I think this is really good advice. I like lots of dialogue and emotional manipulation in the stories I read.
     
  8. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,460
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,559
    Location:
    United States
    I love the idea of this, and hope it is just what your girlfriend likes. For me, I'd be turned on by the fact you sent it, but not so much by the story itself. For the story itself to turn me on as well, I would need more sensual details. I would need descriptions of textures against my skin. You write about what happens. Someone like me wants to read about how everything feels. I like things like this:

    Curious fingers ferret out your sexiest secrets. My fingers are like velvet rummaging through your satin, tickling over your lines and contours, marveling at marble muscles concealed by the most gloriously soft, silky skin. My fingers get greedy; I squeeze and knead, my excited breath coming faster as my hands search down your torso, getting ever closer to your hottest heat. I am overwhelmed, and must slow down. Leaning in, I pull delicious kisses from your lush lips, nipping playfully at your juicy offerings.

    I like a lot of descriptions and details. I need to be teased. If the narrative cuts to the chase too quickly, it's just not as good for me. BUT: No matter what is written, I must reiterate that the very idea of my dude sending my his horny thoughts would not only come across as sweet, but also as sexy.
     
  9. curious_angel

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,094
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    England
    Verified:
    Photo
    I love receiving erotic tales from a lover.

    Why not break it into smaller parts and send installments at regular intervals? Tease her by not giving her the whole story in one shot. Hopefully the anticipation will add to the pleasure.
     
  10. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    Thanks for the feedback. Much apprieciated.
    Altered/Curious_ this is really the 1st time I've done this we are not usually apart from each other so it's mainly sexy texts and pics during the day. Your words make total sense but I can't write like that!! If I wrote things like that she would know I got it online :(
    what I wrote is what we've done In the past, put down in caveman terms :)
    If you guys could give my tale a slight " trim " I could probably pass it off as mine ;)
    I will break it into several messages ( I'm gone for 3 nights )
     
  11. curious_angel

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Messages:
    1,094
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    England
    Verified:
    Photo
    Keep your own words scottish. :) That way it's more authentic and from your heart. Three parts would be ideal.

    Good luck. I hope she shows her appreciation on your return.
     
  12. Jewelzapop

    Jewelzapop New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2011
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    US
    I agree with every single post in here.

    The whole idea is hot. It's a turn on (not to mention, how sweet it is) just knowing he's away thinking about me and wanting to please me.

    It's also a turn on to be able to see it through his eyes, to get a glimpse of what he experiences.

    That said, my mind is female to a fault. =P So, I need descriptive details in addition to visuals. I like it to start off slooowly, letting my mind race ahead, giving it some time to get all good and dirty. ;) Where the anticipation is so great that I almost want to skip ahead a few paragraphs to get some release. But of course I won't...because I like teasing (almost?) to the point of masochism. =) Verbal foreplay, so to speak - very important. ;) I love getting almost like a running dialogue of what's going through your mind when you see her and how it makes you feel, what it does to you deep down. The process and the mechanics of sex are pretty much the same every time from a reader's standpoint, so it's what's going on between the lines that makes it different. That's not to say I don't want to read about what happens physically - quite the opposite... I want it in excruciating detail. I want every penetrative look, every clenched hand, every bead of sweat, every strand of loose hair, every furrowed brow and every heavy exhalation made note of. I need a full picture painted with a large palette of colors, telling a story that involves all of my senses. The kind that you can just lose yourself in, like major escapism.

    ...Hope that helps some - and of course I'm being picky - 'cause we're talking *ideally* here. ;) Really, if you just let your imagination and your inhibitions go and write honestly from within it'll be great. You're sweet and a good guy to do something like this for her. Safe travels and hope this'll aid in some uh-mazing "welcome home" sex for you both. ;)

    Edit: Three new posts since I started writing that. Hah. =P Yes, Curious Angel is spot on. Installments. Let it build. =) And I have faith in you, you can write like this! You just need to really think about what happens when you're together. Maybe reading some good Literotica would help you get some ideas. [I would suggest some if I knew of any... Did I mention I'm picky? ;) So, I'll leave the suggesting to others.] I'm here if ya' need help or feedback, but I agree, it should come from you. Good luck! =)
     
    #12 Jewelzapop, Mar 13, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2011
  13. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    Thanks for the advise Jewel. I'll do some rewritting.
     
  14. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2010
    Messages:
    1,742
    Likes Received:
    0
    It beats me sending jerking off vids!

    (Depends on her though!):cool:
     
  15. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    So should I send it or re write it? Planning sending it tomorrow night, tues and Wed night ( 3 installments )
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I think you should just send it as is (unless you just want to add more detail). We're all different, as the posts in this thread show. For instance, I like dialogue, hard fucking, and emotional manipulation; whereas others seem to want a story to manipulate their senses and make them feel it (maybe this is emotional manipulation for them?). Incidentally, what AE wrote would make me want to vomit from the sickly sweetness :tongue:. Anyway, to get to the point, I think you should just send it as something that comes naturally to you. Maybe later you could sit down together and talk about what did and didn't work for her, and what she wants more of. Then you could write many more stories in the future!
     
  17. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    Thanks Subgirl. I'll send as is.
     
  18. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    You're welcome :smile:. Let us know how things go.
     
  19. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,460
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,559
    Location:
    United States
    I agree with subgirl. You should send it as is, and always trust your experience and instinct. You know your girl. Frankly, nothing any of us says is remotely relevant.
     
  20. D_yabbadabbadont

    D_yabbadabbadont New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Messages:
    636
    Likes Received:
    2
    Subgirl I took your advise and added some more detail. It's still from my perspective but she would laugh her ass off at me if I tried the smoochy stuff quoted above. I'll post the revised edition.
    Also I sent it tonight and she LOVED it :) she went to bed and rubbed one off reading it Arf!! ;)
     
Draft saved Draft deleted