Ladies please help me out

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Imported, Mar 27, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    ItalianStallion: Hello ladies, I'm asking for a little help, and I think the wonderful ladies here would be able to give me the best advice

    Here is the deal, I am 19 and I dated the same girl sense I was 15, we broke up a little while ago. Anyway I was her first everything, so she really didn't know that I was well endowed, so it wasn't much of a problem and she is to this day the only girl I have slept with.

    But now I am dating a girl who is rather petite, she is about 5'2" 115lbs, much smaller than the other girl I was with, and we have been getting very close. I know she wants to get sexual with me, I have never really dated becuase I got in a long term relationship at 15. But she has slept with 4 guys in her sexual history, I have no idea how large these guys were. I am about 10" x 6.5" sometimes 10.5" x 7" if I am really aroused.

    My question is, if you were in her shoes, would you want to be known of my size ahead of time, or should I let her figure it out. I don't want to come off wrong so to tell her in a polite way would be a must.

    I am not just looking for a quick fling with this girl, I like her a lot and I am the relatioship type of guy. So I am looking for something more serious than a couple nights of fun.

    Ladies thank you for your help, if you have any more question about the situation that would better help you giving me a fulfilling answer, then by all means ask away.
     
  2. Imported

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    wvalady1968: IS, I wouldn't say much about it. Let the relationship progress naturally. There are so many issues that couples have to deal with, and that is just one of the fun issues.

    Good luck.

    Allie
    :-*
     
  3. benderten2001

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    ItalianStallion, as we await other women to respond, I have a thought on this one, too.

    While I agree with Allie to "wait awhile" and that this particular matter is not the most important a couple will have to deal with....there is some merit I think that your g.f. not be totally surprised, at the last minute, either.
    To do THAT just doesn't seem fair to treat her that way. Here's why:

    Two factors: First, your given dimensions aren't just "somewhat" above average, they are significantly above average and of course you know and admit that. Secondly, you made mention of her "petite size". So---given the two variables in this equation (your size and hers) --it stands to reason there IS something indeed you'll want to ponder down the road.

    This issue will work out, but having been around this forum for quite awhile now, I can concede "surprising a woman at the very last moment" isn't always the very best idea, afterall.

    I wouldn't "sweat over this". WHEN the two of you are far enough along in your relationship, the strength of that friendship will sustain (her especially) to endure whatever challenges and tests remain to explore. We have a few other posters (male and female alike) whom I hope will come forward soon with their own specific (subtle) ways to introduce your g.f to your given size factor...that is ways to do so without scaring her off and ruining what appears to be a good thing going for you right now. One way I can think of is, in future casual conversation, you may have occasion to "drop a hint" or two (politely and in a gentleman-like manner that is) while still conveying to her you have HER own interests before your own in even mentioning it.) Oddly, --yet, amazingly too, these kind of issues DO have their own way of working out over time if you can determine not to be intimidated by the challenge this represents for both you and her. Don't rush into the sex concern until it 's time and can be "thought-through" to present it.
    There ARE ways for you both to be compatible in the size department. But, it will take understanding from both of you to do it....and the proper timing which will surely present itself. Best wishes. ;)
     
  4. Imported

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    alysen6: Ditto on what the other two said, first of all.

    Here are my thoughts on it:

    First, most of the time when you first get sexual in a relationship, you don't do everything in one night. It might just be oral sex, or just getting naked and cuddling, or any number of things short of actual penetration. If you don't discuss it with her beforehand (and honestly, I don't see a need to), I would set it up so that you aren't expecting to go all the way the first night. That way she can deal with the surprise and not feel pressured.

    Second, and I mean this- DON'T feel discouraged if she says something like, "This isn't going to fit," or anything that in so many words says "hell, no." Tell her that's fine, and there is no pressure to do anything at all. I guarantee you that once she has time to think on it and her feelings about you, she will reconsider and think more constructively about it. Don't take that as the last word.

    Third, be relaxed and comfortable about the subject. Let her know that you aren't worried about it not working out and that you have her best interests in mind. She'll be reassured when she knows that it isn't as big a deal as she'll first think it is.

    Lastly, if she has issues with it, have her give me a call. Okay, just kidding, but honestly- let her know that sexual compatability is an issue that a lot of couples deal with and have success in. You both aren't going to get rid of a good thing without giving it your best.

    Hey, good luck, let us know how it goes.

    -Aly
     
  5. Imported

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    Tender: this may have already been stated --if so sorry for the repeat...

    i am 5' 110 pounds....
    i was with an 8 before and could have had more.
    so just because she is a petite size by outward appearance---doesnt mean she is small inside...

    she may just take awhile to get used to it, or she may not have trouble at all....

    you just have to be creative and find ways to make it work! ;)

    Tender
     
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