ladies, what makes a good pm approach?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by dolfette, Jul 26, 2009.

  1. dolfette

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    i think you should set out how it should be done, in order to prevent the lameness that is ''what size are you looking for?''
    start at the begining?

    #1 has to be a polite introduction.
     
  2. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Polite tops my list as well.

    Also...

    Have something to say!

    No "Hey" or "Yo". I have received messages where the subject and message were both "Hey!" and that's it.

    Nothing sexual, but flirtatious is fine.

    Good sense of humor. It always gets me

    If he wants information - a/s/l, name, cup size, etc., he has to provide his details first, PMs are not the correct setting for interrogations.

    Understands that I owe him nothing - not even a reply
     
  3. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    All good pointers! Some of mine:

    * if you comment on my photos, please have some of your own or don't expect me to flirt with you

    * if you don't live in my immediate metropolitan area, please be realistic about the (very small) prospect of us meeting. If I say that I'm in your area once every few years, do not write back to me several times to see if I'm coming anytime soon

    * do not demand a response or confirmation that I have received your email/pic. The internet is not broken and 99.9 times out of 100 your cock shot is gonna get through.

    * agreed with Kotchanski - "admiring me" is different from liking the fact that I'm into anal

    * if you don't have anything nice to say/just have backhanded compliments, don't say anything at all. Writing me to say "too bad about the unshaven bush, you're hot otherwise" or "really pretty face, but why don't you grow your hair long?" isn't going to get you in my good graces. If you appreciate me as I am, awesome. If you don't, fuck off.

    * along these lines, if you are a member of fourteen different groups dedicated to big tit appreciation, please don't write to tell me that you like my breasts. I'm not stupid.

    * spelling/grammar are important to me and probably the #1 reason I write people off, even if their dick is really impressive and they're otherwise totally hot

    * remember that many of us have lives and boyfriends/girlfriends and aren't sitting at our computer 24/7 waiting for a hot cam show with DeepDickStudinTX48234
     
  4. davis67

    davis67 New Member

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    As a male observer, I believe that men who pm women with backhanded compliments or rude sexual comments no sensible person would ever make in real life are either too afraid of women or not afraid at all....both should probably be avoided. just sayin'.
     
  5. tiff86

    tiff86 New Member

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    The only pm's I really answer are if they say something about some post I made. I don't really use pm's like chat so if they just say hey what's up I don't really respond. In chat I think if people just try to have a normal convo. I chat about all sortsa stuff here sex and other stuff too, but just having a normal convo makes it the most fun. Kinda not as interesting is if they open chat just to try to get me to view their pics or cam, or to get me to send them pics or do cybersex. Oh and I dunno why exactly but when they open chat and say asl it sorta makes me wanna end the convo esp. cuz the A and S you can tell from my screenname :confused:
     
  6. Enid

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    ALL great suggestions! I'll add a few of my own:

    1. Don't assume I am single.

    2. Don't ask my age and not because I don't want you to know, but because it's clearly in my profile and that only takes a little bit of effort to see. Also, don't make assumptions about my age.

    3. Don't send messages like "a/s/l" or "u r cute"; have something intelligent to say.

    4. Don't assume I am into camming.

    5. Please don't beg me for naked pictures.

    6. Please don't send me friend requests, then delete me if we never talk and THEN send me a 2nd friend request later hoping for a different result.

    I think that's it, otherwise I am happy to answer all that I can.
     
  7. kazooplayer

    kazooplayer New Member

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    You mean I have to change my mass-PM'ing every woman on this site "omg ur hawt lol wanna cam?" approach?

    Poppycock, I say.
     
  8. Daisy

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    I typed out a long response to this but I'm just going to say I pretty much agree with everyone else and leave it at that :)
     
  9. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I agree with a lot of the ladies on here so far. I'm sure I'll be repeating some things, but I'll just tell you what I would prefer when a guy PM's me.

    Like Kotch said, if your main goal is to get me to look at your cock or inflate your ego, then stop now and don't even bother.

    Don't say anything to me or ask me any questions that you wouldn't ask me in person.
    "How big are your tits?" "What do you think of my cock?" "What's your favorite position?" "Wanna fuck?" If you wouldn't walk up to a woman in a public place and ask her these questions, then don't ask them of me either. The internet isn't an excuse to throw all manners out the window. I'm still just as much of a person in text as I am in real life and I expect to be treated that way.

    If you are truly interested in me as a person, check out my profile before you PM me. I really hate when guys ask me where I'm from or how old I am. As soon as they ask me that, I automatically think they don't give a shitfuck about me or who I am as a person because they didn't bother taking the 3 seconds it takes to find that out.

    One guy from this site that has now become a very dear friend of mine took an approach I like. We started chatting and flirting on the forums. He'd respond to my posts and I'd respond to his, etcetera. After a couple days of that, he PM'd me asking, "How do you feel about PM's?" Simple, polite, no pressure. I appreciated that.

    Most women on this site appreciate cock, but we aren't cock-starved whores who want nothing more than to slob on your knob. Please don't treat us that way.

    Sense of humor always helps.

    Hm. I think that's it... for now, anyway.
     
  10. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    If you have something intellectual to say, a comment on something i've said, a reference to a conversation we've had....that works for me. I can tell 2 words into a PM that a dude is sending this to every other woman on lpsg and just wants me to rate his photos.

    I dont want a 4 paragraph saga trying to tangle me into some SPH (small penis humiliation) situation. No i don't care about your wife or girlfriend wanting a big dick and im certainly not going to give you advice about threesomes.

    I get more enjoyment out of reading hate mail, that is specifically written about something that pissed them off than reading some genericly generated "Is my cock ok?" note.
     
  11. Darpon

    Darpon New Member

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    Do women seriously get that many PM's in such a horrible way?

    The only two reasons for bad grammar is if you are legitimately in a rush, or in chat. In chat, it's excusable, but it's still greatly preferable for you to use proper English. As for being in a rush, if it's a message that can wait, then let it wait.
     
  12. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Every few months i have to delete my inbox, why? Because its reached 1000 capacity. You can only imagine how weird some of it gets.
     
  13. barbiegirl007

    barbiegirl007 New Member

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    No, never. They have always been very polite.
     
  14. dolfette

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    i don't think most of the men are horrible.
    i think that, because we're just names online, they don't see as as regular people.
    they're crass, classless and rude but rarely mean...though it does amuse me that so many get pissy and offended by rejection.
     
  15. Daisy

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    I would never want to be bitchy about it and say "Oh it's just a burden..all these PM's" which sounds so ungrateful. On the other hand I can't answer them all, esp. the ones that say "I like your tits". How to respond to that? I am aware that the male/female ratio is imbalanced and it's definitely in my favor. On the other hand, I try to be sensitive to the fact that although some may be crass, most are well intentioned. So being one of a small minority of women, I don't feel gives me the right to go stomping on guy's feelings and treat them as just one of the masses. Even though it feels like it at times, and is tempting after awhile, I still try to remember that there is a person behind every comment, and as much as I want them to respect me I try to respect them as well. Now if a guy PM's me and it's downright crude, I just delete it and don't give it a second thought.

    As far as Yahoo chat, I hope guys understand that I've been asked to Yahoo chat about a thousand times and I simply don't have enough time in a day. I have very few people I do chat with and those people are friends, and opposed to "cyber buddies".
     
  16. dirk2d

    dirk2d Member

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    Judging from what I've seen people openly post on this site to other members and from one or two PM's I've received, I don't think I can imagine or want to know some of the full on and strange messages some of you ladies must get! lol

    I agree with the last part about a/s/l, name, cup size, etc. These questions seem like they're aimed at building a jack off fantasy for later. Not really enticing I can imagine.

    I've heard a lot that women don't like or won't reply to the "Hey" or "What's up" approach. I admit it isn't the most interesting way to get someone's attention but when I have used dating sites, 99.9% of the messages I received from women were exactly that kind of approach, even from the ones who stated in their profiles "Don't message 'hey' or 'check out my profile' to me or I won't respond, be creative'" lol

    When I received one like that I was always flattered because it means they're interested and I just thought they must be shy. I'd reply with something with a little more substance and wit to get the conversation started and found out most of them were actually quite fun, intelligent women.

    But then again I can see how women might think the "Hey" approach could be a mass generic message with no thought behind it. Two sides to every coin :biggrin1:
     
  17. dolfette

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    my sigline says i'm a guy.
    i post as a frigid man hater.
    this reduces the flow to a mere trickle.

    :smile:
     
  18. Wish-4-8

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    Um... Women can be truckers. Your sigline doesnt state you are male.
    Your profile to the left says you are female.

    And to be honest, I never noticed your sigline until you pointed it out a while back. I was always drawn to your avatars, which BTW, I have been collecting. :redface:

    I missed the one where "you" are in the tub and I kick myself that I didnt get it. You changed it before I could save it. :frown1:
    BTW, your lastest is incredible!!! :wink:

    And no, I do not make a habit of this. In fact, you are the only one. Not that it means anything, I mean, I have never sent you a PM or a friendship request. I just like a pretty picture. :cool:

    The point is, that your little tricks didnt work on me. But at the same time, I am not a weirdo here either. And I feel for you ladies that have to put up with this crap.
     
  19. dolfette

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    they work on most, which is what counts.
    i'm happy that you're one of the exceptions.
     
  20. Crosz

    Crosz Member

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    Generally speaking women don't like to be talked
    to or approached by men that they don't know;
    I would assume that the same applies to the
    virtual world.
     
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