Ladies would a guy having alopecia stop you from dating him

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Jojo51623, Feb 2, 2010.

  1. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    Alopecia is a form of hair loss. It is something I have had since 1st grade. There really is no cure other than steroid shots but those are said to make you very moody and angry and aren't even guaranteed to work and even if they do work your hair can fall right back out again. Basically alopecia is no different than dating a guy that shaves his head other than the fact that you don't have body hair(though I do have pubic hair). Some girls have told me they like the fact that I don't have hair on my arms and my legs because it makes my skin feel smooth but I have only been in one relationship in my 22 years of living, and she cheated on me. So ladies, if a guy is sweet, caring, there for you, funny but also has a serious side would alopecia stop you from dating him?
     
  2. AlteredEgo

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    She didn't cheat because of alopecia.

    Many men with alopecia have body hair.

    A friend of mine seems to have reversed his with a cleansing fast and stess reduction.
     
  3. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    Yes, some men with alopecia do have body hair, however other than pubic hair I don't. There are (I believe) three forms of it. One is just the scalp, another is where you can't grow a beard but have a full head of hair and another is where you can have no body hair. I'm glad your friend got cured but not everyone can.

    Also, while I can't confirm or deny she cheated because ofalopecia because she never told me why she cheated how can we go as far as to say that didn't have any factor in it? I made her very happy, she would always tell me how happy she was and how much she loved me, then cheated out of nowhere. While she isn't gonna come out and say "I cheated because you havealopecia" who is to say she didn't find the other guy more attractive which could of had a lot to do with the fact that I havealopecia as a bald head can change your whole look dramatically.

    Also you didn't really answer the question at hand.
     
    #3 Jojo51623, Feb 2, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2010
  4. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    Yes, some men with alopecia do have body hair, however other than pubic hair I don't. There are (I believe) three forms of alopecia.

    Also, while I can't confirm or deny she cheated because of alopecia because she never told me why she cheated how can we go as far as to say that didn't have any factor in it? I made her very happy, she would always tell me how happy she was and how much she loved me, then cheated out of nowhere. While she isn't gonna come out and say "I cheated because you have alopecia" who is to say she didn't find the other guy more attractive which could of had a lot to do with the fact that I have alopecia as a bald head can change your whole look hugely.

    Also you didn't really answer the question at hand.

    Sorry for the double reply. If a Mod can just delete this one that would be great.
     
    #4 Jojo51623, Feb 2, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2010
  5. AlteredEgo

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    People don't cheat because of external reasons, they cheat because of who they are. Even if the justification for cheating is "man A is less attractive than man B" the reason is still because she wanted to. The reason is always "Because I want to". You cannot prevent another person from straying. If they want to sleep around, they will. If a person is prone to looking for that greener grass, they will always find it.

    My opinion that she didn't cheat because of alopecia is my answer to your question, but if you need it spelled out with many words: If a man has alopecia before I get involved with him, and he's kind, considerate, and every thing else I want in a man, then nothing which already existed (physical condition, emotional state, or any other pre-existing condition) would get between us. Is that a clear enough answer, or do you want to continue to permit self-doubt deafen you?
     
    #5 AlteredEgo, Feb 2, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2010
  6. D_Sandy_Krautch

    D_Sandy_Krautch New Member

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    I'm going to have to agree with Altered. People don't cheat because of external reasons. That really isn't my reason for posting, though. I just figured I'd offer the other side of the coin. I'm not a fan of body hair. I AM a fan of bald men. I can honestly say that if there were ever two men who were equally appealing to me, except that one had hair and one didn't... I'd choose the bald man. Hands down. Every time. So, even if your ex DID cheat because of your lack of hair... Forget it. Her loss. There are plenty of women out there who truly believe that "bald is beautiful".
     
  7. naughty

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    I too agree with Alter and SNarky. As for the Alopecia Totalis I have had family members who suffered from it and it was quite traumatic. Dating would not be a problem if all other things clicked. Do you think you may be more hesitant (if so it is understandable ) because you yourself are not comfortable about how you think others will respond to you? Hang in there and I do truly hope that you will meet someone deserving of who you really are.
     
  8. ManlyBanisters

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    The alopecia would not stop me from dating a guy - if he was extremely obsessive and paranoid about it I think I would get bored with that. I'm not trying to be a bitch saying that - I understand that a condition like alopecia or something else, like eczema perhaps, can make a person concerned about his/her appearance. It's almost bound to to some degree. But if it became all the person talked about, like women who constantly ask their husbands and friends to comment on their weight, it would get tiresome.

    I would do and say everything I could to reassure my partner, but if those reassurance continually fell on deaf ears I think I would start to feel like I was dealing with somebody who was unwilling to deal with the self image problem and that would be an issue in a relationship for me. I'm not saying you, jojo, are like that - I'm just trying to explain a situation where I could see it becoming a problem.

    On the subject of your previous girlfriend - you don't say if you developed the alopecia before or after you met her. If she started dating you when you already had the condition then I can't see it being a factor in her cheating. If you developed the condition after you were already with her then I can see it being a factor. If (big if) it was the case she became less attracted to you because of it then she should have had the balls to tell you that straight. Attractions wax and wane in some relationships - that's never a reason to cheat and I agree with the others that the cheating almost certainly says a whole lot more about her than it does about you.
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    In the OP it is stated that he had alopecia since 1st grade.
     
  10. ManlyBanisters

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    Thanks AE - I thought he'd said when, but I skimmed back through the post and didn't see it.

    If she was attracted to him in the first place I really don't see the cheating having anything to do with his looks at all.
     
  11. D_Hyacinth Harrytwat

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    I think it's apparent that the girl who cheated was attracted to the OP physically because they were in a relationship in the first place; who would go out with someone they weren't crazy about on the outside?

    As for the question, no, alopecia wouldn't stop me. I do find totally bald men sexy, absolutely, but I also work at a kennel where we breed a dog breed that has a problem with alopecia, so I know it's manageable in the long term. We got our methods from another breeder and it goes contrary to what veterinarians try to do (which is treat the dog for thyroid problems) so I would wonder if our methods work on humans too? Here's what they do:

    - Treat any secondary infections with antibiotics
    - Rub baby oil into the affected skin and let it soak for an hour. You can also put the baby oil in some water in a spray bottle and shake it up good.
    - Wash the area with good grease-cutting dishsoap, like palmolive, several times to get all the baby oil and dead skin off
    - Wash with normal shampoo

    You'll see an immediate improvement in the skin's health, but I've heard that it can take up to 6 months for normal hair growth to return. People who use this treatment on their dogs say that they can do it once a month and their dog's coat stays healthy and full!
     
  12. luka82

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    I knew a girl with alopecia.....she had BFs...no biggy!
     
  13. Principessa

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    Well that depends? Does he have a small dick? Cause then the answer is no. :tongue:

    Just saw your album. You should have no problem dating with that cock. :flirt: I can see the upside to not getting beard burn on my inner thighs. :wink:

    If your ex-gf cheated on you it had nothing to do with the alopecia. Women usually cheat for emotional reasons. Perhaps you weren't paying her enough attention. :frown1:



     
  14. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    Not sure if you comment about my dick is suppose to be serious or not? Are you saying I am small? lol

    I have thought about it being emotional reasons but I don't think it was as I paid a lot of attention to her and was always there to comfort her.
     
  15. dolfette

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    i like fur.
    i get a little creeped out by shaved genitals.
    but, no, i think it's one of those things i'd start finding attractive after a while...like scars or weird patches of hair. those little imperfections that you grow fond of when you love someone.
    if he was a great guy it wouldn't change my feelings.
     
  16. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    I have no scars or patches of hair coming in. I shave my head everyday so it's always smooth. Also I have never heard of anyone having scars from alopecia?
     
  17. dolfette

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    those were examples of other odd little things i grow attached to. hence the use of the word 'LIKE' before listing them. like = comparable to.

    oh, and the other poster was complimenting your dick.
     
  18. Jojo51623

    Jojo51623 Member

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    Ah, ok I see.

    Thanks. lol
     
  19. helgaleena

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    If we had good chemistry and the man is natually not hairy but still beautiful and tastes good to me, yes i would be with him. But I warn you, I am a pretty furry woman.

    The way people shave themselves, even their heads nowadays for fashion or for sports, you might look very stylish.
     
  20. L_Lynn

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    Alopecia wouldn't stop me from dating a guy.

    Pretentious, self-centered, a poor sense of humor, insecure, jealous, anger management issues, passive-aggressive behavior, lack of hygiene, really sad grammar, low IQ, dull, sports fanatic, cat allergies, open sores, horrendous breath, really bad in bed, liar, abusive, condescending, powerful body odor, disrespectful, superficial, inconsiderate, thoughtless, rude, insensitive, overly sensitive, missing a lot of teeth, carnivore, poor vocabulary...... these are some things that would make me not date a guy. Alopecia is not in there.
     
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