Ladies, would this upset you?

[AlteredEgo]

:smile:curiousgirl, this is a support group. We're here for you.

 

[bluekarma]

:smile:curiousgirl, this is a support group. We're here for you.

Aw, gosh. Thank you. :smile:

Give yourself some credit, CG. You're not self-centered, I also want to be number one all the time. But I can live with being the actual number one, the one on the accessible list, even if all positions in front of me are taken by women he has had, or dreams of having and will never have. Heads up, honey: Those rankings are not set in stone. You can make rank, I think, and I'm not talking about plastic surgery here. Probably you'll become more attractive to him as your time together goes by, at least there's a chance that might happen.

Thanks Claire, you always know exactly what to say.

 

[karmen]

This too shall pass. However, if you hound him too hard when he's being truthful with you, you will soon find that he'll stop being truthful and just tell you want you want to hear.

That's why men's magazine is filled with beautiful "girls" with beauthful bodies, no one woman can be every man's ideal woman ALL of the time. And the reverse is true for them also.

Hugs and Kisses,

Karmen

 

[Skull Mason]

Basically what you are setting yourself up for when you ask that question (and when guys ask about your previous cock experiences) is a chance to let him get a "power play" as I call it. Like when a team in hockey gets a penalty, it loses one player and the other team has the advantage, or power play. Whether concious or not, one can almost always get the power play when he or she senses the other teams vulnerabilities [insecurities]. However, much like a good defense stops the power play team from scoring, you can too. The only way you let him score is if you let it bother you. So he likes big tits. Whoopeee. I bet he won't desire those big tits of hers when she is old and grey and they are sagging off her knees, while your fit hiking body is still strong and tight.

Also, if you aren't as physically fit as you think you can be, use this as motivation. Maybe it was his subtle way of saying that although he does love your body, you can always work on it and improve it. Get out on that hiking trail and hit that gym everyday and show him what a real body is. Fuck tits. Titties are for boys! Men want the whole package. And if you feel the need to even up the scoring by going on your own power play, maybe you can mention that really long, thick, beautiful football cock you sucked over and over again back in college because you couldn't get enough of it!

Don't forget to mention that if he asks what cock you would choose to have for the rest of your life you answer his, because the college cock you had would be just tooooo much time and time again over the course of the next 40 years of your life.

Advantage: curious

 

[bluekarma]

I can't believe I just heard you say "Fuck tits. Titties are for boys!" Haha, I love it. Spoken like a real man....that loves a womans body, not just one aspect of it. I really like your thinking. I actually did stretch the truth a little when he asked me the same question, so yeah, this entire conversation will NEVER take place again in my lifetime, for me, ever again!

Thanks...!

Basically what you are setting yourself up for when you ask that question (and when guys ask about your previous cock experiences) is a chance to let him get a "power play" as I call it. Like when a team in hockey gets a penalty, it loses one player and the other team has the advantage, or power play. Whether concious or not, one can almost always get the power play when he or she senses the other teams vulnerabilities [insecurities]. However, much like a good defense stops the power play team from scoring, you can too. The only way you let him score is if you let it bother you. So he likes big tits. Whoopeee. I bet he won't desire those big tits of hers when she is old and grey and they are sagging off her knees, while your fit hiking body is still strong and tight.

Also, if you aren't as physically fit as you think you can be, use this as motivation. Maybe it was his subtle way of saying that although he does love your body, you can always work on it and improve it. Get out on that hiking trail and hit that gym everyday and show him what a real body is. Fuck tits. Titties are for boys! Men want the whole package. And if you feel the need to even up the scoring by going on your own power play, maybe you can mention that really long, thick, beautiful football cock you sucked over and over again back in college because you couldn't get enough of it!

Don't forget to mention that if he asks what cock you would choose to have for the rest of your life you answer his, because the college cock you had would be just tooooo much time and time again over the course of the next 40 years of your life.

Advantage: curious

 

[B_Kshelby67]

I think that if you asked the question, it isn't fair to be upset with the answer, especially when it is an honest one. Just by the fact he answered so honestly shows a lot about this guy. He isn't going to tell you things just because it will keep you happy. Honesty is a wonderful quality in a person.
And like everyone else said, he is with you for a reason, and his ex is his ex for a reason. Best of luck to you

 

[pavement]

Oooh. Well, when you put it that way, heh...makes me feel better, and of course you're right. I'm dense on top of being immature it seems. But FWIW, this is helping me grow, I think....I hope .

Well if I read your 1st post correctly his reply was in reference only to physical appearance.
If with over 6 billion people alive on Earth someone should meet the person who would be the perfect or at least closest to it in whatever respect, that exists let alone go beyond just meeting them the question of why could be raised.
It didn't seem clear to me if his reply was in choosing between you and she or all that he has known or considered. If one expects or hopes for a particular response and queries why it should be so then other possible alternatives might be extrapolated to be be constrained by the limits of insufficient lucidity of ones reason/s for it being thus.
So if expectations and hope collide with likely-hood then any deviation proscribed to ones own characteristics maybe evaluated further and so would eventually be dependant on the questions answer finding satisfactory resolve in circumstances maybe beyond ones control but not proven thus leaving reason for hope and a basis for change.

 

[MagicTongue]

She might have big tits, but who's to say you don't have a better personality?

 

[lemont77]

If I asked the question, I wouldn't be upset with the answer.

Curiousgirl, I have to agree with Meg, in part. If I asked the question, I would have to be prepared to deal with the answer. Personally, I don't think you can blame him too much for this episode. I mean, he could have left it at "I'd pick her body," but then you asked "Why?"

However, I'm not going to blame you either, since he apparently did his level best to put his foot in his mouth up to his knee. All guys should know how to handle this by now!!! I'll give you an example: My wife and I decided to be completely honest with each other. We thought this would doom us, but it ended up going well. She asked me if I'd dated anyone skinnier than her. I said "Yes, but your body style is what really turns me on!" And that's truth. She asked if I've ever been with a girl who had bigger boobs. I said "Yes, but yours are perfect, and so responsive!" Again, truth! Being honest in a relationship is important, but you have to remember to tell the WHOLE truth.

BUT! If you backed him into a corner where he either had to lie or possibly upset you with the truth, you need to let it go. I know it's hard. I've been dumped because of my weight, and one girl did say she was with a guy hung to his knees, which was hurtful (especially since I did NOT ask...and I am well hung, compared to most of America!).

I don't know why I had so much to say on this topic, especially since we haven't really talked before. I hope I was able to help.

 

[feely]

sounds to mke like he couldn't win. If he'd have lied you wouldn't have believed him, and because he told the truth, you're upset and pissed at him.

Aren't relationships supposed to be based on truth and honesty, and to be fair, you did ask him for his honest opinion, and he gave it you. I'm completely on his side on this one.

 

[bluekarma]

I think that if you asked the question, it isn't fair to be upset with the answer, especially when it is an honest one. Just by the fact he answered so honestly shows a lot about this guy. He isn't going to tell you things just because it will keep you happy. Honesty is a wonderful quality in a person.
And like everyone else said, he is with you for a reason, and his ex is his ex for a reason. Best of luck to you

I considered his honesty, and wow, this guy has lots for me to be amazed by...his honesty is just the beginng. But you're right, thanks.

Well if I read your 1st post correctly his reply was in reference only to physical appearance.
If with over 6 billion people alive on Earth someone should meet the person who would be the perfect or at least closest to it in whatever respect, that exists let alone go beyond just meeting them the question of why could be raised.
It didn't seem clear to me if his reply was in choosing between you and she or all that he has known or considered. If one expects or hopes for a particular response and queries why it should be so then other possible alternatives might be extrapolated to be be constrained by the limits of insufficient lucidity of ones reason/s for it being thus.
So if expectations and hope collide with likely-hood then any deviation proscribed to ones own characteristics maybe evaluated further and so would eventually be dependant on the questions answer finding satisfactory resolve in circumstances maybe beyond ones control but not proven thus leaving reason for hope and a basis for change.

I think this was over my head, but maybe I see what you're saying.

She might have big tits, but who's to say you don't have a better personality?

Yeah, that's what he said.

Curiousgirl, I have to agree with Meg, in part. If I asked the question, I would have to be prepared to deal with the answer. Personally, I don't think you can blame him too much for this episode. I mean, he could have left it at "I'd pick her body," but then you asked "Why?"

However, I'm not going to blame you either, since he apparently did his level best to put his foot in his mouth up to his knee. All guys should know how to handle this by now!!! I'll give you an example: My wife and I decided to be completely honest with each other. We thought this would doom us, but it ended up going well. She asked me if I'd dated anyone skinnier than her. I said "Yes, but your body style is what really turns me on!" And that's truth. She asked if I've ever been with a girl who had bigger boobs. I said "Yes, but yours are perfect, and so responsive!" Again, truth! Being honest in a relationship is important, but you have to remember to tell the WHOLE truth.

BUT! If you backed him into a corner where he either had to lie or possibly upset you with the truth, you need to let it go. I know it's hard. I've been dumped because of my weight, and one girl did say she was with a guy hung to his knees, which was hurtful (especially since I did NOT ask...and I am well hung, compared to most of America!).

I don't know why I had so much to say on this topic, especially since we haven't really talked before. I hope I was able to help.

He admitted that he went beyond what was necessary to answer my questions. But he also said that he felt like I was egging it on. I appreciate you're looking that this from both sides.

sounds to mke like he couldn't win. If he'd have lied you wouldn't have believed him, and because he told the truth, you're upset and pissed at him.

Aren't relationships supposed to be based on truth and honesty, and to be fair, you did ask him for his honest opinion, and he gave it you. I'm completely on his side on this one.

Yeah, that's exactly what he said. He couldn't win, and truthfully you're probably right. He said "even if I had picked you, you would've said "yeah right" so I guess it was a loaded question, like I said in my OP. You're right feely...thanks for the reply.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

If I asked the question, I wouldn't be upset with the answer.

Ditto... CG you asked the question, it was a loaded one.. you got the loaded answer back...

 

[Lito]

I tend to answer truthfully when I receive a direct answer. This is me... I'd have given the same answer (if I had the same opinion).

And I would be the one pissed at you for putting me in this situation

All in all, relax... as you said yourself, you're learning... aren't we all?

 

[B_big dirigible]

Man-o-man ... someone silly enough to ask that question, and someone silly enough to answer it. Sounds like a match made in heaven!

 

[AlteredEgo]

So what I'm left wondering, is:

Is there some other problem? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you afraid of success? It almost sounds like you went out of your way to do some damage to what you have here. Is that a pattern?

I swear these questions are not meant to hurt you in any way. I'm just wondering if there is a deeper issue we could maybe help you with. But I don't know you. I could be way off base. Anyway, I would be a little hurt at first if someone was asking me the questions I'm asking you, so I understand if you get mad at me. But truly, my intentions are ony the best, I promise.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

One thing I have learned in my short 25 years is to make sure I want to know the answer to a question before I ask it. I have to consider the possibility that I may not hear what I want. It's taught me two things... 1, to shutup... and 2, to word my questions very carefully. You'll figure it out. :tongue: I don't even ask about the exes of my boyfriends because I still have certain hangups about myself and I know that one of those will be exposed if I ask about them.

 

[ClaireTalon]

It's always the same thing with ex's, it suffices to know they existed, no details needed. I also never asked about an ex, that question is full of pitfalls. Not only that there's the possibility you might not like the answer, what if he connects painful memories with one of his ex's, too? Maybe she was beautiful, but a cheater. Maybe she was his love of a lifetime, but died. Yes, that's drama, but two pitfalls that one should rather avoid then walk right into.

One thing I have learned in my short 25 years is to make sure I want to know the answer to a question before I ask it. I have to consider the possibility that I may not hear what I want. It's taught me two things... 1, to shutup... and 2, to word my questions very carefully. You'll figure it out. :tongue: I don't even ask about the exes of my boyfriends because I still have certain hangups about myself and I know that one of those will be exposed if I ask about them.

 

[compsciguy]

Seconding the "who the fuck cares about titties" thing.

First of all, there's only so much you can do with titties.

I will take a delicious pussy that gushes all over my face over a couple of nipples I'll get bored of anyday.

Couple that with a lickable ass and I don't really care if you're an A cup.

 

[Love-it]

...this entire conversation will NEVER take place again in my lifetime, for me, ever again!

1. His statement did not convey the "I don't love you" that you heard.
2. This question will remain on your test that you need to pass at age 30, 40, 50, etc.
3. Forgive the poor bastard.

When we got together nearly 33 years ago I wondered what it would be like living with her as an old lady, could I handle it?

She is 59, I'm 58, and she is still just as cute as the day I met her 35 years ago. I enjoy looking at and fantasizing about young women with vibrant, sexy bodies and my wife likes to look at and fantasize about men with six pack physiques and a head of hair. We are still in love and love to cuddle and make love when we can. When we were first together I wondered what it would be like living with an old woman and if I could handle it, well I am here to report that she is cute and sexy and I love her and I don't see that changing in the future.

I will leave you with a simple statement "Love is the sauce/source of life."

 

[bluekarma]

I'm really starting to regret posting this entire thread. I mean, I know it was a stupid thing to ask, and I made it clear in my OP that I knew it was stupid. Anyway, I can't say anything about responses I receive because I DID ask for it by posting this. Maybe I'm just grumpy from no sleep last night . I do want to make it clear that I'm not used to dating, or being with a new person. This is a first for me in over 10 years. I met my ex husband at age 15, and we just divorced in October. I am new at this, and just getting my feet wet with new relationship interaction.

I tend to answer truthfully when I receive a direct answer. This is me... I'd have given the same answer (if I had the same opinion).

And I would be the one pissed at you for putting me in this situation

All in all, relax... as you said yourself, you're learning... aren't we all?

I guess he had a right to be pissed, but if you read the entire thread, I mentioned how he asked me the SAME question the day before.

Man-o-man ... someone silly enough to ask that question, and someone silly enough to answer it. Sounds like a match made in heaven!

Perhaps. I suppose you've never asked a silly question before?

So what I'm left wondering, is:

Is there some other problem? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you afraid of success? It almost sounds like you went out of your way to do some damage to what you have here. Is that a pattern?

I swear these questions are not meant to hurt you in any way. I'm just wondering if there is a deeper issue we could maybe help you with. But I don't know you. I could be way off base. Anyway, I would be a little hurt at first if someone was asking me the questions I'm asking you, so I understand if you get mad at me. But truly, my intentions are ony the best, I promise.

Some of the things you said above ring very true for me, for various reasons. I suppose it is a pattern. Care to try and fix me? You've got your work cut out for you :wink: , hah.

One thing I have learned in my short 25 years is to make sure I want to know the answer to a question before I ask it. I have to consider the possibility that I may not hear what I want. It's taught me two things... 1, to shutup... and 2, to word my questions very carefully. You'll figure it out. :tongue: I don't even ask about the exes of my boyfriends because I still have certain hangups about myself and I know that one of those will be exposed if I ask about them.

I've learned some of that too MamaMeg, I'm 25 as well....although I may come off as pretty immature sometimes, I am and have been told I am wise beyond my years. I guess everyone makes a mistake every now and then. Dating is a new experience for me. I married the man I started dating at age 15, and we just divorced. So, like I said, this IS a learning experience for me. I am wise in most all other area's of my life, but this, I have to admit is a bit foriegn to me. Thanks for your reply....good advice.

It's always the same thing with ex's, it suffices to know they existed, no details needed. I also never asked about an ex, that question is full of pitfalls. Not only that there's the possibility you might not like the answer, what if he connects painful memories with one of his ex's, too? Maybe she was beautiful, but a cheater. Maybe she was his love of a lifetime, but died. Yes, that's drama, but two pitfalls that one should rather avoid then walk right into.

Those are good points Claire, much different perspective for me to think about.

Seconding the "who the fuck cares about titties" thing.

First of all, there's only so much you can do with titties.

I will take a delicious pussy that gushes all over my face over a couple of nipples I'll get bored of anyday.

Couple that with a lickable ass and I don't really care if you're an A cup.

Haha, he loves some pussy and ass too...so I GOT that covered :smile:

1. His statement did not convey the "I don't love you" that you heard.
2. This question will remain on your test that you need to pass at age 30, 40, 50, etc.
3. Forgive the poor bastard.

When we got together nearly 33 years ago I wondered what it would be like living with her as an old lady, could I handle it?

She is 59, I'm 58, and she is still just as cute as the day I met her 35 years ago. I enjoy looking at and fantasizing about young women with vibrant, sexy bodies and my wife likes to look at and fantasize about men with six pack physiques and a head of hair. We are still in love and love to cuddle and make love when we can. When we were first together I wondered what it would be like living with an old woman and if I could handle it, well I am here to report that she is cute and sexy and I love her and I don't see that changing in the future.

I will leave you with a simple statement "Love is the sauce/source of life."

That's really sweet Love-it. Your wife is a lucky lady. And you sound like a very happy man. Thanks for reminding me that we all fantasize but it doesn't mean we love our partners any less, or desire them any less.