Okay, I'm about to give you guys a little bit of a gush about my night last night... because I can't tell anyone else. Okay. I'm sitting over at my friend's house(whose name I wont use) and me and him are playing some guitar, I'm showing him some simple chords and whatnot(hes a beginner) and after a while we get a call from my friend's friend(who I will call jamie, thats not her real name though) so anyway, she and her sister(jessica, I'll call her that, though its not her real name) are apparently board, and they wanna hang out with me and my friend. So, I run some money to my brother and we head over to their house. I'm talking and telling jokes, and they're all roaring. Then one of the girl's friends(I'll call him weirdo, because he listens to the Insane Clown Posse) comes over and we decide to get sit at dennys, and eat... maybe. So we're sitting their and I'm telling jokes, and making an ass out of my self(because I constantly make myself the butt of the joke... I'm like Sonny and Cher, only without the Cher.) So after a while, I'm getting to know Jessica(who, to me, is just dynamite. Cute face, love her body, and hes got a personality that goes way beyond all that. She's a great girl.) she starts asking for someone to "cuddle" with her... and she kept looking at me, and I know she wanted me to do that cuddling... Yea, it's turning into a great situation, but there's something you have to realize: Growing up hating people, and being hated by people has kind of left me affectionately inept. So anyway, I climb back onto the booth with her, and I'm feeling like a little dog, and she's a matriarch: she rubbing my head and breathing on the back of my neck, and we're chilling out(BTW, that was one of the only times I didnt feel the need to break for a cigarette.) So anyway, Ill skip past all the other drama... We got back to Jessica and Jamie's house and we were still chilling out and laughin, but then my friend and jamie went into the back room to look at shit on the computer(or something) and it was just me and jessica... We walking into her room(where I continue to tell jokes, and continues to laugh) The here comes my friend! Apparently one of his other friends(who is a female) is all depressed and shit, and wants to kill herself(or somethig stupid like that) And he wants to borrow my car. and I wouldnt let him do it. It's a standard(which he doesnt know how to drive) he car is all fucked up(he backed into a telephone pole with his driverside door up, and nearly broke it off) he's a shitty driver(he really is) and I worked long an dhard to pay for my car, and idk if you're a driving instructor! no one drives my car but me. So we reach a deal, I'll take him to his house, and he'll take his car, and Jessica wil come with me... They tried telling me that jessica and I would be alone(and idk, but I think this was just the opportunity jessica was looking for) So i go for it. So, we stop and get gas, talking, etc etc and finally we get back to her place. We talk and talk until my friend and jessica's sister come back, then we get a little more comfortable. We're laying down, with the lights off, and she notices I'm shaking(which I constantly do, because I am incredibly thin, and tension so fucking high Michael Jordan couldnt grab it. So she wants to give me a backrub. Also, I was bit nervous, because in my mind, I'm not much of a catch. I'm thin, jittery, and have back acne... and I'm really starting to like this girl, and I just dont wanna fuck it up. So she's rubbing my back, and untying some of the knots, and I feel helpless under this lovely young lady, I'm like putty in her hand. She running her fingers up and down my back, and teasing me. And, generally, I hate people touching me, so this is a new thing(sort of) and so anyway, we move on and start kissing(on and off, "making out" for a while, then snuggling) and seeing as how I have no idea what's going on in my mind I do the only thing I can do to cope... I tell fucking jokes... Yea... jokes... please, dont feel sorry for me(although I do need all the condolences I can get) So after a while, we're both getting tired(its like 5 am by now) so we turn off and goto sleep. about 40 minutes ago, at 1 pm, jessica's boyfriend shows up(who i met last night before denny's) and I leave. Okay, so anyway, here's my quandary. Jessica has a boyfriend, and normally I would feel like a jerk for messing around with some other guy's girlfriend, but in this case, to put it blunt, I don't care. Secondly, jessica and jamie are moving to north carolina in 6 months. and finally, I made such a complete ass out of myself(with the jokes) I doubt she'd ever want to try anything again.(even though she more or less laughed her ass off at every joke) But before her boyfriend got there at 1 she said "we need to hang out more often" and we made a date to goto a kickass rockabilly concert in springfield, and we've decided to expand her horizons on what films she watches, so I wil show her some of my movies(which all kick ass btw) For once in my life I found someone who makes me not utterly hate the world, who lets me think sometimes a few people aren't fuckheads(most of them still are though) So anyway, what do you think? (BTW, I am remember of the old saying: "If she'll do it for you, she'll do it to you" Any thoughts? Any advice based on past experiences?