Lasting a long time: a human construction?

Zorgolio

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A few disclaimers before I get into the main thrust of this thread.

First, I am not speaking from experience here, all of the following will be based purely on (more or less flawed) reasoning. I have only had sex once, and am thus not very experienced.

Second, parts of this may be recieved as controversial, but this is purely a thought experiment and not meant to portray an opinion of any sort in any way.

This is all based on a thought that suddenly struck me. I pondered it for a bit, and then ran with it. This is the result of that.

Right, let's get on with it.

Lasting a long time during sex is usually seen as a good thing, yes? The "one-minute man" is often made fun of due to popping his cork too early.

But let's look at the animal kingdom. For the most part, it seems that mating is a very brief activity. There are exceptions of course, such as the (domesticated) pig that orgasms for 30 minutes. I do not know if wild boars share this trait with their domesticated relatives. For the most part though, at least for predators, mating has to be finished quickly because the animal(s) are vulnerable to attack during the act.

My understanding is that lasting for a long time during sex is a skill that needs to be honed, or perhaps a trained reflex. Humans are predators as well, judging from our eyes: I think it's the case that most (land-based?) predators have both eyes placed on the front of their faces for proper depth-perception. Thus, a "basic" or untrained human would probably not "last long" since needing a long time to orgasm would be a liability in the dangerous wild. Is it not also the case that young, inexperienced men pop their corks a tad too quickly?

To clarify, we're talking about the male animal or human here. We'll get to the women in a bit.

Sex is a pleasurable act, no?

If we are to look at it in a coldly mechanical way, this is most likely to motivate animals to get on with their "genetic duty", that is to say to spawn progeny. If we experience something that feels good we want to do it again! Furthermore, when we humans orgasm we are suffused by a cocktail of hormones that have all kinds of nice effects. I am sure that animals experience something similar.

But we're still looking at the male here. What about the females?

This is the controversial bit, I think.

Because, if we look at it from that coldly mechanical perspective again: are female orgasms necessary for pregnancy? I'm afraid that's not the case.

From what I've gathered, women have a harder time reaching orgasm than men. Have we, as a species, then developed the ability to train ourselves to last longer during sex so that we can ensure that women also orgasm?

Is it then the case that lasting a long time during sex is a human construction?

What are your thoughts on this?

To be absolutely clear, I am not assigning value to anything here, I just want to discuss this idea that happened to pop into my head.

Ending disclaimer: this is all not just some far-fetched discussion about my own premature cork-popping. During my only sexual experience I had difficulties reaching orgasm due to what could possibly be the phenomena called "deathgrip". That is to say masturbating with too firm a grip, thus desensitizing your penis. However, the point of this disclaimer is to point out that that is not the focus of this thread.
 

Exbiker

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I think there is indeed something true in your suggestion...

If we were just biological bodies, pure and simple, there would be some pressure to do it fairly quickly. Which would be inherited...

But. The thing is, we are also minds. Embedded in the human culture. And its societies ...

When sex becomes a pleasurable recreation, and not just a means of reproduction, there will be some desire to share that pleasure for as long a time as possible ...
 
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D_Anne_T_Freeze

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Just wanted to say that in recent years the female orgasm has been proven to increase chances of fertilization. During orgasm the neck of the cervix dips down into the vagina and therefore dips into the semen. As for the rest, well Exbiker is right. We have minds and emotions that need to be fulfilled too, not just horny thoughts. Don't get me wrong, the minute man is not someone i'm looking for however the hours and hours man is equally dull and annoying. I think men make themselves last too long because they think if they don't they'll be laughed at by women. they seem to think that they can't claim manhood unless the woman has a firey vagina after sex or is walking like John Wayne. It's not the case. I hope you get some other responses. I'm interested in hearing them myself.
 

Incocknito

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It's situational. Sometimes you and your partner might want a 'longy' (lol). or you might want a quicky (as in 5-15 mins).

Depending on your size some women will get sore after a time so you want to avoid that.

In my experience most girls enjoy if you can orgasm at the same time or generally in a reasonable amount of time (5-10 minutes of penetration seems the sweet spot).

Female orgasm is not required for conception and actually doesn't happen all that often on an individual basis just from penetration.

A lot of the 'lasting longer' is a myth created by porn. Edits in porn make it look like they go for ages but in reality they are in a position for maybe five or ten minutes at a time. For the best sex you should aim to cum between 5 and ten minutes, after you get each other really horny.
 

Incocknito

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Well more like 10 mins to half an hour. Otherwise you get the "are you gonna cum yet?", "are you close?" etc.

Generally anyway but like you said everyone is different. Plus for me sometimes it gets boring just pounding away. Unless she's a squirter but they don't make many of those.
 

boatnik

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When I'm on stage or filming, staying hard a long time before cumming is mandatory, so I've trained to be able do that. However, that has a negative impact on my normal love life. Most women have no interest in sucking or fucking for more than a half hour, so I actually have to concentrate on releasing sooner.
 
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I question why nature/evolution decided it needed two sexes to survive in the first place. Would the world be a less dangerous place if one being contained the organs and functions to create and rearing life without the need for sex with another, for one animal to choose a safe time when it became pregnant? Maybe two different species was the purpose for preventing over population. Before saying the male species was for protection, it would be no different for one species. Maybe it was so the gene pool would be mixed for the species to have two separate sexes.

It must have been twice as complicated for evolution to create two different sexes instead of one for the purpose of continuing life. I suppose there is more to it than just continuing the species.

Maybe at one time female orgasm was neccessary for conception, but evolved not to be, for some reason or other?
 
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Lol it's all for genetic variation. Biology 101

Be happy cause otherwise a genetic disease would have killed us all awhile ago.

:) Yes, it's amazing what we learn from books. It's usually the stuff not in them that gets me thinking.
 

sbat

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Just keep in mind that the explanations of why come after we find a description for how something is. So for example, we make observations about human sexuality, then create stories for why we evolved into the way we are. Speaking anecdotally, my first several time with a woman I did not orgasm/ejaculate at all, my orgams was not a topic of conversation, and it had no bearing on our relationship dynamic. It just didn't matter at all. Likewise for the first time I came in under 30 seconds, or any time after that.
 

Zorgolio

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Just wanted to say that in recent years the female orgasm has been proven to increase chances of fertilization. During orgasm the neck of the cervix dips down into the vagina and therefore dips into the semen.

I did not know that, but it doesn't surprise me. Thanks for the information!

Speaking anecdotally, my first several time with a woman I did not orgasm/ejaculate at all, my orgams was not a topic of conversation, and it had no bearing on our relationship dynamic. It just didn't matter at all. Likewise for the first time I came in under 30 seconds, or any time after that.

You mean to say that your complete lack of orgasms during sex failed to elicit any response at all from your partner? That sounds stone cold, man.
 

Silvertip

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The primary component here is that the human being is one of a very few animals that copulate for pleasure, and do so day in and day out. Other primates do as well, but most animals only fuck once or twice a year and then purely for procreation. We, on the other hand, do it for pleasure and that means it's imperative that the act be pleasurable to both genders. In our case it goes way beyond survival of the species.
 

sbat

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I did not know that, but it doesn't surprise me. Thanks for the information!



You mean to say that your complete lack of orgasms during sex failed to elicit any response at all from your partner? That sounds stone cold, man.

More like it wasn't a topic of conversation and it didn't create any weird tension. Turns out she was so used to minute men that it made me seem like I had a lot of control over myself.
 

Guill

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Props to Zorg for coming up with a well reasoned argument for a theoretical discussion. As points to consider in the animal world:
Polar bears that mate every few hours over the course of a few days
Lions that mate up to a couple hundred times in one mating period
Wolves or heyennas (don't remember which) where the penis is physically stuck in the female for a period of time after sex
Bonobos chimps that have a matriarchial society where sex is used for most interactions both positive and negative and both herosexually and homosexually.

I guess from a recent evolutionary standpoint we can place lasting longer on sexual selection rather than exeternal natural pressures. If a female is more likely to stay with a mate if she also has pleasure which is achieved by him lasting longer than that trait/ability would be selected for as he is more likely to mate repeatedly.
 

hugeJT

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I find that the longer I can last then the quicker I can be ready to start again, for example if I last at least 1 hour, I am ready to fuck again in just a few minutes.