Lasting Longer

[NorthWestStud]

Any tips for lasting longer, I feel I have been letting the gf down lately! Truth be told my mom died a couple months ago and it has been impacting my performance and drive

 

[scotch_guy]

If you're still grieving and are not in the mood, there is nothing wrong with saying that.

If you still want to and you want to last longer, think of something else during sex. In the past, baseball worked for me.

 

[halcyondays]

Here are a few techniques that work for me.

1. Don't move. I'm big so I'm almost always underneath at first letting someone slide on me in their own good comfortable time. They move, I don't. The less I move the longer I last. If I'm on top I don't pump my hips. Specifically I don't squeeze my butt muscles when I thrust. I thrust by moving my whole body. I go slow.

2. Masturbation before meeting a date. If I get the first quick come out of the way I always last longer second, third and fourth time if we go that long. Some partners like to be part of the first quick orgasm, eg by oral, as part of foreplay before we start coupling later on. That's fine, too.

3. When I get close I stop moving for a while till I calm down. This delays orgasm. Relaxing and breathing deeply helps. If my partner wants to keep moving that's fine unless it's going to make me come. Then I'll communicate that I'm going to come if they keep moving. This works well because we can take turns moving.

4. I'm not a one-and-done guy. If I do come quickly I know I'll get hard again after a rest--a refractory period--of ten or fifteen minutes. Until then kissing, caressing, massaging and going down on a partner continues to pleasure them until I'm ready to go again.

I'm not in it primarily for my orgasm but theirs.

Communication is important. Both ways.

Hope this helps.

 

[NorthWestStud]

Thanks for the advice

 

[Alex22876]

Any tips for lasting longer, I feel I have been letting the gf down lately! Truth be told my mom died a couple months ago and it has been impacting my performance and drive

I’m sorry for your loss. That is just shitty.

are you having trouble staying hard from the thoughts or are you cumming too fast?

I have to say, for me, a couple things that helped:
1) cum more often. It is kind of like Something About Mary. If you have had a build up, even if you aren’t consciously aware of it, it is going to increase the thoughts and feelings around cumming. It happened to me the other night, I had not jerked or cum or anything in more than a week (family trip/no privacy). We got home and had sex and I just couldn’t hold it back. The urge came out of no where, which leads me to my second point
2) cum and go for round 2. As I said above, I couldn’t hold it, so I filled her with cum and I just stayed hard and kept fucking. Staying hard (rigid) might not be an option for you, but even a semi will turn back into a hard on in a couple minutes of fucking. The initial hormone recharge feeling goes away after a couple of minutes. Once the anxiety of cumming is removed and you don’t care if you cum because you can go again, the pressure of the first orgasm reduces and you start to feel like pressure to begin with.
3) I pull the old change you thoughts. I will switch to golf thoughts or what I have to do tomorrow. You know, the old move.

good luck! We have all been there and the worse it gets, the worse it gets! It is compounding.