Lastly, a question for everyone

[Phil Ayesho]

I It is one thing for a straight friend to say "Nice abs, man" compared to a gay guy going "Hmm, lookin' hot." Don't hit on me--its not cool.

Grow up.

If you are fit and lean and male, then you probably are sexually attractive.
To women, sure... and to gay men.

If gay men hit on you take it as a compliment.

If you can't bear to be attractive to men.... let yourself go... its a lot of work to keep fit....pudgy soft men very rarely get hit on by gay men.

But don't tell me its not cool to be found attractive by ANYBODY.


By and large, Gay men only rape you if you ask them nicely.

 

[Beanie]

and the quote of the day goes to phil ayesho for

Gay men only rape you if you ask them nicely.

 

[fun30013]

42 and don't give a rats ass about what anyone thinks. Like it has been said - We are a gay couple of 12 years..(lasting longer than most Hetro) Have homes, cars, and bills. We work, we save, we live and we give....Holy Shit....its an American Couple with two dicks rather a dick and a pussy...

 

[Stephenmass]

fun,

I agree completely with you; guess I kind of stole the thread a bit because I made it about the Pride Parade. That is the message that we should be sending to those outside the community, WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU messages.

Instead, we send messages of segments that are in gay culture yes, leather, drag queens, whatever. They don't really represent me at all. I don't judge them at all myself, maybe because as a gay man I can admittedly "semi" understand it. If I only semi understand, how about the 100% straight guy, how much do you think he understands? Most of them I'd say not much at all. He sees more or less "wtf is all this leather about?", that's f'n weird or "guys that dress as girls" etc. He doesn't understand the messages (frankly, some of them I don't either!).

Last thing I'll say on this subject is the "in your face" types I don't like either. It's too strong. Sometimes I think, especially with more acceptance now than before, I think we need to show them we are, in fact, just like them. Productive, caring, nurturing, all of the things good men are, gay or straight (same applies to women too, sorry that I am masculizing (is that a word?) it).

The message if I remember right for the parade this year was "Unity" and/or "Families". Those were the parts of the parade that showed a positive segment of our culture, but in my view feel it gets dampened by the other "mixed messages".

 

[deleted298367]

I'm bi. I tend to drift towards the gay side more often. I really have a "F*ck society" attitude when it comes to this, I'm not sure what it resulted from. I think it was cause the guy I was with was afraid of what people would think so I had to be the strong one. =P

I don't know why I like guys. So I can't really expect any heteros to understand why I do either.
Some challenges? Hiding the truth from everyone. I'm not ready to 'out' myself yet. So until then, I have to watch what I say, and I really don't have anyone to talk to when I have issues (3 people know).
I'm not gonna lie, 'flaming' homosexuals kinda scare me. Nor do I like overly butch/S&M type guys. I don't mean to make this a biography. :tongue: I don't like any specific body type; I'm more of a mentally attached person and I judge If I like a guy by our chemistry (for the most part ).
I'm also not exactly for gay adoption. I just couldn't make some kid have two dads. And I'm not sure about marriage. Never really thought about it. But I don't see it being an issue for me anytime soon.

The only thing I don't understand with perfectly straights: How do I know if you're homophobic? Do I introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Josh. I'm Bi."? I don't really want to do that but I also don't want to lose a friend over something so ridiculous. Maybe its just me. :dunno:

 

[MuscledHorse]

The term 'homosexual' mainly has associations from the period in which we were considered to be psychopathic, it is not much better than the previous term, sodomite.

To the 'straight' guys who whine about being hit on by gay guys, 'if I had a nickel for every time I have been hit on by a guy who claims to be 100% straight'. Many of you want to enjoy your straight privileges in public, but privately be serviced by a guy.

To the 'butch' gay guy ashamed by more flamboyant gays and pride parades, you should be thanking those who probably exhibit more courage and pride than you, and have done more work.
I am on the local Prideweek organizing committee, it is a lot of work and expense. It is done for your benefit as well, even if you don't appreciate it.

You are mistakenly equating effeninacy with pride and this is simply not the case. Everyone who works with me knows I'm gay--it's no secret. Hell, I escorted when I was in school and I love a good (safe) sex party. I am also not "ashamed" of queeny guys, just annoyed by them. Nor am I ashamed of pride parades as I have attended them in the past...however, I fully believe the time for the NEED of a pride parade definately has passed. This is not the Regan era Aids-is-god's-judgement-on-the-fags-so-we-should-tattoo-them-for-public-health-and-safety* 1980's, this is the post Will & Grace 21st century. A huge chunk of large corporations give domestic partner benefits and gay marriage has gained solid ground (while, sadly, so too has gay divorce). Even the latest polls show the overwhelming majority of Americans don't really care if you are in the military and openly gay. At this point in time there is really nothing further to be gained by pride parades save for the excuse for another party. It's time for the gay community to move on to other things. I for one would be thrilled if the gay community could find other means of getting together that doesn't involve bars, drag shows, high quantites of cigarettes and alcohol and skimpy outfits you'd never normally wear out.

* AIDS as Gods judgement of the gays appeared in publications like Jerry Falwell's Moral Majority. The tattoo suggestion was made in 1986 the Senate by Jesse Helms to great outrage from the gay community, though sadly many are now getting the medical biohazard tattoo to "celebrate" the fact hey have HIV.

 

[dc9]

good point stephenmass, and it just confirms what i said earlier, there needs to be more education/less stupidity in my opinion.

This is probably the smartest thing anyone has posted on this site.
This is a support group at it's heart, let's try to remember that, most of us are here to learn and to appreciate people for what they are or want to be.
Remember there are a lot of young guys and girls who come to this site looking for answers or direction.
Thanks to all of you who have posted positive and honest answers here, I applaud you all.
Keep posting.
Take care,
DC

 

[deleted298367]

Remember there are a lot of young guys and girls who come to this site looking for answers or direction.

*Raises hand*

I'm not gonna lie. This site is awesome; I've been down in the dumps lately and reading about people with similar situations and ones that can help with mine. =D That was bad english. But I think the point got across. =)

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

ickday, wanna bang some notes out of me??:wink:

 

[deleted298367]

Of course. :biggrin1:

 

[Dave NoCal]

I must say, Beanie. You really seem to be finding your voice!
Dave

 

[Stephenmass]

"Hi, I'm Josh. I'm Bi."? I don't really want to do that but I also don't want to lose a friend over something so ridiculous. Maybe its just me.

No, simply "Hi, I'm Josh." I think is perfectly fine. Just because you are bi, doesn't mean you want to rip the clothes off every guy you see obviously. I would never introduce myself as gay, or in your case bi, any more than they would say "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm straight." You are the SAME as them.

Tho admittedly, every now and then you meet a guy, whether he is bi, straight, gay, whatever that I'd like nothing more than to rip their clothes off!! No different than a straight guy that sees a woman he'd love to get to know a LOT better in my opinion!!

 

[deleted298367]

Tho admittedly, every now and then you meet a guy, whether he is bi, straight, gay, whatever that I'd like nothing more than to rip their clothes off!! No different than a straight guy that sees a woman he'd love to get to know a LOT better in my opinion!!

Amen.

 

[D_MarquisDeSodOff]

I didn't take the time to read this whole thread but some of it. The one thing that bugs me is why some people think this was a choice, and it's been said before. I can't imagine anybody choosing to be ridiculed and possibly homeless because their friends and family dont like this one thing about them.

And another thing, I really like holding hands in public, but it rarely happens because IT"S SCARY. I don't know what people might do. I know people dont like it so I don't do it, even though that would just make my day to be able to walk down the street holding my boyfriends hand.

This being said, I realize times are changing, and that most people on this site at least are very cool with different sexuality, so this message might not have the effect it should. But, It's better to be vulgar than non-existant, correct?

 

[B_Hung Jon]

My gay/Lesbian friends say that the weirdest thing for them in grammar school is not being acknowledged by the school, society and our culture. Of course there's the terrible homophobia too, but the reality is that they only get one side of the story (meet someone of the opposite sex, settle down, get married & have kids). The values that are presented and explained are those of heterosexuals. It must be hard to never hear about how you can fall in love or be attracted to the same sex in every day life. That paradigm is never presented to children or teenagers.

 

[deleted298367]

And another thing, I really like holding hands in public, but it rarely happens because IT"S SCARY. I don't know what people might do. I know people dont like it so I don't do it, even though that would just make my day to be able to walk down the street holding my boyfriends hand.

I agree. My friend and I used to hold hands when nobody was around. lol. Or what about being in a movie? Everyone loves making out in movies. There were several occasions that we'd sit in the top row (we always got there early) and there'd be a couple on both sides of us making out and we couldnt because we were afraid/didnt want to gross them out or anything. :tongue:

 

[BigLittleMan]

as a gay man to straight men:

i don't want to have sex with you.
talking about your sex life with your wife/girlfriend isn't sexy, it's creepy.
no, your flirting with me isn't funny, it's creepy.
i probably know as much as (if not more than) the average guy about cars, sports, construction, etc.
i don't want to have sex with you.
be careful what you say around whom. that "good guy" you just told a fag joke too just might kick your sorry ass.

as a gay man to straight women:

no, my "showing it" to you is not ok.
my being gay does not make us "girlfriends."
talking about your periods/discharges/etc. is disgusting.
no, thank you, i do not want to see your tits, ass, vagina, etc.
no, i don't want to "just try it."
your vagina has no power over me--respect is something to be earned.

 

[Stephenmass]

The ONLY time I felt totally free as a gay man was on a gay cruise. You already know beforehand that everyone on the ship is gay. It's the one time (it only lasted a week damn it!) that I was able (we were able) to be our true selves. We could hold hands walking the deck. We could kiss in the back of the boat. We could have but didn't make out in the movie theater if we wanted to, damn it it was like there was no difference for a week that I was gay. For just that price alone, the cruise was very worth it!

 

[Beanie]

ahaha thanks Dave NoCal i think so too =] im really getting into this site recently =]

i think that there is a similar thread of opinions of the gay men posting here which is good to see because it means that if we are all on the same page, or nearly on the same page then we basically want the same things so we can all work on that to progress further.

 

[AllHazzardi]

Thank you all for your responses so far, the more views and opinions I can get on these subjects, the better.