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Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by pervasiveone, Aug 21, 2010.
Not mine.. it scares me.... Don't know whether to laugh or cry
Is My Husband GAY? | ChristWire
Ok...I sort of have to laugh at this. Only because it is so disturbing that some of the things they list. Frequent trips to Asia? I guess I missed that in the Gay Manual they gave me when I came out. Along with my free toaster.
Some of those are a little ridiculous I think (saying this as a Christian).
The "list of 15 commonly-accepted characteristics of men struggling with homosexuality within a marriage" is good for some laughs, or at least some derisive exclamations of "Hah!"
PORN IS FOR FAGS?!! Uh-oh!
Hmm. For some reason, "gay" was not the first explanation that that suggested to me.
What is this, Seinfeld? Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Uh-oh, got me again!
All I can do is laugh, what utter drivel, this is how you can tell:tongue:
What a crock of s#%&
Wow, all those suggestions and not a single mention about the buttplug in the shoebox under the bed in the spare room....
They also missed the part where my sister...*cough* I mean, "the wife" finds a mega stash of gay male magazines, confronts the husband and blames me, er, I mean "the 15 year old sister". Oh, and the whole "Honey, I'm sorry I gave you crabs and it's all Ralph's fault because he didn't tell me he had them and I borrowed a pair of his underwear" shtick.
The author is actually somewhat behind the times, in addition to being a paranoid homophobe in general: in point of fact, most gay men in my acquaintance shy away from over-grooming, cologne and manscaping. But maybe I just spend too much time with leathermen and bears :redface:
Also the first bit:
When I'm in the presence of someone whom I care about, I frequently avoid the phone out of deference, and websurfing is, by its very nature, a solitary activity: you cannot give someone your undivided attention and be on the computer at the same time.
The comments section is priceless, BTW.
There is so much wrong with that article I won't touch it...including it's use of syntax, spelling and basic grammar.
I think if you read it back in a Dan Ackroyd circa 1980's Saturday Night Live sketch (let's say French and Saunders for us Anglophiles) it will probably have just the right amount of irony attached it. Try it...
Otherwise what a load of tosh...over here it's the straight boys that are fond of a pair of skinny jeans...that...and the crystal meths users...
...Oh and what a complete waste of money traveling to Asia for a sauna jaunt...You can head into Covent Garden for twelve quid!??! D'oh?!?!
The website is satire. Check some of the articles on the main page.
About The Author-
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: Stephenson@Christwire.org !
Ummm.. Sounds like a pretty, well, GAY hobby to me.
So many high points, including:
um . . . wouldn't he have better odds in the homosexual "world"?
Oh yeah! Forget Craigslist and Manhunt. Let's all head to Bible Study!!! LOL!
Does your man have dry skin Nevermind, real men are flakey slobs.
Or possibly a sign he's had a good, hard workout (okay, no pun intended).
Also, maybe he's just not in the mood to hear you whine, bitch or pray to Jesus.
hmmm . . . do ya think this chick is a little repressed?
Or just maybe you're not wet enough. Or maybe he's kinda bored with the whole missionary thing.
(Okay, pun intended).
P.S. "Intercourse methods"? Seriously?? Yeah baby, let's try out some "traditional intercourse methods". Maybe we can 'procreate' while we're at it, that is if God's watching us fuck and decides to 'bless us with child'.
Who knew scarves were expensive, much less gay? I sure didn't, did you? Seriously, who 'exchanges scarves'? Is that like a secret promise ring?
"Oh you go, Sister Mary Girlfriend, flap those flippers! . . . . . and God bless."
'Will and Grace' didn't make the gay icon list? Well, I never! Anyhoo, "genuine heterosexual men" only watch the Outdoor channel and Fox "news". Never football, those crotch grabbing uniforms are too gay, not to mention the butt slaps. Better yet, they shoot their televisions and then take off to hunt large animals, or they go homo-free truck bogging.
I'd be more worried if he wore a speedo to Bible Study.
Gel? What gel? Are we talking hair gel here? Surely that right there encapsulates everything on the list.
Seriously, who needs this list?
Here's the simple, foolproof test of whether your husband is gay: His dick tastes like shit.
Yes it is. And very fine satire at that.
What a pity Mrs. Salvatore Romano (Mad Men) never saw this:
(I looked for but did not find the scene in which he acts out the female character of a television commercial for her.)
Calm down everyone. It's a joke.
You mean that whole site is a poe?
Yeah, must be a poe.
Ugh. Sites like this make my skin crawl. One of the links blamed "the Golden Girls" for the state of the family in America. Total morons.
D'oh! I feel like a moron myself now. It's just that that site is so close the real thing that it could easily be, but upon further reading, I see it's parody. Too close form comfort!