Laugh or Cry?? -- 12 signs your husband may be gay

[pervasiveone]

Not mine.. it scares me.... Don't know whether to laugh or cry

Is My Husband GAY? | ChristWire

 

[runningwoof]

Ok...I sort of have to laugh at this. Only because it is so disturbing that some of the things they list. Frequent trips to Asia? I guess I missed that in the Gay Manual they gave me when I came out. Along with my free toaster.

 

[D_Evita_Zane]

Some of those are a little ridiculous I think (saying this as a Christian).

 

[Calboner]

The "list of 15 commonly-accepted characteristics of men struggling with homosexuality within a marriage" is good for some laughs, or at least some derisive exclamations of "Hah!"

1) Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers
Porn addiction is closely associated with homosexuality and a secretive nature implies he’s trying to hide something from you

PORN IS FOR FAGS?!! Uh-oh!

3) Feigning attention in church and prayer groups
Have you noticed a lack of interest in spiritual issues?

Hmm. For some reason, "gay" was not the first explanation that that suggested to me.

4) Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home
Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell. Homosexuals often abhor this sort of thing and will also be incredibly particular about the cleanliness of the home

What is this, Seinfeld? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

5) Gym membership but no interest in sports

Uh-oh, got me again!

 

[HiddenLacey]

The "list of 15 commonly-accepted characteristics of men struggling with homosexuality within a marriage" is good for some laughs, or at least some derisive exclamations of "Hah!"

PORN IS FOR FAGS?!! Uh-oh!
Hmm. For some reason, "gay" was not the first explanation that that suggested to me.
What is this, Seinfeld? Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Uh-oh, got me again!

All I can do is laugh, what utter drivel, this is how you can tell:tongue:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsvvriKI3qE

 

[tlbuncut5]

What a crock of s#%&

 

[mitchymo]

Wow, all those suggestions and not a single mention about the buttplug in the shoebox under the bed in the spare room....

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

Wow, all those suggestions and not a single mention about the buttplug in the shoebox under the bed in the spare room....

They also missed the part where my sister...*cough* I mean, "the wife" finds a mega stash of gay male magazines, confronts the husband and blames me, er, I mean "the 15 year old sister". Oh, and the whole "Honey, I'm sorry I gave you crabs and it's all Ralph's fault because he didn't tell me he had them and I borrowed a pair of his underwear" shtick.

 

[Bbucko]

The author is actually somewhat behind the times, in addition to being a paranoid homophobe in general: in point of fact, most gay men in my acquaintance shy away from over-grooming, cologne and manscaping. But maybe I just spend too much time with leathermen and bears :redface:

Also the first bit:

1) Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers
Porn addiction is closely associated with homosexuality and a secretive nature implies he’s trying to hide something from you. Be on the lookout for a man who doesn’t want to web surf or answer phone calls in your presence. Texting is another favorite trick used by adulterers. For the sake of trust, a married couple should share everything, including phone logs, email accounts, chat friends and website histories.

When I'm in the presence of someone whom I care about, I frequently avoid the phone out of deference, and websurfing is, by its very nature, a solitary activity: you cannot give someone your undivided attention and be on the computer at the same time.

The comments section is priceless, BTW.

 

[arthur]

There is so much wrong with that article I won't touch it...including it's use of syntax, spelling and basic grammar.

I think if you read it back in a Dan Ackroyd circa 1980's Saturday Night Live sketch (let's say French and Saunders for us Anglophiles) it will probably have just the right amount of irony attached it. Try it...

Otherwise what a load of tosh...over here it's the straight boys that are fond of a pair of skinny jeans...that...and the crystal meths users...

 

[arthur]

...Oh and what a complete waste of money traveling to Asia for a sauna jaunt...You can head into Covent Garden for twelve quid!??! D'oh?!?!

 

[xperseusx]

The website is satire. Check some of the articles on the main page.

 

[cdunstan1]

About The Author-
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: Stephenson@Christwire.org !

Ummm.. Sounds like a pretty, well, GAY hobby to me.

 

[maxcok]

Hilarious!!!

So many high points, including:

Maybe he’s just using you as unwitting cover as he seeks playmates in the heterosexual world.

um . . . wouldn't he have better odds in the homosexual "world"?

Does it ever seem as if he’s just using church as an excuse to spend time around young men?

Oh yeah! Forget Craigslist and Manhunt. Let's all head to Bible Study!!! LOL!

Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell. Does your man . . . use face moisturizers?

Does your man have dry skin Nevermind, real men are flakey slobs.

If your man returns from the gym too exhausted to talk or have sex, that is a worrisome sign.

Or possibly a sign he's had a good, hard workout (okay, no pun intended).
Also, maybe he's just not in the mood to hear you whine, bitch or pray to Jesus.

Gay men don’t need words to communicate their availability for sex “hook ups.” They silently broadcast the news by showing off their lean, hard bodies . . .

hmmm . . . do ya think this chick is a little repressed?

If there is a sudden interest in . . . lubricants, . . . or other non-traditional intercourse methods, this is clearly an indication of deep emotional abnormalities.

Or just maybe you're not wet enough. Or maybe he's kinda bored with the whole missionary thing.
(Okay, pun intended).

P.S. "Intercourse methods"? Seriously?? Yeah baby, let's try out some "traditional intercourse methods". Maybe we can 'procreate' while we're at it, that is if God's watching us fuck and decides to 'bless us with child'.

Do they exchange expensive, personal gifts like scarves or cologne?

Who knew scarves were expensive, much less gay? I sure didn't, did you? Seriously, who 'exchanges scarves'? Is that like a secret promise ring?

In a sense, he has “let his hair down” and this will be seen in excessive back talk and speaking with one’s hands.

"Oh you go, Sister Mary Girlfriend, flap those flippers! . . . . . and God bless."

Gossip websites, Glee and The Golden Girls are three well-documented icons of the gay movement that genuine heterosexual men avoid.

'Will and Grace' didn't make the gay icon list? Well, I never! Anyhoo, "genuine heterosexual men" only watch the Outdoor channel and Fox "news". Never football, those crotch grabbing uniforms are too gay, not to mention the butt slaps. Better yet, they shoot their televisions and then take off to hunt large animals, or they go homo-free truck bogging.

Does he wear a speedo at the beach?

I'd be more worried if he wore a speedo to Bible Study.

Is there a strange odor about him when he returns, some strange mix of cigarettes and gel?

Gel? What gel? Are we talking hair gel here? Surely that right there encapsulates everything on the list.

Seriously, who needs this list?
Here's the simple, foolproof test of whether your husband is gay: His dick tastes like shit.

The website is satire.

Yes it is. And very fine satire at that.

 

[Calboner]

What a pity Mrs. Salvatore Romano (Mad Men) never saw this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbUncUTnAhg

(I looked for but did not find the scene in which he acts out the female character of a television commercial for her.)

 

[D_y6gouyg]

Calm down everyone. It's a joke.

 

[Calboner]

Calm down everyone. It's a joke.

You mean that whole site is a poe?

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Yeah, must be a poe.

 

[jockmaestro]

Not mine.. it scares me.... Don't know whether to laugh or cry

Is My Husband GAY? | ChristWire

Ugh. Sites like this make my skin crawl. One of the links blamed "the Golden Girls" for the state of the family in America. Total morons.

 

[jockmaestro]

Not mine.. it scares me.... Don't know whether to laugh or cry

Is My Husband GAY? | ChristWire

D'oh! I feel like a moron myself now. It's just that that site is so close the real thing that it could easily be, but upon further reading, I see it's parody. Too close form comfort!