Laura Ongaro on why women cheat

Thirdlegproduction

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In my experience, the women that cheated with me that I talked to that is, got into a relationship or marriage just to be in one, it was expected of them mostly by social pressure and it benefited them greatly but they lacked intimacy and with it good sex.
They wanted to be teased and admired and made to feel sexy and wanted.

This certainly doesn't hold true for all cheating people, but I saw a recurring pattern.
People getting into relationships for the wrong reasons.

And some people are just utterly weird, I myself am pretty comfortable with the idea of an open relationship and two of the girls I've been with, said very clearly NO to that idea.
They ended up cheating on me anyway.

So that makes me believe it has something to do with breaking rules as well, doing something forbidden.
 

HiddenLacey

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I think it's plausible because when I test it by asking my women friends IRL who are over 40 like me, they say that it rings true in their and their friend's experiences.

To start to dismantle her theory, I would expect to hear some women saying, I was married for ten plus years and had two kids and at no time did I lose the lust and love for my husband that lead me to marry him in the first place. The next question then has do be, so why did it fail?

I know that there are loads of reasons why marriage fails (and why they don't fail), she is looking at just one reason and I have heard of her theory being that reason or a major contributing factor. I have seen Ongaro's point about reassessing your life at certain Bdays as well for that matter.



Ahhh, not being over 40 and unmarried, my opinion is null.

I've felt the same way about marriage since I was 16, every year I get older and the only thing that I see differently in life is that people generally suck. Everyone is swayed by bias and hatred, the world is a real crap place. However, I refuse to conform because I'm told too. If I let everyone else's opinion/ theory form my thoughts about life, there's a good chance I'd be on your side, but I'm not. I try to believe in the good in people, the good in relationships, the idea that marriage means more than someone's theory can possibly provide.

Believe what you will, I never had any desire to "dismantel her theory," only to share my opinion and beliefs.
 
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Thirdlegproduction

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I think the sources are pretty accurate but one should decide for themselves what holds true or what not.

It is not a holy bible or the best work in the world but I agree that many men and women are ignorant in relationships and works like these should be able to give people the tools and knowledge on how to deal with this ignorance.

If anything it will help me recognising patterns that will lead up to cheating and I can hopefully stop it from ever happening again.
 

ManlyBanisters

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Why shouldn't they be, I have been.

You read what you wanted to read in my response. I never said I took exception to the anger, I only expressed distaste at the proposed solution. You have a closed mind on this, Drifter, there's no point talking to you.
 

Drifterwood

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Perhaps latent and threatening then.

So, if you have nothing else to add to this thread about honesty in the face of evolutionary biology theory, nothing to say from personal experience, nothing regarding women's research on the subject, thank you for your contribution.
 

Drifterwood

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Perhaps you should follow your own advice and be honest enough to see that from the beginning of this thread you have you have been deliberately disruptive and aggressive to anyone wishing to respond with a view that you don't like.

You didn't add anything. Thanks.

PS - there is a great debate going on Dan Savage Versus Monogamy - NYTimes.com this is not my view, but again I find it interesting that opponents of our evolutionary biology having an influence on us, make assumptions as to what we think this will lead to without the construct of monogamy. The debate is also very interesting here Nonmonogamy and Feminism: A Happy Couple but I will keep coming back to all the stats that do not support the success of mongamy at the moment. Is that my chip? or is it my position against marriage being underpinned as social monogamy by virtue of being a property contract? Whatever :wink:
 
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