This message may be quite long as i have a lot going through my head as i write this.
I started seeing my boyfriend 2 years ago and we have had a steady relationship that was complete bliss to begin with. We both lived in the same hometown as he was at the college in my hometown. He moved back home with parents and his sister and we decided to try and make a weekend relationship work. This has been the situation for the past year where he would come to me or i would get the train to him. As my profession needs me to sometimes commit to weekends i obviously am found in completely annoying situation as we cant see each other if i work.
Our sex life was always new interesting and fun over the course of our relationship and i felt like i had found someone that gets me through and through. The past 9 months i have noticed that decline.. surely a relationship between 2 guys in early twenties should be booming...
It has turned into me being the one making the effort and making sure he is pleased all the time... sometimes it has been the case that on the only 2 days we seen each other he hasn't made a single attempt at showing me any sexual feelings. When mentioned to him it normally causes a argument and the words 'ill try harder'
This continued and i found myself (sad to say) talking to guys on various webcam sites as they made me feel appreciated for my looks and made me feel wanted..even if it is for one thing.
In the course of me doing that i found myself meeting a guy that nothing sexual happened between us and we exchanged yahoo names and starting to talk through IM. Its been 5 months since i met this guy and we have spoken everyday online and even swapped numbers and talk about everything and anything. This guy is 100% interested in me and has shown great interest in wanting more from me. We arranged to meet up for a few drinks and chill out and stuff for a few days as he was passing through my town. My bf was out of town so i thought 'it couldn't hurt meeting this friend' he knew about me and my bf so he knew the boundaries that were in place.
we hung out got drunk and i stayed at his hotel for a night. We did kiss, which to me signals cheating and disgrace. Ive never cheated on anyone before in my life.
I had the best day and night with my friend and since we already had the past few months of friendship it made everything so much easier. I had never felt so happy or alive with this person. I felt feelings deep inside that i forgot i had and found myself missing him unbearably when he left to go back to the east coast. I am moving across country next year to the east coast for work opportunity and i don't want to have a LDR... i have been in that position before and it did not last long. My bf knows that i have always planned to move away and it was spoke about him coming with me but i want to do this on my own and really get my life into check as i finish my masters degree in june 2013.
Basically i am torn.. i feel like a bad person for thinking the thoughts of breaking up with him as i do love him. I dont know what to do in the sense of this new guy i talk to everyday online and speak to on the phone more then my own partner, who showed me such kindness and exactly what i have been missing from my bf after many many arguments.
Do i come clean and tell him everything?
Even though im not moving till next year should i phase the relationship out before i leave or just end it now to give time for the hearts to heal?
I love my bf yet feel very strong feelings for this very good friend of mine and the feeling is mutual. He is in the direction of my life path whereas i will be leaving the bf as he is staying put.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and reply.
I appreciate it
I started seeing my boyfriend 2 years ago and we have had a steady relationship that was complete bliss to begin with. We both lived in the same hometown as he was at the college in my hometown. He moved back home with parents and his sister and we decided to try and make a weekend relationship work. This has been the situation for the past year where he would come to me or i would get the train to him. As my profession needs me to sometimes commit to weekends i obviously am found in completely annoying situation as we cant see each other if i work.
Our sex life was always new interesting and fun over the course of our relationship and i felt like i had found someone that gets me through and through. The past 9 months i have noticed that decline.. surely a relationship between 2 guys in early twenties should be booming...
It has turned into me being the one making the effort and making sure he is pleased all the time... sometimes it has been the case that on the only 2 days we seen each other he hasn't made a single attempt at showing me any sexual feelings. When mentioned to him it normally causes a argument and the words 'ill try harder'
This continued and i found myself (sad to say) talking to guys on various webcam sites as they made me feel appreciated for my looks and made me feel wanted..even if it is for one thing.
In the course of me doing that i found myself meeting a guy that nothing sexual happened between us and we exchanged yahoo names and starting to talk through IM. Its been 5 months since i met this guy and we have spoken everyday online and even swapped numbers and talk about everything and anything. This guy is 100% interested in me and has shown great interest in wanting more from me. We arranged to meet up for a few drinks and chill out and stuff for a few days as he was passing through my town. My bf was out of town so i thought 'it couldn't hurt meeting this friend' he knew about me and my bf so he knew the boundaries that were in place.
we hung out got drunk and i stayed at his hotel for a night. We did kiss, which to me signals cheating and disgrace. Ive never cheated on anyone before in my life.
I had the best day and night with my friend and since we already had the past few months of friendship it made everything so much easier. I had never felt so happy or alive with this person. I felt feelings deep inside that i forgot i had and found myself missing him unbearably when he left to go back to the east coast. I am moving across country next year to the east coast for work opportunity and i don't want to have a LDR... i have been in that position before and it did not last long. My bf knows that i have always planned to move away and it was spoke about him coming with me but i want to do this on my own and really get my life into check as i finish my masters degree in june 2013.
Basically i am torn.. i feel like a bad person for thinking the thoughts of breaking up with him as i do love him. I dont know what to do in the sense of this new guy i talk to everyday online and speak to on the phone more then my own partner, who showed me such kindness and exactly what i have been missing from my bf after many many arguments.
Do i come clean and tell him everything?
Even though im not moving till next year should i phase the relationship out before i leave or just end it now to give time for the hearts to heal?
I love my bf yet feel very strong feelings for this very good friend of mine and the feeling is mutual. He is in the direction of my life path whereas i will be leaving the bf as he is staying put.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and reply.
I appreciate it
