Leave of Absence.

Bbucko

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If the meds work, take them as prescribed; if they don't then work with your psychiatrist to find something that will.

No one should feel shame about taking medications that make living one's life possible. There have been times in my life when anxiety and panic have completely overwhelmed me like an emotional tsunami. Thankfully these were relatively short-term responses to short-term complications in my life, and the meds (along with goal-oriented and highly competent therapists) got me through them.

As far as work goes, you may not care about being paid, but your employer should have some sort of mechanism to deal with both short- and long-term disability with which to deal with such issues and assure a job when you're fit enough to return. Document everything: all telephone conversations, etc, including date, time and what was discussed.