Lesbian encounter

[big_tits4big_dicks]

Maybe there are homophobic tendencies but I don't see them clearly.

She told me this news at IHOP over breakfast and I was famished but after hearing it,I didn't even eat one morcel and she felt guilty.

Well I'm off to see her in a few mins so hopefully everything'll be ok.

She is not going to share anything else with you, you shut her up. Being 3 moths in, if I were in her shoes, I would break it off. We are not that far in, and if that shocked you I would be terrified of what else would disgust you to the point of loosing your appetite.

 

[dkong8x625]

funny how people differ, I would find this as an extreme turn on.

 

[petite]

It's jealousy and insecurity. Perhaps the OP thinks he can out-male any other man she's had before, but against a woman he's got no superiority.

I would have thought this if he said that he's afraid that she'll break up with him because she really wants to be with a woman, but he made it clear that learning that she has had a lesbian relationship in the past now makes him believe that she'll cheat on him, if she happens to get drunk. Essentially, he isn't so much worried that he can't compete with a woman, he's worried that having had a lesbian relationship in the past means that she's a person of such bad character that if she gets drunk around a lesbian she can't be trusted to keep her pants on. That's homophobic.

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

Hey, Jackford, you've gotten a lot of opinions so far, and here comes another one.

I don't know why you feel the way you do ... jealousy? homophobia? who knows? I don't walk in your shoes so I can't say.

What you feel or think doesn't matter as much as what you do. If you want to keep this relationship going, I'd advise you to be honest and open with her about your thoughts and feelings ... and tell her something like, "I don't know why, but learning you'd been with another woman hit me harder than I thought it would. I'm trying to figure out why, and I don't want this to interfere with our relationship, 'cause we got something good going here."

That is, if you want this relationship to continue ... what do you think, are you up for it?

 

[helgaleena]

I would have thought this if he said that he's afraid that she'll break up with him because she really wants to be with a woman, but he made it clear that learning that she has had a lesbian relationship in the past now makes him believe that she'll cheat on him, if she happens to get drunk. Essentially, he isn't so much worried that he can't compete with a woman, he's worried that having had a lesbian relationship in the past means that she's a person of such bad character that if she gets drunk around a lesbian she can't be trusted to keep her pants on. That's homophobic.

It is. But if it had been a man he might have had the same reaction, or not. OP must explain it better, to us and also to himself.

Phobia is definitely an insecurity, so I am agreeing with you.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Well Ms.Petite,I guess I kind of feel that those "tendencies" could resurface in the future.She has lots of female friends and they are all pretty close and touchy feeling especially while partying/drinking. Maybe it's just paranoia on my part but I feel something's changed now and not for the better.

She fucked dudes before too, and none of them were you. Maybe those tendencies will resurface. She meets men who aren't you every day, sometimes she shakes their hands or hugs them. Get out while you can. :wink:

You have a lot of work to do. Once you get to the root of your discomfort, you will need to find a way to earn back your girl's trust. Right now, you probably couldn't pay her to be vulnerable with you again. That's a lot of damage to fix.

 

[petite]

It is. But if it had been a man he might have had the same reaction, or not. OP must explain it better, to us and also to himself.

Phobia is definitely an insecurity, so I am agreeing with you.

If he comes back and says that she has been totally celibate for the previous 10 years since that lesbian relationship and that she's never gotten drunk and slept with a man before, then I'd accept that he's not being homophobic. Not that he's justified in believing that it's unacceptable to get drunk and sleep with a lesbian, but at least he wouldn't be applying a nonsensical double standard.

But his description made it sound like he's not only concerned about her "tendencies" towards lesbianism but that he no longer believes she has a good character any more, since he worries she'll be having hot lesbian sex the first time she gets drunk. When his beliefs about her essential character have been affected by learning that she slept with a woman a decade ago, that reeks of some pretty powerful homophobia to me.

 

[D_Edwin Eatser]

My wife has had lesbian experiences for years, an has a couple of long-term girlfriends, from long before we met; she goes for weekends, or away on holiday, with one or the other occasionally. I've no problem with this and know them socially, although not more intimately. It's just sex and friendship, so why worry if your girl likes this fun?

 

[helgaleena]

The OP seems to have fallen silent.