Less attracted to “straight” men.

[dfw051980]

Have any of you guys become less attracted to “straight” men? I feel like I have.
(And this is referring to real life not straight labeled adult content).

Lately when I’m in public spaces and I find a guy that I find attractive, as soon as I determine the guy is indeed straight and not interested in guys at all my attraction goes away. I feel like I’m finally at the age where the chase and the effort is just not worth it for me. The ratio of attractive men who like other men is just to large nowadays and not worth the trouble. Even the overly touchy playful cryptic dudes (i.e. Jacob Elordi character in Saltburn lol) are just not worth the headache and blueballs.

And this idea that “straight” guys have a different vibe is just a lie imo. You can be fully gay and be “masc” or not into typical gay stuff (and too be clear there’s a lot of full gay fem dudes out there who are hot .

DL guys… meh… if one pursued me I might be down but if u aren’t giving the game amount of interest or effort it’s a pass for me.

Thoughts?

 

[bigboaster]

Have any of you guys become less attracted to “straight” men? I feel like I have.
(And this is referring to real life not straight labeled adult content).

Lately when I’m in public spaces and I find a guy that I find attractive, as soon as I determine the guy is indeed straight and not interested in guys at all my attraction goes away. I feel like I’m finally at the age where the chase and the effort is just not worth it for me. The ratio of attractive men who like other men is just to large nowadays and not worth the trouble. Even the overly touchy playful cryptic dudes (i.e. Jacob Elordi character in Saltburn lol) are just not worth the headache and blueballs.

And this idea that “straight” guys have a different vibe is just a lie imo. You can be fully gay and be “masc” or not into typical gay stuff (and too be clear there’s a lot of full gay fem dudes out there who are hot .

DL guys… meh… if one pursued me I might be down but if u aren’t giving the game amount of interest or effort it’s a pass for me.

Thoughts?

You're not alone in this thinking. I've been around reddit and heard this perspective from several guys. But it's certainly a niche position. The opposite seems to be more prevalent (straight man obsession), at least online in spaces like LPSG.

For me I don't really care if a guy is gay, straight or anything else. If he's hot. He's hot. I will only pursue queer men IRL though. This straight chasing crap is total cringe imho.

 

[ILoveGames48]

If I see a guy and like him in that way.. and I find out he is straight . That doesn’t change my mind in getting to know him.. ..

You have to be careful as he may be looking at you same time you’re looking at him. And give mixed signals ..

I have many friends that peaked my interest and ended up being straight and they are more true friends to me than people I’ve known for 30 years ..


Also.. just because he is gay doesn’t mean alright it’s time for sex .. as he may not be interested in you.. he himself may have a certain type

 

[westlonman]

Have any of you guys become less attracted to “straight” men? I feel like I have.
(And this is referring to real life not straight labeled adult content).

Lately when I’m in public spaces and I find a guy that I find attractive, as soon as I determine the guy is indeed straight and not interested in guys at all my attraction goes away. I feel like I’m finally at the age where the chase and the effort is just not worth it for me. The ratio of attractive men who like other men is just to large nowadays and not worth the trouble. Even the overly touchy playful cryptic dudes (i.e. Jacob Elordi character in Saltburn lol) are just not worth the headache and blueballs.

And this idea that “straight” guys have a different vibe is just a lie imo. You can be fully gay and be “masc” or not into typical gay stuff (and too be clear there’s a lot of full gay fem dudes out there who are hot .

DL guys… meh… if one pursued me I might be down but if u aren’t giving the game amount of interest or effort it’s a pass for me.

Thoughts?

To be honest, I find str8 men so damn attractive! I see so many on a daily basis, thinking, if only.........
Yes there are gay or bi guys that are just as hot, but, it's just very hard to be the perfect "what they're looking for" in my opinion.
I have found in the past that str8 guys are easier, (honest) when drunk to let you blow them, than a gay guy! It's the curious side of them, vs. wanna try a gay blowjob. Can write about this for hours, but I'll leave it here for now.

 

[Magnus1998]

I like good looking, confident men. If they're straight, fine. If they are gay, all the better. The psychology around anything other than that... I'm not interested.

 

[malakos]

No, not less. I was never interested in the first place. Not only is it not my own preference, but I find men being sexually interested in heterosexual men rather ridiculous.

 

[trainisom23]

Mine is different. I’m usually more attracted to straight guys than gay guys, and the earliest memory of male attraction (not necessarily because he was straight, he just happened to be a much older straight)…

Now, I’ve read many online accounts explaining that this is internalized homophobia, or that gays should be shamed for pursuing straight men, and then I realized that the most popular gay porn category is still “straight guys” doing it with gays (pornhub 2023 stats). Then come to think of it, the most popular sites Amateur Straight Guys, Corbin Fisher, Randy Blue, Sean Cody – all of them are predominantly featuring straight men. It’s just that we gays grew up around more straight men and that’s just how it is. Now, if you refuse to date gay men, and only exclusively be with straight men, that’s probably a red flag.

That said, I become less attracted to the guys usually when I find more about them and have developed a friendship with them. It’s too awkward for me to pursue them sexually or romantically if I had known them as friends – straight or gay, doesn’t matter. It feels too wrong for some reason, no matter how attractive they are.

 

[Brodie888]

A man's orientation doesn't affect my degree of attraction to them. It doesn't mean that I will act on that attraction however.

There are also a lot of people who call themselves straight who are actually bi though. So you can't judge a book by it's cover.

If someone says they are straight, you basically let them make the first move. That's the only difference.

 

[lesshake]

Shockingly, it's actually possible to find someone attractive without ever intending to fuck them.

 

[8Cylinder]

Interesting points of view, and all (of course) are highly individual perspectives that are valid for the author.

My take on this touches on what I see as a ridiculous premise in society that you must wear a label. It reminds me a bit of fashion, where in the 70's the uniform was predominantly tight, faded Levi 501 button-up shrink to fit jeans, a LaCoste polo in varied pastel colors, and topsider slip-ons with no socks. In summer, the shortest, tightest cutoffs or shorts and alternate "tank top" were the common uniform.

Clones. We're not clones, nor labels.

Arriving at this point in life is not at all different from where I was when 18. No one asked, no one had to claim an identity and no one needed to talk about "gay, bi, straight, curious" though those terms certainly were in use at the time. In the supermarket, on the beach, on the street, you simply sensed the attraction... confirmed by eye contact, and followed up by conversation, an offer to share something... a beer, a cocktail, pizza, dinner, walk... whatever. Sex happened when it did, and quite often.

Only after did I discover that it was their first time, or that they also dated women, were married, repressed military, or whatever the case. It took the stress out of the encounter. It was just two men sensing, exploring, and carrying out some hot interaction.

To me it was a more natural experience than today, where it seems you have to wade through a mass of questions, tick off boxes on an online interview, preview a sea of photos, convince people you're the right choice among others on some application, then make plans. It has really taken the experience down many levels in my opinion.

I would never trade those times for these... some truly rock-my-world connections that developed without defining who where how what why when and if before you even met the person.

 

[tompg]

I just tend to go for the people that i like and see where it goes.

I find younger guys tend to need to define themselves rigidly (classic is we can't do things because i'm straight) more whereas older guys seem to understand that the universe is more shades of grey and will decline because they don't want to cheat or aren't into men.

Probably to do with porn but I find a number of straight defined guys are open to things like anal, rimming and even being pegged. I think ass stuff is now mainstream and no longer a gay only thing too.