lesson learned

[13788]

Dangler: So I thought I would share this to maybe make people think a little more than I did.
I am a 22 year old Toronto resident. I have always been proud of having a relatively big cock, about 8 1/5'' by 5 1/2'', and been sexually active for five years now. I have always found porn with bigger cocks a turn on as well. Over the years I have acted out some of the scenes I have seen in big cock sex, like www.monstersofcock.com etc. without much thought. I kinda thought it was normal. I was using girls left and right and it wasn't until my first bi experience that I woke up. Some girls I have really cared for and cared for their pleasure as well as my own, but most I just fucked. I thought that a making a girl scream was a good thing, making her hurt was sexy. I have made girls gag on my cock, and then pushed it a little further. I have made girls yelp as I bottomed out, and then just fucked harder. And I have pulled out just before she came and jizzed all over her face. I somehow found this attractive.
Althought I consider myself straight, I knew I wanted to try a few things with a guy. Well to be specific, I was turned on by black guys with big cocks. And a few months ago I got my chance. I play on a soccer team and have got to know a very attractive black team mate. I had seen him in the shower and he was just like some of the guys on www.blacksonblondes.com, fit and hung, so I was eyeing him up for a while.
One weekend the team went on a trip to Seatle for a tourney. I was quick to organize the sleeping arangments so I was sharing a room with him. One off night we were watching some porn in the hotel with a few guys in our hotel room. As the night wore on, the others slowly left to go to the clubs and other things. Soon enough it was just the two of us, and we had proceded to make this a jerking session (on seperate beds). His cock was great, probably nine to ten inches, and I was more jerking off with the thought of his cock rather than the porn. I knew he had looked at me a few times so we got into the bisexual conversation and he confided that he was bisexual as well. So to make a long story short, we started to fool around. I got down on my knees as he stood over me and I started to suck him. At first I found it pleasurable, but then he started to fuck my mouth. He was firmly holding my head with both hands and started pushing it down my throat. I was taken aback but was pretty much out of control at this point. He started fucking harder and harder and I was gaging and gasping for breath. After a few minutes I fell back on the bed completely out of air and my throat killing me. Then with out a word, he pushed me over the bed and shoved his cock in my ass. I had never taken a cock in my ass before. It didn't go very far in and I was very painful and I was yelping with every thrust. He was much stronger than I and I was really lightheaded by the previous lack of air. He was soon plunging his cock deeper and deeper. The pain was very sharp and he was soon fucking me very violently. After about five minutes, he pulled out and rolled me over. He jerked off over my face and then blew his load all over my face. He then put his clothes on and zipped up. He was like "well i'll see ya later man" and just left the room for the clubs. Just like nothing out of the ordinary happened.
I am quite embarassed and feel used. But I deserve it I guess. But I learned how to better treat my lover, and I will.

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

This sounds made up to me, but assuming that it isn't....

It seems to me that you should feel raped, not used, because that's what you're describing. If you really feel like you've learned a lesson, is it because you realize that you've been sexually assaulting women, not just using them?

Like I said, you sound a little too nonchalant about this for me to think it's for real.

 

[Simon9]

Ditto, Aloofman. Sounds made up here as well.

But on the chance that it's not, I'm not sure I agree that it's a rape in any case.

He didn't specifically OK anal sex but didn't fight it either or indicate that the other man should stop. And he did agree (in fact desired) a sexual encounter with this guy. So if it didn't go as planned and he feels "used" later, well, 'tough toenails', as they say in France.

HAGWE, y'all.

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

Sorry, but I pretty much agree with ^ and ^^ - it sounds a little fake, but if it is indeed true...that would be rape, not "used"

 

[13788]

kudo451: Wow,
Nice! so the first thing you guys have to say about a possible rape story is that it sounds too made up or that he isn't telling it right? I can't imagine why more victims don't come forward in life....Even if you think its a fake, you might wanna show a little respect on the off hand it isn't. I mean is your ego so fragile that its so important that you show yourself an expert on discernment in this case?

On the other hand I don't think it was rape. But there was a lot of sexual abuse involved brought on by what a lot of guys think of as cool sex simply because they saw some porn star doing it. Sexual abuse is probably a better definition because jumping on the rape bandwagon seems a little insensative to the two guys in the story.

Okay the guy was pretty rough but I didn't hear a "stop" or some other indication that this was going too far. Rough sex and rough guys are a part of life and it is up to their partners and their friends to school them otherwise. That may sound a bit harsh but the guys in this story have got to get feedback on what they do from a better source than a court of law.

 

[ponybilt]

I agree. Sounds more like a sub/dom fantasy than reality.

But, on the off chance... I don't see it as rape, because you didn't tell him to stop. I am not one to blame the victim in any instance. Did he know you were feeling victimized? Did you say it? Did you tell him to stop? Not that you recounted.

Used? Sure. And that's Karma.

 

[MYDEEPTHROAT]

I'm not sure whether it is true or not, but it certainly seems like a typical gay rape fantacy!
As a gay male ... a bit of a size queen myself ... it seems incredibly HOT!
Just the type of scene that would be a Turn On to myself, and others Turned On by SIZE!
It sounds incredibly HOT ... where I'd love to be in his place ... having MYDEEPTHROAT and TIGHT ASS Used & Abused by a Well-Hung Guy ...

What really hurts ... is I'm a Hungry GWM in Toronto who would LOVE to be on the receiving end of a BIG COCK Buried down MYDEEPTHROAT or getting MYTIGHTASS FUCKED ... LONG & HARD!

:wub:

Some guys have all the luck ...

:angry:

 

[hungwitz]

Jeez people.....first thing out of peoples mouths are FAKE . . . Is this a support board or a board for harassment? Please, let's assume that for a moment Dangler was sharing a personal revelation about sex with a big cock....that it just might really make your partner uncomfortable and now that he has experienced how the shoe fits, he is going to be a more considerate partner.

 

[13788]

TripodMillenium: Sorry to hear about this abuse, Dangler... That's pretty rough...


But, as with all of the trials of our lives, it provided a lesson and some more strength inside... At least it sounds so from your last sentence.

Might be a good idea to go to a friend that cares and tell them about it, even if you are vague. I don't imagine feeling used like that is something so easily overcome... And a little support and someone to talk to should help.


And as far as what you learned from this by being on the recieving end... Just keep in mind (if only more people would) that the porn is cheep stuff to just help people blow a wad. One must never model life off it. Caring, communication, and complete consent are important. If rough sex is going to be done, at least talk about it first with your partner to see if he/she is ok with it first. After all, sex should be an enjoyable experience from both sides of the experience.

Good luck with your newly better-informed love life....

 

[Peter Wood]

Originally posted by TripodMillenium@Sep 23 2004, 08:01 AM

But, as with all of the trials of our lives, it provided a lesson and some more strength inside... At least it sounds so from your last sentence.

Might be a good idea to go to a friend that cares and tell them about it, even if you are vague. I don't imagine feeling used like that is something so easily overcome... And a little support and someone to talk to should help.


And as far as what you learned from this by being on the recieving end... Just keep in mind (if only more people would) that the porn is cheep stuff to just help people blow a wad. One must never model life off it. Caring, communication, and complete consent are important. If rough sex is going to be done, at least talk about it first with your partner to see if he/she is ok with it first. After all, sex should be an enjoyable experience from both sides of the experience.

Good luck with your newly better-informed love life....

You wrote down my thoughts Tripod. This should be a supportgroup. I hate it when people say that it is fantasy or fake. Writing down a story like that deserves attention in the good way. The sex was not what Dangler liked. Realizing that in opposite way Dangler does the same to others is a good lesson. No one wants to be fucked in pieces, although pain and pleasure are close.

Others may fantasize about this kind of sex. They must know that - even if the one that is at the other and of their cock is able to say "stop" - violance never makes you a better fucker.

Most of us are "big guys" here. We all know that we can easily hurt our sexpartners. We should take care more, even if the other is turned on by your big instrument. You never know if he/she can handle your dick.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Originally posted by MYDEEPTHROAT@Sep 17 2004, 07:36 PM
I'm not sure whether it is true or not, but it certainly seems like a typical gay rape fantacy!
As a gay male ... a bit of a size queen myself ... it seems incredibly HOT!
Just the type of scene that would be a Turn On to myself, and others Turned On by SIZE!
It sounds incredibly HOT ... where I'd love to be in his place ... having MYDEEPTHROAT and TIGHT ASS Used & Abused by a Well-Hung Guy ...

What really hurts ... is I'm a Hungry GWM in Toronto who would LOVE to be on the receiving end of a BIG COCK Buried down MYDEEPTHROAT or getting MYTIGHTASS FUCKED ... LONG & HARD!

:wub:

Some guys have all the luck ...

:angry:

[post=256410]Quoted post[/post]​

You sure love to use caps for emphasis that's for damn sure.

 

[OhCanada]

I would have to agree with the likes of dikkiedik, TripodMillenium, hungwitz and kudo451. This is supposed to be a support group. I know I wouldn't like to be called a lier when I put my tough times and questions on the line.
Sorry to hear about your experience Dangler, I think that it is very easy to get into a bad situation whne sex is involved because we are so open at that time.

 

[malito]

A sexual relationship is the most fragile and vulnerable situation we can open ourselves to.
I can see by the information that dangler has given us that he went about his relationships as if they were a porn movie. Remember those people are getting paid to do it that way even if they do not like it or it hurts.
Because this is a support group I'm glad to see many of you showing him some support. He was, shall we say, "man handled" and he did not like or enjoy it. According to him he has learned from it. His future relationships should profit from the experience. As has been said before there is SOOOO much more to a loving relationship than sex, though that is an important part.
Dangler have you confronted your team mate? His abuse should be confronted. As a team mate how can he justify the way he treated you?
There is so much more that can be said about this issue. I'm going to end this now and just say I'm glad you have learned from the occation and am sorry you had to endure it.

 

[13788]

Dangler: Well I have to say there where more different types of responses to my post than I thought. I want to thank those who supported me, it really means a lot. I wish to update those who care about steps I have taken after this incident. I simply couldn't approach him about the issue. Mainly because he just went on acting like nothing had happened, but also because I am very embarrassed. I actually quit the team for a fresh start somewhere else next season.
It may seem like I am very nonchalont about the issue, but I really take this as a good thing. I feel I got what I deserved and I see sex in a whole new way. At the time of this incident I was in a downward spiral. I was doing dumb shit and this was the slap in the face I needed. No hard feelings.

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

Dangler, I give people the benefit of the doubt and have no reason to disbelieve your story. As a new poster here, and someone who has spent a little time reading through some threads, let me assure you that your story is at least as believable as some of the stories told by the guys who've been here forever. Some of their lifestories and experiences really don't add up.

That said, it's great that you learned something from this about yourself. More often than not, we tend to transfer negative experiences to others. It's good you've looked inward and questioned your own past behavior. It's time now, though, to move on.

 

[txquis]

To whomever such a thing has happened, and I'll
bet there are lots of guys...
you have my understanding.

The unfortunate part about a sexual experience like this,
that is more scary and uncomfortable than fun,
is how it wrecks your mind for sex.

I actually stayed celibate for almost 4 years after
a similar scenario that i was in.
It taught me to be more careful than most of my friends
are about casual encounters.

 

[madame_zora]

Wow, I'm surprised that a man would treat another man like that. This kind of thing happens to women all the time, guess I just assumed it was a power thing.
The fact that you're able to put things in such clear perspective in terms of how you feel about your own treatment of women in your past speaks well of you, I certainly wish you much fuller and more satisfying relationships in your future. BUT- you have been through a very difficult situation, and feel embarrassed about it. Although it probably would not legally be rape, since you didn't tell him to stop, that doesn't mean you don't need some healing for your feelings about your experience. I would highly recommend talking with a close friend you trust to work through some of your own issues with it lest in your anger they reappear in relationships in ways you wouldn't want them to. Just a thought.

 

[hungthick]

Dangler your sexual encounter with another guy is exactly what you wanted (if i believe this story).

I think you paid someone to come to your room or you picked him up on the street and dont want to admit it. You asked for rough sex and that is what you got. This is why you didnt complain. You WANTED to feel what those women felt when you fucked them.

You know how i know this because this is one of my fantasies. I am NOT rough with anyone though (not intentionally) but I have wondered what it feels like being dominated by a rough fuck. (I will not be acting this one out I like it in my fantasy).

 

[deleted111]

My boyfriend and I have some desires for rough sex. He likes to bite, so do I. He likes to dominate me in the bedroom, I like it. But when it comes to certain types of pain and orgasms. He would never just shoot on my face unless I asked him. There are certain lines we wont cross without the other asking for it.

Nate