Let me introduce myself.

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Apr 4, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    Tachnuk: Hey there all.

    I came across this site while surfing for help for large penised guys.
    I'm 9 inches long and 7inches in circumference.
    It's been very frustrating for me sexually. I've had many girfriends that couldn't handle either my length, girth, or both in some or all positions.
    I've recently gotten married, and it's really gotten bad. My wife must be smaller than average in the vagina. It's very difficult for her to handle my penis in her.
    Insertion takes much foreplay and LOT'S of lubricant. And even then I have to firmly grasp the base and slowly stuff it into her. This is painful to her, but the little angel suffers through it until I can get it all in and get things going. Then I have to move in and out very slowly, and carefully so I don't hurt her. One wrong move and she gasps in pain. After much patience and lots of pushing in slowly, pulling most of the way out, applying more lube to the exposed shaft and sliding back in slowly, I can usually get things going ok. But I still have to be careful of the force and angle to avoid hurting her. All this can be very difficult for me to maintain an erection through. It's really a mood killer to have her yell in pain as I feel more guilty and sympathetic than horny. On top of it I'll she has suffered tearing on occassion and this aside from being very painful, takes 2-3 weeks to heal. which means long periods without intercourse. It's also taken it's toll on my wife. It's starting to give her negative associations with intercourse and having a negative psychological effect. We're both at wit's end. What can we do?
     
  2. Imported

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    Finedessert: Sorry for your problems, but I think it might be better if some of the married men here answer you question. I'm sure that maybe some of them had the same problem when they were first married.

    BUT, In the meantime welcome to the board.

    Grandpa
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Both of you should make an appointment for a consultation with your wife's gynecologist. He can then examine her and make recommendations that may help.

    Doing this together is not necessary but it will show your support to your wife and make it much easier for both of you to make needed adjustments.

    Good luck and welcome to LPSG. Let us know how things are going.

    Pecker
     
  4. Imported

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    H8Monga: Ow! Damn sorry. Well I have a question. Is it that important to fit it all in her? Why is she subjecting herself with pain for trying to do that? It's not necessary for her to "stuff" as you say it into her for her to enjoy herself. Maybe it's something you want instead for your pleasure? I say try not to "stuff" it in her and maybe do a little bit at a time.
     
  5. Max

    Max New Member

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    I'm reasonably well qualified to answer this one as a married guy for over 25 years, and as I am the same thickness as you though I'm an inch or so longer.

    I agree with Pecker about the medical consultation.

    But I also think Hapi has a point. Stop trying to use all your length, or anything like all your length. It sounds to me as if you have taken this far too quickly. A lot of gradual adjustment over time is needed, as well as the foreplay and lube on each occasion you mentioned.

    Start by just inserting the glans very gently. She needs lots of time to adjust to your girth. Don't even begin to increase depth or begin anything more than the smallest movements until you both know she is ready for it. And when you do it, do it very gradually.

    It took months and lots of sex :) for us to reach really deep penetration. And even then there was a limit ... if your wife is small it may well be that you will never be able to 'use' all nine inches. When you get near the limit, and begin to be able to start thrusting hard, then to avoid hurting her you might want to wear a donut. You'll find some info about that elsewhere here.

    There are plenty of threads here for you with ideas; mostly they are under the 'sex' heading, not here.

    But take it slowly, and enjoy it!! You should be fine.
     
  6. Imported

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    Tachnuk: Hapi Papi,

    Well, it's not about getting it all into her. I mean, I'm not so selfish that I _have_ to get the whole thing into her to be satisfied. In fact I've had girlfriends in the past that I could not get the last inch or two into. They just bottomed out. That's just how it is. I can accept that. The problem in this case, with my wife , is that I hve to basically work for every fraction of an inch. Girth is almost more of a problem. SHe's always stretched to the limit. in fact the dpeth is just perfect. When I'm all the way in, I just bottom the head on her cervix, which she actually finds pleasurable. (luckily she's tall like me so I think that is why she's deep enough for the whole 9") . The problem is pretty much one of girth. Though I have to also be careful to not get at too weird an angle as the length can than hurt her .
    Anyway, when I said "stuff" it into her, I only used that word for lack of a better word. It's more that I _feel_ like that's what I'm doing as even with her fully relaxed and lubed, I still have to apply a good bit of pressure to get it to slide in. and the pressure required doesn;t let up after the head is in like normal.

    ANyway, I'm not overly forceful. In fact I try and be as gentle as possible, that's why this is so frusterating, I hate to hurt her. I care for her a lot.


    Anyway, thanks all.
     
  7. benderten2001

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    Hi there, Tach!

    --YOUR question is EXACTLY why this forum exists....to be a source of help and encouragement for "big-size" guys and their issue in life It's also an excellent example of WHY this forum is NEEDED....it provides keen insight into the world we larger men face....Being "bigger" is not always what it's cracked up to be is it?

    A couple of notes I will add.

    You're doing about all you can do....being careful, using the foreplay and lube approaches to help "prepare her".
    Still however, it doesn't seem to be working.
    And, it's NOT your fault of course, and, it's certainly not hers. The "blaming game" won't help either of you.
    You're both beyond needing to do that.

    You also are to be commended for your insight into the notion that she is going to (if not already) getting the wrong idea that sex is going to always be a painful experience.

    It doesn't have to be.

    Other than trying a few different positions during sex(that means BOTH of you trying them) I don't have any other real solutions immediately. Our friend Bilbo ("Pecker") has been around here for a long time with great advice and wisdom and he gets the prize already for the BEST advice I believe you will find from any of us for you and your wife in this particular situation.

    It's time to get to your wife's gynocologist and the both of you find out what to do. That visit will calm both of you and it's likely to be reassuring as well. You are NOT the only couple with a problem like this and there ARE solutions beyond what the two of you are capable of knowing about at this stage--not excluding a corrective"procedure or two" (for her) which could help your wife find sex pleasurable after all in time. Both of you MUST continue to remain patient with each other and determined to sort this out-- because you can.


    [quote author=Tachnuk link=board=meetgreet;num=1049499636;start=0#0 date=04/04/03 at 15:40:36]

    "... It's very difficult for her to handle my penis in her.
    Insertion takes much foreplay and LOT'S of lubricant. And even then I have to firmly grasp the base and slowly stuff it into her..."

    [/quote]

    You and I are the same size (except you are slightly bigger in girth--that's all.) But, I know EXACTLY what you mean.

    I hate the term "stuffing it" as one poster already pointed out, but friend, that seems to be exactly "how" and "what" we actually do with it when going easy, isn't it now? Ummmmm..let's think about it.

    Let's just satisfy the easily offended here (and who can't imagine such an approach) by just saying:

    "We MUST aim (and guide) our "weapon" most strategically so as to assure the most accurate penetration while yet achieving the optimum goal of the mission (pleasure!) while yet still maintaining those "conditions" which won't alter our desire to avoid either undue hardship and/or distress for both parties".

    --How's that for a new way to avoid that term "stuffing it" ? ;D

    Best wishes. This challenge you and your wife are encountering CAN be worked through. I hesitate to even call it a problem of sexual incompatibility due to size issues. Solutions exists for the BOTH of you with the correct advice from professional consultation.

    Check back with us over time. YOU may be able to advise and help someone else, here! (from what you learn).
     
  8. benderten2001

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    Tach...

    During my posting, another "veteran member" MAX offered great advice, too!

    --So, you're on the way to getting some excellent guidance to help you. :)
     
  9. musc069

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    I also agree on the gynecologist. I have a close friend who has had many large guys, but had real trouble with a particularly wide guy. Her gynecologist worked with her and gave her what amounts to a particularly wide dildo (she called it her ice cream cone) and recommended exercises for her to do. It really helped her get used to him. So I guess what I would say is there is hope.

    Good luck.

    Scott
     
  10. Imported

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    Tachnuk: Hey gang, thanks a lot for all the advice and encouragement.
    Of course we'd like to consult with her gynecologist, however we're currently without health insurance, and a cash consultation is a little outside our current budget.
    This is what led me to trying to find some help online. It's not a substitute for professional help, but on the other hand, it's a big cyber-world, I've found it never hurts to ask in the online community. There's lots of smart, experienced people out there, and many of them are willing to help each other out. So here I am.

    Anyway, thanks to everyone and keep the good advice coming. It's well appreciated.

    Finally, I just want to make the 'stuffing it' issue perfectly clear. I didn't use that term because I forcibly jam my penis into my wife without concern for her pleasure or health. I'm actually quite careful, and gentle as I can be and still accomplish the task. However, I assumed you other hung folks out there would appreciate the fact that no matter how caring and gentle you are, the act of fitting a large penis into a vagina that's not up to the task, basically amounts to stuffing. If it wasn't there wouldn't be a problem to discuss. It still like trying to put on boots a size too small.

    TA.
     
  11. jonb

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    Well, tachnuk, the best answer I can think of is to have her do the motion.

    You can also improve your control. Here's a method I thought of: Thurst (outside of her vagina, maybe in a fake one you can get at any sex shop) to music, and when she stops the music, you have to stop thrusting as quickly as possible.
     
  12. Imported

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    BIGBOYDAVE: Hi Here is something I posted a while back It might help
    Although its for Gay men I'm sure the same methods will work on Straight females

    LPSG / Meet and Greet / Re: Gay Male Needs Advice On Taking In A Large Pen on: Feb 12th, 2003, 11:50pm
    Hi Icey
    Here is a method that I have found works most of the time for bottoms receving my large tool. It is fairly simple but most are too often in a hurry.
    1st. get into doggy position with your head and shoulders on the bed turn your head L or R so you are not face down into the mattress.
    2nd. and most important is Breathing LONG and I stress LONG and slow deep, verry deep breathing In and exhaling out the same way Long and slow.
    3rd. Once you have got the breathing into a rythm ask your partner to slowly enter . Each breath in he pushes a little more stops when u say not removing then continuing when you are comfortable to recieve more. You must continue the Slow Inhales and exhales of breathing. If you have taken gym training I am sure they stressed the breathing during reps. Its much the same here. Keep your mind focused only on the breathing not his penetrating you. Eventually you will breath it in . Your anus will open up and gently pull him in.
    4th. is for him Go slow Encourage your partner with his breathing Both of you breath in and out Loudly so as you can hear each slow breath in and each slow exhale out.
    5th again for him massage your partners lower back reminding him to relax his back muscles and continue his breathing
    6th again for him while massaging your partners back with one hand use the other to massage his but cheeks and thighs slow even very light movements include caressing
    This Gentle breathing approach has worked for my partners most of the time as long as they continue the breathing. Once full penetration has been achieved just go slowly in and out till both are comfortable eventually the rythm will give way to pleasure. Hope this Helps Enjoy each other
     
  13. Imported

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    vikingstone: Welcome Tach,

    Sorry to hear about your problems.

    I don't think this was mentioned in the other posts from my learned colleagues so here's another thing that works wonders for me and mine...I know you said copious foreplay is always involved with your penetration attempts but do you actually make her cum? I always make the little woman orgasm at least once before even trying to slip in. You're a bit girthier than I so perhaps two or more hard cums would be more appropriate with your gal. Whip out the vibrator and get her going to the point where she's almost incoherent, THEN begin the slow and steady techniques that the lads have mentioned above.

    It's worth a try and she will definitely once again associate sex with you as pleasuable and not something to be reticent about or even fear. You'll be the orgasm guy and not the impossibly fat cocked guy!

    Best of luck!
     
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