Let The Str8 Boys define gay for a change

[kudo451]

"Okay, this dance ain't for everybody just the sexy people."
Morris Day & the Time.

No seriously; I noticed there are quit a few threads that have str8 guys questioning their own sexuality or even their masculinity because they hang out on this sight. Got me to wondering; outside of the actual man on man sexual acts, how would you define a Homosexual?

Personally, I know what being gay is, but I have a hard time defining it outside of the sexual acts myself. But that doesn't make me a novice by any means. I mean I passed for str8 to 99.9% of the people in my life until i was 35 and chose to come out. I even had a hard time then convincing my gay friends that I really was gay because I didn't seem to give of any blips on their "gaydar".

Nevertheless, I knew who i was and i was ready to let everyone else know. But defining it verbally? Well, that would be tougher than you think and I am gay. So it obviously makes me wonder how bisexual and str8 guys define gay outside of the sexual acts.

 

[D_CountdeGrandePinja]

As an out gay man and proud of it - I think we are much more aware of the feelings of others. Most of us, I presume, are in the "helping professions" as am I.

It's being an authentic human being - no BS and allowing God's Spirit to work in and through you.

Be at peace!

 

[B_VinylBoy]

We gay men own the copyrights & royalties on the term "gay". We define what it means and what it stands for! The only way you can help define it, is to become part of the movement, and you KNOW what that means!!!



Seriously, I hope people realize that I'm joking to some level here...

 

[Kevin4sex]

We have such a mania for catagories and compartments (which is silly).

I know I'm not being very original when I say that when a man has sex with other men (once, rarely, or on occassion) that makes him gay is a very silly attitude (it makes him bi) just as when a man whose strongest and most frequent attraction is to other guys sleeps with a woman (once, rarely or on occassion) that makes him straight.

I see the labels pertaining as much to a life style as to a sex life. A guy who lives in a neighborhood that predominately populated by other homosexuals, works in industries that attract a predominately gay work force is someone who I'd call gay.

Then there are people (both men and women) whose occupations, living situations (and often life styles) in no way reflect their sexual orientation, these people I'd call homosexuals.

People who live in a basic conformist life style (conservative neighborhoods, consumer to the max, extremely career dedicated--but primarily without passion, toward anything)would be straight, no matter how frequently they had sex with a member of the same sex.

I guess what I'm saying, you really are as you see yourself. If you see yourself as a proud, out gay man, that's what you are. If you see yourself a closeted married man living in the suburbs, that's what you are, if you see yourself as a straight man with a wife, kids, and good six figure income, that's what you are. I think it's as much how you see yourself as how others see you.

 

[rob_just_rob]

If a man currently has sex or sexual fantasies about men exclusively, he's homosexual.

If a man currently has sex or sexual fantasies about women exclusively, he's heterosexual.

If one wanted to be strictly semantic, one could say that anyone in between those two extremes is bisexual. Realistically, though, calling someone who occasionally fantasizes about the same sex (and nothing more) a bisexual, will do nothing but confuse those who are actively bisexual or homosexual.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Then again, when do we ever allow ourselves to be free of these kinds of limits. The kind that ostracize us from our own happiness?

The fact that you question your masculinity of all things by simply being on an open forum that deals with a part of your own body leads me to wonder who is really behind these thoughts? The awareness behind these kinds of contemplative statements?

We place such negative ideals on homosexuals, perhaps because one happens to be more feminine than another so the whole bunch is poisoned by an otherwise crappy ideal. Who cares if this is the case? It's not like you are going to sleep with him? Or if he is masculine and scratches his nut sack and football games? To mock someone or feel insecure because you are here is a form of self punishment. A guilt that is only toxic to your well being.

The days of feeling a lack of self worth and guilt over the fact I prefer men are over. I'd rather strive for the mentality of a liberated being and not confine myself to what others think. It is after all their problem and it's MY skin that is be on the receiving end of worry should it be necessary to do so.

Being gay is only the tip of the iceberg. You are actually the awareness behind the homosexuality, a being of spirit and humanity. Anything else is secondary.

 

[jclink1972]

Tasting another man is hot, and feeling him is also hot. too bad I'm in titusville i guess.

 

[Principessa]

If a man currently has sex or sexual fantasies about men exclusively, he's homosexual.

If a man currently has sex or sexual fantasies about women exclusively, he's heterosexual.

If one wanted to be strictly semantic, one could say that anyone in between those two extremes is bisexual. Realistically, though, calling someone who occasionally fantasizes about the same sex (and nothing more) a bisexual, will do nothing but confuse those who are actively bisexual or homosexual.

Right on R_J_R!! Many of the straight men here have 10% gay because they think they might one day let a man suck their dick. I don't believe just thinking about it or even looking at gay porn are enough to make a man bi or gay. Then again I am 100% straight.

We have such a mania for catagories and compartments (which is silly).

I know I'm not being very original when I say that when a man has sex with other men (once, rarely, or on occassion) that makes him gay is a very silly attitude (it makes him bi) just as when a man whose strongest and most frequent attraction is to other guys sleeps with a woman (once, rarely or on occassion) that makes him straight.

I see the labels pertaining as much to a life style as to a sex life. A guy who lives in a neighborhood that predominately populated by other homosexuals, works in industries that attract a predominately gay work force is someone who I'd call gay.

Then there are people (both men and women) whose occupations, living situations (and often life styles) in no way reflect their sexual orientation, these people I'd call homosexuals.

People who live in a basic conformist life style (conservative neighborhoods, consumer to the max, extremely career dedicated--but primarily without passion, toward anything) would be straight, no matter how frequently they had sex with a member of the same sex. [/QUOTE] :wtf2: You can put it in a pretty box and wrap it with a bow; but what you just said makes no damn sense! :wtf1:

I guess what I'm saying, you really are as you see yourself. If you see yourself as a proud, out gay man, that's what you are. If you see yourself a closeted married man living in the suburbs, that's what you are, if you see yourself as a straight man with a wife, kids, and good six figure income, that's what you are.

I think it's as much how you see yourself as how others see you.

True, but frequently straight people and gay people are aware of a persons inherent bisexuality well before that person themselves is aware of it. My point being if a married man identifies himself as 100% straight; but is in the gay bars every weekend and glory holes on his lunch hour because he can't go 72 hours without sucking a cock he's bisexual. He can call himself straight as much as he wants, straight men don't suck dick.

We gay men own the copyrights & royalties on the term "gay". We define what it means and what it stands for! The only way you can help define it, is to become part of the movement, and you KNOW what that means!!!

Seriously, I hope people realize that I'm joking to some level here...

Even if you weren't joking I'd be okay with your opinion. I don't want whites or asians defining my blackness. Why should straight people define your gayness?

]

"Okay, this dance ain't for everybody just the sexy people." Morris Day & the Time.

[/b] Cool Quote!

No seriously; I noticed there are quit a few threads that have str8 guys questioning their own sexuality or even their masculinity because they hang out on this sight. Got me to wondering;

outside of the actual man on man sexual acts, how would you define a Homosexual?

The undeniable emotional, physical; and mental need to be with another man.
Personally, I know what being gay is, but I have a hard time defining it outside of the sexual acts myself. But that doesn't make me a novice by any means. I mean I passed for str8 to 99.9% of the people in my life until i was 35 and chose to come out. I even had a hard time then convincing my gay friends that I really was gay because I didn't seem to give off any blips on their "gaydar".

Nevertheless, I knew who i was and i was ready to let everyone else know. But defining it verbally? Well, that would be tougher than you think and I am gay. So it obviously makes me wonder how bisexual and str8 guys define gay outside of the sexual acts.

 

[kudo451]

Shessh!
Let's narrow it down for the Dumass family members who are out and about. The question is not about str8 people defining me as a homosexual . Its about asking them to participate in a dialog by finding out how they define homosexuals outside of sexual acts. Its about creating understanding in the end byasking the other side to participate in dialog rather than just assuming we know more than they do (which in my experience is rather common in the gay community). Do you seriously think as a member of any group you can just cast your views out on the waters and everyone else is going to just go with what you say? Welcome to the Dumass family!

There are only so many gays in the world but they are related amazingly enough to str8 people. So outside of sexual acts might include how one would define an uncle or brother, father, sister, or mother. Its not just relations where sex is involved. But how do the str8 and bi guys on this website define gay is the question on the table.

 

[D_Cyprius Slapwilly]

I'm perfectly straight, and I have no qualms saying that I like looking at my cock. I never really got off on looking at other cock's, but I do enjoy taking photos of my own for some odd reason. But even if I enjoyed other people's cocks I don't see that as being gay. Being physically attracted to that body part doesn't make you gay - solely fantasizing about men does. I'd even go so far as to say that touching another man isn't necessarily gay, but actively seeking and enjoying it might be.

 

[foxmgm]

I'm perfectly straight, and I have no qualms saying that I like looking at my cock. I never really got off on looking at other cock's, but I do enjoy taking photos of my own for some odd reason. But even if I enjoyed other people's cocks I don't see that as being gay. Being physically attracted to that body part doesn't make you gay - solely fantasizing about men does. I'd even go so far as to say that touching another man isn't necessarily gay, but actively seeking and enjoying it might be.

I read the kinsey report in highschool, and saw the movie a few years back, we are all fall somewhere on the scale from straight to gay, none of us are all of one, or the other. There is nothing odd about you liking the way a part of your body looks. It sounds like good self esteem to me.

admitting our gayness or our straightness is something we do, to make others feel comfortable, and an attempt to be accepted by others and what we think they want us to be.

Get head from a guy one day, fuck a girl the next, just be true to yourself, and what feels good to you. It's only you, that you have to impress. Life is too short to miss out on anything that we would like to experience or feel.

If you haven't read the "Kinsey Report" I highly reccomend it. It is amazing the things that people will admit to, when they can without judgement.

Be well....Chris (Gay) mostly

 

[horneyoldguy]

To me "gay" is the overall preference to meet one's sexual needs by having a sexual relationship with a person of the same gender.


"Bi" is where a person, to meet their sexual needs, can easily meet these needs by having a sexual relationship with either gender aqnd neither gender preference dominates in this sexual relationship.


Straight is the opposite of "gay." The person overal preference ot meet ones sexual nees is to have sex with a person of the opposite gender.

Curious is where the indifidual is not sure about their preference and is experimenting.