I am seriously tempted to abuse my position as landlord. The upstairs neighbor's smoke detector is chirping. The battery must be low. it is going off every 45 second, or so it seems. I am TWO FLOORS BELOW! If I can hear it, and I am slowly going apeshit, WTF is wrong with them? Are they out of town? Did they go to work this morning ( I heard them) and never come home this evening? They got an envelope from American Airlines, and one from a cruise company a month ago. Are they on vacation? I know every squeaky floorboard in this bitch. I have lived here for 26 years. I'd like to put on slipper socks, grab the keys, creep into the kitchen, and throw the fecking thing out of the window. Seriously. I wonder if I could get away with it. I'm not sure I can sleep. I am exhausted. I hallucinated for a few minutes. Then I slept long enough to dream of my mother. She made an "o" with her mouth and chirped at me.