Levi Johnston

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

lets hope LJ is hung better than michelangelo's david.

he gave david such a small cock, maybe it started out bigger and he accidently chipped off a big piece of marble and there was nothing left to do but "downsize"

Thaaaad, you've been on this site far too long.
Yer eyeballz is failin.
You can't tell no more whatz big n whatz small.
David is a normal guy, even kinda big.

David represents a very nervous man. He's facing Goliath, wondering how he's going to kill him. His pupils are wide, his position tense. David is sizing-up his opponent before a battle to the death where nobody favors him. As a result he's got shrinkage and his balls have pulled up tight. All of it is very deliberate.

Don't know if you're serious, but I don't get that at all.
I can't imagine a standing posture giving a greater sense of alertness and repose together.
Look at the curve in the torso, the openness of the knees, the right hand's complete lack of tension.
Shrinkage? Sure. But nothing untoward.
That's a man whose inner space comprises the whole world.
(That's a piece of Zen fer yuh, pardner.)
You been on this site too long too.

 

[thadjock]

Thaaaad, you've been on this site far too long.
Yer eyeballz is failin.
You can't tell no more whatz big n whatz small.
David is a normal guy, even kinda big.

oh come on, i'm not the first one to wonder about davids' size.

throuought the ages there have been entire monographs written about his prepubescent schlong.

every art geek has postulated why, from "making it small to avoid the
vulgarity of hanging a big man sized swingin dik on a religious figure" to, "guys were just not that big back then". I am glad he endowed him with intactness though.

personally i think it was just a fashion trend in art, none of the nudes from that period show men with what today would be considered average size flaccid penises. even though african/egyptian/roman/and greek art from thousands of years before depict men with enormous cocks proudly displayed.

maybe there was also a pragmatic reason, delicate appendages are difficult to carve totally free from the mass, fingers etc are often connected to an arm/ leg/ or face for strength. lets face it, stone has it's structural limitations, even Ms venus' arms got cracked off somewhere along the way, so even an arm sized dick wouldn't have been safe from amputation.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Yes.

 

[2322]

I am serious. This is the latest theory in vogue from a physiologist who looked at physical responses to fear. He found David to be in a state of fear based upon the posture, musculature, eyes, and appearance.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I am serious. This is the latest theory in vogue from a physiologist who looked at physical responses to fear. He found David to be in a state of fear based upon the posture, musculature, eyes, and appearance.

Well, we all know what fear looks like.
And it don't look like that, imo.

 

[B_Nick8]

Sarah just said on the Oprah interview that she believes what Levi is doing in Playgirl is porn. She also says he's going by the name of Ricky Hollywood now.

 

[cellardoor1911]

sad news, even though most of us predicted it:

"There is no wang. We repeat, there is no wang! Playgirl's seen the results of last week's photo shoot, and while there may be glimpses of Levi Johnston's baby maker, there is no full-frontal shot. Let the blame game begin!

Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio has released a statement blaming Levi's manager Tank Jones. "He did not give 'full-frontal' as his manager Tank Jones reported he would. We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them. Although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."

That is very sad news indeed. Playgirl had one job to do: get a photo of that famous hockey stick and it failed to do so. Maybe ironically-named photographer Gregory Weiner couldn't make an intimate connection with his model and convince him to bare all. Maybe Tank Jones was trying to keep him covered to protect his client's image. Maybe Levi just got shy at the last minute and couldn't go through with it.

Still, after all the hype Tank created about how "fearless" Levi is and how he was ready to show us everything, we feel very let down and a little bit lied to. Tank was totally the madam that said we would have the full run of all the girls in the house, but when we arrived, all we got was a scratchy hand job from a buck-toothed cross-eye in a closet."

source: Photo Disaster: No Full Frontal of Levi! - Levi Johnston - Gawker

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

throuought the ages there have been entire monographs written about his prepubescent schlong.

I still say it ain't so prepubescent.
Puhleez, thad ... a lil' bit of lateral thinking, if you would.
But you just go clickin' along ...

 

[DadsAreUs]

I am serious. This is the latest theory in vogue from a physiologist who looked at physical responses to fear. He found David to be in a state of fear based upon the posture, musculature, eyes, and appearance.

I would be scared if i had that penis and were naked in front of a crowd about to get my ass kicked. At least he won the fight.

And LJ, didn't come up with the goods. There will be no penis in his shoot.

 

[B_Nick8]

What a pussy.

 

[mykal923]

no wang means hes def hung like a hamster or just too afraid!!!!!!
And as far as Sarah she can go fuck herself!!!
what a waste of human life that woman is, and as for her husband i bet he gets sex once a year when she can take her head out of her ass long enough to pay him any attention

 

[prince_will]

sad news, even though most of us predicted it:

"There is no wang. We repeat, there is no wang!

i knew it, but i'm still not any less pissed.

I am serious. This is the latest theory in vogue from a physiologist who looked at physical responses to fear. He found David to be in a state of fear based upon the posture, musculature, eyes, and appearance.

Honestly, that sounds totally plausible to me.

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

George Lopez on his show tonight (paraphrased) --

Levi Johnston turned down Sarah Palin's invitation to Thanksgiving dinner. Smart move on his part. Passing Bristol the white meat is how he got in this situation in the first place.

Ahahahahahahahaha....

 

[Icantthinkofaname]

sad news, even though most of us predicted it:

"There is no wang. We repeat, there is no wang! Playgirl's seen the results of last week's photo shoot, and while there may be glimpses of Levi Johnston's baby maker, there is no full-frontal shot. Let the blame game begin!

http://i38.tinypic.com/23sdpc0.jpg
NOOOOOOOOO!!!

But... That was the only reason why people actually paid attention to this mess! I was told there would be peen, WHY IS THERE NO PEEN?!

 

[D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse]

jason_els writes:

I am serious. This is the latest theory in vogue from a physiologist who looked at physical responses to fear. He found David to be in a state of fear based upon the posture, musculature, eyes, and appearance.

--------------------

Oh, Jason! I had to laugh. I love weird psychological observations that come out of left field.


In her novel, "A Book of Common Prayer", Joan Didion writes this thought, which also seemed to come out of nowhere:

"Fear of the dark can be synthesized in the laboratory. Fear of the dark is an arrangement of fifteen amino acids. Fear of the dark is a protein."

 

[B_Nick8]

Oh, Jason! I had to laugh. I love weird psychological observations that come out of left field.


In her novel, "A Book of Common Prayer", Joan Didion writes this thought, which also seemed to come out of nowhere:

"Fear of the dark can be synthesized in the laboratory. Fear of the dark is an arrangement of fifteen amino acids. Fear of the dark is a protein."

Oh, god.

Now, I had to laugh at that! :biggrin1:

 

[2322]

jason_els writes:

I am serious. This is the latest theory in vogue from a physiologist who looked at physical responses to fear. He found David to be in a state of fear based upon the posture, musculature, eyes, and appearance.

--------------------

Oh, Jason! I had to laugh. I love weird psychological observations that come out of left field.

In her novel, "A Book of Common Prayer", Joan Didion writes this thought, which also seemed to come out of nowhere:

"Fear of the dark can be synthesized in the laboratory. Fear of the dark is an arrangement of fifteen amino acids. Fear of the dark is a protein."

Fear = shrinkage. It makes sense. Your body directs blood to the brain and muscles, minimizing flow to non-essential organs. I guess we should ask men who've been in combat if they've experienced shrinkage if they even remotely thought of their genitals at the time.

 

[D_Ireonsyd_Colonrinse]

jason -- the only problem with this theory is: practically ALL the male nudes in Renaissance art are small-dicked. I've been looking at Michelangelo's nudes particularly the past 2 days. They can't all be suffering from fear and shrinkage.

There are too many small dicks in hundreds of paintings -- even random sketches -- and you'd be hard-pressed to ascribe fear to them all.

 

[B_Nick8]

jason -- the only problem with this theory is: practically ALL the male nudes in Renaissance art are small-dicked. I've been looking at Michelangelo's nudes particularly the past 2 days. They can't all be suffering from fear and shrinkage.

There are too many small dicks in hundreds of paintings -- even random sketches -- and you'd be hard-pressed to ascribe fear to them all.

I'm with you on this one. Although, the fact that they didn't have central heating in those days probably put a serious crimp in those models. :wink:

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

jason -- the only problem with this theory is: practically ALL the male nudes in Renaissance art are small-dicked. I've been looking at Michelangelo's nudes particularly the past 2 days. They can't all be suffering from fear and shrinkage.

There are too many small dicks in hundreds of paintings -- even random sketches -- and you'd be hard-pressed to ascribe fear to them all.

Very true.
And it's impossible to look at David, at the entire posture, the expression on the face, etcetera, and see fear.
It ain't there.