Lewd Limerick Lovers!

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Pecker, May 22, 2003.

  1. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    If you've got a favorite big dick/little dick limerick, this is the place to share it!

    There was a young man from Sharrock.
    Who played the bass viol with his cock.
    With enormous erections,
    He'd pour forth selections,
    By Johann Sebastian Bach!

    Pecker
     
  2. jonb

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,308
    Likes Received:
    2
    There once was a man from Nantucket,
    who was old, but not yet kicked the bucket,
    don't be a creep,
    at the sound of the beep,
    leave a message or you can just f-- orget about anyone calling you back!
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    If you think that our boy's now a stud,
    you've been fooled by the size of his pud.
    Though twelve inches soft,
    When it rises aloft,
    He just faints from the transfer of blood.

    Pecker
     
  4. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    BiteSize: Another young man from Nantucket
    Had a penis so long he could suck it.
    He said with a grin
    While wiping his chin
    "If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it."
     
  5. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    oldman9x7: There was an old man from Kent
    Who had a pecker so long that it bent;
    So to save himself trouble
    He'd put it in double
    And instead of cumming, he went.
    Gramps
     
  6. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    A short-organed fellow named Kevin
    Used a vacuum to stretch it to seven.
    Then to eight and to nine,
    And though ten was divine,
    There will be film at eleven.


    Pecker
     
  7. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    Finedessert: There was a young girl from Sofia
    Who succumed to her lovers desire.......

    She said, "It's a sin
    But now that's it's in....

    Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

    Grandpa
     
  8. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    There was a young fellow named Skinner
    Who took a young lady to dinner
    At a quarter to nine
    They sat down to dine;
    By nine-thirty Skinner was in her.


    Pecker
     
  9. jonb

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,308
    Likes Received:
    2
    [quote author=bilbobagginsx link=board=99;num=1053648853;start=0#5 date=05/24/03 at 04:22:13]A short-organed fellow named Kevin
    Used a vacuum to stretch it to seven.
    Then to eight and to nine,
    And though ten was divine,
    There will be film at eleven.[/quote]
    If you think our young friend's now a stud
    You've been fooled by the size of his pud
    Though it's twelve inches soft
    When it rises aloft
    He faints from the sheer loss of blood
     
  10. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    An ex-submariner named Guido
    Had a most tremendous libido.
    When he was around women
    He just couldn't go swimmin
    Because of his gigantic torpedo.


    Pecker
     
  11. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    Finedessert: In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
    Complacenty stroking his madam,

    And loud was his mirth

    For he knew that on earth

    There were only two balls.....and he had'em.
     
  12. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    The drugs that we take when we're ailin'
    Have alternate names for retailin'
    Tylenol's Acetaminophen,
    Advil is Ibuprophen
    And Viagra is Mycoxafailin'.


    Pecker
     
  13. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    Messages:
    5,402
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Since some of the posts here don't deal with cock size, mine my be appropriate. It's one I wrote and it won first prize at a limerick contest at a Renaissance faire I regularly attend.

    "A famed ornithologist named Rollo
    Gave me this bit of logic to follow:
    The bird of true love
    Is not the white dove;
    Can there be any doubt 'tis the swallow?"
     
  14. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    Ha!

    That's a winner!


    Pecker
     
  15. jonb

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,308
    Likes Received:
    2
    There once was a man named Rex
    Who would show everyone his small sex
    He'd always get off
    When the judge would scoff
    De minimis non curat lex
     
  16. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    A young girl from South Carolina
    Placed fiddle strings 'cross her vagina
    With proper sized cocks
    What was sex, became Bach's
    Tocatta and Fugue in D Minor.

    Pecker
     
  17. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
    When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
    But, in charming my cobra,
    The bosom with no bra
    Can almost reduce it to tears.

    Pecker
     
  18. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    There once was a man from Uppingham
    Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham
    Just watching the stunts
    Of the cunts in the punts
    And the tricks of the pricks that were f**king 'em.

    Pecker
     
  19. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    Finedessert_again: There was a young sailor named Bates
    Who danced the fandango on skates.
    But a fall on his cutlass
    Has rendered him nutless,
    and practically useless on dates.

    Grandpa
     
  20. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    There once was a knight dubbed Lancelot
    At whom people would look askance a lot
    For whenever he passed
    A delectable lass
    The lance in his pants would advance a lot.

    Pecker
     
Draft saved Draft deleted