licking, sucking, or both

[HiddenLacey]

This thread makes it clear that a lot of women don't move or make any sounds, so I don't see how a man is supposed to interpret their "signals." He would have to be a mind reader!

http://www.lpsg.org/184452-is-anybody-here-silent-during.html

I make a lot less noise when I'm being licked than when we're having PIV sex, and I would think that a man who is only going on "signals" might interpret that to mean that I don't enjoy it as much. That's not true! I love being licked. I think the best way to figure out what your partner likes is just to ask, and if you aren't ask, then tell your partner, "I loved that thing you did! More in the future please!"



:biggrin1:

This I agree with 100%. In the moment I can be extremely vocal about how I feel. I may not talk about it afterward, but I promise if I like it he know's while it's happening!

 

[HiddenLacey]

Yes, I know, I like to massage the G Spot while sucking and licking clit.
But you left yourself open.

Well I'll try to elaborate in the future!:wink:

 

[B_subgirrl]

i get bored.
i'd rather just fuck.

Exactly how I feel! Glad I'm not the only one :smile:

 

[HazelGod]

This thread makes it clear that a lot of women don't move or make any sounds, so I don't see how a man is supposed to interpret their "signals." He would have to be a mind reader!

No, he really wouldn't. If you'll pardon the gross understatement, there's a lot more to body language in general and sexual response in particular than overt movements and obvious noises.

I make a lot less noise when I'm being licked than when we're having PIV sex, and I would think that a man who is only going on "signals" might interpret that to mean that I don't enjoy it as much.

Only if you believe the only signals you're giving off are vocal. Trust me, they aren't.

I think the best way to figure out what your partner likes is just to ask

It's one way, and an easy one, sure...but hardly the best way. I'm much more impressed with a lover who can read my desires without needing them spelled out in block letters. While certain areas of sexuality really do merit explicit conversation beforehand, a huge part of the excitement of sex for me is the sense of wonder in discovering how you and your lover respond to one another. Some people prefer improv to plodding through a script

tell your partner, "I loved that thing you did! More in the future please!"

Now this, I wholly agree with!

 

[dolfette]

yes, I actually was expecting there might be a bit of that forthcoming lol, was bracing myself
I've heard of other women not being comfortable enough with their bodies to welcome guys down there, but not so much just not being into it due to it being less than exciting to experience.

it's just not the right sensation to get me going.
the whole thing is just a bit bland.
and then you've got a guy with a slimy face, and i just don't want to kiss a slimy face.

Exactly how I feel! Glad I'm not the only one :smile:

we should get t-shirts printed.

 

[petite]

It's one way, and an easy one, sure...but hardly the best way. I'm much more impressed with a lover who can read my desires without needing them spelled out in block letters. While certain areas of sexuality really do merit explicit conversation beforehand, a huge part of the excitement of sex for me is the sense of wonder in discovering how you and your lover respond to one another. Some people prefer improv to plodding through a script

I see so much complaining on LPSG about not getting what you want from your partner from people who have never just told their partner what they want or what they enjoy!

The "script problem" is a myth. I'll say to TheBoyfriend, "Hey, tonight I really want to blow you in the shower and then I want to straddle you on the chair in the steamy bathroom while we're both still all wet and slick." Or, "I want to have sex with you like the first time, when you went down on me and made me orgasm and then you lifted my hips with your hands and held them up while you fucked me on your knees until I orgasmed again and then we finished in doggy style." Men love it when you say stuff like that. Only in LPSG World are men who say, "No way. I hate that! Don't tell me anything like that. Just guess what I want and I'll guess what you want because that's better." In real life men respond, "God, I love you!" or what TheBoyfriend always says, "Hell, yeah! Let's do it!" I've never heard one man complain about it or respond with, "God, I wish you would stop scripting our sex life." Sometimes TheBoyfriend will say, "I want to do this thing instead of that thing!" and then I'll say, "Okay, let's do that instead." Trust me, it's not "plodding," it's fun and exciting! If it's not, then you suck at asking for what you want.

The older I've gotten the more frustrated I got with men who couldn't talk about sex, not that there were very many. Most men are open about it if you are. Past my early twenties, I had enough of guys who are more prudish than me in the bedroom. TheBoyfriend and I were just talking about it a few days ago and during that conversation I realized that every guy I've ever been with who was reluctant to talk about sex had terrible skills and was a bore in the bedroom. Not every guy who was open about talking sex was really good in bed, but they were better than the non-talkers!

 

[B_subgirrl]

we should get t-shirts printed.

I can just picture them - "Don't even bother. It's just not fun"

To be honest, I do think it feels kind of nice. But it just relaxes me and makes me want to go to sleep. Kind of like when mum stroked my hair as a kid. I don't find it the slightest bit arousing.

 

[deleted356736]

This thread makes it clear that a lot of women don't move or make any sounds, so I don't see how a man is supposed to interpret their "signals." He would have to be a mind reader!

It's true that a lot of women don't move much or make any noise. But you can still work out what's going on by interpreting body language, especially if you're on the right track you will feel her legs stiffen, if you look up her face will have changed (she may frown, one lover used to curl her lip). With a first-time partner or one-night stand, it's just a matter of varying things a bit until you get to what works, and then staying on that while feeling for how she's responding.

I do admit that it's not easy for many men to get to that level of expertise. I got there early on by getting a partner to briefly masturbate for me, and then imitating what she did with my tounge, which meant I learned her response at the same time.

 

[HazelGod]

I see so much complaining on LPSG about not getting what you want from your partner from people who have never just told their partner what they want or what they enjoy!

Once more, you and I are talking about completely different things. You're talking about using conversation as a means of selecting what you want from a menu.

I'm talking about a partner who can read your body during sex and know intuitively when to touch a certain spot, to speed up or slow down, squeeze harder or change angles...or know that you've had enough of one thing and are ripe for the next.

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Depends on my mood but either way ...be gentle with the piercings!!

 

[petite]

Once more, you and I are talking about completely different things. You're talking about using conversation as a means of selecting what you want from a menu.

I'm talking about a partner who can read your body during sex and know intuitively when to touch a certain spot, to speed up or slow down, squeeze harder or change angles...or know that you've had enough of one thing and are ripe for the next.

Ah, I see! Sorry, after the 1,000th person on LPSG has said that talking about sex ruins it so one should just hint and guess and try to read the other person instead that I jumped to the conclusion that's what you're talking about, too!

I do love it when lovers are really great at reading body language and signals and I've been lucky to have a few who can and are really excellent at it. It is a wonderful skill to find in a man and the men who possess the ability to do that do make great lovers!

TheBoyfriend is like most men, though, and he isn't the best at reading women. In my experience, most men are terrible at it! In that "noise" thread so many men talked about sleeping with women who did not react during sex, make noise, or move, and simply announced "I came!" when they were finished which they would have never noticed if they weren't told. It's possible that those women gave no indication, or like you and cbrmale both implied, that those men couldn't read the women that they were sleeping with. With those men, you do have to resort to verbalizing what you like and don't like, what works and what doesn't, which I don't mind doing, if they don't mind it, either. Actually, if he can't read me and it bothers him if I tried to tell him, then I'd stop seeing him.

That doesn't work like a script either, though, saying what feels good if he can't just read you. Just saying, "Oooh! That feels great!" while he's licking, or, "I like it when you occasionally take a lap around my labia when you're licking me, but not when I'm about to orgasm. My labia are very sensitive, but I prefer more focus on my clit close to orgasm. I also enjoy ice cream licks from the bottom all the way to the top with your tongue flat. That's a great way to begin or mix things up every once in a while. Also, I love it when you touch my thighs and my pelvis and my breasts with your hands while you lick. It drives me wild!" It's best to say things like that some other time when his face isn't between your legs because that much detail is hard to do with his tongue on your clit, and it's a little weird to me to be that detailed during actual sex. Then he knows what feels great. If he could read those things about you without you having to say the words, the end result is the same, spoken or unspoken. Both result in him knowing what you like. Neither involves "scripting" sex.

TheBoyfriend can tell when I'm not into something he's doing and that he needs to change to doing something else, and he can read when I'm nearing orgasm and when he needs to continue , but he's not the best at reading me. It really doesn't adversely affect our sexual relationship because I'm often verbal and sort of obvious anyway, with the exclamations of, "Don't stop!" or, "Slow down!" and, "Oh my god that's great!"

 

[HiddenLacey]

Depends on my mood but either way ...be gentle with the piercings!!

Ahhh you have piercing's? YOU ROCK:tongue: I got my bellybutton pierced that's as brave as I felt. If I could walk in wearing a mask and not freak out I'd love to have my nipple's done and maybe something else. It's different though walking in the doors and looking someone in the eye's and saying what you want and then exposing yourself for it. I don't care how many time's they've done it. I am a big wussy chicken:redface:

 

[D_Sparroe Spongecaques]

Ahhh you have piercing's? YOU ROCK:tongue: I got my bellybutton pierced that's as brave as I felt. If I could walk in wearing a mask and not freak out I'd love to have my nipple's done and maybe something else. It's different though walking in the doors and looking someone in the eye's and saying what you want and then exposing yourself for it. I don't care how many time's they've done it. I am a big wussy chicken:redface:

I sure do and i was nervous myself having the 2 piercings 'there':wink: It didnt help that the piercer,Mitch,was 23 at the time,a real cutie.The worst bit for me was the numbing spray (it takes the edge off it didnt numb),it got hotter and hotter! He did say no penetrative sex for 2 weeks so i didnt make it bleed loads which they do especially when aroused.

Having my nipples pierced didnt bother me at all though i did stupidly wear a lacey bra which rubbed and made me abit stingy.

My tongue was the worst,my kids thought it was great as i couldnt tell them off properly for a week or so haha!!

My belly button was fine though it did catch on my uniform trousers a few times.

None hurt as such so if you can get over the embarrassment it is well worth it:wink: