Lies you've told to get laid..
- Thread starter GTS
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"yeah but gay guys don't have to lie to get laid
straight guys do"
I never lie to get laid, and have been with more than my fair share of women. I feel like if I was willing to lie, I would probably have sex more often. Most guys who have a lot of sex have no qualms about that. It's still not something I'm willing to do.
I think there are two elements of this that are kind of sad. One, the guys who feel it is necessary to lie either because they are not having enough sex or they can't get sex any other way. The latter seems a little pathetic. There's something wrong with the way you're living your life or approaching women if deceit is the ONLY way you can get women to sleep with you. The former is just exploitative, shallow and deceitful. Intentionally manipulating others to fulfill your own base desires is no better than mugging someone at gunpoint in my opinion. Both represent completely selfish acts that will have a direct, immediate, harmful effect on others that may last much longer than whatever benefit you get out of it.
On the other hand, I think it's also very sad that though there are plenty of women out there who enjoy sex for its own sake, they almost expect to be lied to in order to have it. They might call it courtship or romancing but it basically amounts to the same thing. A man just coming out and admitting that he's looking for a sexual connection isn't going to get what he's after. Complete honesty, even with women who are looking for sex themselves, is usually a bad idea. Women will rarely admit that's what they're after and they expect you to play along.
I navigate through a tricky middle ground here. I'm not going to misrepresent who I am, make promises I can't keep, feign interest in something I couldn't care less about, or tell someone only what I expect they want to hear for the sake of getting them into bed with me. At the same time, if my interest in a woman is purely sexual (or mostly sexual, I'm usually not attracted to women I am completely disinterested in), I'm not going to tell them right off the bat that's what I want. I take it for granted it's implied, most of the time. I won't tell them exactly what they want to hear when it requires fabricating something, but I may omit something if they don't ask about it that might turn them off. Some might call these lies of omission, but I don't feel like I'm lying. I just sometimes allow other people to deceive themselves if that's what they want to do. Even then, I do what I can to protect everyone's feelings. Sometimes that means interrupting the self-deception.
straight guys do"
I never lie to get laid, and have been with more than my fair share of women. I feel like if I was willing to lie, I would probably have sex more often. Most guys who have a lot of sex have no qualms about that. It's still not something I'm willing to do.
I think there are two elements of this that are kind of sad. One, the guys who feel it is necessary to lie either because they are not having enough sex or they can't get sex any other way. The latter seems a little pathetic. There's something wrong with the way you're living your life or approaching women if deceit is the ONLY way you can get women to sleep with you. The former is just exploitative, shallow and deceitful. Intentionally manipulating others to fulfill your own base desires is no better than mugging someone at gunpoint in my opinion. Both represent completely selfish acts that will have a direct, immediate, harmful effect on others that may last much longer than whatever benefit you get out of it.
On the other hand, I think it's also very sad that though there are plenty of women out there who enjoy sex for its own sake, they almost expect to be lied to in order to have it. They might call it courtship or romancing but it basically amounts to the same thing. A man just coming out and admitting that he's looking for a sexual connection isn't going to get what he's after. Complete honesty, even with women who are looking for sex themselves, is usually a bad idea. Women will rarely admit that's what they're after and they expect you to play along.
I navigate through a tricky middle ground here. I'm not going to misrepresent who I am, make promises I can't keep, feign interest in something I couldn't care less about, or tell someone only what I expect they want to hear for the sake of getting them into bed with me. At the same time, if my interest in a woman is purely sexual (or mostly sexual, I'm usually not attracted to women I am completely disinterested in), I'm not going to tell them right off the bat that's what I want. I take it for granted it's implied, most of the time. I won't tell them exactly what they want to hear when it requires fabricating something, but I may omit something if they don't ask about it that might turn them off. Some might call these lies of omission, but I don't feel like I'm lying. I just sometimes allow other people to deceive themselves if that's what they want to do. Even then, I do what I can to protect everyone's feelings. Sometimes that means interrupting the self-deception.
Principessa
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1) Uhmm, it feels so big I don't think it will fit. :redface: (said very shyly while making out)
2) You're looking pretty good, have you been working out? :05::flirt:
3) I just checked the calendar and my period is due in 3 days. This usually got me 3 days of hot sex. :biggrin1: (He knew I hate having sex on my period)
2) You're looking pretty good, have you been working out? :05::flirt:
3) I just checked the calendar and my period is due in 3 days. This usually got me 3 days of hot sex. :biggrin1: (He knew I hate having sex on my period)
DGirl
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I just thought of something else kind of sad about this issue. The fact that when guys do lie about certain things... the job they have, which country they are from, how much money they make, which celebrities they know, what rock bands they are in, what level of security clearance they have, etc. etc... often it can work to get them laid. That's just goofy. Shit completely peripheral to the person's personality, how they are going to treat you, or how well they are going to perform in the sack. Yet, if you can play guitar or if you are famous or if you're in a high-power job, you'll get substantially more pussy just for those things alone. The sad part is that girls will throw themselves at celebrity or money, but blow off nicer more sincere men left and right. If a guy is lying about these things, and not misleading someone regarding their feelings, emotional availability, or what kind of a person they are... then I may actually feel more sympathetic toward the guy. I still wouldn't do it myself, though.
Yep, I guess that sums up why I never get laid. I'm not any of those things that you mention attracts women, and I don't lie to convince them I am.
This world is so superficial, and it's just plain gone to the dogs.
Ever wish you had never been born?
Those aren't the only reasons women will have sex with you. Personality, social skills, and general good looks still count more than anything else for average guys. Those things will just get you laid in lieu of having any of those other things.
yeah, you've told us before.
Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help you get laid, either. Been there, done that. Speaking from experience.
Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't help you get laid, either. Been there, done that. Speaking from experience.
Principessa
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I do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah we all know you are happily ensconced between Miss Bliss's well toned thighs. :tongue::wink:
No_Strings, you are an exceptional young man in many ways; it does not surprise me that you have never had a problem attracting or keeping a woman. However, we musn't forget that there are but a small handful of men like you born to each generation. :smile:
No, I haven't. For all that I have had low self-esteem since childhood, I have just enough conceit to believe the world is a better place because I'm in it. :biggrin1:Yep, I guess that sums up why I never get laid. I'm not any of those things that you mention attracts women, and I don't lie to convince them I am. No one is saying you have to lie to get a woman to have sex with you. This world is so superficial, and it's just plain gone to the dogs. I agree; but since we all know the world will never change to meet our individual needs I think it is each persons responsibility to make some small change to fit in with the world. Ever wish you had never been born?
No matter how much we all say we don't like game playing we all do it to some degree at least once in our lives. If we didn't we wouldn't be human.BONKY:"yeah but gay guys don't have to lie to get laid - straight guys do"NIC_160IQ, I can see why you would disagree with this statement as an absolute. However, you like No_Strings are hardly the 'average man.' I never lie to get laid, and have been with more than my fair share of women. I feel like if I was willing to lie, I would probably have sex more often. Most guys who have a lot of sex have no qualms about that. It's still not something I'm willing to do. *SNIP* There's something wrong with the way you're living your life or approaching women if deceit is the ONLY way you can get women to sleep with you. I agree with that! I have trouble believeing that most men lie to get sex all the time. The former is just exploitative, shallow and deceitful. Intentionally manipulating others to fulfill your own base desires is no better than mugging someone at gunpoint in my opinion. That's a harsh analogy! I'm also not sure it's the right one for this situation; but I get your point. Both represent completely selfish acts that will have a direct, immediate, harmful effect on others that may last much longer than whatever benefit you get out of it. Do you mean when a guy lies to get sex as a one night stand or in a relationship?On the other hand, I think it's also very sad that though there are plenty of women out there who enjoy sex for its own sake, they almost expect to be lied to in order to have it. They might call it courtship or romancing but it basically amounts to the same thing. A man just coming out and admitting that he's looking for a sexual connection isn't going to get what he's after. Nope. Complete honesty, even with women who are looking for sex themselves, is usually a bad idea. Women will rarely admit that's what they're after and they expect you to play along. Of course, if we made it known we were going out to get laid we would be labeled as sluts, whores, or worse. I navigate through a tricky middle ground here. I'm not going to misrepresent who I am, make promises I can't keep, feign interest in something I couldn't care less about, or tell someone only what I expect they want to hear for the sake of getting them into bed with me. At the same time, if my interest in a woman is purely sexual (or mostly sexual, I'm usually not attracted to women I am completely disinterested in), I'm not going to tell them right off the bat that's what I want. That's smart. I take it for granted it's implied, most of the time. I won't tell them exactly what they want to hear when it requires fabricating something, but I may omit something if they don't ask about it that might turn them off. We all do that, that's no biggie.
njqt, re: my lying:mugging analogy, I was thinking specifically of men who take advantage of emotionally vulnerable women, lie about their own feelings or level of concern for a partner, convince them that they are getting one thing when in reality they are just getting a one-night stand, then never call the girls again. You're right, the analogy was harsh. Rape would be closer to mugging. What these guys do is more like a sleazy con-artist tricking granny into giving him her credit card numbers. I think emotional scarring can be more significant than losing your wallet, though.
continuing to sulk really doesn't change the way things are. In fact it more or less ensures they never will.
Insofar as I don't think there really is such a thing, I'll agree with you.
On the other hand I spent years strongly resenting guys who I felt like got a lot of attention and sex from women while I was getting none. moping around like viking is now. I've said before that I've had more than my share of girls. I have no room to complain. but I'm no Casanova. My social skills are truly unexceptional.
Principessa
Expert Member
Thank you for the breakdown, I understand exactly what you mean now. :smile: I guess I was confused because I've never been in that situation.
I do think there is such a thing as an "average man". Also below, and above average ones too.
I can't say about your social skills, but your exceptional height has to be worth something. So is your very exceptional cock size. Your looks is above average too.
No, not everyone lies to get things. I've never lied to get sex. I don't know what I'd even lie about...never even thought about it. I don't think I'd be able to enjoy it, knowing I lied. I guess some people are raised to think that is acceptable.
It actually turns me off to a woman if she would fall for a man's lies. Like if she told me she fell for lies before I'd think she was dumb. And if she is just playing some sort of mind game, that's also a turn off. I like people that don't like to deceive themselves.
It's a good thing you married him thenBefore we got married, hubby told me that he could go on and on...
He would make sure I got off ...
UM, Yeah..." Why when we do it still the only time he LAST LONG is when I am NOT in the mood?:biggrin1:
:tongue:Really? That surprises me. You always seem to express your thoughts quickly and clearly on LPSG. I assumed that would carry over in real life.
On the other hand, I seem to take much longer to express myself (based on number of posts). And in real life situations I usually don't think quickly enough to express what I want to say.
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