Life advice for confused gay boy

Sexyguy

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I’m in an open relationship and have been for a while, I enjoy the freedom to get with other guys when I get the urge but the more I’ve been with other guys the more it’s made me question whether my bf is the right person for me for the really long term. My life is also complicated by the fact that I’ve been messing around with my best friend for over 3 years now who says he’s straight but is definitely bi and has a long term gf - the sex is great and he 100% has proper feelings for me but even if he left his gf I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with him.

I see my straight friends all getting married and having kids and leading these wholesome lives and over the past few months I feel like more and more inferior in like they’re so happy and doing all this stuff and I’m just going around sucking random dudes dicks and getting fucked up the ass. Don’t get me wrong I love that at the time but afterwards I just feel like not totally fulfilled in life.

Btw I’m totally comfortable being gay and would never change that. I just feel like I want something more now than what I have and have had in the past but being gay I’m at a loss to know how to make that happen.

Sorry if that’s really rambly but just looking for some advice on where to go and what to do.
 
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briacon429

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I’m in an open relationship and have been for a while, I enjoy the freedom to get with other guys when I get the urge but the more I’ve been with other guys the more it’s made me question whether my bf is the right person for me for the really long term. My life is also complicated by the fact that I’ve been messing around with my best friend for over 3 years now who says he’s straight but is definitely bi and has a long term gf - the sex is great and he 100% has proper feelings for me but even if he left his gf I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with him.

I see my straight friends all getting married and having kids and leading these wholesome lives and over the past few months I feel like more and more inferior in like they’re so happy and doing all this stuff and I’m just going around sucking random dudes dicks and getting fucked up the ass. Don’t get me wrong I love that at the time but afterwards I just feel like not totally fulfilled in life.

Btw I’m totally comfortable being gay and would never change that. I just feel like I want something more now than what I have and have had in the past but being gay I’m at a loss to know how to make that happen.

Sorry if that’s really rambly but just looking for some advice on where to go and what to do.
The thing that jumps out at me is how you mentioned getting married and having kids. Is that what you want in life? (It’s ok if it isn’t!) But if you want to settle down and your bf doesn’t— or if he isn’t marriage material— then that may explain why you’re feeling unsatisfied.

If you wanna chat privately, feel free to DM me!
 
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bravesoldier

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My advice may sound shallow, but I don't mean it to be. Many bi/gay men marry women and have families to have the happiness and fulfillment you described, and there is nothing wrong with that. The children and "everyday life" they seek is irreplaceable in its own way. I know because I was a gay man who married and have a family. I divorced, even though my sexuality had nothing to do with the divorce.

I have heard of so many bi/gay men in straight relationships with families who literally ache for sex with men and can't because of being married. Some cheat and have it, some get caught I'm sure and devastate loved ones and all.

What I'm really saying is there is a large chance if these men marry and have children, there most probably will come a time when your cock's desire will overrule, whether it causes a divorce or not. I and many can attest to the fact that sexual desire most of the time wins. Like a terribly funny woman I worked with years ago once said, "this down here, (pointing to her pussy) is stronger than this up here, (pointing to her brain.)

And it's true!
 
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Brodie888

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The grass always looks greener on the other side. You just aren't close enough to see the huge cow turds that are hiding there!

There is no right or wrong, just what suits you in that moment in time. If you think you want more or less from your relationship, it's a discussion that you need to have with your partner. Maybe he also secretly wants to change like you do. Maybe not.

Either way, relationships all have different shelf-life so once you reach the end, there's nothing wrong with starting again if there's nothing left to fight for.
 

sgtrock

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First I don’t believe being gay or straight guarantees happiness. It sounds like your relationship may only be physical. You need a partner who shares your beliefs and your desires. If you truly will that you need a family to be fulfilled then what is stopping you? I have several friends both male and female who have kids with their partners. Being gay doesn’t mean you won’t be a GREAT parent.

As a straight man understand this is my opinion I’m no expert. You do need to seek out happiness that you define not someone else.

good luck
 

piscesminded

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I'd say be wary of what you see from other people to make judgements on as all you see is surface level things that can be perceived as wholesome. It's doubtful that you are living with your friends 24/7 nor are you in their brains to truly see if they are living a wholesome life.

People rarely actually say how they truly feel to people, as this example here you are expressing it to us online rather than your own bf. So with that, it is doubtful your straight friends will be 100% honest sharing with you how their relationships are after marriage and kids.

Sometimes rambling about how you truly feel to people you know and trust in person can lead you to answers you may not find online.