Like Guys until i orgasm then not into dudes

[Mr_Optimism]

It used to happen to me all the time back when I was struggling with my sexuality.

Up until I was about 16 I was sure I was 100% straight. Aside from experimental encounters with friends my age and some locker room looking I never really had much of a desire for men. It wasn't until I discovered gay porn and realized that I could get off to it just as easy, if not easier, than straight porn that I started going hormonally insane. I started vacillating between "I'm gay, I'm not gay". Seriously, it was like that "she loves me, she loves me not" thing one does with flowers. For religious reasons, for societal reasons, and for personal reasons I never could accept that side of myself. I would get this same feeling of regret and disgust anytime I acted on this desire.

It wasn't until I turned 18 and realized that this is normal and that there is nothing wrong with it and accepted that I was bisexual that these feelings recessed. They didn't necessarily go away but they did take a backseat. I was able to cope with it and found the happy medium. The most important thing to do is be able to vocalize it to yourself. I can stress enough how important that is. It may not seem like a lot but here's something that worked for me. Tell yourself: "I'm bisexual" or "I find guys attractive" but say it aloud maybe in an empty room or bathroom mirror. If you get comfortable with hearing it and saying it you may get comfortable with feeling it. Something may come from it or nothing may come from it but you will feel better at the end of the day.

It's all about acceptance. Regret is denial.

 

[HungThickProf]

I have a real hard time understanding how a guy who wants to suck cock, or wants to be bent over the kitchen table with a dick up his ass, considers himself 99% straight. I don't fantasize about being fucked on the kitchen table, and I'm way past 1% gay. Just sayin . . .

I think I love you. Keep it real.

 

[bosatbk]

I'm like that with women. Seriously though, you are not alone. It happens to a lot of guys. This is where a lot of gay-bashing comes in to play. Lots of guys are into it until they nut, then they want to kick some ass to make themselves feel better. There are plenty of gay men who are just the same way. They are so mentally set thinking that being gay or doing any gay act is just wrong. A very good friend of ours who is 46 years old was seeing a therapist up to last year for this very same reason. He's been an out gay man for his whole adult life & always been attracted to men but whenever he acted upon his feelings & desires, he would feel remorseful & guilty. Talking about your feelings is the first step & hopefully you'll be able to work things out & feel better about yourself.

Very nice, true and honest post. Deal with your feelings, talk about them and understand them. Being true and honest with yourself and what you feel will greatly help you. Good luck man.

 

[479644]

This is amazing I felt like I was the only one with this problem, I would get so worked up for guys, but as soon as I ejaculated, it was all gone, all that lust for cock just vanishes.

I never imagined this actually being a very common issue amongst men. I still wonder though that now that some of my friends know im bisexual, I tend to still want to like that guy even afterwards. Its psychological it seems like.

 

[arthur]

With all due respect to pleasureboy and his explanation of the natural physiological responses men experience after orgasm, which in extreme cases is called post-coital tristess, we're talking about two different things here. Most of the respondents have expressed feelings of guilt, shame and revulsion after jacking off to male-centric, phallic-centric porn or after having sex with other men. They do not express having the same response after having sex with women. You can rationalize till the cows come home, but it's not biology - it's social conditioning and internalized homophobia that's causing those feelings. De Nile is a big ol river.

Genius...maxcok being the voice of reason once again...

...from what I read most of these experiences seem to have a pubescent struggling with your identity/sexuality degree to them... would love to be proven wrong?!?

well -- i would kinda agree with flexx -- totallty into my wife, and women, but the thought of a dick makes me hard -- i would like to be over the kitchen table with a dick in my ass -- would be first time -- while i suck her -- or, i would like to sit across the room and watch her suck another cock! or, isuck the cock, she sucks the other wife!

Oh darling...'can we talk?!'...we need to take a little trip into the 'Futile Percentages' thread...

 

[cardiffbi28]

Thanks guys, this has been a really helpful read... I'm married, love my wife, and gave great sex with her, but when I'm horny, on my own and fancy a wank I always gravitate to gay and bisexual porn. I get so turned on by the thought of other guys and regularly jerk off on cam with other blokes which I find incredibly satisfying. The issue comes when I get myself so horny and fantasing about other guys that I take the next step and hook up with someone for 'sex' (can be a wank, suck, or even tried anal a few times). The trouble is without fail it has been disappointing and each time i have felt so remorsful and always promise myself that I won't do it again.

But eventually I build up the need(?) and courage to do it again. This all started in my early 20's and now 10 years on I am no further forward other than having at least been able to admit to myself that I am bi. I have and will never tell my wife and I have come to terms with the fact that I just get incredibly sexually turned in by other men sometimes. I have always thought I was a fraud and a coward for being like this, but thus thread has been really comforting to at least know I am not completely alone.

 

[deleted3782]

Hey guys title says it all i have some gay attributes but also like girls, but i jack off to gay porn but as soon as I come i cant stand guys or gay porn, i cant imagine having anal sex, and could never swallow cum. Does anyone else out there have the same issues?

I'm totally the same way...in reverse. When I'm super horny I imagine fucking pussy, making a woman squirm and feel awesome, and I love to watch straight porn. Thinking about all that gives m a great hard cum. Once I shoot, the whole idea of fucking a woman is immediately foreign to me and the last thing I'd want to do. I haven't fucked a woman since I was a kid...and never in the way I fantsize about.

The way I deal with it is to understand its the way I'm wired and accept it as one of my bizarre exwhyzisms. It makes life more interesting, doesn't it?

 

[NCbear]

I'm totally the same way...in reverse. When I'm super horny I imagine fucking pussy, making a woman squirm and feel awesome, and I love to watch straight porn. Thinking about all that gives m a great hard cum. Once I shoot, the whole idea of fucking a woman is immediately foreign to me and the last thing I'd want to do. I haven't fucked a woman since I was a kid...and never in the way I fantsize about.

The way I deal with it is to understand its the way I'm wired and accept it as one of my bizarre exwhyzisms. It makes life more interesting, doesn't it?

Hmmm. Interesting. Sometimes I feel this way as well. It's the way I was able to write the heterosexual sex fantasy I shared with you all here on LPSG.

NCbear (who hasn't yet explored that side of my sexuality, and may not ever )

 

[D_fvwtgcx]

Hi, this discussion is an interesting one..

we all are sexual, it is just a sexual response. Mostly the reason people seem to feel uncomfortable or want to "get it over with/ done with it." , is purely due to society telling everyone that it is wrong to be with the same sex. However, it is the same with the opposite sex. If you do not have a deeper connection with whomever you are sexually involved with of course you are going to want it to be done after climax, and you will want to move on. It will be intense & draw you back when you are deeply connected with the other person whether male or female. What you are doing is exploring that curiosity enjoying it for the moment then wanting to move on.. Take a look at how often do you want that experience? How often would you prefer a different experience?

The reason you feel it is right with a woman is due to society telling you that is accepted. It's just like lying. The first time you told a lie, you most likely felt bad, and probably didn't want to do it again. I'm sure you have. However, some lies are accepted, such as lying to children about Santa Claus, Tooth fairy, etc. Some gay/bi situations are accepted, Lesbians are largely accepted where gays are not. It all will depend on you in the inside, accept that you like to get some type of sexual gratification from the same sex every once and a while, however, know if you are going to have this sexual experience, you should go through with it fully for the other individual involved, try to hold your orgasm back until the other individual is close to orgasm as well. That way when it is over both of you can be done with it.. hahaha.

 

[rob_just_rob]

I think this must be a pretty common phenomenon. I have some tremendously kinky fantasies, and have done some pretty kinky stuff in real life. And I'm the same way... as soon as I cum (i.e. am no longer turned on), I sometimes feel a bit embarassed/shocked at what I was doing or thinking.

The key here, IMO, is to recognize that the post-orgasm feeling is as artificial as the pre-orgasm feeling. Your real tastes/preferences/whatever are somewhere in the middle, between those two extremes of turnon and distaste.

I wouldn't worry about it too much... but recognize that when you're playing with someone else, that they may not understand the sudden 180 degree turn in your preferences. Got to keep in mind that the other person involved is a real person, and not a fantasy prop.

 

[mogwaigizmo]

Like many others - I am glad I found this thread!

I have agree with different things different people have said. For me (personally) it was originally due to myself struggling with my sexuality. Now, I'm fully accepting of my sexual preferences and don't myself into any 'group' per say.

So now, if after I have cum I become disinterested in someone, it's usually because I don't have any form of attraction to them other than physical. I have been lucky enough to meet one or two guys whom with I have had an attraction thats more than sexual - and after climaxing I have hung around and had a cuddle, and if so inclined had a second go!

But it's different things for different people - that's what makes us all so interesting!

 

[SweatsBulge]

All I can state is that sexuality is just sooooo complex. I'm astounded with its complexity...but I do go with the flow.
Go with what floats your boat. That's really all I can say.

 

[7"24]

I am so stoked this post has received so much attention proving that we are not all crazy. :biggrin1:

 

[jd03160]

I like to jack off to gay porn, but once I orgasm, thats it. Do I feel remorse? No, but the only time I am aroused by men is when masturbating. I have had sex with a guy before and I felt a bit gross after that.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

find a hot tgirl and give that a go! just what the doctor ordered.

 

[Tremaine]

I am so stoked this post has received so much attention proving that we are not all crazy. :biggrin1:

Just because there are so many of you - doesn't mean of necessity that you are not crazy. There is no necessary and sufficient link let along a confirmed causal link. :smile:

 

[daftman]

sexually confused -- hell no. just like dicks, and my wife certainly knows that!!

 

[luka82]

You need to be more comfortable in your own skin.

 

[thickcan]

I agree with you. I enjoy looking at cock and rubbing a well defined mans body. Thats as far as it goes. Must have been the curiousity in the Locker Rooms as a young jock?

 

[223790]

Very interesting stuff. Thanks for sharing experiences. I had no idea there were people that had those feelings. Maybe if more people realized that sexuality was not black and white but many shades of colors, they would be more friendly to those who are different from them. Guess I am asking too much...

I agree with your statement above. I stopped trying to label myself years ago because it's just too damn confusing! As I mentioned before, I have only had heterosexual encounters, so I consider myself straight. However, I fantasize about guys as well. I've never acted on it, and never will (I love my wife too much to do that). Does it make me partly gay because of these fantasies that will most likely never happen? You are what you are, but our society is obsessed with labels because we feel a need to put everything into nice neat categories. I don't think sexuality is 100% black and white. It's fluid and incredibly complex. This is the reason why I removed my % from my profile of straight/gay. I just am what I am. :smile: