Like Guys until i orgasm then not into dudes

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223790

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I'm like all of you guys here. For me, I view men as sexual beings....and nothing more. I have no desire to have any relationship with another guy outside of friendship, but I still have a desire to have sex with them. Take for instance today...I was standing in line to pick up some take away at a Japanese restraunt. The guy standing in front of me looked like he had just come from a work out at the gym. He was ripped, good looking, masculine, and very sexually pleasing to my eye. The sexual side of me got really turned on (I chubbed up some), and the thought of having sex with him was there, but after a few seconds of getting turned on, it was like the switch was turned off. I was immediately turned off after I started to check him out. I saw his pecs, his body hair, and his vpl, and for some reason that was like having a bucket of ice water dumped on me.

I love gay porn, and one of my biggest fantasies is to have sex with another man. however, I feel that if I were to have sex with a guy, the second I came I would freak out and be totally disgusted with myself and with what I had done. I have similar feelings after I cum from watching gay porn, just not as strong. I know some will say that I'm just deep in the closet, but I'm really not.

In my mind women= sensuality, love, sexuality
men= animalistic sexuality

Exact same for me bro! All a guy that I'm lusting after has to do is open his mouth and start talking, and I lose interest immediately. There is absolutely no emotional connection there at all for me (like I have with women).
 
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223790

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In my case, that would be a definate yes! Without going into great detail here (and to keep from getting the thread off course), let me explain why I agree.

From ages ~6-~13, I was sexually abused by my grandfather. As a young child, he took it upon himself to humiliate me sexually (telling my friends at school that I had a small pecker).

When I hit puberty, I became overweight (probably had to do with the fact I was taken off Ritilan at age 13 <had been on it since age 5>) and I developed rather large breasts, that I still have today. The breasts didn't form due to the fat, rather an imbalance in hormones (see gynecomastia Gynecomastia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia). I was harassed by my grandfather (who would say things to me along the lines of 'I'll bet you have bigger titties than any of the girls in your school') along with the other boys in school. Well, I eventually ended up becoming aneroxic and bulemic, and was diagnosed having Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I overcame the anexoria/bulemia (went to treatment), and I am now back to being slightly overweight. Thing is, I've still got large breasts. My body is literally disfigured due to the rapid gain and loss of weight (I have a LOT of loose hanging skin). When I see men that I am 'attracted' to, its more about their physical assets rather than a truly sexual attraction. The same can be said with gay porn. The gay porn I watch involve very handsome, masculine, buff men. In my mind, I desire (more like fanticise) to touch a man like that to feel what a ''real man'' feels like, as I highly doubt I'll ever be able to acheive a body like that without undergoing massive reconstructive surgery.

When I look at my naked body in the mirror (which is a huge challenge for me), I see my cock and balls, but I almost feel detached from them, as all I can see or focus on are my breasts and flabby looking body. I guess my mind associates a sexual relationship with a man as being the only way I'll ever be to 'experience' having a body like that.

I'm going to go on and go on the attack here. I know there will be some who will read this post, and then post something along the lines of me being a deeply repressed homo. I'm not. I've been in therapy for MANY years, and have struggled with my sexual identity as a man, and with my sexual orientation. If you don't have anything positive to contribute to this post, then please keep your fucking mouth shut.

The subject of this particular thread is something I take very personally, and there very well may be others out there who have gone thru some of the same things I've gone through and are struggling with themselves as I have. Please don't assume that everyone who can relate with the OP is a closet case.

Man, I feel for you. If your grandfather is still alive, I would have that SOB charged with sexual assault, so he ends up spending his remaining years in a prison cell. If they can prosecute priests today that did this sort of thing decades ago, I'm sure they can still prosecute your grandfather. He needs to be punished and humiliated for what he did to you, so that he fully comprehends the gravity of his actions and the damage he caused in your life.
 
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223790

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Have to mostly agree. There may be something to post-coital tristress or whatever.... However mostly guys get over this as they get older because they just don't care about social sexual mores any more.

Anyway, mores vary from culture to culture. That much is true and obvious.

Very true. After reaching my mid 30s, I stopped giving a F**k that others thought, and I started being more honest with myself about my feelings. I don't think there is any guy out there that doesn't have the occasional sexual thought about other guys. A friend of mine in university was the biggest homophobe that ever lived (to the point of being absurd), yet I saw him checking me out when I was nude more times than I can count. Why admitting these feelings is so terrifying to some guys is completely beyond me.
 

maxcok

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I agree with your statement above. I stopped trying to label myself years ago because it's just too damn confusing! As I mentioned before, I have only had heterosexual encounters, so I consider myself straight. However, I fantasize about guys as well. I've never acted on it, and never will (I love my wife too much to do that). Does it make me partly gay because of these fantasies that will most likely never happen? You are what you are, but our society is obsessed with labels because we feel a need to put everything into nice neat categories. I don't think sexuality is 100% black and white. It's fluid and incredibly complex. This is the reason why I removed my % from my profile of straight/gay. I just am what I am. :smile:
Beautiful attitude. Beautiful response.

This too:
Very true. After reaching my mid 30s, I stopped giving a F**k that others thought, and I started being more honest with myself about my feelings. I don't think there is any guy out there that doesn't have the occasional sexual thought about other guys. A friend of mine in university was the biggest homophobe that ever lived (to the point of being absurd), yet I saw him checking me out when I was nude more times than I can count. Why admitting these feelings is so terrifying to some guys is completely beyond me.
 

NOINRI

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I'm the same way when performing self oral.

I like the idea of it and want to until my semen gets in my mouth. Then I get grossed out by it and spit it out and never want to do it again.

I've read up on this and it's fairly common and normal and I suppose it's similar to what you, the OP, is experiencing.

It's a state of mind thing and all of the chemicals coarsing through it. That natural high. Once you've orgasmed and are coming down off of it the way you view some things can change. Like inhibitions and alcohol. No big deal.
 

mandoman

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I feel the same way about eating my own cum.
While I am fucking, it seems incredibly hot.
The second I have cum, all desire has left me.
 

D_Edwin Eatser

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I've only been having sex with men for a few years, up to then it was just a fantasy. Like so many posters here, when I'm with a guy I'm totally absorbed in the sex, but as soon as we've cum I just want to leave him, and think "why on earth was I fucking him, why were we kissing?". Occasionally I get dressed and leave the sauna at this stage, but sometimes I go and have a coffee then before long I'm with another guy and get the same pleasure followed by the same guilt. With a woman it's always been completely different, I enjoy staying with her after I've cum, cuddling and kissing, and I want her again pretty soon (unless I'm swinging, when it's on to someone else). Sex bring us closer together, even if it's a one night stand.

I imagine it's because I spent so long keeping my sexual feelings for men suppressed - even though I'm in a position to be able to have sex with guys now, my conditioning is still telling me it's not right. This is the case even if my wife is present, which happens when we're with a bi swinging couple.

Wish I'd become bi earlier, or is it something profound about being a male? My wife doesn't get guilt feelings after lesbian sex, she's perfectly happy to kiss, cuddle and start again, over and over.
 
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maxcok

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^ Excellent post. This says it all:

I imagine it's because I spent so long keeping my sexual feelings for men suppressed - even though I'm in a position to be able to have sex with guys now, my conditioning is still telling me it's not right.
There are a lot of guys who could take a lesson from this -- if they are man enough to take an honest look at themselves, try to understand their feelings, and let their self-awareness lead them forward. I hope they do.
 

cocktaste

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7"24;2929526 said:
Hey guys title says it all i have some gay attributes but also like girls, but i jack off to gay porn but as soon as I come i cant stand guys or gay porn, i cant imagine having anal sex, and could never swallow cum. Does anyone else out there have the same issues?

It's purely psychological. You have an extreme hangup. You need to figure out what to do about that.
 

SprkE08

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it's not a problem or an issue, you guys are more than likely bisexual.

the sooner you own it, the better you'll feel about yourself.

allow me to tell you how big of a confidence boost it is to realize you're sexy to women AND men...
 

daftman

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that is what i figured recently -- my wife is certainly bisexual -- i encourage it -- and has been for years -- for me, though it has been recent -- couple years -- at age 50. I do not deny it -- and she knows it, it is there! i like small bathing suits, i shave quite a bit more, love dicks -- never had a dick tho -- -someday soon, with my wife right there!
 

tallandhung

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Dear sho94 2000,

Wow, I adore your pics. Undies are a great turn-on for me ! Photos of you in briefs are magnif. Hopefully my pic of me clad in ballet dancer tights will arrive in observable form as an attachm. On Halloween I 'stole the show' making so many of the female guests at that Hallown party feel dizzy and desire my crotch !

I enjoy undies especially panties on men. Your preferences plse.

signed admiringly,

tallandhung
 

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D_George Jizzson

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I think it is purely a fantasy for you. There are millions of women that watch lesbian porn, but would never act on the fantasy. It is more acceptable to watch lesbian porn, no one questions their sexuality. Now if you start trying to hook up with men, then I would say you are at least curious.
 

D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead

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it's not a problem or an issue, you guys are more than likely bisexual.

the sooner you own it, the better you'll feel about yourself.

allow me to tell you how big of a confidence boost it is to realize you're sexy to women AND men...


SprkE08 is right, IMO. Seeing yourself as bi opens more options, and helps you feel better about whatever you happen to be feeling.

Now, in my younger, more promiscuous days, there were times when I'd cum ... sometimes with a female partner, sometimes a male ... and just want them to get the hell out as quickly as possible, 'cause I was just DONE with them. I thought they were hot, but didn't want to do anything but fuck them. Sometimes, you just gotta accept that you want to blow your load with someone hot but all you feel for them is something sexual.
 

DiscoBoy

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Before I came to terms with being gay, I only ever thought about men while I was horny, and when I finally came, those thoughts and feelings would disappear, and I'd try and convince myself I wasn't gay.

Just allow yourself to be introspective and explore the way you feel about men.
 
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414282

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See I'm the same way. I'm not attracted to guys which is why I know I'm not gay.. A little bi never hurt anyone. I'm more attracted to the sight of a penis than the guy attached to it. I'd never do anything more than bj/hj because the rest of the stuff I just think is kinda gross (no offense) but I'm more attracted to women and their womenly wonders than anything so that's why I know I'm not gay (hence the 10% on my profile). But if I'm swimming in hormones and extremely horny, then damn I could give a shit who/what's going on but I'm still not gonna do the rest of the stuff that gay guys do