Like men but gay sex just turns me off. What can I do?

[BigPackage]

Hey. I've never had any sexual relationship with a man but it's getting more tempting. If I'm honest I'd love to experience a man kissing me and being in a sexual situation but... the thought of licking a man's bum hole turns me right off. I mean we all know what comes out of there and putting my tongue in there, yuck I don't think I could do it. Obviously anal sex is quite dodgy with STD's and stuff so all that is really putting me off trying even though I fancy a lot of guys. I guess some people would say 'You don't have to do all that - just have oral sex' or something but come on I think most guys who would go to bed with you would expect a bit more than that. Any advice?

 

[Matt987]

Just try it, even if it turns u off, u may change ur mind later. And have do things to u, so u know how good it feels...

 

[Fire Agate]

you dont have to lick a guys ass you know. ive never done it or had it done on me but im shure it wouldnt be much of a problem if he washed his butt with soap and water you know?

 

[unclespunk1049]

Hi Bigpackage.

You would be surprised at how many gay men don't lick another's bum hole just for the reasons you state. I didn't have sex with another guy till my mid twenties and when I did, he and I only did what we felt comfortable doing. Sex is to be enjoyed and NOT doing things you are uncomfortable with. And, in the majority of the sexual encounters I have had, very few individuals were comfortable performing analingus. If you ever want to try licking someone's bum, make sure that person has cleaned well (ask him!) and also, use a dental dam when you do it. These can be picked up in a drug store and are a good barrier to prevent picking up any diseases. (PS: Don't use Saran Wrap or plastic wrap because they are too thin and too porous.)

Uncle

 

[midlifebear]

Unclespunk speaks the truth. And don't forget that the majority of Hepatitis B transmissions comes from rimming -- men or women. It's also passed on from swallowing, too. Get yourself tested for Hep B and if you luck out and are negative, pay the several hundred dollars for the series of vacinations. It's a lot cheaper than finding yourself yellow and unable to get out of bed for a month or more.

That said, if you end up with a steady male partner and decide to go for the gold (the sensation of being rimmed is rather spectacular once you're comfortable with the idea) always make sure you've both cleaned up good (showering together is a great fore play for this actitivity) and maybe use a flavored water-based lube.

Just a suggestion.

 

[Hellboy0]

Unclespunk speaks the truth. And don't forget that the majority of Hepatitis B transmissions comes from rimming -- men or women. It's also passed on from swallowing, too. Get yourself tested for Hep B and if you luck out and are negative, pay the several hundred dollars for the series of vacinations. It's a lot cheaper than finding yourself yellow and unable to get out of bed for a month or more.

That said, if you end up with a steady male partner and decide to go for the gold (the sensation of being rimmed is rather spectacular once you're comfortable with the idea) always make sure you've both cleaned up good (showering together is a great fore play for this actitivity) and maybe use a flavored water-based lube.

Just a suggestion.

Hear hear!

Everyone that's posted on this thread has been giving really good advice. Not all guys like to do all things sexually speaking. As an example, look at the number of women here who say their partners hate to eat their pussies.

Personally, eating a guys ass is one of my life's pleasures. But saying that, I don't want to do that to all guys either. Thank god there is so much of the body that can be played with!!!!:biggrin1:

 

[deleted142346]

Dental dams! Seriously? If it takes applying a square of latex to some guy's butthole (or chick's va-ja-jay) and then bouncing and smearing your tongue around that (instead of the skin and whatnot) then I'd rather "just say no" or wait until the object of my affection (or lust) and I get clear about our state of infections. Of course there have been a few times when I took the risk and did neither. Bad me.

I once went to a safe sex lecture and a strident woman was coaching on the use of dental dams -- including advising the use of jam to cover the latex taste! It failed the ridiculous test then and still does today. But then so does a blow job with the addition of a condom involved...

 

[Damian Johnson]

Dude its all about how someone makes you feel sexually and your emotions regardless of whether they male or female. If the person and it feels right then enjoy yourself

Sex whether its gay or straight is what you and your partner make it define it and what you are comfortable with

Only do what feels right and you are happy with. Your partner will accept this if they are caring and nice and respect you

You don't need to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Just be open and communicate with the person you are with what you enjoy we all like to please and enjoy

If you don't want anal play or sex well that's just fine

There's lots of other things to enjoy
Relax be yourself communicate with your partner and enjoy dude

 

[Bbucko]

Since when is knowing and respecting one's limits a bad thing?

For the record, I know several men who are oral-only. For much of my 20s, I was, too.

 

[Beef Stroganoff]

All of the above is such good advice. The only supplementary advice I think I can give you - and I'll probably catch hell for it - is for you to consider trying a popper before you engage in any kind of gay sexual encounter. I no longer use them, myself, as I tend to awake with a throbbing headache (in my head head) the next day. However, if you're feeling any kind of ambivelance about a sexual act during the heat of the rut, poppers can go a long way to relaxing certain inhibitions, esp. relating to the ass.

And by poppers, I don't mean the jalepeno ones you get from Chile's.

 

[Primal_Savage]

you dont have to lick a guys ass you know. ive never done it or had it done on me but im shure it wouldnt be much of a problem if he washed his butt with soap and water you know?

Agreed! I may be a pit, tit and crotch slut, but the thought of rimming just bums me out. That said, my ass is still virgin territory and being rimmed or fingered is a quick turnoff.

 

[shinato]

rim jobs aren't for everyone and alot of guys don't even ask for them. but those who do engage in it take precautions to make sure they are "fresh". indeed there are even alot of striaght guy that enjoy a good tongue lashing on their ass from their women. you have alot of nerve ending down there that make it the equivalent to male cunnilingus. still some people shy away from it and that's just a given so most people don't force it. but it you don't do it perhaps some time be brave enough to let someone try it on you.

 

[Lex]

Hey. I've never had any sexual relationship with a man but it's getting more tempting. If I'm honest I'd love to experience a man kissing me and being in a sexual situation but... the thought of licking a man's bum hole turns me right off. I mean we all know what comes out of there and putting my tongue in there, yuck I don't think I could do it. Obviously anal sex is quite dodgy with STD's and stuff so all that is really putting me off trying even though I fancy a lot of guys. I guess some people would say 'You don't have to do all that - just have oral sex' or something but come on I think most guys who would go to bed with you would expect a bit more than that. Any advice?

I think you may have to just wait until the the time/guy is right and you want to experience certain things. I don't think that anyone realizes they like men and then wants to experience every sexual item on the MM menu overnight.

I recall that I began with just kissing and being on the receiving end of oral. That evolved into cuddling and topping. From there I started giving oral (as it felt right) and, when I was in a relationship with a man that I trusted and loved, I started to experience a little anal play and eventually began to bottom a bit. Later, with a second man, I tried rimming (its not something I do everyday and it is not something I would do with just anyone.

Now-I have tried many of the items on the menu and my hubby and I try new (old) things to keep each other satisfied.

What I am trying to say is-it may take time, the right person(s) and experimentation for you to discern what you really enjoy. My first time bottoming was not my favorite. Now, I can bottom for my hubby and it is an amazing time.

The elephant in the room is that any anal play must be preceded by cleansing and washing the anal canal and rectum thoroughly.

 

[cklover]

For crying out loud....plenty of gay men are oral-only! These days it's easy to find guys who share ANY preferences. Any gay man who gives you attitude about not being interested in any type of anal sex, and there are many out there, is pushing some kind of obnoxious personal agenda. Just say thanks but no thanks and move on...:wink:

 

[Hockeytiger]

Since when is knowing and respecting one's limits a bad thing?

For crying out loud....plenty of gay men are oral-only! These days it's easy to find guys who share ANY preferences. Any gay man who gives you attitude about not being interested in any type of anal sex, and there are many out there, is pushing some kind of obnoxious personal agenda. Just say thanks but no thanks and move on...:wink:

If I may kindly borrow the phrasing of the first quote and add in some sentiments from the second, "Since when is knowing and respecting each others limits a bad thing?"

 

[B_Marius567]

Hey. I've never had any sexual relationship with a man but it's getting more tempting. If I'm honest I'd love to experience a man kissing me and being in a sexual situation but... the thought of licking a man's bum hole turns me right off. I mean we all know what comes out of there and putting my tongue in there, yuck I don't think I could do it. Obviously anal sex is quite dodgy with STD's and stuff so all that is really putting me off trying even though I fancy a lot of guys. I guess some people would say 'You don't have to do all that - just have oral sex' or something but come on I think most guys who would go to bed with you would expect a bit more than that. Any advice?

no man has licked my bum hole

 

[novice_btm]

no man has licked my bum hole

But being 99% straight, I'm not sure you're the target audience either. :wink:

I've never rimmed a guy, but I have been rimmed a couple times. I don't really have much interest in ass myself, but sure am glad others like mine. :biggrin1:

 

[OmnibusGuy]

Judging from the title of the topic you might not be gay, just curious?

 

[inside_man]

BigPackage-
Take it all slowly. With experience, you find out what appeals to you and what doesn't. You should also remember that preferences can change over time. When I first found out what rimming was (I had heard the word but had no clue what it referred to), I was horrified. Now giving and receiving a rimjob is definitely all on the menu. But that acceptance and desire came over time and with experience.
One thing I think is helpful is not to judge certain sexual acts just because they don't appeal to you-alot of people do this: 'getting fucked is nasty', 'rimming is gross'. Maybe these things don't appeal to you. Maybe they don't appeal to you today. I've been fortunate enough to have had alot of sexual experiences and now I have a good understanding of what I like and don't like. But if I had written a script before those experiences and had stuck to it, my sex life wouldn't be nearly as rich as it is today...and I have a fantastic sex life. I'm also hiv- and have managed to avoid major STDs. Those 2 goals are not mutually exclusive.

 

[majormadness]

I'm an advocate of the "try it once, then perhaps never again" philosophy. If penetration doesn't work out for you, you could use these handy ideas:
- Blowjobs are amazing
- You can always go Ancient Greek style and penetrate between the thighs
Hope I helped a little!
~ Major