Limits

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah, Dec 8, 2006.

  1. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    Ladies just wondering is there a limit you have set for yourself of things you will not do. Also gents has a woman refuse any specific request you have asked for?

    My personal 'No go' is a giving oral after anal. I had an ex hint towards trying it once and i pretty quickly put an end to that idea
     
  2. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    One of my favorite subjects, Lee.

    Knowing, understanding, and respecting a partner's limits is important for a fulfilling relationship - whether it's an anonymous one-night stand, a regular fuck-buddy, or a life-long mate, and regardless of the nature of the relationship.

    My experience with BdSm practice has illustrated this perfectly. Prior to learning about BdSm, I was under the impression that it was all about either inflicting or receiving pain. I have since learned that it is all about the sharing of energy, self-exploration, and examining your own limits - which ones are non-negotiable, which ones can be tested, which ones can be pushed, and which ones can be surpassed.

    One of my non-negotiable limits is, no penetrative sex without a condom. One of my limits I allow to be tested is being blindfolded. I don't like the blindfold, but if I trust the person I am with, I will allow it, as long as he understands that if I use the safe word, the blindfold immediately comes off. I try to push myself NOT to use the safe word, to see if I can overcome those issues within me.

    Does any of that make sense?
     
  3. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2005
    Messages:
    421
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NW England
    Been refused anal.

    Except one time my girlfriend said she'd let me do anal if we went ice skating (I HATE it...probably because I can't ice skate very well). Anyway, I still didn't want to. Not that I'm necessarily huge, but arseholes are so tiny! The stretching involved there can't be good for either of us. My friend who did anal said it actually hurt HIM, as well as her.

    Front bum is so much more accomodating and wetter. And we all know, wetter is better :wink:

    The time limit on a bj for me is also a few minutes. After that she complains of jaw ache...:redface:

    Positions are also limited but hopefully that will 'open up' as it were, she gets used to it and I learn to go slow.

    Things I wouldn't do are kiss a girl when she has a mouthful of my cum (if that ever happens) or lick her out with cum inside her or dribbling out. But I hear about people doing that in the heat of the moment so who knows. But right now...eww

    Apart from that, I'm pretty open. If someone wants to let me do anal on them I probably wouldn't say no, just to see what its like. But I would be careful cos I don't like hurting people. And if someone wants to suck me off for more than two minutes I won't object :tongue:
     
  4. Gisella

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    4,872
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Hey Lee...

    Well, I have not had anal yet..than would not do only by being ask but wanting ..really wanting it..plus would not oral after that too.

    There are moves that I myself are the one who choose to do and in control..like slaping penis on my face, sperm on my face like they show in porn do not fanced but it happened because it was sprayed strong and the aim tragettory went wrong...violence and pain moves without both agree by some rules. We talk about things we havent experienced before try it...

    The shoving penis on my face or mouth...I control the depth and I'm the one mouth fucking him, not the oposite, is my moves and he is 'allowed' to be giving feedback as talking how good and blabla and caressing my hair etc..but he will not thrust, is my moves to pleasure him.

    I do observe men's behaviour carefully before getting into the sack.. because I do have preference for very masculine and a different kind of 'good natural macho man', and the wrong male can see my actions as green flags in his mind to go to far.. macho type agressive and controling that I will have problems with...

    If I smell a porno affictionado wanting to play moves he see being done at porn girls... is a turn of to me too.

    Right now is what I remember...
     
  5. Lordpendragon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2004
    Messages:
    3,880
    Likes Received:
    1
    No one has ever asked me to do anything that I wasn't willing to try and noone has ever refused anything that I have suggested.

    I don't know if that makes me boring or me and my partners beyond the pale of perversion :redface:
     
  6. Lito

    Lito New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2006
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Brazil
    Anal is a no-no for me.
    I have no interest in doing anal with any woman (or anyone, btw).
     
  7. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    If he agreed to take a shower and wash himself before I gave him oral, fine. If not, forget it. That's jeopardizing someone's health.

    I won't do anything that involves degradation or pain. I'm not talking about a smack on the ass, being tugged on the nipples until they're deliciously sore, or playing a dom/sub role. I'm talking serious pain. If someone pulls my hair too hard, they'll know right away. Once someone smacked my pussy hard and my knee-jerk reaction was to smack him in the balls which I did. And HE was pissed at ME. :rolleyes:

    *shakes head*

    And it's a personal preference but I don't like facials. If anyone had the nerve to pull a Houdini on me i'd probably backhand them. But again, personal preference.
     
  8. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    <taking notes on MB's post...>
     
  9. va_lk_yr_ie

    va_lk_yr_ie Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    362
    Likes Received:
    0
    Let's see:

    - I don't like someone cumming in my face intentionally (accidents happen from time to time, those can be dealt with). Mouth is OK if I trust the person, we're at a level where we've skipped condoms and I've indicated that I want it (sometimes I do as it can be a real turn-on to suck someone until he comes in your mouth).

    - No form of vaginal or oral sex after anal without washing up (for obvious health reasons). I'm not too fond of anal sex but it does happen from time to time, prefer a condom for this.

    - Like mercurialbliss, no degradation or pain, I have no problems with roleplaying, I like being a bit submissive with the right man and enjoy a slap or two on my behind or my head lightly pulled back when he's taking me from behind. But serious pain or degradation, no thanks.

    - Other than those I'm pretty open for at least trying everything once to see if I like it or not.
     
  10. ClaireTalon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    1,947
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Puget Sound
    Oral after anal is no limit for me - because so far, I've not had anal yet. But if I had tried that, I wouldn't allow oral without some cleaning-up in between. Yuck, we're not in porn here.

    That aside, I don't like any form of hard BDSM or ties. Being tied-up or doing that with your partner makes sex too much single-action, which I don't like. I prefer it if my partner is free to roam, fight back and get us both some combat marks ;-)
     
  11. Rubenesque

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,708
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Will you give me a hundred quid please :biggrin1:
     
  12. Gisella

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    4,872
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Yep...I love the we warriors fighting going on too, Claire...:rambo:

    But I can be taken prisioner by an animalistic haka male..for exemple...

    Hmmm...animalistic male does not scare me a bit ..the oposite..it makes me want jump at him when he finishes his warriors haka moves...

    And than I fainted into his strong arms embrace..with a half open eye..ready for action...

    :swordfight:
     
  13. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Am I the only one who thought of "Clerks 2" when this was read? "You NEVER go ass to mouth!". So, anyway. That's a big no no for me, too. Another no no for me is a guy cumming in my hair. That's just gross. I don't want to have to stop afterwards and go shower either. I don't know very many guys that are into it, but I've met a few. Those are the only things I can think of at the moment.
     
  14. Amygirl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    242
    Likes Received:
    3,047
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Home of the Melbourne Cup and the best coffee
    I don't do full anal penetration but I do like a little play back there. I definitely wouldn't even consider that with my current bf.

    And I'm not a big fan of the facial either. Anywhere but there.

    And animals should be left outside.:eek:
     
  15. happyfeet

    happyfeet New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Earth--the USA portion
    The limits I set depend largely upon the man I'm with.

    I was once with a man that I'd have done anything he wanted, besides bestiality, watersports, and whatever poo-play is called. I trusted him a great deal, though.

    Most men, I won't do anal or try fisting.

    I don't know why going ass to mouth even needs to be stated as a limit. That's just disgusting. LOL
     
  16. Chrysalis

    Chrysalis New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2006
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Rocky Mountain Region
    Since my degree is in Microbiology, I have way too much knowledge about which bacteria exist in the human body, and where.

    Having said that...

    I absolutely love anal. Love it. But I don't allow anal before anything...not vaginal, not oral. I have seen way too many vaginal cultures from women that are infested with fecal bacteria. :yuck:

    I know, disgusting. But true.

    Spreading fecal flora anywhere beyond the region of the anus can also put a woman at risk for Urinary Tract Infection.

    So to handle anal play, we either:

    1) Use a condom carefully and wash up before any other activity
    2) Make it the final activity and then take a shower
    3) Use a butt plug, which can be kept separate from any other things that are occurring

    I sound so goddamn scientific!:rolleyes: I swear, you can take the girl out of the lab...

    That said...my husband really wants to try licking my asshole. I've never let anyone do it, because I know too much about bacteria. The bizarre part is that I'm actually considering letting him do it to me...I just think it would feel so damned good...

    But I'm torn between two desires, because I care about his health.

    Maybe if I got really, really clean first...
     
  17. happyfeet

    happyfeet New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Earth--the USA portion
    Go for it! You won't regret it!

    (recovering germaphobe here)
     
  18. IntoxicatingToxin

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2006
    Messages:
    10,133
    Likes Received:
    152
    Well, after reading the posts after mine, I guess I should add a few things to my list... lol. Starting with anything involving animals, and anything regarding bodily waste!
     
  19. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    I did mention a while ago that a guy wanted me to take a medication to lactate for him..that was shot down pretty quickly..Im not into messing with nature that way.

    The only thing ive had a guy refuse to do for me was kiss and fondle another man (through jeans). I didnt dare ask him to go any further with it as i know it was a HUGE ask for any straight man
     
  20. nismosimo

    nismosimo Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    louisiana
    I've never been asked to do anything I wasn't into. I had a g/f in high school who I lost my virginity to and she let me do anal on her (I wasn't her first but I was her first anal) and she told me she wouldn't do ATM but if I wanted I could put it back in her pussy and then she would suck it. Doesn't matter to me. I have been told no to certain request I've made to other women such as anal or facials but that's about it. I had this one girl that liked to fight during sex (omg, that girl was amazing) and it made the sex 100x better. We would fuck for hours every time we would fuck. About the only thing that she would not do is let me put my dick anywhere after anal and she liked the cum in her ass or on her body. Most times I didn't do anal just b/c I like being sucked off after sex but there were a couple of times that she let me give a facial (to date the only girl that has let me) and I was the only guy that she let do that. We were really into each other and I still talk to her from time to time. She is married now and won't let her hubby do the things we did. She admitted that she liked the taste of cum and has never had anyone cum as much as me which is the reason that she would let me cum anywhere on her so she could watch it.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted