listening to warning bells and noting red flags.

[ManlyBanisters]

Oh, JESUS! Mine was 12 years!

And my best friend from college? Hers was 12 as well. She said to me, "Why didn't you tell me [Jackass] (her ex-hubby) wouldn't treat me well? Why didn't you stop me from marrying him?" My response: "I tried, but you weren't listening."

It's true. We always want what's not good for us. :frown1:

NCbear (who's now much more adept at hearing the chime of those little warning bells and seeing those red flags go up :tongue

I asked my parents same - their answer was somewhat different, "Would you have listened to us if we had said something?" - They had a point. :redface:

Hmm - 'Pessa's was 12 years too - looks like I was 6 months ahead of the game :biggrin:

 

[helgaleena]

ManlyB and Principessa,

I know what you mean. The only cure for attracting 'opposites' into your life is to start filling your life yourself. And it is something that takes many years to notice and get the hang of. It has been a struggle to learn to love and nurture myself sufficiently that I do not attract mini-dictators, ready to guide my life as THEY see fit..

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Thanks for that thought, h.

I was talking about the ex - My current relationship is a totally different thing.

 

[Chase1600]

I love instinct.

I have this philosophy that everyone always tells all the truth all of the time. Just not literally. When the meaning of someone’s words seems to change, when you experience cognitive dissonance, they’re telling you there’s a reason; they’re just not coming out and telling you the reason. But there’s a reason.

When people bring up something disconnected, a non sequitur, it makes sense that it doesn’t make sense and we should have the antennae to catch it. What’s making sense is something we were not expecting and maybe don’t want to hear.

A good example is time. If someone says they don’t have time, what can that mean? Everybody gets 24 hours a day. If you say you don’t have time to meet me, I just didn’t make the cut. Maybe it’s to my disadvantage to call you on it; I’ll pretend to not notice if it’s good enough for me, or serves my needs, but I didn’t make the cut and someone, or some thing else, did.

If we’re talking baseball, and out of no where you start talking about people who are assholes; I’m going to be thinking where did that come from: you’re talking with me and suddenly something makes you think of assholes. Gee thanks.

So I think I’m pretty adept. But who knows. If you’ve never made a fool of yourself, not even once, are you sure you’re having a life?