living with STD- Gental Herpes

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by Frnkd213, Oct 20, 2011.

  1. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Whats it like for you living with Genital Herpes?

    I have GH and my wife has it, she was exposed by an ex. who did not tell her that he had it. Consequently I was exposed. I hold nothing against my wife for my exposure as she had told me prior to engaging in sex. As much as we tried to be careful I got it, kind of relief actually, that was some 27 years ago. Anyway I am finally having the courage to asking this question as it is not something openly discussed seems like anywhere.

    For us when either of us have an outbreak, we tell each other our friend is visiting. I for one do not want to make her feel any guilt or remorse what so ever so I never use it against her or make it seem that way. that is my personal vow, for example when we have an extreme disagreement I do not use that as a "by the way thanks a lot for __________" as the last word, not my style and never will.

    We can usually tell when either of us might be visited: when we have a lack of sleep, catching a cold, stress. All the conditions that may cause an outbreak we are careful to be aware of. Of course that burning sensation is already a sign and many times is the begining of an outbreak. Just got to locate that bugger either on my shaft or pubic area. Pretty consistent locations.

    Anyway I ask this question because a few times when I think about my situation I would wonder how would I handle it lets say if for some reason I lost my wife for whatever reason. Would I seek another partner, or just have a sexless life. My wife is strong with having known that she gave me GH. But if I should meet another or have a casual encounter and find out that that person got GH from me I don't know how I would feel knowing I was responsible for giving this incureable disease to that person. The guilt may be overwhelming.

    Have other members with GH thought about this? How have you lived with GH wheather as one who has it or have a partner, spouse with it? or like us where both have it?

    I know I would disclose the fact that I have GH before any serious relationship or encounter occur, wear condoms, and never engage in sex knowing a symptom has appeared. But more importantly I would need to know that should that person get it how they would feel, I personally do not want a relationship that is fearful of GH, nor one that will not have sex.

    Interesting it seems that GH are rarely discussed as openly as I would think it could be here. Most of the time it is in reference on prevention, that's all good and I hope people listen to that. But for those of us who are living with it sometimes our stories can do more good in prevention. So here I am sharing how I live with it together with my wife and son (who we were afraid of conceiving for fear of exposure when he was born, but the doctors where quite aware and all went well, otherwise a C section was in order).

    Seriously if you have any facts or questions about GH I would be more than interested in hearing about or sharing what I know.

    can I give GH by me giving giving head?
    Can I give GH by having anal sex-me being a bottom (not into it but ask anyway.)


    I recently read in a thread onLPSG that Nitric Oxide can cause an outbreak. Well that was news to me. I have been taking NO for weight training. Quickly I went on line and confirmed that this was fact. Consequently I will limit the use of NO or Arganine. and take lysine (sp) to to prevent outbreaks.
     
  2. minimag

    minimag Active Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2009
    Messages:
    682
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Las Vegas (NV, US)
    Skin on skin contact is all it takes, from what I've heard.
     
  3. guy83

    guy83 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2011
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    is it usually like 1 pimple or a cluster?

    and whats the early signs of it? how it firsts appear?
     
  4. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Initially for me soon after sex, a day or two, pubic area itched like hell. So you scratch, than in time it starts to burn, rather than itch. Blisters appear, within 4-5 days you know, or at least I knew I had GH. Visit to the free clinic verified it.

    After, that initial "massive" outbreak, any out breaks was smaller 1-3 blisters. But it would generally start with a burning sensation when pissing. For me that's the symptom of an impeding blister. So I go searching in the usually places. I can see a red area that would begin to itch. On my shaft same thing. I'm careful not to pop or scratch. I'm told very similar to shingles, never had it so not sure.

    Usually scabs and goes away after 1-2 weeks. I live with it. Try to keep my self in good healthy shape. Another thing, I notice to much sweets can be a predictor.

    Pm if you need my take on it and don't want it all over the site. I know what it's like man, and sensitive to any situation.
     
  5. guy83

    guy83 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2011
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    i have redness on my inner thighs, its itchy and gets red when i scratch it, its been like that for a week but no blisters developed, do u think this is herpes?
     
  6. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'm certain it's not but get it checked. The burning and blisters are definite signs.
     
  7. minimag

    minimag Active Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2009
    Messages:
    682
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Las Vegas (NV, US)
    Have you changed laundry detergents recently?
     
  8. NorwaySchlong

    NorwaySchlong Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2005
    Messages:
    41
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    I started taking this new legal copy supressive medicin (with drs prescrition) 6 months ago, and it is out of my life! It costs ca 1,5 usd a day, highly recommended!
     
  9. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    "out of my life" could you clarify and do you know the name of the drug.
    thanks for the info
     
  10. guy83

    guy83 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2011
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    no but i had sex with someone 2 weeks ago and the gay was so pale and had some redness including on his thighs, i wonder if its a contagious rash?? i thought it was due to his paleness i guess he gave me something.

    i mean i wonder what it is, and my skin is itchy over all. it cant be crabs coz there is no visible signs of it
     
    #10 guy83, Oct 22, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2011
  11. NorwaySchlong

    NorwaySchlong Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2005
    Messages:
    41
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    I had outbreak ca every 1,5 mnths. Had this for 3 years. Started on Valaciclovir Sandoz (from a swiss company) 6 months ago and has not seen any outbreak as yet. This is the copy drug, I dont recall thre original prescription, but I will get a new one in a month or so, if you dont get hold of it.
     
  12. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Isn't a pain in the ass. Initially I would get outbreaks every 4-5 months mostly related to stress. Physical-catching a cold, not enough sleep(mainly that), but as the years past my out breaks were rare. Gone a year to two at one point. Than my son became a teenager, lol.

    But thanks for the info. Wil also try lysine, though I know about it's helpfulness have not taken it.
     
  13. love2suckcock

    love2suckcock New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2009
    Messages:
    58
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    50
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    San Francisco Far East Bay Area
    From my experience, breakout appearance can vary widely. I'll confess that I have it (see how many 'unfriend' me now). have had it going on 11 years now. The person I suspect gave it to me I never noticed any blisters etc until our last time together. He woke up the next morning talking about this rash he had. It was on his lower abdomen area. He thought (so he said) it was scabies or something. I thought it looked very similar to razor burn actually. But, it took about 3 months before anything showed up to make me think there was a problem. I got tested and had 3 tests before one came back positive.
    My outbreaks actually tend to be internal instead of external which is apparently not common. My first year was the worst. I am on Valtrex/Valacylovir daily. This helps suppress breakouts and transmission.
    I have found that far fewer men have turned me down that I thought would. I actually was happy to tell one guy that I had it in hopes that he'd stop wanting to have sex with me but that didn't work. I am now married and my husband and I have been together for 9 years. He does not use condoms and he has not contracted it (has been tested).
    I did use to freak out about telling people before we had sex but then realised that it was a great way for me to be a bit more choosy in deciding who to have sex with so that was good. I used to fuck a lot, and there are times when I miss it for sure. Luckily, hubby actually wants me to 'fool around' a bit with others. So far all I have done is given head to a former lover who already knew. Recently, I have had to tell a couple of guys again and the anxiety came back leading up to it, but things have gone well so far. No one has run away. What's kind of funny is that I think hubby forgets that I have it and thinks it's going to be easy for me to 'hook up' with someone.
     
  14. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I think the hardest thing is to disclose to partners. I have a very monogamous relationship so that's not the problem. Its just that I have been a member here for several years and this topic have rarely if at all come up. And for me to 'fess up has been uplifting as well as, I hope, enable others like yourself to do the same. Kudos to you. We all adapt and have partners that are supportive. Actually I should say my wife has a partner that is totally supportive.

    Thanks for your reply. Takes courage, admirable indeed.:smile:
     
  15. love2suckcock

    love2suckcock New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2009
    Messages:
    58
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    50
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    San Francisco Far East Bay Area
    Thanks. Recently I have had days where I want to just write it on my forehead so I can just get past the having to tell issue.
     
  16. D_Ernest Porknine

    D_Ernest Porknine New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Messages:
    239
    Likes Received:
    3
    I do have some questions concerning genital herpes:

    I have read that nearly 25% of the population has herpes although many may not know it. I had a scare a few years back when I had an affair and within a week I got a sore near the head of my cock. I went into a clinic and was checked out and everything came back okay. I realized that we had just fucked so damn hard (and she was a bit hard with the teeth) that I just got worn out! That also had happened to me in the past if I jacked off too much.

    It did give me a scare though and I am curious about exactly how it is spread. Can you get genital herpes on your cock if someone sucks it? Do they have to have oral herpes to give you genital herpes? If they have genital herpes can you get it from them if you don't touch their cock? If you have genital herpes can you give it to someone by sucking their cock or them sucking yours? Do you have to exchange bodily fluids? I thought I've read that oral and genital herpes are similar but not the same and you can have one or the other or both.

    Also I've read that while it may be more likely to spread herpes when a person is having an outbreak it is also possible to spread and catch it even when a person is not showing any signs of it. I've gathered that the skin cells which slough off yourself can contain the virus (or whatever it is...).

    All of it makes me quite scared at times because it is not talked about often yet so many people could be walking around as ticking time bombs with it inside of them and infecting others.

    I would imagine intercourse or anal sex it may be more easily passed because of the exchange of fluids and the close contact between the penis and open membranes of the body. My question is wondering if the mouth/penis contact would give you genital or oral herpes or both?
     
  17. Sir6x6

    Sir6x6 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2010
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    This isn't easy for me to share, but here's my experience: I contracted it earlier this year, my girlfriend gave it to me. We are in a long-term, serious relationship and we were not using protection. We both have HSV1, which usually is oral but my girlfiend contracted it genitally from an ex via oral sex. My understanding is that HSV1 (usually oral) and HSV2 (usually genital) are %50 percent the same in terms of being a virus. They like to stay in their "prefered" area, but can be contracted elswhere. I was told by my doctor that somewhere around 4 out of 5 people have HSV1, usually demonstrated by oral HSV1 (aka cold sores), and that 1 out of 5 have HSV2. It's very hard to test for with blood work, so I don't think anyone really knows and many people go on not knowing they have it.
    I have had one small outbreak, as well as the original in 10 months. The second one was during a stressful time. I have never had burning during urination or itching, just small blisters that were slightly painful. Yes, you can contract it even when the carrier is not showing signs, this is via viral shedding.

    I think the scariest thing for me is telling any future partners. I wish there wasn't such a stigma, it's really not that bad (in my experience) as far as diseases go, it's just that there is no cure. Apparently after you contract it for the first time, it goes dormant, crawling up the nerve endings around your hips or ears if it's oral. This is what makes it so hard to whipe out, it's sort of hiding after it's done it's damage.

    I have read that there's a doctor at Duke looking for a cure, so hopefully something comes from that. I take Lysine and Vitamin B12 (or was it B6) and take medication when an outbreak occurs.

    Best of luck to everyone out there living with this and the stigma associated with it.
     
  18. myass111aa

    myass111aa Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2010
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    I have oral herpes... I had my initial outbreak when I was a 100% virgin (no sexual contact WHATSOEVER beforehand). Long story short, I went to my doctor and she gave me acyclovir and all I do is pop 2 when I first see it and it goes away and is completely gone in 3 days instead of 14 haha!
    As a note, Valtrex (valacyclovir) is just a more bioavailable version of acyclovir. Basically what it does is prevent the virus from reproducing. If you have health insurance, ask your doctor for either and it'll make your life SO much better!
    Another note, lysine and other vitamins have just about no effect. I've tried. Don't bother. And Abreva (that OTC cream) is way less effective and barely shortened the outbreak.
    In short, see your doctor and ask for acyclovir, it's the most effective and always works! :)
     
    #18 myass111aa, Nov 16, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2011
  19. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    heres a link that pretty much answers most of your questions.
    Go Ask Alice!: Oral sex and herpes — a triple header

    Although I enjoy (and my wife) going down on her I have not had any symptoms except on my shaft or pubic areas, and this after 27 years. FYI however risk is always there, just be mindful.
     
  20. Frnkd213

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1,415
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    571
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hawaii (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    thanks for sharing. I agree about your concern with disclosure, but for me the guilt would be overwhelming if should the opportunity arise I did not disclose this. At this point in my life its more an inconvenience than anything else. I too have the coldsore virus and that is worse than genital really. lol
     
Draft saved Draft deleted