locker room stalking

IntactMale

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DC DEEP said:
One way I have dealt with this sort of behavior is to make it obvious that you know what he is doing, but are not happy with it. What I did was wait until he followed me into the locker room. As soon as he came in, I went back into the main area. He waited a moment, followed me back out there... and I immediately went back into the locker room. If he follows you more than a couple of times, then you can be certain, absolutely certain, that there is no mistake. Then you just ask "Are you following me for a specific reason?" and deal with it from there

I've tried this. After my work out I normally take a shower and go to the steam room. Well, the last time he didn' catch up with me until I was going into the steam room, he skipped a shower and followed me in (that doesn't me too much, but it is against gym rules). After a few minutes I went to take a cool shower that I wouldn't overheat. He followed me out immediately, took the shower stall that happened to have a good view of mine, and stood staring directly at me for as long as I was in the shower. He followed me again as I went back to the steam room. After a few more eminutes I tried to trick him by pretending to take another shower. I left, and after about 10-20 seconds he came out of the steam room and I went right back inside. After 30-40 seconds he was right back in the steam room with me.


2big2care said:
My belief is these guys that stalk really want more but are afraid to approach you out of fear of rejection or violence. Would it not be easier if they could just confront you and ask you out and you feel comfortable enough to say yes or no, end of story? I know, will never happen that way.

I'd be less offended if this guy just came up to me and asked me instead of leering at me. I think just writing that sentence gave me an epiphany about how girls must feel about me...
 

ledroit

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IntactMale said:
I've tried this. After my work out I normally take a shower and go to the steam room. Well, the last time he didn' catch up with me until I was going into the steam room, he skipped a shower and followed me in (that doesn't me too much, but it is against gym rules). After a few minutes I went to take a cool shower that I wouldn't overheat. He followed me out immediately, took the shower stall that happened to have a good view of mine, and stood staring directly at me for as long as I was in the shower. He followed me again as I went back to the steam room. After a few more eminutes I tried to trick him by pretending to take another shower. I left, and after about 10-20 seconds he came out of the steam room and I went right back inside. After 30-40 seconds he was right back in the steam room with me.




I'd be less offended if this guy just came up to me and asked me instead of leering at me. I think just writing that sentence gave me an epiphany about how girls must feel about me...
I think you have to be blunt and direct with these people, tell them to stop looking at you or following you.

I'm gay, and feel uncomfortable if some women come onto me and don't take no for an answer. I think being blunt is the manly thing to do. If they really don't take no for an answer, then you can get pissed. But I don't like all this indirect, implicit behavior stuff as a rule. Too vague, too many possibilities for confused, misunderstood "signals." Very annoying. Clean, clear, unmistakable commands are better.
 

basque9

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I have learned that it is not so important what the other guy looks at about my body whether he admires my physique, whether he is drooling over my cock, whether he thinks my face is handsome, likes my butt....... who the fuck cares.......they are his eyes and his eyes can not hurt me in any conceivable way... if he follows me.. well then does he not have exemplary taste????? I have learned to be charitable with the other guy and to thank God that he has chosen me to be so admired.
 

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IntactMale said:
I don't know why this turned into a gay/straight thing, whether the guy was gay or straight he was staring at me for along time and followed me a round and just made me feel uncomfortable. I was really asking what you felt the apropriate response was, and I guess I should just say something to his face.

Like I said, I really don't care if someone wants to take a look at my penis, sometimes it even turns me on when I notice someone giving me a second take. But to just be staring like that and pretty much harassing me is over the top.

Ryan10Plus, I don't know who you are or why you were so offended by my question. I thought asking other people about how to deal with this situation was a little more grown up then responding to a thread just to insult someone.

i agree with you......most guys dont care if theyre changing and someone takes a peek at them but its outright annoying if someone stares at you and "eye fucks" you. I really think its a serious invasion of privacy when people are at the gym just to look at cock rather than workout
 

FieldRatt9

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Sorcerer said:
I've been known to say "what the fuck are you looking at?" if they get too letcherous. Fortunately I've only had to do it 2 or 3 times (in the gym that is).

LMAO !!! I've done that many times !!! I don't mind getting looked at but not to the point of flat out rude staring or when they start to jack off looking at you. I laughed so loud right now I scared myself ! :biggrin1:
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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This isn't just a male issue. This is what women have had to put up with from men who are dogs. I understand the feeling. I even get it from women coworkers. One asks me, "Is that real or pinned on?" There is a diff between someone taking a glance or someone drooling and leering at you. You can steal peeks at mine all you want just don't throwup, drool, touch it without permission or point and laugh.
In this day and age, I think I'd ask him may I help you? See what his reply is and go from there. If he's a jerk, report his butt.
I don't care if you are straight or gay looking at my stuff. I just want to be respected. I have a mind. Love me for my mind. :biglaugh: Actually, sometimes it gives me a little ego boost when they sneak a peek and their eyes get wide. oooooo A hot guy in colorado came up to the urinal next to me. We were the only guys in the john. He looked completely over the divider, took a long look and turned and smiled at me. So, I had a little ego boost that day. :)
 

D_Coyne Toss

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I like being stared at at the pool's showers, but if staring turns to stalking, no matter if the person is male or female, first of all i'd frankly speak to him/her and ask him/her to let me alone (very gently).

Afterwards, if no change came, i'd tell the pool manager.

It just depends on how you feel about it, but it sounds like the thing is making you more uncomfortable every day. It is not polite to follow a person that way, step by step.
 

ballsontheline2000

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I am in the locker room all the time. I have a tiny, little shaved dick. It is only 4 inches when hard. I get a lot of looks when I am in the locker room. A really hung younger guy came into the shower room and watched me as I showered. He made sure that I saw his huge dick. He followed me into the locker room and made sure that his dick was in my face when I sat down on the bench. I left the gym and went for a walk along the river. I needed to jerk off and I love to streak. He caught me nude. He pulled off his shorts and compared our two dicks. I was glad he stalked me.
 

NCbear

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A typical stalking troll was in the sauna with me and several other guys a few months ago and was complaining to a "friend"--someone who was patiently hearing him out, not someone who had a real emotional connection with the troll--how overweight he was.

The "friend"--who's gay and says what he thinks--said something like this: "Well, if you'd come to the Y to work out instead of see naked guys, you could eventually become attractive enough to be able to actually pick up one of them instead of stalking them."

Even the straight men laughed out loud at that one. This guy had a crick in his neck, he was so used to looking below the waist.

NCbear (who was not the person who made the response, but who wishes he had been)
 

arkyman

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I had a guy at the Y who would jerk off in front of me either in the locker area or in the showers. I never said anything. Then one day, on a Saturday when I didn't have to rush through my routine, I was headed toward the showers and passed the bathroom and there he was...fully dressed this time. I thought, what is he going to do...just stand there and watch??? I headed toward the furtherest shower head in the gang shower. There was another guy under the shower just next to me. I thought maybe he would block the view some.

As mentioned, I just took my time and tried to acknor "Mr. Spy". The guy next to me kept re-soaping my body over and over and kept facing me. The dressed guy sure enough stayed close by to watch us two shower. After awhile I got to thinking, "I think the guy showering next to me is flat out staring me down and getting frisky." So I thought, I'm outta here for now. I tried to avoid one situation, and I think got into a worse one with the guy next to me.

When you're not in the mood...you're not in the mood! Sheesh!
 

Sandarae8

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I'm gay, that doesn't mean I want every guy in the steam room looking me over. On here that is fine (more than fine, hehe), but in person I wouldn't want someone checking me out - especially to the extent that this guy seems to - unless I was up to it.

I'm also confrontational, I through elbows if you grab my ass (hey, i'm a top) and will ask if someone has a problem, or if they mind looking in another direction. A lot of times i'll just write something, like a sign, or trace NO WAY clearly, if they are looking at me, they now know, if not, they won't notice. If I tell someone to look away and i'm wrong, well first, I won't really know because they almost always try to deny it even when very guilty, and second I really don't care what a stranger thinks, if i'm wrong they will get over it quick.

I think my aggressiveness stems from a situation similar to yours, except I was 11 or 12 at the time and the guy frightened me, he followed me around and the final straw was when he came up next to me at a stall when I was peeing and looked directly at my peepee (I say peepee as I had not started puberty). Some people are just creeps and don't care if you are uncomfortable with it, they will keep doing it until you assert yourself and stop them. The whole "they are just shy" or "afraid to approach" thing is B.S. This guy clearly has no problem going for what he wants and is fine with your seemingly obvious rejection of him.

It sounds like your lack of reaction, your passive behavior toward his lil'stalking routine, is seen by him as an invitation to take it a step further. He may also know you ae uncomfortable and get off on that, I mean people post stuff on here about following guys or flashing guys and assuming that the person enjoys it as much as they do (seriously, there are a few delusional people that think the world wants to see them, people that are into that, like many of us, make up a pretty small percentage of the populace, but when we surround ourselves with similar folks, we start to think everyone cts that way) - when in reality that is rarely the case and the exposure is very unwelcome (unless it is a welcoming setting condusive to that behavior such as a bathouse). The stalking is just sort of a reverse flashing, so to speak.

I know I have been flashed when going about my daily routine, and it is just kind of like "eww, go away" whereas in a different setting I would probably be turned on. I will "accidentally" flash friends, but only with ones I know well and with ones that I know would like to see it (generally the ones that ask questions about it) but I don't whip it out assuming it will be appreciated, conversely I do not assume that everyone wants me staring at them. I've been stared at before, sometimes I like it, sometimes I give them a look that tends to frighten them off (i'm not real muscular or anything, as you can see, but I am tall and have a very menacing mean look, or so I have been told, haha) Thus I come here, where may of us are here for such purposes.

Really, it boils down to the fact that no one really wants someone that turns them off to check them out, it kind of kills the mood.

....my god i'm long winded. My apologies.
 

RobinSF

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My two cents as an old fashioned San Francisco queen who lived through the 80s when no usually meant I've already hooked up and am not into three-ways, so check back later ...

Rude is rude, discreet checking out I don't mind, even a smile or other "low key" acknowledgement, but down right staring at anyone is another thing entirely. Why someone needs a direct verbal NO is beyond me. But if they do, they deserve it.

I think that a lot of people won't speak out against an aggresive stalker type, because we are taught that we should not meet such behavior with equally rude behavior (I used to be like that). But no one has the right to make another uncomfortable (if the behavior is out of bounds) and everyone has the right to peace and quiet enjoyment of their surroundings. So now I politely make it clear if I'm not interested, and escalate the 'tude from there if it continues, right up to direct verbal confrontation.

I think this should applly in most public places. Of course, if you are in a gay bath or pickup club, get real, people stare and grope.

Not saying I'm the expert in etiquette or anything (ask my Mother, I am not), but just my thoughts.
 

whatshisface

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My two cents as an old fashioned San Francisco queen who lived through the 80s when no usually meant I've already hooked up and am not into three-ways, so check back later ...

Rude is rude, discreet checking out I don't mind, even a smile or other "low key" acknowledgement, but down right staring at anyone is another thing entirely. Why someone needs a direct verbal NO is beyond me. But if they do, they deserve it.

I think that a lot of people won't speak out against an aggresive stalker type, because we are taught that we should not meet such behavior with equally rude behavior (I used to be like that). But no one has the right to make another uncomfortable (if the behavior is out of bounds) and everyone has the right to peace and quiet enjoyment of their surroundings. So now I politely make it clear if I'm not interested, and escalate the 'tude from there if it continues, right up to direct verbal confrontation.

I think this should applly in most public places. Of course, if you are in a gay bath or pickup club, get real, people stare and grope.

Not saying I'm the expert in etiquette or anything (ask my Mother, I am not), but just my thoughts.


from a straight guy's perspective, i think you said it right Robin. If someone can catch a glimpse of me, whatever. Staring/stalking is never good (and yes, girls do it too!) Obviously if you're in a "gay hangout" I imagine the rules are different.