Lodi

Discussion in 'Fictitious Stories' started by JacobFox, Mar 21, 2011.

  1. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Chapter one: In Which Lodi gets lost in a field of corn

    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Lodi was in the front seat of the car. He and three of his best friends were driving out through the cornfields west of their college. Unlike a lot of the other students, they had not gone home for the Thanksgiving holiday. It being the first big holiday of the school year, most of the students at Northern Illinois University had gone home. Those that had chosen not to go home mostly spent the long weekend in Chicago. Deciding that the deserted campuses would give them a lot of privacy, the group of four convinced their parents to let them stay at school. Although it hadn’t been without a modicum of fuss, they all got what they wanted.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] Thanksgiving had come and gone with no great fanfare. Lodi and Madison spent the night together in his dorm room. Lodi’s roommate Steve had gone home the day before and they had the room all to themselves. Dinner had consisted of nothing more than turkey sandwiches, but it didn’t really matter. The goal had simply been to get some time alone and that had been achieved. All in all, they had a wonderful time.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Be that as it may, the holiday itself passed into the past and the weekend had come. This made them all especially happy they had chosen to stay behind at school. The city and most of the suburbs would be bustling with shoppers trying to get ready for Christmas. In addition to the chance to party, this would help draw even more people away from Dekalb. Having most of the campus to themselves had appeared to be quite fun at first, but the enjoyment was fleeting. Come Friday night, all of them were bored to tears. It was something that had not anticipated happening.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]It was Harley’s idea for them to go out for a drive. Being that they were all freshman, none of them were too familiar with the area. Lodi was the only one of the four new friends from Illinois. Even so, he was from the far north suburbs of Chicago and had never been that far west of the city. The opportunity had never quite presented itself until the moment. They had only met a few months before at a lecture. Harley and Faith had been a couple in high schools that had decided they wanted to go to college together. Madison had started a discussion with the two of them and that had caught Lodi’s attention. Being very attracted to the girl, he thought by butting into the conversation that he could get a chance to get to know her better. In the end, it had turned out that he was right. The four of them kept running into each other, and talked on and off. Since the other three had been from out of state, Lodi was the only one who had a car. This helped bring them all together because it gave them transportation around the town and outlying areas. Although it may seem like a shallow reason for the four of them to hang out at first, it did help develop a strong friendship. By the time November had rolled around the four of them were as tight as they could be.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]NIU was in the middle of a small town called Dekalb. It was about a two-hour drive west of the city of Chicago. One might get the impression that being so near to the third largest city in the United States would it a small yet bustling town. They would be very wrong, however. Besides the college campus and a few small shops, there was nothing else in the area except tons and tons of cornfields. The whole area was completely surrounded by them. Lodi had driven to the school first from up north and had literally been driving through a corn maze for over an hour before he found the school. It lent to the school an extremely creepy atmosphere that the boys generally enjoyed quite well.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] The point of the ride was mainly to see how far the cornfields went to the west of the campus. Most of their trips together had been to the city, and they didn’t extend too far past Dekalb in that direction. After a very short drive, they were driving through the northwest suburbs, which were some of the more highly populated of the areas around Chicago. There was little fun to be had out that way that they hadn’t already experienced. None of them knew what to expect by driving out the other way.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]It didn’t take much for Harley to convince Lodi that it would be a fun idea. The girls took a bit more work, however. While Lodi was the type of guy who liked creepy and possibly frightening experiences, neither Madison nor Faith shared those interests. The two of them were completely content with the thought of spending the whole weekend in the dorms. They were even very willing to fool around with the boys as much as Lodi and Harley wanted. In the end, though, the boys won out and convinced the girls that a little adventure was truly what they all needed. So, the four friends set out in Lodi’s Saturn SC-1.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]After about an hour had passed, it seemed like not much was going to happen. The only thing that any of them had seen for the whole trip had indeed just been an endless field of corn. Deep down, Harley had been hoping to come across an old farmhouse, an abandoned car or at least a scarecrow. He had never seen a real one before. There wasn’t anything of the sort, though. Regretfully, he began to wonder if it was a good idea to just head back. The girls seemed rather bored and perhaps if they got to the dorms in time, they would at least be able to salvage a decent night of sex.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]“Well, this has been a complete bust,” Harley said with a sign. The disappointment in his voice could not be masked. He leaned up against the front seat and patted Lodi on the shoulder. “What do you say we head back to school, eh?”
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]fLodi turned and looked at Madison to see what she thought. Neither of them said anything and the girl simply gave her boyfriend a shrug of her shoulders. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but at the same time made it very apparent that she wasn’t enjoying herself much. He didn’t get a whole lot of money from his parents, so he would be frustrated for the rest of the night about wasting the gas in the car. With a defeated sigh, he nodded his head.
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    “Yeah, I guess so,” Lodi agreed. “Who would have thought that a bunch of corn could be as dull as this?”
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    fFaith laughed. “Honey, if that’s the only thing you’re surprised about, then you seriously need to raise your expectations,” she said. Then, she slapped Harley on the butt, causing him to sit back down in the seat.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]It’s no big deal, Lodi,” Madison assured him. “If we get back to the dorms quickly enough, I am sure there are quite a few others things that we can find to do.”
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Lodi smiled and gave in. Although the trip had not originally been his idea, he didn’t want to end it so soon. Nothing had been found and that was disappointing. He turned the car around in the middle of the road and headed back. They had only seen one or two cars the entire trip, so there was little to no chance that a cop would have seen the highly crapped U-turn that was made.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]For the first few moments, no one said anything. Faith and Harley were fooling around a little in the backseat. Lodi could only hope that they were able to wait until they got back to school before doing anything too committing. He kept his eyes on the road, only occasionally looking over at Madison.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]She was such a beautiful girl. He had been very surprised that someone like her would have given him the time of day. Although not standing out like a lot of girls that was one of the things he liked best about her. She was short and thin, but with a nice figure. Chestnut hair fell to her shoulders. It always seemed like it was styled with no effort. Her eyes were hazel and filled with intelligence. Underneath all of that was a layer of kindness and tenderness. It was that which made her all the more attractive. Definitely she was the most beautiful girl that he had ever gone out with.
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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]There had not been a lot of girls on his dating resume, though. Most people figured Lodi was an attractive guy, but he was more of a thinker than anything else. Brooder might even be more of an apt description. In high school he had always been an outsider, not hanging with too many people. Although his grades were very good, he rarely participated in any class discussions. More often than not, he sat in the back of the class and just watched what everyone else did. This gave him an air of mystery that may have served him well later in life. In high school, however, it just painted him as a freak. His looks did not help to dispel this persona, either. Lodi was tall and very thin. His light brown hair was kept at a medium length; just enough so his bangs could fall into his eyes. The style was reminiscent of Elijah Wood’s character Frodo from the “Lord of the Rings” movies. Everyone knew this and the nickname of ‘hobbit’ was generally attributed to him. That was odd, however, as he was a lanky boy who always dressed in black every day. Even when spring and summer forced the weather to change, his wardrobe did not. Wearing long sleeved black shirts when it was eighty degrees outside and even hotter in the classroom lent to his status as a freak. Ordinarily, the only girls who wanted anything to do with him with the punk and goth girls with which he had no interest. Madison was totally different than all of them.
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    #1 JacobFox, Mar 21, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2011
  2. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]As he continued to drive on, thinking about his girl, a strange flash of light caught Lodi’s attention. He had only glanced out into the cornfields for a split second, but he knew he had seen something. It just became a question of what and would it be interesting enough to resurrect the ill-fated trip. Without saying a word to the other passengers in the car, he started slowing down and pulled over to the side of the road.
    [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]“Hey, Lodi, what the hell are you doing?” Harley asked from the back seat. He and Faith stopped making out. They were still holding each other as if they were about to start back up, however.
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    “I saw something out in the cornfield,” Lodi replied. He then put the car in park, leaving the engine and the lights on.
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    “What do you mean something?” Harley asked. There was an ounce of impatience in his voice, but Lodi didn’t care. He had been very reluctant to head back to the dorms and this gave him a reason to delay a while longer.
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    “I don’t know,” Lodi replied. “It looked like a flash of light or something. But it was coming from the middle of that field out there.”
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    Harley gave out an exasperated sigh. He would have been more excited than anyone if they actually found something. A small flash of light did not qualify as something in his mind, however. Pulling away from Faith, he leaned up into the front of the car. “Well, what do you think it was, a UFO or something?” he said, with more than a hint of sarcasm.
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    Giving him an annoyed look, Madison reached out and touched her boyfriend’s arm. When he kept looking out the window, she said, “I think you’re grasping for something that’s not there, baby. Come on, let’s just go back, now.”
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    Lodi shook his head. “No, I saw something out there,” he asserted. “I am not sure what it was, but hey, it’s why we came out here in the first place, right? For a little adventure. We should go and check it out.”
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    “You mean actually go out into the cornfield?” Madison asked. She sat back against the seat. “I don’t know if I want to do that.”
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    The prospect of going out into the corn got Harley’s interest back. He patted his best friend on the shoulder. “Oh yeah, man,” he said. “That’s an awesome idea. We could go see what’s in the corn.”
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    “What’s in the corn?” Faith asked. She slapped Harley on the ass again. ‘What could possibly be of interest in a cornfield? Let’s just get going. Besides, if we leave the car here it could get towed or something.”
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    Sitting back down beside her, Harley shook his head. “Nah,” he retorted. “There haven’t been any cars or cops down this road at all. Hell, why would there be. Can’t be much going on out here in the middle of nowhere. I bet other college kids probably do tons of shit out in these fields and never get caught.” Harley nudged his girl with his elbow. “Hell, I am sure we could think of a few things to do out in this field without getting caught.”
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    Faith seemed to like that idea. “Oh yeah,” she agreed. “And it might be fun even if we do get caught.” She gave Harley a seductive look and he pulled her closer. They had both made up there minds about what they wanted. Madison would be the last obstacle. “So, whaddya say, Mads?”
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    It was easy to tell that she was still hesitant about the idea. Whether there was a fear of being found by the cops, or just fear itself, no one was able to tell. It really wasn’t important, either. She was like a deer caught in headlights, and there were only two options available. Those were run or be hit. As Madison was never one to run very far, she eventually gave in and decided to be hit.
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    “Okay, but I don’t want to stay in there too long,” Madison conceded, with a sigh. It was not a choice she wanted to make and that was obvious. Plus, there was a good chance that she would be sulking throughout the whole experience. If nothing else, being pushed into this definitely annoyed her.
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    “Don’t worry, honey, we won’t,” Lodi soothed. “I just want to see what that flash of light was coming from.” He reached out to touch her, but she jerked away. Although she was the last one to give in to the idea of going into the corn, she was the first one to get out of the car. He anger was even more evident by the way she slammed the door shut hard behind her on the way out. Exasperated, Lodi turned to look at his two friends in the backseat, only to get shrugs from them both.
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    Harley patted Lodi on the shoulder. “Hey, she’ll get over it, dude,” he said. “Might as well go with it now, though. I mean, you sure as hell ain’t getting any tonight no matter what.” With that, he got up, exited the car, leaving just Lodi and Faith inside. They looked at each other for a brief moment. Then, without another word, Faith got out of the car and went with her other friends.
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    For the moment he was left alone in the car, Lodi wondered what exactly had gone wrong in the past few minutes. He hadn’t done anything that they were not expecting to do when the four of them originally set out that evening to look for some fun. They were all bored with the non-happenings going on at the dorms. Not a one of them wanted to go to the city. It was a chance for them all to have some real fun. He couldn’t understand how he had turned into the bad guy in a few short moments. Regardless, though, Harley had been right. No matter what he did at this point, there was no chance he was going to get laid, even if he dumped the idea of going into the cornfields. His best shot at having any fun that night was to go ahead and go along with the idea that had got him in trouble in the first place. Taking the key from the ignition, he opened the door and stepped outside.
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    Walking through the corn was not the most pleasant experience. Madison’s sudden change in attitude was not really helping much, either. She and Lodi were walking in the front, with Harley and Faith behind them. There was no real path for them to navigate, so not only was the progress slow, it also left them all with a fairly bad idea of where they were going. Lodi would move the corn stalks aside and let Madison walk through them first. Then, while still holding them apart, he would step through and leave them for Harley. He became totally unaware if the other couple were even talking much to each other as they walked along. All of his focus was on his pouting girlfriend. The rows of corn were all going in the opposite direction of what might have been helpful to their exploration. So, instead of being able to follow them, they had to walk through each row. It was slightly unnerving. The corn was thick and impossible to see through until he actually had gotten through it to the next open space. There could be anything on the upcoming row that would not be detectable until one was totally on the other side. Although the chances of anything actually being there was slim, that sort of rational thinking was not usual when one was walking through a cornfield in the middle of a cold, dark night.
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    After a good forty minutes of walking, it seemed like they were getting nowhere. Madison still had not said a word, which made the going even more tedious. She was actually starting to get on Lodi’s nerves. A little disagreement was not really enough cause for her to carry on like she had for as long as she had. It began to really irritate him and he began to wonder if any of this was really worth it. He was cold and was sure Madison was cold, even though that may not have been the only reason that she walked with her arms folded across her chest. Whatever that small glint of light he saw actually was, it probably wasn’t going to be anything they would actually find. With the passing of each row of corn, it seemed more and more unlikely that they were going to find anything. It really sucked, too, because he had been hoping that it was some part of a scarecrow. He had always wanted to see one of those.
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    Deciding it was probably better to just get back to the car, Lodi thought it would be a good idea to say something to Harley and Faith before mentioning it to Madison. After letting his girlfriend pass through the last row of cornstalks, he turned back to talk to his other friends. The initial shock struck inside him like nothing he had ever felt before. The other couple was nowhere to be seen.
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    “Harley?” Lodi asked, looking up and down the row of corn. “Faith? Where are you?”
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    He stood there for a few more moments, holding the few stalks of corn apart as he looked around. It was possible and probably likely that the two of them had gotten a little behind. Because of the attention Lodi was paying to Madison, he had been neglecting to even notice what had been happening with his other two friends. They may not have been able to keep pace and fallen behind. An initial, yet small feeling of guilt passed over him. It didn’t last long, though, as he realized that it just made everything easier on him. All he had to do now was tell Madison that Harley and Faith weren’t able to keep up with them. It would be his out to get her to go back to find them and then eventually return to the car. He would be able to get out of this situation without having to sacrifice way too much of his pride.
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    Liking this idea, Lodi stepped through the pathway he had been holding open since Madison had traveled passed him. He had barely let it close behind him before he starting talking. “Hey, I think Harley and Faith fell behind a little. Maybe we should head on back-“
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    Lodi froze. Madison was not standing in the row where he had left her. As he had done before, his eyes looked up and down the row, hoping to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend. Also as had happened before, there was nothing to be seen in either direction. The same feeling that had shocked his insides only a moment ago made its return. Only this time it was worse when he realized he was standing alone in a field
    full of dead corn.
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    Searching his mind for some sort of explanation, he was only able to come up with the same reasoning as he had when he realized Harley and Faith were missing. Even though he had been moving the corn so that Madison could step through, she must have gone further ahead on her own. It was possible that more time passed than he thought when Lodi realized that his friends had fallen behind. Given her current state of mind, Madison more than likely got impatient and went through the next row by herself.
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    Leaving the last row behind him, Lodi made his way to the following row of cornstalks. He pulled them apart quickly; his eyes scanning back and forth to see what they could see. There was no one to be seen. A little bit of panic began to build up in his chest. His heart was starting to beat in his throat and he totally disliked the feeling. Without wasting another moment, he lunged towards the next row and corn and pulled it apart. There was nothing there.
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    The next row of corn: nothing there.
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    The row of corn after that: also nothing there.
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    Another two or three rows of corn: still nothing.
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    Lodi had no idea what to explain what was going on. It made enough sense to him that Harley and Faith could have fallen behind while Madison made her way ahead. Yet there was very little chance that she could have gotten as far as it would have taken for her to be wherever she was. Sure, she was mad, but he was much faster than her and was easily plowing his way through the corn. If she was there, he should have been able to find her.
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    Then, he realized that the further he went forward, the further behind that Faith and Harley would be. He had lost them first, so there was no telling where they were. Considerable progress through the field had been made in his mad dash to find Madison. If he slowed down or even came to a standstill, the two of them would eventually catch up.
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    (yeah, but if you do that, your girlfriend will just keep getting even more lost)
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    That was very possible. But certainly she had to realize that she was alone and make her way back. He hoped she would, at least. No one wanted to be all by themselves in the middle of a cornfield in the middle of the night.
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  3. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Not sure what to do, Lodi noticed he hadn’t even moved in the past few minutes. He wasn’t even sure how many minutes it had been. With every attempt to either go forward or backward, he failed to do either. Never before had he been put into such an odd circumstance before. He was very unsure how to handle himself. All he knew was that the longer he did stay there, the more lost someone would be getting. It was possible that this applied to every single one of them.
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    (
    especially you)
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    There was the truth of it all. Harley and Faith had each other. There was absolutely no telling where Madison had gone, but it was possible she might have circled back. More than likely, when she realized she was all by herself, she would have made her way back to see her other friends. Out of all of them, she had been the one that was most afraid of taking the little adventure to begin with. It was unlikely she would have ventured too far off on her own. While he had been plowing through row after row, he probably missed her on her way back through. Madison would have then joined up with Harley and Faith and then all three of them would be together. That then would lead to one conclusion.
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    (you’re the one who is lost)
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    Lodi sighed but realized it was probably true. He let himself start to panic for no particular reason. There was nothing to indicate there was any reason for him to worry about any of his friends. His worry led to him freaking out and running aimlessly through rows and rows of cornstalks. Because he was not thinking clearly, he got himself into this situation.
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    But that was all it was: a situation. He was in a cornfield by himself. In the realm of bad things that could happen to someone, this was definitely not high up on the list. Though they had been traveling for a good fifty minutes at that point, it wasn’t like he was lost in some large national park. There were two completely viable options available to him. His mother had always told him that when he was lost, the best thing to do was to stand in one place and then eventually he would be found. While this seemed like a good idea for a department store or a mall, he happened to be in a cornfield. He threw that idea out the moment it jumped into his mind. The other thought was the more valid one. When the others found that they couldn’t find him, they would all head back to the car. So, the smartest thing for him to do was head back in the direction of the car. Either they would think the same thing and get there before him, or after a little wandering they would reach the same conclusion and head back. That was definitely the right way for him to go.
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    Looking around, however, Lodi realized that he was now unsure of which direction the car was. While he had been thinking, he had turned around several times between the two rows of corn. He might have even been pacing a little without thinking. The sky had been cloudy all week, so there was no help with the moon or the stars. The only thing that might possibly help would be if he started looking to find corn stalks that were moved apart while he had been walking through them.
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    He walked up and down the row, but realized that this was a futile task. Even if his moving of the stalks had left any signs, they would not be visible in the darkness. Plus, he had no idea what he was actually looking for. What did moved corn look like? It was silly for him to even ponder that thought.
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    (you’re lost)
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    No, I’m not, Lodi stated, firmly, in his mind. I just have to think for a few moments and make a decision here. I mean this is just a cornfield. No matter which way I go, I’ll have to end up at a road or a farmhouse or something, right? All I have to do is decide which way I want to go. That’ll be it.
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    (it’s not that easy. Not that easy, at all. Who knows what’s waiting out in the corn for you? You may not even get out of the field to make it to the road or…)
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    “Shut up,” Lodi stated out loud. It was often that his mind talked to him like it was doing that night. Generally the thoughts were always doubting him or questioning the actions he chose to take. It wasn’t really a discernable voice, though, just his own mind going off in any direction. When he was a kid, he had given a name to the voice of doubt that resided in his mind. He called it the Stranger. As he had gotten older, he had been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. That was the medical name for the Stranger. Although he took prescriptions of Paxil and even an antipsychotic called Seroquel, they didn’t totally shut up the voice in his head. They did keep the Stranger at bay, though, and he only arrived nowadays when Lodi was overly stressed out for some reason or another. Still, it had been at least six years since he had even spoken to the stranger out loud. “The last thing I need right now is to deal with this kind of crap.”
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    As if taking the cue, there were no immediate counter thoughts in his mind. This brought him only a small relief, as Lodi knew he had to decide exactly what to do next. It really had occurred to him that standing there and thinking wasn’t going to help him much, though. He simply had to pick a direction and walk in it. If he came to another road away from the car, it shouldn’t be too difficult for him to make his way back to the vehicle. Opposed to his earlier thinking, meeting up with a cop probably didn’t seem like such a bad idea either.
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    Just then, there was a strange brushing sound off to the right side of him. Lodi jumped in surprise. Something had moved up against the cornstalks and they were slightly swaying. Whatever it was, it was more solid than wind. Whatever it was, it was moving on the other side of the corn.
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    Lodi made his way slowly over to the source of the sound. He was hoping that it was one of his friends, but didn’t really think so. His expectations were that it had to be some sort of animal; most likely a raccoon or an opossum. He wasn’t sure if gophers attacked stalks of corn or not.
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    “Maybe it’s a crow,” he said to himself out loud. For the first time all night, a slight chuckle escaped his lips.
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    (or maybe it’s the scarecrow)
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    There was no need to think like that. Lodi did his best to not let that thought find it’s way into his conscious mind. He didn’t believe in monsters or ghosts, let alone the thought that a scarecrow could be lurking in a cornfield. Besides, with his luck, if there was a scarecrow walking around, he probably just wanted to dance and sing and find himself a brain. He smiled a little.
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    (unless it’s your brain he wants)
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    Taking a deep breath, Lodi decided to get it over with. He walked over to the row of corn and slowly pulled it apart. Although he tried to tell himself that he wasn’t scared, he knew better. His own actions betrayed him in this respect. While he was moving the stalks, he was trying to be as quiet as possible. It was evident to him that he didn’t really want to make his presence known to anything that might possibly be out there.
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    But what if it’s one of them? He asked himself. If Harley, Faith or Madison were walking around in the corn, they would want to know where he was. Any of them could be just as lost and alone as he was and maybe even more scared. This was especially possible because he kept telling himself that he was not scared.
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    (but we know the truth)
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    Ignoring his inner monologue, Lodi decided to just go for broke. He pulled the stalks apart and he looked through to the other side. As was usual when anyone built up such apprehension over something, there was nothing there. On the other side, there were no raccoons, opossums, crows, friends and definitely no scarecrows. The only thing there was a completely new row of corn. Lodi swore to himself that when he got home, he would eat every damn piece of corn on cob he could find. That would show the corn to fuck with him.
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    He laughed over his internal joke, though realizing how lame it was. The moment he felt more relieved, though, didn’t last long. Another rustling in the corn was heard and this one was closer to him. Lodi looked up just in time to see a dark figure move through the stalks across from him. He had only seen it for a split second, so there hadn’t been enough time to tell who it was. One thing was for sure: it was a person.
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    “Madison?” Lodi called out to the figure. He thought for sure it must be her. In spite of all of the reasoning he had done only minutes before, there was still a chance in his mind that his girlfriend was by herself in the cornfield. Out of all of his friends, she would be the one that he would be the happiest to see.
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  4. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    [FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]She didn’t answer him. It was odd because he had called out the very moment she passed through the row of corn. There was no way she could not have heard him.
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    Perhaps she is still mad and ignoring you, Lodi thought with an internal sigh. Realizing that this could definitely be the case, he jumped through the space in the stalks he had opened and pushed open another in the parallel row. This was all done just in time as he once again saw the black figure passing through the row right across from him. Exactly as it had happened before, it was way too quickly for him to make out who it was. Still, he hoped it was his girlfriend.
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    “Madison?” he called again and again got no answer. This time, however, he didn’t stop and spend any time wondering why. Wasting not a single moment, he pushed open the path in front of him. For the third time, he caught a glimpse of the black figure as it pushed it’s way through the row ahead. “Madison?”
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    The figure did not stop or acknowledge him in any way. It simply passed all the way through and was again lost to his eyes. There was no doubt that she had to have heard him the last time. He had called out loud enough for someone a few rows down to have noticed.
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    As he moved on, he began to think that it must not be Madison. Indeed, if the girl was out there by herself, there was no way she would keep moving away from him each time he called out. She had been afraid to even go into the cornfield to begin with. Once he was sure that she had to have heard him, it became unlikely that it was her listening.
    [/FONT]
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    (it’s the scarecrow)
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    Thinking back to his original thoughts when he realized he was lost, Lodi came up with another idea. If Madison had made her way back through the corn and met up with Harley and Faith, then it was unlikely she would be out there alone looking for him. The girls would have made their way back to the car to wait and probably sent Harley out to look for Lodi. His best friend would definitely have decided to mess with him if the opportunity presented itself. Out of all of them, he would be the only one who would not have answered back when called out to. At that point, he probably was in fact waiting behind the next row of corn for Lodi to make his way through.
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    After moving through several rows and seeing the exact same thing, Lodi decided to wait a few moments before moving on any further. If Harley was running quickly through the cornstalks, he would see rather suddenly that Lodi was not following him anymore. He also was no longer calling out any names. Once the guy saw that his gag was not working anymore, he would come back.
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    Or so this was the reasoning that Lodi decided to apply to the situation. After waiting about ten minutes, however, he wasn’t so sure. He was determined to not give into any of Harley’s games. During Halloween, his best friend had done several things to try and scare him and succeeded for the most part. There was no better chance than that very moment for him to try something totally different. Lodi didn’t want to give that sort of satisfaction.
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    About fifteen minutes after he stopped pursuing his friend, Harley still did not come back through the cornfield. This raised a series of thoughts into his mind, most of them ones Lodi didn’t relish thinking about. He was sure that if his friend had not continued blindly into the field, that he was waiting for him on the other side of this row of corn. Once Lodi made his way through, Harley would grab him and try to freak the hell out of him. This idea was what kept Lodi from making his way through to the next row. Patient though he was, the coldness and lateness of the night would eventually win over his wanting to get the upper hand in the situation. If he was going to be scared, he decided it best to get it over with so the two of them could make it back to the car and go home.
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    Taking a deep breath, Lodi pushed the cornstalks aside and prepared himself for the inevitable ‘Boo!’ that was about to follow.
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    On the other side of the corn, Lodi saw a black figure disappearing through the next row of corn. As was the case with each of the preceding events, the moment he looked through was only in time to see the tail end of the person push their way past. The only thing that was really seen was a shadow vanishing into the stalks. It was identical to what he had seen each previous time. Try as he might to scare his friend, there was no way that Harley could have timed it so perfectly. Even if he had been watching Lodi through the corn as he pondered, there wouldn’t have been enough time for him to get through the next row.
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    [/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]
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  5. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    This is my attempt to write a really bad horror novel, which I guess I should have mentioned in the first post. We have B horror films, but horror novelists are held to a higher standard, so I decided to write a B horror novel. There is a gay theme, but it will take a bit to develop but I think it will worth it.
     
  6. MrMXYZPTLK

    MrMXYZPTLK New Member

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    I'm sorry, but you should have put your disclaimer in the beginning as your first post. I'm not really sure what your story is about.

    You have 3 characters that you are slowly giving little bits about. So most of the characters are only partially visualizable.

    You are giving alot of details, but not any important detail. There is building up to something, and building up to much.

    In a good to the point story, a Character walks down a 15 feet long corridor to reach something at the end. 15 feet, about 15 steps, then something else happens. In your story, Your character is in a one mile long corridor, and your telling everything that happens the entire mile long walk and it's nothing exciting.

    You give good detail, but WAY TO MUCH detail. More important details, like who the hell is lodi. You did put the little description of him being a thin, loner kid, with a hint of mysteriousness. But you said that way to late.

    I don't mean to be harsh, but you have a good story. It's just so far a very boring story.
     
  7. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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  8. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Well the feedback has been bad...sorry to bug you all with a crappy story
     
  9. Cynix

    Cynix Member

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    I rather enjoyed it so far for being not part the usual pack and would like to discover what exactly Lodi is chasing through the corn =)
     
  10. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    it was only a lil criticism, nothing "bad", acutally, he even said it was good, keep going, i wanna know what happens
     
  11. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Well, I don't post much more here...but if you want to read the read of the story....go to www.jacobfox.com and there are many chapters posted there. The negative feedback was totally non constructive and I was looking for help in those categories. However, insults are not help.

    If you like "Lodi" experience him at Jacobfox.xom
     
    #11 JacobFox, Mar 26, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2011
  12. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    It wasn't just him, dude, it was guys in private messages. But if you want to know, go to jacobfox.com
     
  13. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Your post is reminiscient of what one expects when he watches a B Grade horror flick. Novels are different.
     
  14. Still_Growing

    Still_Growing New Member

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    i believe comic books would suit your tastes better.
     
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