Lonely Birthday

[D_Dennis Anyone]

So today is my 19th b-day...and I can't help shake the feeling.

you know that feeling of just being left out yet you know it is your fault that you feel this way.

I guess I feel this way cause today I found out that the guy (straight guy who happens to be one of my best friends) I've been crushing on for about 3 years (he knows this) has a girlfriend. I wasn't mad when I heard the news. I was actually happy for him.

But I'm only human right....
Who was i kidding...

Now I know I need to get out of this situation and trust me, I am doing a lot better than what i was a year ago. But i just can't help it though. I know it is my fault that I feel this way and just for even thinking about it. I don't know what to do. I try to get over him but i just can't. I don't really have any other gay friends to help me....


But come on, i feel like I am being pciked on for my b-day...

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound "emo" but i find writing helps me clear my mind a little.....if anybody has any comments, tips, or advice, please feel free to post them...

 

[quert]

happy birthday! i don't know if i have any advice, but enjoy being 19. it probably is pretty tough right now, but it won't be long before you're feeling good again. i had a straight boy crush for a long time too, and he was a good friend of mine as well. but eventually i started noticing other guys and after a while, i could move on. you'll be able to do the same. just hang in there!

 

[Awsome09]

happy b day and sorry for your day.... if it makes you feel any better... my day was really shitty.. and i have had a few of your days too

 

[8060]

Happy 19th Birthday, MR INSALL!

I understand of feeling of being on the outside. It can be self-inflicted sometimes. In most of those times, your friends usually wish that you were there, but your head just isn't into being around them, doing what they're doing...I so understand.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend being taken off of the market for you. As some of us know, being straight really wouldn't rule him out. It's good your happy for him. That's what a good friend does...they have your back, praises you when you've done well, listens to you when you need them, party with you when they're tired as hell.

I don't think you're being picked on. I think your friends are just being themselves. And you're still trying to find your niche within yourself look. Use this time, your birthday, to be excited for you since you're in such a better now than you were last year. Imagine how much stronger you'll be next year.

So, turn on your favorite jams and crank and shake it off, shake it up. Dance till you sweat and collapse and I'm tellin' you'll feel better in no time.

Sidenote: Be sure and flirt with a stranger tomorrow. That'll start your morning off right. Happy 19th!

 

[B_cigarbabe]

Well I think you're right, you do need to get away from a situation that won't have a happy ending for you if what you want from him is any kind of sexual relationship.
But crappy birthdays come just once in a while and since this one was so crappy your twentieth will be Awesome! This I believe.:wink:
So let me be one of those who sincerely wish that you will have an especially great day in spite of whats happened so far.resent:

arty2:Happy Birthday Mr. INSALL!! arty2:
:birthday::birthday::birthday::birthday::birthday:
:banana: :fest30: :fest06: :dance: :You_Rock_Emoticon:
cigarbabe:saevil:

 

[Mandee]

Happy Birthday! I'm sorry it doesn't really sound like it was a very happy one... I hope next year is better!! :hug:

 

[D_Dennis Anyone]

well it is 2:25 a.m.

i have a class that start at 8 and I can't slee at all.
How do I get over this crush that I have? I barely have any gay friends here at school (im not the obvious type of gay guy)

 

[Principessa]

:grouphug: I'm so old I barely remember being 19. :tongue: It gets better trust me. :grouphug:

When I feel like you are now I tend to write bad rhyming haiku so starting a thread like this is infinitely better. Trust me the only thing worse than a bad haiku is a bad haiku that rhymes. :tongue::redface:

:birthday: :arms: :birthday: :arms: :birthday:
Happy 19th Birthday Mr Insall!​

:dance: :flowers1: :dance: :flowers1: :dance: :flowers1: :dance: ​

:You_Rock_Emoticon:​

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Happy birthdayyy

 

[AZNEWGUY]

I was just like you, 18, no one knew I was bi but one guy, my best friend. I had a HUGE crush on him and he knew about it as well. It bothered him for a while, but he got over it and remained my friend. I'm 33 and he is still my friend till this day. It killed me everytime he had a girlfriend and he had many; He is a good looking guy. As the years went by, I pretty much accepted that NOTHING will ever happen between us. Understanding that I learned a lesson and became stronger. I went from being extremely sad to being happy for him when he tells me his stories about his girlfriends. You will be stronger and you will think about this and laugh this crush off when the years pass you by. Happy 19th man, you will be ok.

 

[BiItalianBro]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR INSALL :flowers1:

Happy Birthing Day!!!! ....sorry to hear about all your conflicted feelings buddy ((HUG)). Like many other gay/bi men , I found myself in that shitty situation too when I was in my late teens/early 20s. Cherish the friendship you have with him on it's current terms buddy...I PROMISE you that as you expand your social network, you will find other great men where the potential for a romantic relationship. In the meantime...remember that friendship is a form of love too. :redface:

 

[Stephenmass]

remember that friendship is a form of love too.

BiItalianBro I never heard this before but it is so true!! In terms of nonsexual bonding, sometimes friendships can be so much closer and open as a result!

 

[CUBE]

Happy Birthday. I understand the pain as I was there myself for a good two years...years ago. You need to expand the circle you are in so there is more to focus on. You are clearly a good looking guy, now get out there and find an awesome guy that can enjoy every inch of you literally! Happy Bithday!!!!!!

 

[slurper_la]

Happy Belated Birthday!!!

you need to find some gay friends. here are links to different associations and social groups in San Antonio

San Antonio Gay Community Resources | FunMaps Gay Travel Guides

OUTINSANANTONIO.COM: Gay San Antonio, TX  Gay Dating, Personals, News, Local Events and Information.

Welcome to QSanAntonio.com -- What's going on in your gay world?

TexasGaySingles.com ? Texas Gays, Texas Lesbians, Texas Gay Personals, Texas Lesbian Personals

 

[297498]

I definitely can relate. Today's my birthday and I'm still feeling lonely and can't get over the straight guy I'm lusting over.

Happy belated birthday and hope that you feel better

 

[r0nnie92]

first of all.. happy late birthday!
this seems like a complicated situation... i'm in love with my best friend too (she's a girl), at first, i never thought i would have a crush on her, but yeah... it happened and i made the mistake and told her... like a month later she confessed me that she liked me too... but idk what the hell was wrong with me... i couldn't take the next step and ask her to be my girlfriend... days went by... MONTHS went by... and finally... like 1 1/2 years later... i just couldn't deal with it and i just told her everything, how i felt and how sorry i was for not asking her to be my girlfriend... i had soooo many chances to ask her, but i just couldn't. now we're still best friends:frown1: it's been kinda akward since then, she knows i still have feelings for her but she'd rather we stayed as best friends.

now YOUR situation is similar to mine but different at the same time... i'm sure you really love your friend, and you're so jealous and mad cuz he isn't gay... aw man! i wish i could help you. just try not to spend too much time with him just keep in touch, otherwise it will be even harder for you to get over him. i know it sounds really hard, although you don't want to do that, it seems like that's the only alternative.

 

[rocky93]

Happy Birthday Man! You'll find your guy!