Lonely = Pathetic?

[quintin]

"He struck me as lonely, and there's always something pathetic as loneliness. I'd experienced it myself. I would ferociously deny i was pathetic, but when i viewed loneliness in someone else, i could feel the tug of pity."
-Dead as a Doornail, Charlaine Harris

is there truly something pathetic about loneliness? do we, as people, feel bad when we learn someone is "all alone"? this interests me.

 

[JacobFox]

I don't equate the two at all.... lonliness is sometimes just a fact of life.

 

[invisibleman]

I don't think that loneliness is pathetic. Loneliness can be a time to enjoy the scenic route of life until you get someone in the sidecar to enjoy the views with you.

 

[Bob Ross]

I've met people I would call "pathetic" who were by no means lonely and I've met lonely people who I wouldn't call pathetic...

But yes, the quote is deep; it's a natural human emotion to feel bad for someone who has nobody, and pity them yet feel superior should we not be in the same ill state. However, its like that old statement that..."in the world of the blind, the man with one eye is king". In the world of the stupid and selfish, is a man that is intelligent and giving yet cannot relate to anyone pathetic? Both definitions are subjecvtive to the individual defining them...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Dsz4dB6DuM

 

[about_blank]

I don't know if being lonely is pathetic, but maybe such a strong want for a relationship that it darkens one's whole disposition could be considered pathetic.

I don't know, just my ponderings.

 

[B_VinylBoy]

There's a difference in being alone and being lonely.
You're only "lonely" if you think there's nobody out there who cares or could be thinking about you. It's not always about who you're touching or sleeping with.

 

[earllogjam]

No one ever lies about being lonely. I see this as the unavoidable consequence of a new generation who where never taught social skills, and the affluence of a society in which a single person can easily subsist alone in the world without any personal connecton to anyone.

It's only pathetic in that it's actually a choice and not something that is permanent unless you are on a deserted island or in solitary confinement.

 

[hud01]

There's a difference in being alone and being lonely.
You're only "lonely" if you think there's nobody out there who cares or could be thinking about you. It's not always about who you're touching or sleeping with.

Very well put.

 

[hud01]

No one ever lies about being lonely. I see this as the unavoidable consequence of a new generation who where never taught social skills, and the affluence of a society in which a single person can easily subsist alone in the world without any personal connecton to anyone.

It's only pathetic in that it's actually a choice and not something that is permanent unless you are on a deserted island or in solitary confinement.

Ever hear of hermits????

 

[ladsonbehr49]

being alone is alot different than being lonely in my eyes. One chooses to be alone or be lonely. I myself enjoy being alone than experience some of the crap I am finding in the gay community. I would rather be alone than have a relationships that requires too much work and the rewards are way to few for me. I am never lonely anymore, because I have such wonderful memories of a great relationship and life together and other memories that I do not need to engage in another relationship.. What is pathetic are men who are apparently lonely and they want to have open relationship so they wont have that type of feeling again while they go from man to man to seed and thus avoiding loneliness...that is pathetic to me..

 

[flint1]

Each individual has his own thaughts about alone and lonely!
No one experiences it equally!
No one can judge!
Who are we flesh and blood earthly morsels in any case to adjudicate another's mind and soul ?
Who can say off hand how much happiness or sore prevails within any individual ?
Tread very lightly on this one !!!

Hugs to all !

 

[_avg_]

Lonely = Pathetic

 

[sxjTheFirst]

I used to think so. Now I guard my lone-time zealously. More I live alone more I got to like it.

 

[nudeyorker]

I think that there are many equations to this question. I enjoy alone time, but I am not lonely. After my significant other died I was lonely until I had the strength to start my life over and face the world again.
I lived in Italy once and knew very few people and did not speak the language well and I was homesick but not lonely; I felt isolated more than anything else until I found my way with new people and a language so I could communicate effectively.
I rarely judge but what I do find pathetic is someone who would choose to be in a bad or wrong relationship rather than be alone. If you are alone and/or lonely and unwilling to take the steps necessary to fill the void in your life and prefer to be a victim in life rather than an active participant than I find that rather sad as well... but it is only pathetic when someone chooses this path and views others who have not with disdain.

 

[ZOS23xy]

Lonely is pathetic if there's a whine that goes along with it.

 

[deleted3782]

I used to think so. Now I guard my lone-time zealously. More I live alone more I got to like it.

I have to agree. There are times when I enjoy being around people...but the older I get, the more I guard my alone-time...and revel in it.

Maybe the opposite side of the spectrum of "lonely" is the attention whore?

 

[nudeyorker]

I have to agree. There are times when I enjoy being around people...but the older I get, the more I guard my alone-time...and revel in it.

Maybe the opposite side of the spectrum of "lonely" is the attention whore?

Most of the attention whores I know are really quite lonely and insecure. I think the attention is the drug that numbs the issues of their life.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

there isn't anything "pathetic" about being lonely. i don't think people who are lonely are pathetic and i never have. sometimes it's better to be completely happy alone and by yourself, rather than surrounded by people who you don't feel happy being around. just because some people choose to be by themselves doesn't make them any less than those who are surrounded by others. from what i've observed in life, it doesn't take a lonely person to be pathetic; often, people who are always surrounded by others are the loneliest and the most pathetic.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

Most of the attention whores I know are really quite lonely and insecure. I think the attention is the drug that numbs the issues of their life.

ohhh, you must know my sister! :tongue: i love her to death, but i can't stand being around her overdramatic attention-craving ways.

 

[nudeyorker]

ohhh, you must know my sister! :tongue: i love her to death, but i can't stand being around her overdramatic attention-craving ways.

I think there is a drama queen in every family!