I will try to write this in a way that will not bait people into telling me I need therapy.
Because I have heard it all before...and I don't have the money or the insurance to do it...and I am not that bad off...except that I am still pretty sexless.
Basically I have avoided sexual encounters forever because of various sexual insecurities.
I questioned my sexuality pretty hardcore for years...never coming to a firm conclusion.
That was one reason.
I have moobs, pretty hardcore. Another reason.
And my dick is shorter than I would like. That might have been a subconcious lesser reason.
With sexuality, I have come to realize, that I want to hook up with women.
I have feelings towards men now and again, some are emotional and some are just glancing at dicks in this site and having some sort of reaction. But it is not something I feel I need to act out, although I am not closed to future possibilites.
But the thing about dicks, is that the feeling that goes deeper than the slightly turned on because a big dick just drips sex feeling is the intense feeling of sadness I get when I look at a big attractive cock and think about a particular girl.
I have had several sexual encounters in the past year or so.
No one said anything bad about my penis, and one even said something positive..
But there was one other that by all logical means should have dissapeared from my life long ago...but she calls now and then.
And now I am tormented.
I want her close to me so badly.
Her soft little body.
But I feel I would need a big one to keep her next to me.
So I avoid her.
She knows almost everything about me...but she doesn't know about my penis.
I am tall and attractive, and occasionally have a sort of arrogance that may be mistaken for big dick swagger.
I am afraid she has done this.
I didn't mind showing my dick to other girls...or whoever for that matter.
I even whipped it out in traffic when someone mooned me the other day...but with this girl it is different...I really care what she thinks.
Two weeks ago she called out of nowhere...first time in months.
We were talking about how I am half a foot taller than my Dad, and he is half a foot taller than his Dad was.
I jokingly said my kids are going to be 9 feet tall.
She laughed and said "go big or go home"
That sort of triggered this whole feeling of inadequacy.
On the other hand...she called me again after I told her about lots of other things.
Maybe it is time I just take a real risk and really pursue her...and if she rejects me...I can move on...whaddya all think?
Because I have heard it all before...and I don't have the money or the insurance to do it...and I am not that bad off...except that I am still pretty sexless.
Basically I have avoided sexual encounters forever because of various sexual insecurities.
I questioned my sexuality pretty hardcore for years...never coming to a firm conclusion.
That was one reason.
I have moobs, pretty hardcore. Another reason.
And my dick is shorter than I would like. That might have been a subconcious lesser reason.
With sexuality, I have come to realize, that I want to hook up with women.
I have feelings towards men now and again, some are emotional and some are just glancing at dicks in this site and having some sort of reaction. But it is not something I feel I need to act out, although I am not closed to future possibilites.
But the thing about dicks, is that the feeling that goes deeper than the slightly turned on because a big dick just drips sex feeling is the intense feeling of sadness I get when I look at a big attractive cock and think about a particular girl.
I have had several sexual encounters in the past year or so.
No one said anything bad about my penis, and one even said something positive..
But there was one other that by all logical means should have dissapeared from my life long ago...but she calls now and then.
And now I am tormented.
I want her close to me so badly.
Her soft little body.
But I feel I would need a big one to keep her next to me.
So I avoid her.
She knows almost everything about me...but she doesn't know about my penis.
I am tall and attractive, and occasionally have a sort of arrogance that may be mistaken for big dick swagger.
I am afraid she has done this.
I didn't mind showing my dick to other girls...or whoever for that matter.
I even whipped it out in traffic when someone mooned me the other day...but with this girl it is different...I really care what she thinks.
Two weeks ago she called out of nowhere...first time in months.
We were talking about how I am half a foot taller than my Dad, and he is half a foot taller than his Dad was.
I jokingly said my kids are going to be 9 feet tall.
She laughed and said "go big or go home"
That sort of triggered this whole feeling of inadequacy.
On the other hand...she called me again after I told her about lots of other things.
Maybe it is time I just take a real risk and really pursue her...and if she rejects me...I can move on...whaddya all think?