Long Term Relationships

Ed69

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I guess I'm a cave man.I gave my word in front of God Country and family to love honor and cherish till death do us part.My wife did the same,and took my sire name on that day.We don't always get along it's not a bed of roses.Sometimes we agree to disagree.There have been times we've thought about sex with other people.We even tried it out one time and decided we don't like sharing,that went bad no details too ugly.Heart, mind,soul and body we belong to one another.So I guess we don't belong to the new open throw away generation.

P.S.We do however like porn in all it's forms!We've bein going at it this way for 17 years!
 

snoozan

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BTW... prenuptials ARE a big deal. The lack of them almost screwed me for life financially when I divorced my ex, and I will NOT marry again without things being clearly stated.

When you have assets or potential assets, they need to be protected. It's not romance, it's business.

i agree with this if you have children. i also think both parties should come out of a marriage if it dissolves not destitute. but so many prenups seem to be almost punitive in nature, and i can't get with that.
 

Jovial

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I don't think a prenup is a guarantee for failure anymore than car insurance is a guarantee that you'll get in an accident. People sometimes change over time. If things don't work out, a prenup could prevent a lot of the nastiness of divorce.

Also, a prenup could be used to guarantee an inheritance if a spouse dies, preventing the deceased's family from disinheriting the widow(er).

Yeah, and my girlfriend at that time and I certainly had our ups and downs. At that moment, we were having a down. At other times we were up. Eventually, after five years, I asked myself if I could marry her and be happy, and the answer was no, so I ended it.
Why did it take 5 years to decide you couldn't marry her? I think most people could determine this in a year at most. I don't know why people just drag on in relationships like this. (You don't have to respond.)
 

Damian Johnson

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Princess you are soo right to last a relationship needs to be worked at
To last it needs communication understanding trust openness and tolerance from both sides
I also think you need to love someone for who they are don't expect them to be 100% perfect and forgive mistakes
You also need to keep a spark in the relationship by doing different and unplanned and exciting things together
 

snoozan

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Why did it take 5 years to decide you couldn't marry her? I think most people could determine this in a year at most. I don't know why people just drag on in relationships like this. (You don't have to respond.)

I assumed that since Guy-jin is young that it was a college relationship-- and those are a lot different than relationships we get into as we get older.

Even so, you can't assume that every relationship has a timeframe where you know or don't know if it's going to work. Sometimes you know in months that you'll be married, sometimes both parties honestly don't know for years. It doesn't look like his ex knew either, because she stuck around for five years without giving him an ultimatum.
 

The Dragon

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I consider myself a sweet and giving person but I still couldn't make my marrige work.
I couldn't clean the house enough.
Cook meals well enough.
Had to be told how to load the dishwasher and washing machine and was always was told by his parents what was expected of wives in "this family".
He was boring and lazy in the bedroom.
He was very over weight, was prone to breaking a sweat standing still and was that hairy he looked like the missing link.
I put up with all this for 7 years trying to please him and make him happy
and to be a good little wife because I belived in "till death do us part".
It ended because he walked out.
At this point in my life I don't feel like I will ever marry again.
 

The Dragon

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He'd hoist his vast bulk on top of me for 10 minutes of rutting, coat me in sweat, body hair and saliva, cum, roll over and go to sleep.
 

B_cigarbabe

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I don't put much faith in fidelity. Every man I have ever been with had a woman on the side.With the exceptions of my husbands.
All three were,and are faithful to me. The second one is still faithful,hoping I will return! I don't put a great deal into fidelity being the reason I would get divorced. It's only sex to me, and for me sex without attachment doesn't mean a whole lot. I encourage Mr. Ed to be with a w/m if he chooses. I don't need to hear about it either.Just don't do it in my bed!
Mr. Ed feels exactly, the opposite of me,though. He would want to know if I cheated on him with another woman,I really can't get behind telling your lover,that you were with someone else. It will only devastate them,and even though Mr. Ed says he'd want me to tell him,I know, I
could not in good conscience,tell him. I also don't have the desire to be with anybody fortunately,but I don't advocate telling.Ever. Unless your finished with that marriage.
Pre-nups are just business arrangements.
I like being married,I always jump right into, any relationship I'm pursuing.
But I tried to be fairly quick about ending it,when it isn't working.
cigarbabe:saevil:
 

Ed69

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He'd hoist his vast bulk on top of me for 10 minutes of rutting, coat me in sweat, body hair and saliva, cum, roll over and go to sleep.

Wow that's sad to hear!Even when my wife and I do a quickie I want to know she got off on it.And I still need to hold her after,I know I'm strange like that!If I go to sleep it's only after a good session for both of us and i still want to hold her.:wink:

P.S.He walked out,what a fool!Don't give up there will be a man for you.
 

B_Nick8

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My neice and her fiance are getting married, the first of the new generation, and they're being told they have to get a prenup. Not because no one buys their relationship, but because they're 'not capable of making the right decisions' about their money now--they are really young-- and its important that their kids be protected. On the other hand, I know how I would have felt if I would have been told that. I would have been out of my friggin mind.

I've always known who I was with my lovers, men and women and I was totally committed 100%. Cheating emotionally or physically was never a possibility or an option, but that's me and I think I'm sort of a freak. I'm always really in the moment and present, if that makes sense.

Yikes, Princess, I got really real. Thanks for nothing!:)
 

Drifterwood

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I cahnged my opinion on prenups recently.

First, the bare facts are that if you get married now, you are more than likely to get divorced, those are just the stats.

Secondly, I have seen too many friends get burned, male and more recently female friends.

Thirdly, I overheard two women discussing the other week, what their friend had managed to get out of her divorce. It was disgusting.
 

SpoiledPrincess

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I prefer to leave it to the courts to decide what's fair in individual cases, for instance what about a woman who'd left a good career (which she wasn't able to take up again) to look after their mutual kids, 25 years later he has a successful and lucrative career and he leaves her for a younger model, she's spent all that time with him, she deserves to come out of it with something to show for her time - after all her support enabled him to get where he was.
 

Osiris

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Which is the kind of thing that makes long term relationships work. The truth is, all relationships suck at one time or another, even the good ones. It's having that foresight to not make rash decisions like that based on a committment that makes a long term relationship work. IMO.

Very true...

And also the reason I'll never get that weekend away in the mountains with Snoozie. :wink:

Part of the thing is we are such an instant gratification society. Everything has to be decided in the moment. We also are quick ro discard just as quickly. LTRs are not like the latest car. You just don't trade it inj once a year. It should be treeated like a collector's car. Loved, nurtured, and new components added to keep ot fresh and alive.

Just my two cents.
 

Drifterwood

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I prefer to leave it to the courts to decide what's fair in individual cases, for instance what about a woman who'd left a good career (which she wasn't able to take up again) to look after their mutual kids, 25 years later he has a successful and lucrative career and he leaves her for a younger model, she's spent all that time with him, she deserves to come out of it with something to show for her time - after all her support enabled him to get where he was.

With all due respect i hear this all the time, but in reality I have seen it seldom.

It can equally be translated as, he provides the home and income for her to do what she finds completely fulfilling, ie having kids. The lust and love leaves the relationship, he feels he comes about third at best in her attentions and gets out while he still can pull a younger model.

I am afraid that I just don't buy it that women only have kids to support their husbands wild exciting careers. Most guys I know are putting it out at least 90% of the time for their families. Somehow then, if they do well, they owe it all to their wives. ?? :confused:
 

Not_Punny

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Yeah, well, my ex wanted palimony because he hadn't had a steady job for over a year when we broke up. I also had future monies tied up in, well, tied up in stuff. At the time, I was hard pressed to make ends meet, let alone pay for two households. Fortunately, he backed down and we shook hands.

Now, I have come a long way, baby, and I'm building assets one by one. I've helped others as much as I can, but I don't want to EVER have to lower my lifestyle or have anything taken away from my kids. My kids were always there for me, every step of the way. They're an integral part of who I became and what I was eventually able to do.
 

Drifterwood

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A different point to what SP was saying HM. But I will be the last to deny that guys can be complete Dbags. I have a friend whose husband left her for a wealthy woman and even so tried to take her money that she needed for the kids.

It's another reason why I think the law is shit.
 

Axcess

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I prefer one night stands really , I hate relationships . Relationships are often consuming. Nobody order me what to do.:mad::mad::cool::cool: