Long Term Relationships

SassySpy

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 14, 2006
Posts
1,257
Media
17
Likes
139
Points
208
Location
Seattle USA,
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
First off, Congratulations, SassySpy! My best wishes for a long and happy marriage together.

Thanks, Gilly! Took me a long time to make my choice, but I am sure its the right one. Doesn't mean I don't have nervous flutters in my tummy........ its scary even when one is sure of their decision- :rolleyes:


I think prenuptual agreements do unfortunately suggest that the marriage will end but they are not an indication that it will. I don't think you need to have much wealth to want one either. If you so much as own your own home it's an intelligent thing to do. I'm going to go so far and say that I would be concerned that a man who wasn't aware of the importance of a prenup would be similarly lacking of caution in other areas. Conducting business on a handshake is a noble idea but it won't hold up in court.

I completely agree with the fidelity issue. I can't wrap my head around the concept of sharing your partner and I don't wish to. Nor would I be happy if my partner was comfortable sharing me with another.

I guess its exactly that part I have a problem with when it comes to pre-nups... that 'safety net' in the event the marriage does not last, on one hand says to me "I dont have faith in a lifetime commitment here" but on the other hand it says to me " I believe we have a lifetime together before us, but there are no 100% guarantees that I am right"
I'm glad I'm not wealthy or marrying wealth- one less decision to consider and discuss.
I hope for and expect 100% fidelity, but count on 100% honesty regardless.
 

Axcess

Experimental Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2007
Posts
1,611
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
123
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I got a friend that is very popular with the ladies , that he said that long term relationships are for wussies. :confused::confused: I wouldn't go as far as to say that about long term relationships.
 

B_TakeSomeGamble

Just Browsing
Joined
Jan 23, 2008
Posts
36
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
91
Location
Alabama
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
IMO most people nowadays rush into marriage, they date for a little bit, the sex is great, the girl (or guy) is hot, everythings clicking, so set the date, get the dress and invite your family to a wedding. But how long have you known the person, have you been around them in all different kind of situations, seen the real them, not the image they put on to impress you? I think there are many different ways to get to know each other before you get married, but thats a different story entirely.

As for me, I dont believe in prenups, call me old fashioned, but Im not going to get married or even engaged without fully knowing the person Im in love with. And if both parties enter committed to making the relationship lasting till death do them part, AND they stick to that committment till death do them part, then it will last forever. Fights happen, sometimes she's just had a bad day at work, or planning the wedding is getting to her, stressing her out, or her mom died when she was a child and you go somewhere that she went with her mom when she was a kid (Ok, all those were examples from my own experiences with Carmen)

But in marriage, I believe, call me old fashioned, but i believe that two become one, not just in name or finances, but they know what each other is thinking, and if they get sad, they know how to cheer each other up, and will always put the others happiness over their own.

Well, yes when it comes to dating and marriage, im old fashioned, but I want this love to last forever
 

ClaireTalon

Experimental Member
Joined
Nov 10, 2005
Posts
1,917
Media
0
Likes
16
Points
183
Age
60
Location
Puget Sound
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I'm anti-relationship. :smile:

I used to be the same, but opinions can change. Truely, they can!

I'm not going to qualify everything I say with 'some' 'a lot' 'often'.

I see people now getting married, setting up homes together and they go into it with this attitude that it's temporary, that this relationship will do if something better doesn't come along. At the first sign of trouble they leave the relationship. I'm divorced but I worked damned hard to make my marriage work, and when I entered into it I believed that it would last for ever. People make pre-nups, to me that's entering into a marriage with the attitude that you don't expect it to work, that you have no faith in it. Their sex lives get a bit boring and instead of working together to make that better, spicing it up one on one their first thought is to bring someone else into it. A relationship should be about two people. Some people make open marriages work, that's always been the case, but it's not been the norm but now an interest in cuckoldry, in swinging, in getting into a relationship on the understanding sexual fidelity won't be a part of it seems to be common place. People get married and although you still have a right to some things that are exclusively your own you should think of yourself as a couple, a unit and work together to keep things interesting.

Just a few random thoughts, what are yours?

I think pre-nups are a modern fashion that have come up, but I think they are against the spirit of relationship. Of course they make things easier when separation and divorce comes, but starting a relationship and planning marriage is not the same as starting a business venture. There's more to it than the financial aspects, however grieve they may be. Probably that's also the cause why jeopardizing a relationship by extending them to a third person is so easy: With knowing things are sorted out in case of a divorce, this option seems a lot more bearable than really trying to spice your actual relationship up again.

I never got married. I'm currently in my third committed relationship, and it's the first that has lasted longer than a year. We're now entering our third year, if you include the early stages. I surely have never been unhappy about not being married; if you consider relationships as temporary, this should be the way to handle it. It surely saves you from a lot of trouble: emotionally, financially and maybe even physically.