Tallguypns,
I've read through the thread... and in many ways, you remind me of how I was, several years ago. So I found the following really resonated:
Why am I so miserable? Why do I have no friends? Why cant I get a date? Why do the days just slip past me and I feel like i've accomplished nothing with my life? Why do I struggle just make it through a day sometimes, while all the time appearing normal to everyone else? Why do I keep saying things to people that consider me a friend that makes them not want to be my friend anymore? Why can I not stop the "poor me" stuff that I always resort to here and elsewhere? *note, this behavior is purely an online behavior, and not how I act in life. I'm not saying I dont feel this way in life, but rather I can control it there* Why is it the only reason I havent killled myself, thus far, is my incredible fear of what's on the other side of life?
Depression sucks. I'm not sure if you're (speaking from a medical perspective) depressed, but it sounds like you might be. It becomes a vicious circle: feel depressed, withdraw, get ignored (because it's hard for people to pay attention to you when you're withdrawn), get more depressed, repeat.
A few years ago, after a particularly painful breakup, I spent some time with a therapist and asked her the same questions you posed in the section I just quoted. And the bottom-line response is - YOU have to take control of your life, and not just wait for things to happen. Nobody is going to show up to change your life. But change your life yourself, and people will show up to be in it.
There's been a lot of great advice in this thread. Join a gym. Start up with music again. Go out more, join a club. Do something you've always wanted to do, but never had the guts to until now. Find out if there's a medical reason for your feeling the way you do, and if there is, get it addressed by a professional. And, I hate to say it, but get off the internet, or at least, spend less time on it (my piece of concrete advice). I had a wonderful web of internet relationships, oh, 10 years ago or so, but none of them were ever going to blossom into a real, in-person relationship. Perhaps few do. The best thing I did was give a lot of that up and make myself go out and meet people who lived near me and had similar interests.
Above all, do things that make you feel good about yourself. Nobody is going to love you unless you love yourself.
Take baby steps at first if you feel you need to. Or go-all out into something that you've always wanted to. Understand that this is a process, and not something that happens instantaneously. But - and please trust me on this - rest assured that this does work. I am living proof.
Feel better. And get on this stuff. Not next week. Now.