Longing Across the Gym

pinkpineapples

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Staring is creepy.

Either take the initiative to talk to him or ignore him

Yes yes, I agree. It can be. I'm gonna try. Maybe just a 'Hey' as I pass by or something. Idk. The thought of it makes me cringe! :eek:

Aren't "twink" and "buff" mutually exclusive?

Perhaps the phrase "twunk" would've been better? I've seen that one floating around lately lol

I must admit I sometimes walk around naked and show off a bit when it is crowded. I like it when people stare at me. I take my time to towel off and get dressed. Sometimes I pretend i forgot the soap from the shower area and walk back across the locker room naked. It's one of the small things I enjoy in life lol.

Very Nice, I will look for you. :)

Well at first I was just going to blow off this post as crap but then I re-read it.

1-First lets clear the air a little why do you think a straight guy wouldn’t be flattered if you said hello or more?

2-Now going back to getting up your courage why do you think it’s so hard?

3-My only concern is you sound a little immature grow a little back bone but be yourself. Hell you might find out that he too is gay and would love to get to know you better.

1- Not that he wouldn't be flattered, but I barely have the gall to say anything in the first place. Perhaps I fear the rejection or maybe him screaming 'get away from me faggot'? lol Or my favorite line from high school 'queer ass bitch' lol
2-Beyond hello, I don't really know what to say? lol I don't really consider myself the most interesting person and I don't want to have that awkward silence moment. Also, see #1 =)
3-Yes, my social maturity is lacking. I've never been someone to make the first move. If you approach me I am more than willing to be friendly, but I have a hard time making the first step. I work in retail and have to greet people all the time and everytime I go to do it, my heart skips a beat. Idk what's wrong with me lol

Ya, I've been in these shoes...and I'm also naive enough to assume that most guys are at the gym to work out, not to get hit on by other guys.

I agree. I don't want to bother them when they're there to work out. But it would be nice to meet someone who obviously has similar goals?
 

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I must admit I sometimes walk around naked and show off a bit when it is crowded. I like it when people stare at me. I take my time to towel off and get dressed. Sometimes I pretend i forgot the soap from the shower area and walk back across the locker room naked. It's one of the small things I enjoy in life lol.


damn like you need people to notice you. can you come do the same in my gym.
 

monel

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Hi pinkpinapples. It isn't for you to decide whether you are interesting. That is for others to decide. Say "Hello". Don't have any expectations greater than to be friendly. Then, the next day you see him maybe he'll say "Hello" first. And you can respond with "How are you?" The next thing you know you'll have a conversation going and even if nothing "romantic" ever comes from it you'll have a friend at the gym, which will make going that much easier and more fun. Don't be setting your goals so high. You're only adding to your anxiety about speaking to him.
 

pinkpineapples

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Hi pinkpinapples. It isn't for you to decide whether you are interesting. That is for others to decide. Say "Hello". Don't have any expectations greater than to be friendly. Then, the next day you see him maybe he'll say "Hello" first. And you can respond with "How are you?" The next thing you know you'll have a conversation going and even if nothing "romantic" ever comes from it you'll have a friend at the gym, which will make going that much easier and more fun. Don't be setting your goals so high. You're only adding to your anxiety about speaking to him.

Probably my favorite piece of advice so far. I've def been aiming for relationship status and I know I need to make a friendly connection first. I might try it out, see where it gets me. Although, like I said, it'll take me forever to muster up enough courage to talk to him haha
 

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I really think you need to work on your self esteem a little. Listen usually when a guy says something to me in the gym unless I am doing squats (300 to 350lbs) I don’t get upset although it will be small talk usually since I am working out. Unless you prance around with a limp wrist and tight pink volleyball shorts how are you so sure they will know your GAY? If they do so what? Us straight guys have GAY friends too. Besides no gym management will put up with a straight dude pounding a gay guy.

I mean really in my experience most straight guys who stress their sexuality aren’t really sure of it in the first place that’s why they go out of their way to stress “I’m straight”. In the Recon (Marine Special Forces) we have a saying ~ silent but deadly. You don’t have to tell someone who you are you show them.

So maybe even though there is an obvious physical attraction you start out by saying hi and small talk. Then maybe ask if he would like to grab coffee or something one day after a workout. Get to know him first to determine what your next step is. If it were easy we wouldn’t need prostitution.

Now put on your game face and get in there and at least say hello and go from there. The worst that can happen he will ignore you and I doubt that will be the case regardless if you get to take him to bed of not. Of course you do live in a somewhat conservative and prejudice place (VA) I was stationed at Quantico for awhile. Although pretty not really into inbred narrow minded people…

Good Luck
 

pinkpineapples

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I really think you need to work on your self esteem a little. Listen usually when a guy says something to me in the gym unless I am doing squats (300 to 350lbs) I don’t get upset although it will be small talk usually since I am working out. Unless you prance around with a limp wrist and tight pink volleyball shorts how are you so sure they will know your GAY? If they do so what? Us straight guys have GAY friends too. Besides no gym management will put up with a straight dude pounding a gay guy.

I mean really in my experience most straight guys who stress their sexuality aren’t really sure of it in the first place that’s why they go out of their way to stress “I’m straight”. In the Recon (Marine Special Forces) we have a saying ~ silent but deadly. You don’t have to tell someone who you are you show them.

So maybe even though there is an obvious physical attraction you start out by saying hi and small talk. Then maybe ask if he would like to grab coffee or something one day after a workout. Get to know him first to determine what your next step is. If it were easy we wouldn’t need prostitution.

Now put on your game face and get in there and at least say hello and go from there. The worst that can happen he will ignore you and I doubt that will be the case regardless if you get to take him to bed of not. Of course you do live in a somewhat conservative and prejudice place (VA) I was stationed at Quantico for awhile. Although pretty not really into inbred narrow minded people…

Good Luck

Yeah, I have self esteem/confidence issues. Stems from a lot of verbal abuse in my life, I suppose. Details are lengthy and you don't want to be my therapist lol.

I'll say I'm going to try. Hopefully I will. Already nervous lol. Don't understand why this kinda stuff is so hard ~_~
 

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I was about to mention that. I can almost 'read' your pain if that's possible. Self-esteem has been shattered, and it takes time and work to rebuild it. It's really hard to love someone else when you can't love yourself, or are your own worst enemy by criticizing every action.

I always use humor as my ice breaker. It seems to work well. If he works out in some T-shirt you could always make a comment about the business, school, etc. on it. "Hey that's a cool shirt, where did you get it?" Maybe you could ask him about a particular machine he uses, or ask him what some of his secrets are to having a toned body. It takes lots of practice but mostly belief in yourself, and a little creativity to come up with something to say. But you CAN do it!!

Another question: what will you consider 'success'? How high is your goal? Will you be satisfied simply to say hi to him when you see him, or will you be disappointed if he's straight and has no interest in you? The higher your goal, the more likely you are to be let down if it doesn't reach that ideal. Don't expect so much right away... just take things a step at a time.

Good luck! Let us know what happens!!
 

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Originally Posted by Dominic87
I must admit I sometimes walk around naked and show off a bit when it is crowded. I like it when people stare at me. I take my time to towel off and get dressed. Sometimes I pretend i forgot the soap from the shower area and walk back across the locker room naked. It's one of the small things I enjoy in life lol.

I need to get out more, but I'm glad there are still gyms where a man can be, see, and do. And to be there and see an athlete like you with all the curves, bulges, and protrusions in all the right places. That would be an adventure!

My 2 cents worth of advice for
pinkpineapple
_Longing Across the Gym is offered because I have a similar fantasizable situation at work, and he is blond, smooth, well-built, 35ish, & nearly 77 inches...tall, so I fantasize being at his gym with him, or lapping my way up his large smooth inner thighs under his desk. HERE's MY 2-cents: I could be wrong, but I think that athletic people are attracted to maybe smaller or larger, but similar body-types; and I viewed your photos and YOU need some work. Are you sure you are strong enough to take what he has to dish out? You have all the tools, so harden and sharpen them up, maybe remove some hair here and there. Set your self-improvement goals and get half-way there, THEN COMPLIMENT HIM and ASK HIM to be your trainer, or ask for help or guidance. If he responds, be a slave to his directions. Show him you are eager do what ever he tells you to do. Put in the extra time. Build your body, heart, sense of well-being, and maybe even a meaningful friendship or relationship. Good Luck! For what it's worth, I am actually a mostly happy, and intentionally perverse married grandfather of six, or else I would be taking my own sage advice for the physical and passionate thrill of it all.
 

pinkpineapples

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I could be wrong, but I think that athletic people are attracted to maybe smaller or larger, but similar body-types; and I viewed your photos and YOU need some work. Are you sure you are strong enough to take what he has to dish out? You have all the tools, so harden and sharpen them up, maybe remove some hair here and there.

Wow...basically I'm not good enough for someone you've never seen lol. What happened to liking someone for the person they are, not what they look like? Didn't know I had to completely change who I am to make someone happy lol

And I am a member of this gym to WORK on myself. I was 18 lbs heavier than my most recent pictures, so yeah. I'm working on it...
 

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. . . I assume that its easier to flirt online or in a gay bar as opposed to a gym where this is risk and danger in showing same-sex attraction. . . . .

Maybe in North Carolina, but if you moved to NYC, you might find even in "straight" gyms that it's pretty easy to meet people, even if you don't want to meet them, especially if you're stupid, like me. :wink:

Hi pinkpinapples. It isn't for you to decide whether you are interesting. That is for others to decide. Say "Hello". Don't have any expectations greater than to be friendly. Then, the next day you see him maybe he'll say "Hello" first. And you can respond with "How are you?" The next thing you know you'll have a conversation going and even if nothing "romantic" ever comes from it you'll have a friend at the gym, which will make going that much easier and more fun. Don't be setting your goals so high. You're only adding to your anxiety about speaking to him.

I agree that Monel has given some of the best advice here. Also, you can't always assume who is straight and who isn't.

Good luck to you!
 

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I know just what you are experiencing, Pink. Many of us have that inhibited element in us. I see some good advice for you here. I would suggest that you try to make acquaintances without thinking that they will lead to sex. Just make them. If they develop into anything more than saying "hello," you will find out whether the guys are interested in that. Work on your self-esteem. Get some help there if you think you need it. Saying "HI" to someone and smiling doesn't necessarily mean to him that you are on the make. Loosen up a little. You are a person of worth. Don't disparage yourself.
 

musclebare9

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You need to listen to yourself. "What happened to liking someone for the person they are, not what they look like?" You see someone across the gym that you think is attractive and you want to have a relationship based on that. You are condemning others for the same thing that you are doing.


Wow...basically I'm not good enough for someone you've never seen lol. What happened to liking someone for the person they are, not what they look like? Didn't know I had to completely change who I am to make someone happy lol

And I am a member of this gym to WORK on myself. I was 18 lbs heavier than my most recent pictures, so yeah. I'm working on it...
 

pinkpineapples

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You need to listen to yourself. "What happened to liking someone for the person they are, not what they look like?" You see someone across the gym that you think is attractive and you want to have a relationship based on that. You are condemning others for the same thing that you are doing.

The difference is, he is telling me to better my physical appearance for someone else, versus me simply being physically attracted to this guy. I don't know this person, so of course all I can base anything off of is his physical appearance and the way he holds himself. I'm not saying that's all I'm interested in or would be interested in. Just saying, he looks good and he's obviously taking care of himself. I would never want a relationship with someone solely based on that criteria. I'm not that shallow, nor do I appreciate the implication.

Besides, physical attraction is part of what connects 2 people, yes? If you aren't in the least bit attracted to your potential suitor...where's that going to get you? No, he doesn't have to be the "epitome of godly perfection" as I put it lol. I'm just saying, in this instance, he's undeniably gorgeous. Is that so wrong? X_x

...Le sigh...

And if it seems like that's all I care about, it couldn't be further from the truth! Honestly, looks and sex...that's fine and dandy, but I simply want someone to care for and care for me. I've never had that connection with someone and I've always wanted it. At the end of the day, I just want to be loved.

"And that's all I got to say about that." - Forrest Gump
 

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If you can't even speak to the dude. Leave it a fantasy. Why spend your time worshipping someone...kinda one demensional. Go jerk off to buff dude porn and leave yourself and this man some real life dignity.
 

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^^^But this is how it all starts. He said he's never had a deep romantic connection, right? So, the start of someone's love life is always going to be shallow because that's the only romantic notion they have any perspective on. I say he should go for it, and have fun with whatever happens. He's still young and having fun with the rest of his life, so there's absolutely no pressure for this to go anywhere. It's just innocent fun, and if something happens COOL!
 
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I have a bit of a gym crush going on right now. This guy is half my age (in his early 20s), and absolutely gourgeous! He has a cute face, great body, nice bubble butt, and a large uncut cock with low hanging balls. He and I have used the hot tub, steam room and open shower together nude many times (we just happened to be in there at the same time). The second time this happened, I struck up a conversation with him in the steam room, extended my hand to shake hands with him and introduced myself. He introduced himself and the rest is history. I see him pretty much every week that I go in now, and we always stop and talk. I have to admit that he is my motivation to go in and workout at the Y sometimes. I like talking with him becasue he's a really cool guy, and I love using the hot tub, steam room and shower naked with him for some casual glancing. He's as uninhibited as I am about nudity, which is awesome and unusual for a guy in his early 20s nowadays. The funny thing is that a few times I have finished my workout before him, headed to the locker room and 5 minutes later he is in there as well. I have wondered if he enjoys checking me out as much as I enjoy checking him out! :tongue:

I agree with what other guys have said here. Casually say something to him like, "Hi, how you doing? I always see you here." and see where it leads. If he's an obnoxious dick back to you, you know that he's not worth your time. Most guys in my experience are pretty friendly in the gym.
 
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B_jeepguy2

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Have you ever just seen someone that was... I don't know, THE epitome of godly perfection? lol I swear, this guy is sculpted like a Greek god x_X! He's gorgeous and ahh, he totally knows it. He struts all slow like he knows he's sexy and it just makes him a bit more sexy. Normally I find that kind of thing a turn off. I don't want you to KNOW your sexy, I want you to know that I KNOW you're sexy lol. (if that makes sense to anyone?)

Is it wrong to stare? I find myself looking at him ALL the time when he's there. I swear he could've walked off a Corbin Fisher set. All 'musclely' and mmm. We make eye contact quite a bit, but I think that has more to do with the fact that he sees me looking? heh

Once I was upstairs on the treadmill and he was behind me going downstairs to the free weights and I got off the machine and turned around and he was turned around looking at me looking at him lol. Don't know whether to assume this is something...? In my case I highly doubt it. I am truly horrible when pinpointing potential suitors lol. Every guy I eye, no lie, is straight. No lie. Ever since high school. So maybe he's just looking cause I'm looking.

Gah he's just so !!!!<3<3!!!<3!!! lol He makes my heart, head, and the other head go pitterpatter (yes in that order!) Wish I could muster up courage to talk to him, but yeah. No way in hell lol. He's a 10 and I'm maybe a 5? lol Hard to say, I'm my own worse critic so~

Just had to put this out there. I've seen him for awhile now and I just don't have anyone else to talk to about it, so. It's one big rambling mess, incoherent maybe? Meh. Wish I could upload the image from my brain...mmm

Oh yeah there was a dude who was like that at my school. I saw him naked in the gym locker room once and he was absolutely perfect. I had noticed him on campus and in the gym for a while and then one day I saw him sitting at a table in the dining hall laving lunch with one of my friends so went and joined them. I got to know the dude and he was a cool guy, but I found out he was straight and engaged. BUMMER!

I found this all out without even disclosing the fact that I was gay or into him. I am sure he noticed me checkign him out but I suspect that most guys str8 or gay checked him out because he had beautiful face and an AMAZING body.
 

pinkpineapples

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Yeah, I'm gonna try to say something. If at the very least 'hi'... although it just seems/feels weird to me to talk to someone i dont know lol. My brain understands that this is how we meet people and get to know them, but everything else in my body shudders at the thought of initiating contact lol. I'm weird*shrug*

Luckily I dont think he showers at the gym, so I've never seen him naked or shirtless. Just is very nice arms and legs and face and....Off track. Dunno if I'd be able to not stare if he were standing in front of me naked lol.

The friend route must've def been a big help. Wish i had an 'in' with him, but i dont. I think what worries me is his reaction to the 'hi'? I'm not a social butterfly in the least. Thinking about it makes me panicky lol
 

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If at the very least 'hi'... although it just seems/feels weird to me to talk to someone i dont know lol.



DONT forget, its likely they dont know you either, so your both on an even keel to start with...

a part of growing up and the maturity we are supposed to attain as Adults is supposed to be taking over at this stage of yr life


Most of us older folk i geuss have been thru it, and all i can suggest is
Kia Kaha ..be STRONG' in NZ Maori
enz