Look Down When You See Him

andigazed

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Look down when you see him. What do experts in non-verbal communication say this means?
 

MickeyLee

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Context is everything.

Usually looking down away is my avoidance technique. Think "fuck, they've seen me!" with a following inner monologue of "please don't come over"

Some coy folk consider the move flirtatious. Human are strange.
 

andigazed

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Context is everything.

Usually looking down away is my avoidance technique. Think "fuck, they've seen me!" with a following inner monologue of "please don't come over"

Some coy folk consider the move flirtatious. Human are strange.


Yes, that's one valid interpretation. But for me it's more like a reaction to an unapologetic ,savage, invasion of my privacy, wherein, people are concealing their knowledge of something immorally, and unlawfully exposed. Then there are the liars lying on me...
 

andigazed

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Curious as to why you wouldn't seek this information straight from the source (a nonverbal communication expert) rather than asking randomly on an anonymous forum.

:no_mouth:
People won't own their microaggressions. Look down when you see him is just a non-violent , non-verbal way to ridicule which can be easily denied when caught. Any confrontation makes the confronted the aggressor subject to penalty. It's what they do.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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People won't own their microaggressions. Look down when you see him is just a non-violent , non-verbal way to ridicule which can be easily denied when caught. Any confrontation makes the confronted the aggressor subject to penalty. It's what they do.

Why did you ask this as a question if you were just planning on telling everyone who took the time to reply that they're wrong?

Maybe some people are doing what you described. Maybe others are dealing with PTSD or agoraphobia. Maybe they're just plain shy.

Different people express different feelings in different ways.

If you find that most people avoid eye contact with you, there's a common denominator. That would be You. Instead of blaming everyone around you for "microaggressions" you should take a look at you. Ask yourself if you met yourself (someone exactly like you, but who isn't actually you, to clarify) would you want to be around that person? Would you feel comfortable around them? How often do you catch yourself avoiding eye contact with a stranger? I'd be willing to bet you've done it at least once in your life. Probably lots more than that. It's natural. You're allowed to not want to talk to people if you don't want to. You also can't force other people *to* talk to you. They also have free will. And theirs shouldn't make you feel bad about you.

No one is obligated to make you feel good about yourself but you.
 

andigazed

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Why did you ask this as a question if you were just planning on telling everyone who took the time to reply that they're wrong?

Maybe some people are doing what you described. Maybe others are dealing with PTSD or agoraphobia. Maybe they're just plain shy.

Different people express different feelings in different ways.

If you find that most people avoid eye contact with you, there's a common denominator. That would be You. Instead of blaming everyone around you for "microaggressions" you should take a look at you. Ask yourself if you met yourself (someone exactly like you, but who isn't actually you, to clarify) would you want to be around that person? Would you feel comfortable around them? How often do you catch yourself avoiding eye contact with a stranger? I'd be willing to bet you've done it at least once in your life. Probably lots more than that. It's natural. You're allowed to not want to talk to people if you don't want to. You also can't force other people *to* talk to you. They also have free will. And theirs shouldn't make you feel bad about you.

No one is obligated to make you feel good about yourself but you.

Look down when you see him is a very specific instruction given to Express the concealment of disgust, the masking of being repulsed by someone when you encounter them. I've not said your interpretation of what that means is wrong @Tight_N_Juicy, I am seeking to discuss those instances when the "look down when you see him", presents as a form of punitive social judgement.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Look down when you see him is a very specific instruction given to Express the concealment of disgust, the masking of being repulsed by someone when you encounter them. I've not said your interpretation of what that means is wrong @Tight_N_Juicy, I am seeking to discuss those instances when the "look down when you see him", presents as a form of punitive social judgement.

Some people might actually think they're communicating respect to you by not making eye contact and lowering their heads.

Different people do different things for different reasons. Culture, individual experiences, mental health status... There are a lot of factors.

Body language isn't an exact science. Experts in the field will tell you straight up that they're only about 60-65% accurate in their analysis because of what I just described. There are too many variables to consider so it's not possible to know for a fact why someone makes a specific gesture outside of asking the individual making the gesture in the first place.

I'm not an expert but I used to enjoy watching one on YouTube. His content kinda changed a bit and he does more typical "is this celebrity lying?" stuff which I find boring but he used to talk more about the science itself. Here's his channel:
https://youtube.com/c/ObserveWithLogan
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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As others have already noted, it could mean several things from a shyness to look at someone directly, a disregard for someone (as if to say you are so unimportant to me I don't even see you) or just cultural manners most people were taught as not to stare prolonged at someone as it comes across as hostile or creepy. It of course could also mean someone is lying to you if they are also telling you something as unless they are good at it, most people can't look at someone in the face when they do it.

For me being a lifelong introvert, I was never 100% comfortable looking at others directly and was always looking down that had nothing to do with my actual feelings towards that person or that I was trying to communicate some hidden hostility or judgment AKA "micro-aggressions" (that I consider a made-up term). It could also be the fact, that for me in certain areas and environments that I grew up in, people were taught to basically disregard others unless necessary or "look through them" as a survival mechanism.

Combined with my shyness, I found this was a hard habit to break when I worked at in an occupation that required the exact opposite method of purposefully staring down others so they know you are watching and alert so to give off a "don't even think about fucking with me" vibe.

So maybe it is simply any of the above or it might be that the person really doesn't want to engage with you for whatever reason and trying to give a non-verbal hint. I would suggest you take the hint and move on. Unless this person is a friend, significant other or family member whose working things out is important to you, who cares what their motivation is; just leave them alone.
 

twoton

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Look down when you see him is a very specific instruction given to Express the concealment of disgust, the masking of being repulsed by someone when you encounter them.

In what culture is this a specific instruction? I’ve never heard anyone say this except by you in this thread.
 

halcyondays

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Staten Island culture? jk ;)

In my experience if the good people of NYC are disgusted with you they aren't afraid to give you an angry look of disgust and even a flip of the bird.
 

TurkeyWithaSunburn

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Look down when you see him. What do experts in non-verbal communication say this means?
Not enough information.
Do you look down when you see him? And who is this "him"? Is it a him that stares at you and you think likes you? Is it a him that glares at you cuz you ran over his dog? Is it a command given in a BDSM relationship scene? Is it you avoiding him wanting to be invisible when around him? Is the him in question doing something in public again and you are trying to avoid vicarious embarassment?

So many things it could be and so little contextual information as to how it could be applied.
(Also usually you pay experts for their working knowledge.)
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