Looking for a gay friend...huh?

[Balljunkie]

Straight friends, it works. I am gay, and have several straight male friends. Am I trying to convert any of them? Hell nah. We are friends. We watch football together, baseball, boxing, and basketball. When I want to go to the gay clubs or bars, I call my gay friends to do that.

I have at least 6 really good friends that are gay. There has never been an attraction. We are friends. And the whole myth of the gay man as a sexual predator, sucks.

 

[ailantian]

I suppose I have seen Dregun 's post in craigslist that day.
It is somewhere in Ohio or Detroit, I am not sure.

I did interested in that but I am not there for the present.
It is very possible for you to be in an embarrassing situation if you are totally un-interested in male but just for a friend when you posted such a thread in Man4Man in craigslist.

Good luck~

 

[Dregun]

I suppose I have seen Dregun 's post in craigslist that day.
It is somewhere in Ohio or Detroit, I am not sure.

I did interested in that but I am not there for the present.
It is very possible for you to be in an embarrassing situation if you are totally un-interested in male but just for a friend when you posted such a thread in Man4Man in craigslist.

Good luck~

I made sure to post it in the Platonic M4M section and not the regular M4M or Casual Encounters M4M section to avoid confusion <--although I probably would have had a response by now :frown1:

I talked with my Wife about his last night and she didn't have anything encouraging to say. Not that she doesn't want me to have a gay friend, shes all for that but that she hasn't found a decent gay guy in this area since she moved here from California 4 years ago. The only two gay guys she knew where in her words "bitches", one was really self absorbed and the other was just coming out of the closet and was a asshole. So shes 0-2 and I'm 0-0, but I might have been friends with the asshole; we probably would have had more in common then she did with him..but oh-well.

Also I'm a little concerned that the quantity of gay men in this area might be extremely low. My wife and I cruised through craigs lists M4M section and noticed a majority of the posts were from people passing through this area and not many locals listing. This could be good news of course as it might be that the majority of gay men in this area are more reserved and don't post want adds on craigslist but ...I don't know.

I'm going to try and broaden my search area and see if I can find some less then obvious clubs or sports teams that may be gay orientated or at the very least gay friendly. I would hate to resort going to the local adult store and asking if they know of any gay communities or clubs in the area; that would have to be my last resort.

I guess its weird that I would go through all this trouble to find a gay FRIEND as this is usually what people would go through to find a boyfriend/girlfriend type thing. Hell I could find 30-50 gay guys and none of them could end up being good friendship material. Who knows; I might be less scared of them as they are of me.

I'll keep everyone updated with any progress I make.


Dregun

 

[NCbear]

Who knows: I might be less scared of them than they are of me.

Slightly altered--and probably true. But what many of us gay men need are non-judgmental straight male friends who help our memories of "smear the queer" (and other equally anti-gay words/actions during our childhoods) recede into the misty distance.

Again, as I said in the Male-Male Intimacy thread, what's needed is less fear.

NCbear (who is glad he's becoming more liberated--he was originally encouraged to find ways to liberate himself during Dr. Maya Angelou's course "The Philosophy of Liberation in Literature," which he took during his undergrad days)

 

[BIGBULL29]

Go for it! But you do need to make it very clear that you are not interested sexually in men. You don't want to come across as a closeted "straight" man.

I would live in a gay district in a big city any day of the week for reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to pick up men for sex. Gay culture is simply fascinating to me, even though certain aspects of it are not appealing to me (love gay clubs in NYC, though). Generally, I feel more comfortable around gay men than I do with men who identify themselves as straight.

Vive la culture gay!:wink:

 

[B_The Greek Dude]

I had a gay friend in the past that never hit on me and was open about everything under the sun. He was a better friend and more loyal to me then any striaght friend I ever had, so thats why I'm looking for the same.

This is the way it should be; he shouldn't try to convert you to being gay, and you shouldn't try to convert him to being straight. It's definitely possible for men to be buddies with each other, and if they have a different sexuality at the end of the day, than so what? you can still relate to things like music, movies, cars, how annoying being in a relationship with a woman can be sometimes, etc etc.

The bad thing, is that he'll wonder why a straight man would be talking to a gay man, and it's very likely that he'll think you're closeted and afraid to admit it. Try to avoid getting drunk with him if you don't want him to make a pass at you.

 

[Dregun]

Well I finally got a couple of hits!! (Sounds like fishing)

I got one response from the Craigslist add, a 48 yr old bi widower; he sounds fairly interesting if everything feels right I'll invite him over to my house for a couple beers. So far just introductions, sounds like he is moving soon, hell I'll help him move if hes a decent guy and all.

The second one is from a LPSG member; I won't call him out so don't ask. He seems really down to earth and we seem to have a lot in common by reading a few of his posts so thats a big PLUS!!

All in all my search for a Gay/Bi friend started off a little "iffy" but seems to be progressing very well. As with any relationship friend or more it really depends on the chemestry.

By the way,

We had a gay club in town; not sure when it closed or how long it was open but after doing a lot of digging the outcome was very dissapointing. My wife and I were planning on going if one was open, we are both looking for gay friends just different types...very interesting.


Anyways I don't want to bore anyone further; if I have any major news I will post it but for now I'll just say progress is finally being made!

Dregun

 

[Tanvir]

.....Your view of the predatory gay male is quite bleak. My experience and what I've observed among friends is quite different than what you presented. I have a straight friend who loves hanging out with the gay/bi guys because he finds them funny, engaging and they love to party and dance....If all it takes is someone asking you if you want sex a couple of times and you feel compelled to have sex with them, well that says a bit more about what's going on with you than them.

Yes, I'm speaking from personal experience and from both POVs!

Where in my post did I single out a "predatory gay male"? Many gay men (like yourself?) like to think they're so much better-so much more sophisticated than straight guys, but it's bullshit. Gay men are out there trying to stick their dicks in something and don't much care how it happens.