Looking someone in the eyes..

[Qiro]

..in a public place, is it unapropreate or not?

I daily take the bus to my school and people in the bus are always checking other people out. Sometimes i see a beautiful girl and i want to kinda let her know that im into her. (not realy into her because you cant know em, but i think that you know what i mean) When she looks at me, is it rude to keep looking? In a way i think it is, but i cant explain realy.. What do you guys think?

 

[Unnamed]

our eyes can speak for us. cross eyed people may sound like they have an impediment or german accent, but humans eyes are figuratively loud. now, before you confuse this for poetry or medicial condition im not talking about synesthesia. throughout the animal kingdom, most animals don't have as much white to their eye. even our uncles, the monkeys & apes, can not tell exactly where we are looking because the white space circling our iris. humans can - ya know, for the most part. so, when your eyes are outlining another passenger's bodyparts, others can take note that there is an amateur porn amidst their ranks. the lady will take note too if you act suspicious when you're caught looking, and deviate your gaze.

now, if you respect the gal give her some eye contact. throw in a smile if that comes natural, but avoiding staring. she'll get the point: you're a creepy guy who should be reported to the law for looking up her dress, and thinking you'd get some.

but forget the law - take a risk.

 

[D_Millard Fillermore]

Always wondered about this too. I always look people in the eye when i'm talking to'm but sometimes that seems to make them uneasy or errr unfocused. Hope you get some more replies to this one.

 

[dad4you]

I think it is the length of time you look. A short look, then glance away may say that you like what you see, but not really interested in the other person. A longer look may indicate some sort of interest. A prolonged look may indicate an undisclosed intent and may be either good, or bad. One has to judge the return look , if any, for confirmation of interest or disinterest.

 

[MoneyForNothing]

It's called risk. You can do it and risk getting a negative response. You can not do it guarantee neither a positive or negative response.

 

[helgaleena]

A lot of what is considered 'rude' or not depends on the place you are living. Take some time to observe what the people around you do, and use that basic information to tailor your approach.

Obviously, if you spend many days dodging one another's glances back and forth with somebody, there is interest or at least curiosity. Your way forward from this will depend upon your own nature, how extroverted you are, or she is, and there may be something about to happen all on its own!

 

[Redwyvre]

I think you'll be able to tell what she is thinking when she looks your way. Next time you you think you've momentarily locked eyeballs flash your eyebrows and notice her next immediate expression. These might be the some of the possibilities: She's actually just staring off into space and doesn't notice you. She notices you, but isn't comfortable. Or perhaps she would like to get to know you better. Unless she gives you the last look, don't bother giving her any more attention. Oh yeah, some people are just natually really good at non-verbal communication. The rest of us need to practice, practice, practice.

 

[Qiro]

I think you'll be able to tell what she is thinking when she looks your way. Next time you you think you've momentarily locked eyeballs flash your eyebrows and notice her next immediate expression. These might be the some of the possibilities: She's actually just staring off into space and doesn't notice you. She notices you, but isn't comfortable. Or perhaps she would like to get to know you better. Unless she gives you the last look, don't bother giving her any more attention. Oh yeah, some people are just natually really good at non-verbal communication. The rest of us need to practice, practice, practice.

What do you mean by the last look? The thing is, when I am looking at someone and she is looking back, after a good second of eye contact I always feel like a drooling nerd from a movie. Because she cant tell if i was looking there for a second or the past 3 mins.

 

[DrCalvin]

it can depend on the person.

i personally have a problem looking anybody in the eyes, even when talking to them, except a select few people i really care about. its just uncomfortable to me, thats how my psyche's built

 

[D_Richard Lugie]

The best way to go anywhere is to just strike up a conversation, then you can really tell if they are interested or not.

 

[Qiro]

The thing is, for me there has to be some kind of event so it breaks the ice, after that i have no problem talking to people. But i cant start a conversation out of nothing.

 

[Snakebyte]

There's nothing wrong with looking into someones eyes. But only smile if she smiles.

 

[MoneyForNothing]

The thing is, for me there has to be some kind of event so it breaks the ice, after that i have no problem talking to people. But i cant start a conversation out of nothing.

So, what you are thinking of doing is playing look games to test interest? That is what I do. But not everyone plays even if interested.

 

[Redwyvre]

Okay, try doing something simple and thoughtful for them. Ask a thoughtful question.

 

[D_Millard Fillermore]

This whole thread (among many many others lol) is really making me realize just how socially awkward i am.

 

[please_suck_these]

If we're talking about a stranger, look her in the eyes for a short period of time and smile. Her response will let you know how to proceed. If we're talking someone you know, please look someone in the eyes when you talk to them. When someone can look me in the eyes it tells me they have confidence and maybe honesty.