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Looking to buy a vibrator for my girlfriend- suggestions?

BRM

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Hi everyone,
I'm looking at buying a vibrator for my girlfriend, and I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on any particularly good ones. We've talked about it a fair bit, and she's quite keen to get one but she's a bit too shy to just go out and get one herself. We mainly want it because sometimes distance can prevent us from having sex for a week or so, so she'd like something to use during those periods, but we would probably end up using it when we're together too. It will be her first sex toy, so we don't want anything huge, but it needs to quite realistic too. So does anyone have any suggesions? Or do you think it would be best to leave it to her to choose her own?
 

MickeyLee

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the vibrator market is insane. every thing from rabbits to vibrating rubber ducks.

what type of stimulation does she like?
is she more cliteral or vaginal with her orgasms?
does she like penetration with vibrators?
is she looking for gspot stimulation?

if you are looking for a peen simulator/realistic toy, your best bet is a dildo and a separate vibrator. is what i tell all the dudes shopping for sex toys for their lady friends. meself, not really a fan of penetration with a vibrator. i prefer to use em externally. is just my thing.

a good start would be cruising an adult site, checking out toys together. read the descriptions and reviews, check out what has some visual appeal. if ya find something that makes ya go hmmmmm post a link here. the ladies are pretty good with reviews. and seems to have heaps of toys :smile:
 
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My wife raves about her Hitachi Wand. It is not an insertible dildo but a vibrator that really gives her orgasms, both in strength and volume (+30 in a session) . The only downfalls are it size and the need to plug it in.
 

BRM

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She likes pretty much all different types of stimulation, how she's feeling at the time generally dictates what she likes there and then. She's not sure how much she'll like penetration with a vibrator because she's never used one before, but she wants to try it to see. At the moment she only has clitoral orgasms, but that's another reason for us to try it, to see if a vibrator helps her to orgasm vaginally. And she does love sex positions which stimulate her g-spot, so something that is able to stimulate it as well would be good.
 

The Dragon

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Show her a sex toy web site.
Tell her to pick out up to ten things she thinks she might like.
Choose one.
This way she gets what she wants and it's still a surprise.

Honestly it isn't what we women here like because we are all different.
What is important is what she likes so our input is kinda pointless.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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My wife raves about her Hitachi Wand. It is not an insertible dildo but a vibrator that really gives her orgasms, both in strength and volume (+30 in a session) . The only downfalls are it size and the need to plug it in.
And it can be a little noisy, but the level of vibration is powerful and fun to experiment with. :yup:

She likes pretty much all different types of stimulation, how she's feeling at the time generally dictates what she likes there and then. She's not sure how much she'll like penetration with a vibrator because she's never used one before, but she wants to try it to see. At the moment she only has clitoral orgasms, but that's another reason for us to try it, to see if a vibrator helps her to orgasm vaginally. And she does love sex positions which stimulate her g-spot, so something that is able to stimulate it as well would be good.
Sounds like you might need a few different models. Something like a bullet, which would be easy to use during intercourse. A larger vibe for when she also wants to experiment with insertion, but not so big she's intimidated. For her first vibrator, one not shaped like a dick might be best - like this.

Also, the site I linked to for the last two toys includes nice video reviews for most items. Send her a link and see if anything catches her eye. Good luck!
 

fire77

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Get her a real one ... :)
 
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My husband brought home the bullet first, it wasnt intimidating and it is still the most versatile toy in our toychest. Since then we have graduated to the Rabbit, dildo's of various sizes and now to the Hitachi Wand. I love it, but no way would that have been one to start with for me.

My suggestion is the bullet and go from there.

Renee
 

LaFemme

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I enjoy a Rabbit type - especially one with beads that spin in the barrel. Gripping really stimulates the g-spot and you can vary the clit stimulation as well. Guess I'm more of an internal sensation woman - heavy on the penetration and light on the clit.

(Sounds like I'm ordering a salad...)
 

B_JasonX87

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If it's her first one I would just get her something simple to start with and then take her back to the shop for a good one once she gets comfortable with it and has a better idea of what she is gonna want.
 

B_subgirrl

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Or do you think it would be best to leave it to her to choose her own?

This!!! Mostly because, as Dragon said, women are all different. We can each tell you what we like, but that doesn't really give you any insight into what you should buy for her. With that out of the way . . .


She likes pretty much all different types of stimulation, how she's feeling at the time generally dictates what she likes there and then. She's not sure how much she'll like penetration with a vibrator because she's never used one before, but she wants to try it to see. At the moment she only has clitoral orgasms, but that's another reason for us to try it, to see if a vibrator helps her to orgasm vaginally. And she does love sex positions which stimulate her g-spot, so something that is able to stimulate it as well would be good.

If she's into g spot stimulation, you should certainly look into getting her a toy specifically designed to stimulate g spots. There are plenty out there.

If you want to try a non-g spot toy, the rabbit is probably a good option. They seem to be extremely popular (personally, I hate them).

Unless you are buying a smallish toy, don't buy a super hard one. From what I've read on here and seen on sites that sell toys, hard toys aren't very popular.

As was suggested earlier, try exploring some online stores together. There are heaps of designs available if you're looking for smaller, softer, prettier or a combination of the three.


Edit: Keep in mind that the first toy she owns probably won't be one she'll love for life! It takes experimentation and time to figure out which toys work and which toys don't.
 

BRM

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I understand ever woman's different, but I was just hoping for a few general ideas so I understand what I'm looking at a little more.

Subgirrl- ultimately I'd prefer to let her choose her own, but I really doubt she'd buy one for herself at the moment. She's pretty shy like that, even though we've been talking about it for months and she's been telling me that she'd really like one. So I think it might be up to me to make that first move and start the ball rolling. I realise that her first sex toy won't always be her favourite, but if I can get her something fairly versatile she can learn what she likes most and go from there.
 

B_subgirrl

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Warning, I think some of this post repeats what I said in my earlier post.

Subgirrl- ultimately I'd prefer to let her choose her own, but I really doubt she'd buy one for herself at the moment. She's pretty shy like that, even though we've been talking about it for months and she's been telling me that she'd really like one. So I think it might be up to me to make that first move and start the ball rolling.

She's so shy that she'd even have trouble looking at online shops?!? Wow!


I realise that her first sex toy won't always be her favourite, but if I can get her something fairly versatile she can learn what she likes most and go from there.

Versatile is good for a first toy! Are you limited much by money? If you can afford to buy several cheapish ones, I would advise doing so. That way she can experiment with a few different sensations. If you can afford it, I would advise getting a clit toy, a g spot toy, and a traditional vaginal toy.

More details:

Clit toys

I have this one:

Berman pomona palm sized massager Femplay

and I love it. It doesn't look much like a vibrator, which could be a good thing if there's a chance she'll feel nervous about a vibe. This is definitely one of my favourite toys I've ever bought (and I'm more into vaginal).


Or you could go with something more bullet like. I have this one:

Ammunition of love Femplay

I enjoy it, but the vibrations are quite strong and it only has one setting. Might be a bit much for a newbie.


Or you could go with something silly and fun like this:

Luv touch lipstick vibe black Femplay


G spot toys

These have funny curved heads to target the g spot. I haven't got one to recommend because I don't do g spot stimulation, but here's the first page of g spot toys from the site I buy from, so you can get an idea of what you're looking for:

Female vibrators g spot Femplay


A more traditionally shaped vaginal toy

The ones I have are unlikely to be appealing. I tend to buy very solid ones that aren't usually very popular with most women (from what I've read on here). I also like my toys long.

Considering some of your other posts, I think your best bet would be to go with a softer material, and of course, not too big. Is there any reason you are looking specifically for something realistic? Looking specifically for realistic narrows your options down somewhat. If the realistic thing doesn't matter TOO much, this one looks like it has potential:

Monique sensual curves vibrator Femplay

It's jelly (soft material - tick), less than 7" (smallish - tick), and a pretty pink (not too scary and sex toy looking - tick).


If realistic matters, something like this might be more suitable:

Guy bartlett 7 inch realistic vibrating penis Femplay

Slim replika vibrating penis Femplay

As noted earlier, I can't give you any recommendations here. These are not the sort of toys I buy and I haven't tried any of these ones. They are just suggestions based on what you've told us so far.


If you are worried about cost, it might be smart to choose according to what you know about her - that she likes clitoral orgasms and g spot stimulation.

Another option if you're worried about cost is to go with the much-raved-about rabbit. As I said, I hate the things, but many women love them. A rabbit would tick the clitoral orgasm box, and give her an opportunity to experiment with vaginal play at the same time. I've also seen a toy or toy out there that are similar to rabbits, but have the curved head to stimulate the g spot.

Don't buy from the site I've been linking to. It's an Aussie site and will cost you a fortune in shipping. I used it because it's my favourite and I know my way around it well.

Good luck! Keep us updated. I want to know what you end up buying!
 

closetfreak

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Hitachi. Ive bought three or four for friends over the years and never had a dissatisfied response. Rabbit on the other hand is hit or miss.
 

rawbone8

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It's a great chance to talk with her and find out more about her pleasure and desires. Visiting a store where she can try the intensity on her hand is also pretty important. Ease of use, actual size, texture, offensive chemical smells, distracting noise volumes, and variable control settings are something you can't evaluate online. A good sex shop that is woman-focussed also usually gets you some resident sexpert staff advice.

It might be intimidating for some shyer types, but it's also a good bonding opportunity for the two of you. Plus you may not be able to wait until the drive home is over to start making out.
 

BRM

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Don't worry about repeating anything Subgirrl, I'm happy to read anything twice!

She's so shy that she'd even have trouble looking at online shops?!? Wow!

Yeah, it's hard to describe, but she can be very shy until she's introduced to something. So a lot of the time it's up to me to take the lead. She's keen to get a vibrator, but at the same time she's too shy to take that first step herself. I'm almost certain that once she has a sex toy of her own and enjoys it she'll be keen to look at more.

Versatile is good for a first toy! Are you limited much by money? If you can afford to buy several cheapish ones, I would advise doing so. That way she can experiment with a few different sensations. If you can afford it, I would advise getting a clit toy, a g spot toy, and a traditional vaginal toy.

Money isn't really a problem, but the thought of bringing home quite a few toys the first time worries me a little. Seeing as she's a bit shy it might shock her to suddenly have a heap of sex toys given to her all at once. That's why I'm looking for something versatile, so she can slowly get used to having one, work out what she likes most and get more then.

Now what I'm thinking of getting is a traditional vaginal toy, not a rabbit or anything too fancy that will scare her off. She's quite happy stimulating her clit with her fingers, but she doesn't particularly like penetration with fingers, hers or mine. So something similar to a penis is what we're looking at, because a) she wants to experiment with penetration more on her own and b) those of you that have read my other posts will know that she's quite tight, and that causes some problems in the bedroom for us, so hopefully if she likes penetration with a traditional toy that could help her to slowly get used to penetration more. And she can still use a traditional toy to stimulate her clit if she wants, can't she?

I don't want anything too focussed on stimulating her G spot, so will a traditional toy still be able to hit it? Realistic doesn't matter too much, I was meaning realistic in sensation more than looks, because the one thing she loves more than anything is having me inside her, so that's the feeling I'm wanting to give her, although I realise nothing will ever match the real thing.

Am I on the right track? And thanks for the link Subgirrl, I'm an Aussie too so I'll definately have a look at it!
 

MickeyLee

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maybe a quality silicone dildo. with a a secondary vibrating mitt style toy.

silicone is gonna be a softer surface toy with a more rigid core. more like what ya is swinging. if she's on the small side the materials used for a penetrative vibrator might be uncomfortable for her. will totally defeat your dilation plans. go for something smaller than your size.

the mitts are good for use with a partner, since you can slip the toy over your hand to touch her, just about anywhere. you're not limited to strictly penetration or looking like ya playing connect the dots with a plastic wang. :ha-ha:

me personally, the mitts work for my masturbation style. i am a humper and grinder, so meself or the boy can cup my vulva.. the all over vibration spreads stimulation through my whole pelvis resulting in pretty sweet orgasms. i guess more blood rushes to the happy bits, the legs of my clitoris get stimulated as well.

for true... it sounds like you want a realistic toy for her. if she's as say as you claim your well intended dick in a box might go unused when she's not with you.

i suggest site like BabeLand.com (use to be ToysInBabeLand.com... best name ever!!). Blowfish.com bonus, you can order a catalog, really amazing photography. looks more like an art mag. for pretty/powerful toys JimmyJane.com

both sites are very woman friendly. nothing that's gonna run ya lady friend off.

new favorite toy the only thing i would change is a softer material to coat the toy.. more getting carried away friendly.
option 2
 
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B_curiousme01

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I was going to say something similar to Mickey Lee. Also, I think Petite has some threads about toys that are really good.

I would like to say that slightly bigger is for sure much much much better. One of my fav dildos does not vibrate. It has a very thick head, slightly curved shaft and a rubber suction cup on the bottom! So many playtime options. And she can use something that vibrates as an added bonus. Two toys :)

And you might want to think of adding something sexy for her to wear. Don't forget new shoes, some costume jewlery, and lovely thigh highs! Have fun! :)))))))
 

MickeyLee

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lol, whenever you say mitt i keep thinking of oven mitts and imagine you having a kitchen fetish!

*fondles bunch of celery* someone is angling for a celery spanking, young lady *tries to look stern and dommish... does not do well*

I have a pair of locking leather mitts, but thats another topic

true. but a very interesting topic, Mr. Freak
 

paradisefalls69

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My wife raves about her Hitachi Wand. It is not an insertible dildo but a vibrator that really gives her orgasms, both in strength and volume (+30 in a session) . The only downfalls are it size and the need to plug it in.

This right here! Love my wand!
 

BRM

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I don't want to go for a big toy to start with- definitely nothing bigger than me. Because she has a few problems taking me without some pain a lot of people have suggested starting small and slowly working our way up will help that, so that's what I'm looking at.

Thanks for everyone who's said they love their Hitachi wand, but I certainly won't be getting one of those for her first sex toy. It's just too intimidating to start off with. But maybe one day.
 

paradisefalls69

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The wand is for outside stimulation only...not to go undid the vajayjay! That would hurt... but for clitoral stimulation its amazing! Trust me i would never go back to a regular dildo! Lol but since its her first one the vibrations of the wand might be too strong so maybe try a rabbit... some women put a towel over the head of the wand as well so the vibrations aren't so strong but i like it without any towel or article of clothing in between!
 

paradisefalls69

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Another thing she might be interested in doing is going to a passion party or pure romance party...that way a consultant can show her a variety of toys and she can order one she in interested in, in private with just the consultant
..she'll be able to feel the strength of the vibrations in her hands with the vibrators and figure out which one shed most be interested in..
 

BRM

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I do know that the wand is for outside only- so it's not really what we're looking for either, since she wants to experiment with penetration.

I don't know if we have those parties in Australia, I haven't heard of them. But I'll look into it.
 

jupiter19

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In general women prefer external stimulation when masturbating with a toy or with her hands. In general men are obsessed with penetration. The question is, is this toy for her enjoyment or for yours! The true test is, if it's a toy she REALLY enjoys she'll use it on her own when you're not around. ;)
 

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Yeah, it's hard to describe, but she can be very shy until she's introduced to something. So a lot of the time it's up to me to take the lead. She's keen to get a vibrator, but at the same time she's too shy to take that first step herself. I'm almost certain that once she has a sex toy of her own and enjoys it she'll be keen to look at more.

Understood. My first visit to an adult store was with a VERY shy friend. She only went in with me because she was scared to be left standing on a street in Sydney outside that kinda store by herself. We were only in there 2 minutes before she started begging me to go. So I grabbed what I'd been looking at at the time. Probably not the best first time experience for either of us :tongue:.


Money isn't really a problem, but the thought of bringing home quite a few toys the first time worries me a little. Seeing as she's a bit shy it might shock her to suddenly have a heap of sex toys given to her all at once. That's why I'm looking for something versatile, so she can slowly get used to having one, work out what she likes most and get more then.

Gotcha. I can see how that might be intimidating for her.

My thinking was along the lines of: if you have more than one type she can see what works for her and you probably won't have to go and buy another one for a while. After all, it would kinda suck if you bought her a toy and because it wasn't right for her she decided ALL toys wouldn't work for her.

You know her best. Trust your instincts. (I'd say ask her, but if she's that shy . . .).


Now what I'm thinking of getting is a traditional vaginal toy, not a rabbit or anything too fancy that will scare her off. She's quite happy stimulating her clit with her fingers, but she doesn't particularly like penetration with fingers, hers or mine. So something similar to a penis is what we're looking at, because a) she wants to experiment with penetration more on her own and b) those of you that have read my other posts will know that she's quite tight, and that causes some problems in the bedroom for us, so hopefully if she likes penetration with a traditional toy that could help her to slowly get used to penetration more. And she can still use a traditional toy to stimulate her clit if she wants, can't she?

Got it. You can certainly use a traditional toy for clit stimulation (it just means you can't have clit and vaginal at the same time).

A head shaped more like a penis is sensible. More pointy styles can hurt if you poke too hard with them (I've been known to do that for pleasure, but I suspect I'm a little more mad than your gf :tongue:).

Having read about your size issues in your other thread, make sure you check out the measurements given on online stores. Don't buy anything that doesn't have measurements stated. If you buy from Femplay, keep in mind that width measurements are for WIDTH, rather than circumference. For instance, the toy I buy is 3 CM in width, but 4 INCHES in circumference.


I don't want anything too focussed on stimulating her G spot, so will a traditional toy still be able to hit it?

My g spot and I are not friends, so I can't speak from experience, however from what I've gathered, they can.

I know vibes of the right length can hit my mid spot, without needing a special curve, so I see no reason why they wouldn't be able to do g spots as well.


Realistic doesn't matter too much, I was meaning realistic in sensation more than looks, because the one thing she loves more than anything is having me inside her, so that's the feeling I'm wanting to give her, although I realise nothing will ever match the real thing.

Ahh, okay. Seriously, vibrators do not feel realistic. They don't even feel a tiny bit realistic. Not even vaguely. Even the ones that are INTENDED to feel realistic, don't.

Considering everything above, it really does sound like something similar to the pink thing I linked to in my last post (the second pink thing, not the first) would be the way to go.


Am I on the right track?

Totally!!! You know so much about what she does and doesn't like, and you aren't just blindly going with the first thing suggested or the most popular suggestions. You're really stopping to think about what SHE would like. I'm quite envious of your gf right now :wink::tongue:.


And thanks for the link Subgirrl, I'm an Aussie too so I'll definately have a look at it!

I didn't even notice you were an Aussie :redface:.

In that case, use Femplay! They are a fantastic site. They're reasonably cheap compared to other sites - not the cheapest, but still cheap. They ship super fast, and their customer service is exceedingly good. One thing I love about that site - you can email them to ask them about particular toys. I would actually recommend that you email them to ask about the toy you decide on BEFORE you buy it. There is a link on each toy page. It says something like 'Ask Jennifer a question about this toy'. Ask if the particular toy you are buying is suitable for a first timer, and if not, if they can recommend any in particular. Maybe ask which toys are most popular with first time buyers.


I would like to say that slightly bigger is for sure much much much better. One of my fav dildos does not vibrate. It has a very thick head, slightly curved shaft and a rubber suction cup on the bottom! So many playtime options. And she can use something that vibrates as an added bonus. Two toys :)

The vibes/no vibes choice is certainly an individual thing. I know some women HATE toys that vibrate, but for me vibration is essential. If my first toy hadn't been a vibrating one I would have given up on toys forever. A non vibrating one is still useful if I'm playing with a partner, but if I'm playing alone, non vibrating does nothing at all for me.


I don't want to go for a big toy to start with- definitely nothing bigger than me.

What size are you? I was trying to find smaller than you when I was looking for toys to put in my last post, but not knowing your exact size makes it difficult.


Another thing she might be interested in doing is going to a passion party or pure romance party...that way a consultant can show her a variety of toys and she can order one she in interested in, in private with just the consultant
..she'll be able to feel the strength of the vibrations in her hands with the vibrators and figure out which one shed most be interested in..

The wand is for outside stimulation only...not to go undid the vajayjay! That would hurt... but for clitoral stimulation its amazing! Trust me i would never go back to a regular dildo! Lol but since its her first one the vibrations of the wand might be too strong so maybe try a rabbit... some women put a towel over the head of the wand as well so the vibrations aren't so strong but i like it without any towel or article of clothing in between!

Have you read anything the OP has said? He's said he doesn't want to buy a rabbit, and his gf is too shy to look at online stores. If she's too shy for that, she's certainly not going to be able to handle a toy party!


I don't know if we have those parties in Australia, I haven't heard of them. But I'll look into it.

We do. I know of people who have been to them. They're usually held in people's homes with just a small group of female friends. Rather like tupperware parties.


In general women prefer external stimulation when masturbating with a toy or with her hands. In general men are obsessed with penetration. The question is, is this toy for her enjoyment or for yours! The true test is, if it's a toy she REALLY enjoys she'll use it on her own when you're not around. ;)

I've known many women who use their toys for penetration. Personally, I would take penetration over clit stimulation every time (although I'll take both if I can get it!).