I think I can give insight from a woman who has had a child vaginally. I did not receive an episiotomy. They can actually make you tear more. I am also not loose and that is because I do kegels and I think genetics plays a part.
My friend was a virgin with her now ex husband. We had a 3some when we were 18. Her (now ex husband) said I was tighter to him than she was as a virgin. The body is what it is and you cant change that without surgery.
I don't think that having babies is the only cause of vaginal loosening either though. Coughing, smoking and larger than average babies do have some play in the size though.
But like said earlier the body is what it is and women are beautiful in every shape size and gender!