Lordy, Lordy look who's...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by EllieP, Aug 9, 2010.

  1. EllieP

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    When I woke up New Years morning it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is the year. Dammit! Yes I am turning the big 4-0 in a few weeks, and I have such conflicting thoughts about the whole thing. Yes, I've been finding grey hairs and it's really starting to piss me off. Everytime I think about it I want to go back to the gym, but I'm already there twice a day!

    The picture in my avatar was taken when I was 30, and I refuse to put a recent one. I like that one. And that's what I want to stay like, so I guess that's why I try so hard.

    I'm not looking for sympathy - I just need to vent. OK, maybe I'm looking for empathy. Cap is blind as a bat, of course. He can't see the grey hair or the wrinkles. Anyway, he's in love. But I want to stay nice looking so I guess I'm very vain.

    But I'm worried about getting an unhealthy outlook on life. I'm not the kind who can just let it go, so I'm sorry if I'm coming off sounding like a spoiled princess who wants time to stand still - but I guess that's just what I want!

    I have a 21-year-old daughter so there's no denying time marching on.

    Well, I really don't know what I'm thinking or what I really want, but for anyone facing the same thing or already did how did you handle it?
     
  2. Hintetsomaru

    Hintetsomaru Member

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    I'm young. 22 years old, and male. But I watched my grandmother and mother go through what you're going through. Your problem isn't you're vain, it's that you want to remain as gorgeous as you once were. Try looking at it from a different angle. Grey hair doesn't make you look ugly, it makes you look distinguished. Wrinkles can be managed with creams at the like, or they can be accepted. Don't overwork yourself, because that could be worse than not working out enough.

    I hope this helps, I really do.
     
  3. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I don't have any advice for you, I'll be following this thread avidly. I hit 30 this year and while I'm not so bothered about my looks, I can't help thinking about how I haven't DONE anything with my 30 years. I'm doing much the same thing as I was doing 9 or ten years ago - still a student (or a student again) and screwing the same guys.
     
  4. HiddenLacey

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    OMG!!!!!!! I feel the same way! EllieP I'm going to be *gasp* 30 very soon and I'm struggling with that. Just because I haven't gotten to do anything that I dreamed of doing. I have no kids, so that makes me kind of sad now too:frown1:

    OH well! I say tie one on:biggrin1: And I don't even drink:rolleyes:

    Just remember you're as beautiful as you feel, so BE GORGEOUS!
     
  5. Belly_Dancer

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    I turned 39 this year, so I won't be dealing with the big 4-0 until next year, but so far my age doesn't really bother me.

    I honestly don't know if I have any gray hair, because I have been colouring it for years -- I am getting ready to go back to my natural colour, though, so I will find out soon. Other women in my family greyed late so perhaps there's some hope it won't happen to me too soon.

    Even if it does, I can always go back to colouring. Another poster said grey looks distinguished, and while I think it does on some people, I honestly think most people would look better if they just coloured their hair. It's so easy to do, and not having gray hair takes years off your looks, if you ask me.

    As to wrinkles, I don't have many yet (and I suspect you don't either -- you probably notice them more than anyone else does)...I suppose the only thing to do about them is use the best products you can afford, and otherwise just accept that it is going to happen -- your face is going to age.

    I think what bothers me about approaching 40, if anything, is what I didn't accomplish in my life. I never had children, never actually finished writing a novel, never got rich...it's not too late to write the novel, and I don't really want kids, but there's still a pang at letting the whole idea of family go. At least you don't have to deal with that, having a 21-year-old daughter.

    I think maybe the best we can do is revise our ideas about how we should look. I have seen a number of women much older than me who I think are sexy and beautiful. If they can be, I can be, too.

    I proudly publish my age on this and other sites as a "fuck you" to anyone who thinks a 39-year-old can't be hot and attractive. I am also kind of flipping the bird to anyone who is ashamed of their age. Overall, I am proud I have made it this far in my life, pleased with the things I have accomplished, and I think, all things considered, that I look pretty damned good.

    If you haven't taken any pictures of yourself or your body lately, you may want to consider it. When I first started taking pics I found out I look better than I thought -- and if you post them here, other people can confirm your attractiveness as well.
     
  6. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    I have a couple of years to go until i'm 40 but i'm quite looking forward to it actually.I honestly believe i look better now than i ever did and expect the older i get the better i will look.It's called confidance in myself (that isnt to say you are not confidant)

    As for the grey hairs,well i'm not sure if i would notice them as i have bleached blonde hair and will continue to do for alot longer as well.

    Cap isnt as blind as a bat,he just sees the beauty you radiate,the beauty you are not seeing Ellie.....and we see it as well.


    I admit though if i did get upset with my looks i'd go and have botox etc etc though i hope i don't resort to that.

    Anyway,ladies don't have wrinkles,they have crinkles ;)
     
  7. D_Reuben Stallpisser

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    I sort of started falling apart at 40, I thought, until I realized I'm still in better shape that a lot of people my age. Just keep exercising normally, watch what you eat and don't let the little aches and pains that come as we get older bother you psychologically. I did for a long time, and I've finally decided the aches and pains just mean I'm still alive. I'm going to ignore them and keep living life to the fullest.
     
  8. Enid

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    I am going to be 40 in March of next year. I've started practicing telling people I'm already 40. You know, I don't actually mind it that much at all. (Maybe the compliments I get about looking quite a bit younger than I actually am soften the blow though.)

    I guess I handle it by keeping things in perspective. 30 seemed a bit deal to me at the time, but I have had 2 of the best relationships I have ever had in my 30s. One was/is Best Sex Ever. The other remains one of my bestest friends. I got the job I have now which I love dearly when I turned 30. I settled down financially (without a need to rely on family money) during my 30s. All that stuff. So if I couldn't see all these great things at the time I turned 30, who knows what kind of awesome things will happen in my 40s?

    :-D
     
    #8 Enid, Aug 9, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2010
  9. HiddenLacey

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    If my 30's go like yours I'm going to have a blast:biggrin1::wink:
     
  10. Enid

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    I am sure they will, toots! :smile:

    I also gained a ton of inner confidence in my 30s, that's something I forgot to mention before. Lost fear of rejection. Like, really lost it for true. Have absolutely no fear in that regard now. There's some other personal fears I'm currently working on, maybe my 40s will be when I finally conquer those. :biggrin1:

    And Ellie -- I think grey hair is sexy!
     
  11. helgaleena

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    When I turned forty I was having so many upheavals in my life I had no time to think about it. But fifty was something. It was for one of my men too.

    If you are a natural blond, your hair is not going to go gray, it's going to get blonder! As for jowls, wrinkles, and whiskers in strange places, those happen to both sexes. Hairlines also change. I got dreads because my long hair seemed sparse to me; it was a nice distraction to spend time coaxing it to half length and double thickness.

    Staying fit and having a good love life help very much to accept your body at whatever stage it has reached.
     
  12. nicenycdick

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    I find women in their 40's particularly attractive...
     
  13. EllieP

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    You guys are great! I really don't have any advice for those of you turning 30. That didn't really bother me at all. The very night I turned 30 I got carded at the club, so it made my night!

    But this 40 thing has got me thrown for a loop! I guess it means I have to grow up, dammit! My husband calls me a kid because he's 46. The asshole looks younger than me! Now that really pisses me off because he goes to the gym like 3 or 4 times a week. Life is not fair!

    I know I'll survive, but now I know why women lie about their age!
     
  14. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    Ellie,i only go to the gym to ogle the guys,i VERY rarely use the cross trainer etc and i look younger than 37,ask the guys who saw me on cam (dressed i might add :p).....

    You look great as you are and revel in the fact that your daughter has ONE SEXY MAMA!!

    I know i will do when i hit the big 4-0 AND have a mahooooosive party!
     
  15. Shawn8

    Shawn8 New Member

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    It's just a number. Repeat it like (a) mantra. :biggrin1:
    Enjoy your time on the planet and stop worrying about a silly thing like age.

    S8
     
  16. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    This makes me feel much less alone :smile:


    And this gives me a whole lot of hope for the future. You have a great attitude Enid and you've made me realise that 30 has great potential!


    I still get asked for ID now so I'm guessing that I don't look my age. I'm actually looking forward to the day I DON'T get asked for ID!

    Ellie, I really think you have nothing to worry about in the looks department. If you looked that great at 30, I have a sneaking suspicion that you look fantastic at 40 as well (if not quite the same).
     
  17. Daisy

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    I freaked out at 30 and then when I turned 40 I would have given anything to be 30. I loved my 30's esp. my sex drive! I would love to say that being 40 is no big deal but I do struggle with it sometimes. I have been told I look younger and I certainly feel younger but some signs of aging are creeping in. My eyes finally started going bad this year and I got glasses. I see some elasticity going south in some areas. I have a hard time accepting that I'm getting old and I do wish I could always look like I did when I was 30. OH WELL...the alternative is dying, so I guess we should all just be glad we're getting older. It is what it is!
     
  18. Daisy

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    Oh and by the way..as far as guys are concerned 40 is NOT an issue. I have had plenty of attention from younger guys, and you have the whole "Cougar" thing going on too! I'm not worried about being attractive to others at this age, I'm way more concerned with how I feel about myself. We are our own worst enemies.
     
  19. D_Barbi_Dahl

    D_Barbi_Dahl Account Disabled

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    I'm 39. I loved being 35. I'm having more sex this year than I've had since I was 25 single, and not a mom. I'm noticing signs of aging...its not fun. I try to have a positive attitude about it. People tell me that I don't look almost 40. My sex drive is higher now than ever and younger guys have trouble keeping up with me. What does this all mean? Not sure but I'm having a blast. I think though that signs of aging may be easier to accept when you are with someone who loves you...no matter what. I don't have that. Not close to having it. Hopefully I will have it before more aging signs move in on me.
     
  20. L_Lynn

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    I turned 40 this past May. I have mixed feelings about it all. On the one hand, sex is probably the best ever- I have the drive of a teenage boy and the confidence to try just about anything! On the other hand, I am well aware I am "peri-menopausal" and I am afraid of drying up. It feels like the last hurrah, like drinking champagne as the ship sinks.

    Physically, I notice little changes. My skin is different, less elastic, though still mostly without wrinkles. My hair seems drier, thinner, and yet curlier for whatever reason. My eyebrows seem to be migrating south, away from the cold mountainous region above my eyes to the balmy shore of my lipline like retired New Yorkers moving to Florida. Some even travel all the way down to the Keys! And shortly before my birthday I noticed I was having to hold things further away to read them. But what makes me the craziest is my monthly cycle is all over the place.

    Mentally, it's wondering where the time went and what did I use it to do and where do I go from here. It feels like a very transitional time when I want to cocoon and be with my own thoughts for awhile. I lament the things I missed and look forward to the new things opening in my life. It's too late (or getting close to too late) for some things and the road is just starting for others. It's frightening and exhilarating all at once.

    Good luck with your journey, Ellie.
     
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