When I woke up New Years morning it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is the year. Dammit! Yes I am turning the big 4-0 in a few weeks, and I have such conflicting thoughts about the whole thing. Yes, I've been finding grey hairs and it's really starting to piss me off. Everytime I think about it I want to go back to the gym, but I'm already there twice a day! The picture in my avatar was taken when I was 30, and I refuse to put a recent one. I like that one. And that's what I want to stay like, so I guess that's why I try so hard. I'm not looking for sympathy - I just need to vent. OK, maybe I'm looking for empathy. Cap is blind as a bat, of course. He can't see the grey hair or the wrinkles. Anyway, he's in love. But I want to stay nice looking so I guess I'm very vain. But I'm worried about getting an unhealthy outlook on life. I'm not the kind who can just let it go, so I'm sorry if I'm coming off sounding like a spoiled princess who wants time to stand still - but I guess that's just what I want! I have a 21-year-old daughter so there's no denying time marching on. Well, I really don't know what I'm thinking or what I really want, but for anyone facing the same thing or already did how did you handle it?