Losing a friendship because of jealousy

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by citygirl, Jul 8, 2005.

  1. citygirl

    citygirl Member

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    I recently lost a very close female friend of many years because she came onto my fiancee and wouldn't stop after I confronted her. It started after she accidentally walked in on us once during sex; apparently she wanted to see for herself what it would be like to be with a big dick (her boyfriend is avg size). My fiancee told me about her advances and I trust him completely when he says nothing happened. I never thought she would be one to do something like that, to break the cardinal rule of friendships: boy/girlfriends are off limits!

    Among close friends we talk about everything, but I never go into detail about my sex life and certainly never bragged about how great it is. Maybe the after-sex glow / flushed face is hard to hide, and occasionally the walking impediment after a LONG (pun intended) night :D

    Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest. I can't stop thinking about it and wondering if I did something wrong to lose a friendship.
     
  2. DC_DEEP

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    My condolences on losing a friend. It sounds like you did everything right. If she has a chance to cool off, and wants to talk about it, you should. If she continues to pretend that YOU did something wrong, perhaps you are better off in the long run without her. She had no business trying to do your fiancee, unless you personally invited her to join the two of you.
     
  3. naughty

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    City,

    Dear ,I have seen your pictures and you are a stunning young lady. Some of the other ladies here can definitely relate. While I was reading your post it made me more and more angry. I dont know why anyone would sacrifice their friendship to be so bold as to walk in unapologetically on a woman she called a friend. Her behavior belies that word. I would cool it on her for a while. She need s to apologize to you not the other way around. Coming onto your boyfriend was unconscienable. No one needs friends like that .I am sorry it has given you anguish.


    Naughty
     
  4. BruceSter

    BruceSter New Member

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    That sounds like a serious case of jealousy you're encountering there - just let me ask you, did you or your boyfriend leak anything about his size to her - any kind of a hint, unwanted maybe? I know the post-orgasmic details about the women you describe here (I have to say, women surely look sexy and appetizing when they have that glow about them), and I wouldn't blame her for being curious for the reasons of these (I know my lady friend has been asked about some changes in her appearance too).

    Still, she exceeded the limits by trying to get a "sample" of your boyfriend. If you want my advice - forget about her, you'll find better girlfriends than her.

    Bruce
     
  5. Blood rose

    Blood rose New Member

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    Sit down with her, and tell her that your soon to be husband said "you tried to come on to him". Tell her to grow up, and you don't want to be friends with her if she acts like that again.
     
  6. Kat

    Kat Member

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    I'm sorry to hear that you lost a close personal friend due to this. Although, I must admit, looking back on it I wonder how close a friend she really was. My best friend knows pretty much everything about me and is well aware of my husbands size (we've talked about it over the years) and has actually seen a home video of us making love (the only person who has ever seen it). Anyway, she has never had anyone even close to his size and has asked questions out of curiosity. However, she has never, ever made any inference that she wanted to "try out" my husband. Maybe you can work this out with the friend in question, but if she didn't get the hint the first time, I would think you should move on.

    kat
     
  7. citygirl

    citygirl Member

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    No, I never dropped any hints of his size to her or anyone else at all. Indirectly she knows since its hard to hide that fact (clothes, at the beach, etc)
     
  8. citygirl

    citygirl Member

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    Thanks everyone for your consolation and advice! I do feel much better.

    It's just hard to accept the loss of a friend over something like this, I've known
    her for many years and we have been roommates since college. Now that I think about it she has always been a little on the jealous side and when I moved in with my fiancee 2 months ago it seems to have gotten worse. I can't quite pinpoint it,
    maybe it bothers her that I will be tying the knot before she does.

    As far as I can tell her and her boyfriend have a decent sex life; I did get the
    feeling she was envious of mine because I'm multi-orgasmic and we have sex almost every day.
     
  9. citygirl

    citygirl Member

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    [post=327603]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]
    My condolences on losing a friend. It sounds like you did everything right. If she has a chance to cool off, and wants to talk about it, you should. If she continues to pretend that YOU did something wrong, perhaps you are better off in the long run without her. She had no business trying to do your fiancee, unless you personally invited her to join the two of you.
    [post=327608]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]


    Hi DC Deep,

    No, 3-somes were never in the picture. She joked about it a few times but that is not something I'm interested in.
     
  10. madame_zora

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    Citygirl, I think that's wise on your part. It sounds like she has some one-upmanship issues with you and you'd likely be inviting trouble into your bedroom if you let her in. There are circumstances where her behavior would have been okay (like if you two had talked about it before and you'd told her you didn't mind) but if she's willing to go behind your back to get to your man, she sounds like nothing but trouble. I'm sorry you lost a friend over this, but I'm really sorry she wasn't a better friend to you than that in the first place.
     
  11. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    I myself havent lost any friends over dick size because I'm not interested in that!

    However. One of my gf's mates did 'come on' to me very explicitly going on and on about my 'big cock'. That was because my gf told her friend/s (probably a group of them but only one hounded me) either about my size or somethin, that led her to believe I had somethin goin on downstairs. She just kept mithering me until I told my gf 'What have you said to [this girl] I told you not to say anythin.'

    So anyway those two aren't friends which is for the best really because the girl (one who was harassing me) is somewhat of a slut and also only just turned 15 (!!) she was 14 when she was textin me all the crap like 'I can see why [your gf] loves you' the implication being that she loves me because I have a big cock... o,O

    Anyway citygirl maybe your friend who did that to you does have some jealousy issues, maybe the friend of my gf does...you handled it right though. Just talk to her and explain how you feel about what she did and that it's not acceptable. If you want to.
     
  12. steve319

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    It sounds more and more like jealousy is the key term here, citygirl. Considering that her behavior has worsened since you moved out from the place you shared with her to live with him tells me that she may be jealous of him and his relationship with you. She may attempting (awkwardly) to drive a wedge between you guys. (Have you witnessed her flirting?)

    But it doesn't really matter; whatever her motives, she's betrayed your trust and shown a real lack of respect for your relationship (repeatedly). In my opinion, you're probably better off without her and her damaged psyche.

    Truly sorry for your loss. Sounds like you guys have been friends for awhile.
     
  13. jonb

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    This is the difference between men and women. Men aren't all that jealous. Oh, we might get in a fight over it, but then we'll be friends again. Women, OTOH, are just plain spiteful over men.

    But that's just my experience.
     
  14. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    Citygirl, you didn't lose a friend, you lost an acquaintance. A true friend would not do what this female did.
     
  15. citygirl

    citygirl Member

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    jonb,
    You are right, men and women are so different. My guy has gotten into physical fights (punching, hitting, etc) with some of his best friends, usually over stupid things. But after they're done they're back to being best friends. On the other hand women will hold grudges for a LONG time, whether its to a male or female (its happened to me and I do it to others too) And women NEVER forget anything you said or did that hurt them, no matter how much time has passed. This is frustrating sometimes because guys don't remember!!
     
  16. citygirl

    citygirl Member

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    You guys and gals have been great, this support group gives better advice than my therapist! (my close girlfriends)

    I'm really trying to stop dwelling on this because its driving me crazy. However just some last thoughts - looking back over the past year, I didn't have as much free time to spend with her because I was involved with my man and work got really busy. I may have inadvertently put my friendship with her on the back burner, but then my friendship with the other 2 girls in our little circle has not deteriorated. In fact talking with them they felt distant from her too. And I don't really remember what was said the last time I saw her, it was a really heated argument that resulted in some very nasty things being said.

    Wow, sometimes I wish I were a guy. Women will dissect every detail and then do it again later! :wacko:
     
  17. jonb

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    As the old poem goes:

    Some say the world will end in fire,
    Some say in ice.
    From what I’ve tasted of desire
    I hold with those who favor fire.
    But if it had to perish twice,
    I think I know enough of hate
    To know that for destruction ice
    Is also great
    And would suffice.
     
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