Losing a pet

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by jcjb2002, Sep 27, 2007.

  1. jcjb2002

    jcjb2002 Member

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    I hate to be a downer.. but I though I would feel better posting something on here and discussing it with you. Please excuse me if it in inappropriate..

    My partner wanted a tan rat terrier for his birthday about 3 years ago, so we searched and searched and found one.. a little female to give him. we name her Angel Marie...

    About 6 months ago she began having intestinal trouble. She had been to the vet for all checkups prior and such, and was an indoor baby.. slept with us every night. I wasnt close to her, as he was.. but when she got ill - she turned to me and we became very close. The Vet treated her for worms, as it turned out somehow she contracted them from being on an outdoor romp. We treated them and thought they were gone.. then she (as I mentioned) became ill about 6 months ago. So back to the vet who said she had a return of the worms and that they had not gotten them completely out of her system. So we treated her and they gave her some fluid cause she was a little dehydrated. Then she began having constant diahrrea.. and was uncomfortable. Bless her heart she tried and was always showing us love still. We ultimately had her X-Ray and (I am told, but not sure I believe) that she had a genetic problem with her intestine. She was given steroids (prednisone) and an antibacterial, cause an infection had resulted from the constant battle with the parasite. about 2 weeks ago she began wasting away, and wouldnt eat. The vet said she could have surgery to remove all the intestine that was affected, but that with the steroids and medication plus a special diet.. she should make it. She continued to have the diahrrea and lost some weight (she was tiny to begin with) and began to stop eating but the steroids made her drink lots of water. We began spoon feeding her a combo of protein, vitamins and fortiflora with pedialyte. she would eat if we did that. She had a little dance she would do when she ate and got into bed. I woke up Sunday and she was very ill.. I would call her name and she would raise her head and look at me. I told my partner to take her to the emergency vet and he said no, that there wasnt anything they could do for her, and that we would see how she was Monday. Monday came and she was better.. she would walk to the water dish but was wobbly from being weak. That night she worsened, and laid her head in his lap, didnt want to be away form us.. and we sat up till 5 am with her. We fell asleep going to the doctor at 10 am but when I awoke at 9 am she was gone. Had I known I would have held her all night. It was then that my partner told me the Vet had explained to him she may not survive but it was possible with the treatments that she might pull through. We didnt want to subject her to the surgery cause she may not have pulled through, and after such a hard surgery as that - even humans have rough times and a lot of pain. From what I know they dont give animals pain meds. My heart broke. I would have had the surgery for her in an attempt to save her, but I was given hope in the meds. I am devastated, crying and so sad. We buried her outside our bedroom window, her grave marker will be placed this next week.

    I am so hurt by many of the things that we went through. The vet not catching the worms return.. her suffering, and the loss of a dear baby.

    Being Gay I havent chosen to have any children with a surrogate, and my animals are the focus of my life. How do I get through this...

    last night I was presented with a baby rat terrier, 9 weeks old and precious as can be. I woke up this morning and my first thought was my Angel wasnt at my feet any longer.. and I still hurt deeply...

    Thanks for letting me express my feelings, I dont mean to be a downer.. but thought someone may be going through the same thing.. maybe went though it.. and can relate...

    Thanks for your time.. I appreciate it.
     
  2. SpoiledPrincess

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    Our 16 year old dog died last year, I know what you're feeling and I hope your new dog helps your grief.
     
  3. Not_Punny

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    Wow, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Your angel is in your heart and will always be there.
     
  4. SassySpy

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    I am SO sorry. And I DO know exactly how you feel- reading your post I cried and cried cos I know how it hurts to watch our beloved pets go through so much, and yet still give us their best. My condolences to you and your partner, I hope your new puppy gives you many years of happiness.
    There are a multitude of problems that can develop with some breeds, so be sure you are aware of what to watch for.
    and your beloved Angel will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge, no longer in pain or misery. ((hugs))
     
  5. Osiris

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    You have my heartfelt sympathy.

    I lost my favorite cat, Ed, last year. He got in a fight with a cat or raccoon and contracted feline AIDS. For a while we kept him medicated and he was OK, but miss a med and he was a completely different cat. Dementia, uncontrolable bowels, you name it.

    I made the hard call to put him to sleep and the vet agreed his quality of life had deteriorated so bad, that the only humane thing to do was put him to sleep.

    I haven't wanted another pet since I still miss Ed. I'm considering a dog for the kids in the spring, but my little guy sometimes says "I miss Ed Kitty." I know how he feels.
     
  6. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I went through something similar several years ago, with our dog Trixie. She was a poodle/lhasa apso mix. I know it sounds weird, but she was cute as hell. We had adopted her, and only had her a couple years... I missed her for months and months afterward.
     
  7. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Sorry for your (and your partner's) loss, jcjb. Now after a week or so go out and get another pet. It's the best therapy for you guys and some little puppy out there will love you for it.
     
  8. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    You have my deepest sympathy. Losing a beloved pet is really heartbreaking.
     
  9. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you will see her again in the afterlife.
     
  10. prepstudinsc

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    Sorry to hear about your loss. I had to put my former dog to sleep because she went into kidney failure. It was heart breaking to see her suffer. My vet, who had taken care of her for her whole life, said that I should be concerned for quality of life, not quantity, but when I made the decision, the vet, the vet tech and I all were in tears. I got to hold Abby as she got the injection. I had her cremated and she is in an urn in my living room along with her favorite toy and her collar.

    Every once in a while I still get teary eyed thinking about her. I now have a new dog, but I was not ready to get another for about 6 months. I needed time to grieve.

    Losing a pet is just like losing a family member. It is not easy to get over.
     
  11. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I can feel the emotion in your post. I am crying, loosing a pet is like loosing family. Animals love unconditionally. I am sorry you have lost Angel Marie. I'm sure in time when the hurt has worn down a bit you will find a new animal to love. Adopt one that needs a forever home. I'm thinking about you and your partner in this rough time.
     
  12. Kevbo

    Kevbo Member

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    It's tough when the little fuzzies go... all you can do is hope you've given them the best life they could have considering all circumstances. If you find yourself consumed with regret over anything, be fair to yourself and take the time to (mentally?) list all the fun and joy and caring you gave Angel Marie. The positives will certainly far outweigh the negatives.

    The other thing to do in difficult times is to write or somehow express your feelings. You've done that with your post but you may need to do it more. Write a poem or an essay. You don't need to show it to anyone. When my cats died (separately), I wrote a little poem/testament to each one and buried it with each one. Helped a lot. And if someone finds the grave X years from now, they might have some clue why this little fuzzy mattered.

    Kevin
     
  13. cuteguy0135

    cuteguy0135 New Member

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    My condolences, even though I don't have a pet. Death is a difficult topic to deal with especially when you've been very connected and shared your life with your pet with very pleasant memories (before your terrier got sick). I hope you feel better soon and enjoy your new pet.
     
  14. simcha

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    So sorry for your loss. That's terrible. I hope you feel better soon.
     
  15. lafever

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    My heart breaks reading your story, it never ceases to amaze me how close we can get to a family pet, it`s your dogs undying love that sticks with you.

    God bless your grieving heart.

    lafever
     
  16. Shiningdog

    Shiningdog New Member

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    It should be assumed that all pups are born with worms. Some worms (round worms) are passed on from the pregnant female to the unborn pups. You did not say what type of worms Angel Marie had, but there are Round Worms, Whip Worms, two variety of Tape Worms, etc. When you take your pup in to your vet at 6 - 8 weeks of age for its initial examination, the pup should be dewormed with Strongid-T(or another effective dewormer), then returned 10-14 days later for reworming. Watch the dogs' stool throughout its life. Look for diarrhea, visible worms in the stool, and sometimes Tape Worms can be seen that look like rice sticking out of its rectum or in its stool. The Tapes are the least dangerous types of worms, but still need immediate attention. Take your dog in to your vet every year, at a minimum, for a complete exam, for deworming, and for vaccinations. Don't just let the vet vaccinate the dog, have the temp taken, look in the ears and mouth for jaundice, look at the eyes, inspect the teeth, listen to the heart, etc. If your vet is not automatically doing these things, without having to ask for it, then fire that person and find another vet. Don't engage in a lot of social talk, let the vet use that time to work on your dog. And have annual blood test for heart worms taken. Heart worms will also kill your dog! The dogs get these from mosquito bites and there's a phenomena called microfilaria, which is the beginning of heartworms that circulate through the blood and wind up engorged in the heart. It sounds like you did everything you could do to help your dog once she contracted the worms, but I'm still unsure what type worms she had. There are some dewormers that are very low in toxicity that kill multiple types of worms, for example Panacur, which kills Round and Whip Worms, and one variety of Tapes. There is another Tapeworm dewormer that is low in toxicity that virtually dissolves the tapes. Good luck with your new pup, you'll do well, and I'm sure you and your partner did everything you could do with Angel Marie. I'm sending you something by separate post in Angel Marie's memory. If you have any questions of a general nature, please ping me. God Bless.
     
  17. Shiningdog

    Shiningdog New Member

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    "ANGEL MARIE AND THE RAINBOW BRIDGE"

    There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called The Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of The Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys, all covered with lush green grass. When a beloved pet dies, it goes to this place. There is always food, water and warm spring weather. The old are made young, the ill are made well, and the maimed are made whole. They play all day with each other. There is only one thing missing: They are not with their special family who loved them here on earth.

    So, each day they run and play until the day when one of them suddenly stops playing and looks up. The nose twitches. The ears perk up. The eyes are staring. Then one suddenly jumps from the group! You have been spotted and when you and your special friend meet, you take her in your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again and again, and you look once more into the loving eyes of your trusting pet! Then you cross The Rainbow Bridge together, never to be separated again.

    God bless you, your partner, and Angel Marie.
     
  18. alex8.5

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    My deepest condolences, to all of have had a beloved pet die. I have had to put my Whiskers down three years ago, she was my angel on earth. The pain eases but the memories remain, Whiskers and I were together 16 years. I give thanks everyday that I still have her brother Alex to share my life and love with. He is now 18, very old for a cat, but still acts likes a kitten.
     
  19. JustAsking

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    I am so sorry to hear about your little Angel Marie. I know how terriers like to sleep under the covers with you, and that all by itself is wonderfully endearing. I think it creates a special kind of bond between you and your dog.

    I think I can understand some of your thoughts of regret regarding the vet missing the worms, and the choices you made around the surgery. Its hard enough to lose a dear buddy like this, but it makes it especially hard when you have to carry doubts about whether you or the vet made the right choices or not.

    Having gone through a similar experiences like this, I can only say that it is impossible to avoid those feelings of doubt and regret. After your pet dies, you are so focused on the event and the feelings that you cannot possibly avoid thinking about what might have happened if you had done something differently.

    The result of all this is that you have endure guilt on top of your sorrow. Well, the only thing I can say is that unless we ourselves are vets, we are ill prepared to make these kind of life and death decisions perfectly every time. The only thing you can do is to find a vet with a good reputation, listen carefully, and do the best you can to make decisions. Since this is the best you can do, having done it, you have already done everything you can. After that, you have to just make the best of it.

    So unless you were deliberately callous, purposely irresponsible or neglectful, you have to convince yourself that you fought the good fight for Angel Marie and gave her all the love that she could expect possibly need when she was healthy and when she was sick.

    God bless you and Angel Marie
     
  20. Dave NoCal

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    I' really sorry for the loss of your baby. It's happened to me before too. Eight years later I still miss my CoCo.
    We nearly lost one of ours two weekends ago. He hurt his back so we took him to the emergency clinic. They gave him pain medication, a muscle relaxant, and an anti-infflamatory called Deramaxx.
    He got better over a couple of days then started having diarhhea. We took him to the clinic and they gave him some medicine but he got worse over night with bloody diarhhea and vomiting. I drove down the mountain with him at 2AM to the clinic, AGAIN. I picked him up at 7:30 AM and rushed him to his regular vet. He was so sick he couldn't even acknowledge my presence. The fuckheads at the emergency clinic didn't want to deal with the probable fact that the medicine they gave him had made him ill and tried to tell me maybe it was his liver or his pancreas.
    There was no one at our regular vet's office except a tech and she swung into action. It was like watching one of those ER shows on Discovery Health. IV fluids, blood tests for liver damage, x-rays.
    It turned out his liver, pancreas, kidneys, etc... are all fine. They got him rehydrated, gave him injections to stop the vomiting and actually put a tube into his stomact to give him some medicine that they described as coating the stomach and intestine. It was a Saturday and they couldn't keep him over the weekend and he wasn't going back to the emergency clinic again so I brought him home and kept giving him injections to keep the nausea down.
    By the next day, the diarhhea had stopped he he began to recover. Now he seems to be absolutely fine but we are still shaken by the close call and the incompetence of the emergency clinic vet.
    Here is our adorable brat.
     

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