Losing Virginity

[atomix_]

Hey everyone!

I'm almost a 22-year-old man and still a virgin. I feel strange knowing that I'm still a virgin at such an "old" age, especially knowing that so many other college students are out getting laid. I don't know if it's something I should cherish so much and let it go, especially because I am curious about losing it, but don't know if I'll end up regretting my choice not to wait until I have a boyfriend to give it to.

Has anyone else had this problem? I'm sure it's not that big of a deal, and it could just be my insecurity showing lol. What age did most of you guys lose your v-card? Did you end up regretting it?

Just looking for some advice. Thanks

 

[1NiceRod]

Lost my virginity long before going to college. No, I did not regret it.

 

[stevej6814]

You would probably get more salient advice if you posted your question in the "Ask a Gay Man" or "Ask a Bisexual Man" threads. I don't think a straight man is qualified to comment being that his experience and motives are likely to be significantly different from yours given the difference in sexual preference. It might be helpful to others if you stated your reasons for chastity. That said, good luck getting advice and answers to your questions.

 

[jtheimpaler]

I was an early starter, earlier than most. Never regretted it.

 

[mushroomcap]

You would probably get more salient advice if you posted your question in the "Ask a Gay Man" or "Ask a Bisexual Man" threads. I don't think a straight man is qualified to comment being that his experience and motives are likely to be significantly different from yours given the difference in sexual preference. It might be helpful to others if you stated your reasons for chastity. That said, good luck getting advice and answers to your questions.

I agree. As a mostly straight bisexual man, I’m not even sure how you would define “losing your virginity “. For me, it’s the first time for intercourse with a woman which was when I was a couple of years older than you. However, I gave my first bj at a much younger age. Does that qualify as losing virginity in regard to gay sex?

 

[Fun4All]

I never viewed my virginity as something I wanted to keep.

Sex is fun so I wanted to start as soon as I could.

 

[notthatguy]

When you are ready, you will lose it.

You are under no pressure.

I lost it way too young.

 

[chrisrobin]

By 22 I was a very old hand at the game with years of experience. Once it's gone its gone and after that you dont have to worry about it possibly being painful

 

[JohnnyDanger610]

It took me longer to loose mine, and I still feel like I waited way too long.

If you’re curious or horny, I say go for it. No single act determines your identity, and if you go into it looking to have fun and maybe learn something about what you like and what you don’t, it’s a win. Curb your expectations: it’s probably not going to be the best sex you ever have, hopefully you get better and meet many skilled lovers in your lifetime.

 

[theplayerking]

Hey everyone!

I'm almost a 22-year-old man and still a virgin. I feel strange knowing that I'm still a virgin at such an "old" age, especially knowing that so many other college students are out getting laid. I don't know if it's something I should cherish so much and let it go, especially because I am curious about losing it, but don't know if I'll end up regretting my choice not to wait until I have a boyfriend to give it to.

Has anyone else had this problem? I'm sure it's not that big of a deal, and it could just be my insecurity showing lol. What age did most of you guys lose your v-card? Did you end up regretting it?

Just looking for some advice. Thanks

I don’t regret losing it but I wish I had a better partner. It was my straight roommate my freshman year in college. Neither of us knew what we were doing. We were just bored and horny in the dorm. It was a hot scenario, but not the best for my first time sucking dick and getting fucked.

You don’t have to wait for a boyfriend, but you should find a gay guy (preferably with experience) that you’re attracted to.

 

[stevej6814]

I agree. As a mostly straight bisexual man, I’m not even sure how you would define “losing your virginity “. For me, it’s the first time for intercourse with a woman which was when I was a couple of years older than you. However, I gave my first bj at a much younger age. Does that qualify as losing virginity in regard to gay sex?

I have no idea but it's a good question and the reason I suggested the OP post elsewhere. In addition to explaining why he has been chaste, it would also help for him to define what he believes constitutes losing his virginity in the context of a homosexual relationship.

I lost my virginity at age 14. I did not regret it, and have no idea why a man would regret it, though I suppose rational reasons based on experience exist. But one person's regret, or lack thereof, no matter the reason, is not necessarily relevant to another person -- and I particularly cannot speak to the dynamic in a homosexual interaction.

The best one can do is to be guided by one's individual sense of right and wrong and not by the collective opinions of others, especially others who are strangers. One will ultimately make a mistake or achieve success; either way, it is empowering to learn from one's own action rather than the actions of others.

 

[Cowboy1990]

Hey everyone!

I'm almost a 22-year-old man and still a virgin. I feel strange knowing that I'm still a virgin at such an "old" age, especially knowing that so many other college students are out getting laid. I don't know if it's something I should cherish so much and let it go, especially because I am curious about losing it, but don't know if I'll end up regretting my choice not to wait until I have a boyfriend to give it to.

Has anyone else had this problem? I'm sure it's not that big of a deal, and it could just be my insecurity showing lol. What age did most of you guys lose your v-card? Did you end up regretting it?

Just looking for some advice. Thanks

I lost mine a lot younger then most of my friends and I definitely don't regret it. I love sex its such a fun part of life and its been such a big part of mine. I can't imagine a life without fucking, and I don't know why anyone would deny themselves that. Yeah I've had hookups that I regret sure who hasn't, but that such a small minority that it doesn't even matter. I think you need to lose it ASAP and you will see just how much you have been missing out on.

 

[Rooker]

Regret is a loaded word sometimes. When considering how our experiences contribute to our future, it’s tough to separate regret from learning experiences.

I have had a lot of partners, and lost my virginity way before I was emotionally ready. I had great experiences, but if I could be the same man I am now, but have only slept with my wife and be longer into our relationship, I would trade that. But I always chose long term relationships over short term, so that emotional side was very important to me.

Having sex doesn’t have to be a big deal, but it can be. So if you are hesitant because you want to wait for the right person, that’s fucking beautiful. I’d cherish that about yourself and wait.

 

[Hyelibido]

I was 23, she was 26 and divorced. I’d waited for the right person…not to mention I was an insecure and intimidated…and it was a huge relief.

Do I wish I’d started sooner? Yes, it that’s not the way it played out. Don’t let the stress of this get to you. Trust me!

 

[stevej6814]

The OP has gotten some good feedback but has acknowledged none of it. It makes one wonder if the request for advice was genuine.

 

[atomix_]

It makes one wonder if the request for advice was genuine.

No, it definitely was. This semester definitely has been kicking my ass, so I haven't had the time to login and see what everyone was responding. I can answer a few things now, if that helps!

It might be helpful to others if you stated your reasons for chastity.

I guess there isn't an exact reason as to why I've been chaste, but more so that it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind? I'm a pre-med student, so it kinda is always a mixture of school, volunteering, shadowing, working, and everything else that feels so overbearing haha.

Another part probably has to do with waiting for the right person. I was raised super religiously and was taught that sex before marriage was wrong, but also that being gay was even more sinful. It didn't make sense then, and TLDR, I'm not super religious anymore, but part of those teachings linger in the back of my mind. Probably because of my family, too, but that's a whole other can of worms that I don't wanna share rn.

I’m not even sure how you would define “losing your virginity “

This is also something I hadn't really thought about. It could just be my innocence, but I guess I had thought it was just penetration, but that also makes sense. I didn't realize there might have been other ways people viewed "losing virginity", so it's something I might need to more closely analyze. I've seen the sentiment shared across this thread, and I think there's a lot more introspective work I need to do about this all. I think I might have been overzealous and having some FOMO, but I'm glad that I still asked anyway. Kinda ties back into some family things, but I definitely do take other people's experiences into consideration, and I appreciate everyone's words and advice!

 

[8Cylinder]

I can really relate to what you said, atomix_. I was raised in an extreme right-wing religious environment. My first time ended up being really disappointing, in a bad situation, but being super horny I took it as my doing, not blaming others. The next was amazing, though my expectation was that we'd then be together, and that was quite abruptly illustrated to be a delusion.

Net conclusion: Don't wait, but don't rush it. You're probably not allowing yourself to fall into any situation where you could experience the sex you fantasize due to fear of disappointment. Balance that with what all here have suggested, and just let yourself into it with the person you feel natural with to do so. Regrets are temporary... don't be too afraid of that. Use your head of your dickhead, as most dicks lead us into compromising a little too much for our later comfort.

 

[bloodymarysmith]

No, it definitely was. This semester definitely has been kicking my ass, so I haven't had the time to login and see what everyone was responding. I can answer a few things now, if that helps!



I guess there isn't an exact reason as to why I've been chaste, but more so that it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind? I'm a pre-med student, so it kinda is always a mixture of school, volunteering, shadowing, working, and everything else that feels so overbearing haha.

Another part probably has to do with waiting for the right person. I was raised super religiously and was taught that sex before marriage was wrong, but also that being gay was even more sinful. It didn't make sense then, and TLDR, I'm not super religious anymore, but part of those teachings linger in the back of my mind. Probably because of my family, too, but that's a whole other can of worms that I don't wanna share rn.


This is also something I hadn't really thought about. It could just be my innocence, but I guess I had thought it was just penetration, but that also makes sense. I didn't realize there might have been other ways people viewed "losing virginity", so it's something I might need to more closely analyze. I've seen the sentiment shared across this thread, and I think there's a lot more introspective work I need to do about this all. I think I might have been overzealous and having some FOMO, but I'm glad that I still asked anyway. Kinda ties back into some family things, but I definitely do take other people's experiences into consideration, and I appreciate everyone's words and advice!

I grew up as a Mormon, so I understand where you're coming from. And as far as what losing your virginity means, for me there were a few different firsts.

My first roommate at BYU was my first time exploring another guy's body without trying to get too sexual about it. I had a mission companion that teased my hole and jerked my cock but didn't get off or try to get me off. That first was a random guy on Craigslist that let me jack him off. Another Craigslist guy was the first to suck my dick. Another roommate was the first dick I sucked. My first time penetrating and being penetrated was a guy I met from Grindr.

I don't know which one I consider losing my virginity. They all let me try something new, and each one of those times was special in a different way.

I guess it's just something to think about. And I'd definitely suggest taking things one step at a time. Don't go for penetration until you find someone you're comfortable with. And make sure you know you can say 'no', or 'stop', if you don't feel comfortable with what's happening. And make sure your partner will respect it if you do need to put a stop to anything.

Also, be prepared for it to be awkward. Everyone's first time is a little awkward, so don't feel bad about it. You'll get better and more comfortable with experience.

I hope it goes well!

 

[Fun4All]

Two great pieces of advice above...

Net conclusion: Don't wait, but don't rush it.

and

Also, be prepared for it to be awkward. Everyone's first time is a little awkward, so don't feel bad about it. You'll get better and more comfortable with experience.

I was not raised religious and it still seemed "wrong" despite the fact it felt right.

But be careful that in your mind you do not make it such a big deal that it can never live up to your expectations. Love and lust are two different worlds. It would be wonderful if you can get both at once but sometimes you have to be happy if you can even satisfy one of them.

 

[BigOrSmall69]

I’ve known a few guys still had their virginity at 24 and 27 .. the younger one had issues that when I came around and was openly gay toward him and apparently first gay friend he knew of and figured a gay person would be someone more likely someone to talk to without being judged..

He had watched a lot of porn and seen big cock a lot fucking pussy after pussy.. .. and we sat in my living room talking about women.. me being gay and all.. he mentioned my size and all and I told him I probably was one of those porn guys.. I didn’t know what to do but to show him..

He was like fuck man..

This made him even more nervous about our chatting . I said let me see you’re smaller and don’t think you’re big enough to please a woman. .. he stood up.. tried to get his belt unbuckled .. he had a stretch belt and had the access wrapped up around his belt and through loop.. I told him come here ..


I said I had done same thing few times then quit wearing them.. when I got the belt loose he said go ahead .. and I unbuttoned unzipped and slid his pants and underwear down to below his cock n balls he was rock hard .. I told him he had a nice cock .. told him if women didn’t want to suck it and let him fuck them with it he could fuck. Me anytime ..

More occurred but anyhow



He was letting his size keep him from being with a woman or with a man for that matter


And it’s true a lot of guys are nervous at first and when the two involved get into it and see both getting want want those nerves calm down..