Losing weight can be a curse......

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by froggy247, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    Hey all,

    I just recently lost 85 lbs. I am not braging, but nowI feel that I have an even worse body than before I lost the weight. Don't get me wrong, people tell me how good I look now as opposed to then and I know I still have work to do. Trust me, it has not been an easy road to get to where I am now.

    My reason for posting is to find out if anyone else on here has been in my position? And what did you do to make yourself see your body different than you used to. I would like to stop seeing my self as that 300+ plus guy; but the image is just not going away. And the damage that I did to my body from being that big is now making me feel worse than I did about myself in the begining.

    I know there is always surgery, but I was hoping to not have to result to that, and that only fixes the outside. I am also trying to fix the inside.

    I worked really hard on diet and excersice to get to where I am now. So suggestions for improving my outook on myself would be great.
     
  2. sjprep06

    sjprep06 New Member

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    When I lost 30 pounds before (trying to lose them and some right now) what helped me to realize how small I was just being able to do things I wasn't able to do before, i.e. bending over and tying my shoes, being able to squeeze in between people with room to spare, etc. Those little things helped me realize what I had just accomplished
     
  3. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Go clothes shopping! Hehe. Retail therapy is good for so many things. :smile: I know what you mean in a way, though. I lost a LOT of weight a few years back, but have since put it all back on. I remember, when I was skinnier, that I didn't really feel different. I mean... my clothes were smaller, my face was more slender, but I still didn't really see myself any differently. But I can tell you right now, that after having put all my weight back on, I wish like hell I could be back to where I was then. Looking back, I realize how much skinnier I was... and I used to complain that I was still fat! How sad... I'm working like hell (again) to try to get back to that point.
     
  4. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    Thank you for the ideas, I am sure it will take time to change my point of view of myself. I just hope it happens sooner than later. I am driving myself and my friends crazy with the "I am so fat thing" LOL!!!!
     
  5. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Just do NOT allow yourself to gain that weight back. lol. Once you do, you'll realize how skinny you actually were.
     
  6. reallyhot

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    A lot of people would find your position enviable, especially for those
    who can't lose the weight voluntarily...
    So be happy, feel good about it, and hey I'll bet your cock is now longer
    than it was now that the fat pad is smaller!
    Give yourself a break! Be proud of your accomplishment!!!:smile:
     
  7. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    I am going to try my best to keep it off. I have more to lose so maybe that will let keep that promise to myself...
     
  8. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Is this an issue about excess skin as a result of the weight loss or is it because of something else? I've never seen you before but you look good to me.
     
  9. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    This is about some extra skin, but mostly just a mental thing. I just wanted to see if anyone else felt this way and if they over came it or if it something is always going to be on my mind. I am pretty sure that it will always be in the back of my mind.
     
  10. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I used to work out a lot and it took a lot effort but it didn't make me feel any better about myself. Exercise helps you feel better but it won't miraculously fix other underlying issues.

    What are those issues and why do you think they arose?

    A few tucks here and there following large amounts of weight loss can help you a great deal with the outer issues. The inner ones will need other sorts of remedies.
     
  11. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    Well lets see, I guess it all goes back to "coming out" that is when I realized that I did not look good enough to find someone. That is pretty the whole reason I started to lose weight. I did so that someone would find me attractive enough to go out with. I guess becuase I have not found someone, that is the reason why I still feel the way I do.....WOW that is interesting.

    I have read posts on here where people ask for advice and really did not think I would get any responses but you all are make me make sense of the situation....and for that I thank you!!!!
     
  12. JumboCannon

    JumboCannon New Member

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    Hey froggy,

    Props for loosing the weight! That is a major accomplishment. I have been able to shed 40 over the past nine months, and I still have another 50 or so to go. I know what you mean about not seeing the change, even though I now fit into pants that I could not even pull on six months ago. The change is there, measurably, we just have a hard time getting the "fat goggles" off.

    As for the other issue, do not loose steam just because nothing has happened yet. First, pick yourself up - if you are down on yourself, then others will be too. Second, TMM had great advice - go buy yourself some new clothes. I have started dressing a lot nicer now that my belly has shrunk, and I feel like a fraction of a million dollars... we will see how I feel when the other 50 pounds comes off. Maybe I will reach $0.75 USD :wink: Third, SEE the new you. Ask friends or family to take pictures of you when you are not expecting it. You may be amazed at what you see.

    Good luck!
     
  13. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    Congrats to you as well Jumbo! It is good to hear that I am not the only one going through the "fat goggles" phase! I would like to lose another 50-60lbs as well! We will see how it goes!

    Thanks to all of you!
     
  14. Guy-jin

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    Great job losing all that weight! How'd you get it done? It's really an accomplishment you should be proud of, dude. :smile:
     
  15. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    Well I did a low-carb diet for part of it and worked out for some of it and then I got bored of that diet and I switched just this last month (OCT.) to Low-cal (Less then 1500 per day) and lost an additional 20 lbs as of this morning. Lots of water and a combo of the Biggest Loser Workout Vid and the Ab Lounge 2.

    But it did take a while to get it off, slow and steady, I started on 1-1-06 and I am still trying.....
     
  16. snoozan

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    I'm at about 70 pounds gone myself, and I understand exactly what you're talking about. Part of it for me are stretch marks and loose skin, as well as where I'm storing the last part of the fat on my body. I still have a lot of work to do inside and out, and I feel like in many ways it feels like the first time I've really looked in a mirror in 3 years.

    I'm right there. I am really not into getting surgery for the outside parts since my last operation put me in intensive are because my heart didn't respond well to anaesthesia. Of course, I also want to be able to wear a bikini at some point in my life, so I'm just trying to do the best that I can.

    Mentally, I don't know, it's a challenge. I'm not seeing "perfect" so I must still be fat. It feels like an all or nothing thing. For the most part people really think I look good now, and I find myself getting hit on a lot more than I have in a long time, which is odd.

    I'm thinking of one person in particular who, for some reason, still has this idea that I'm fat because I'm 160 pounds and not 120, and it makes me nuts. To a lot of people, I'll be fat even if I meet my goal weight which is 140, and that makes me insane. At 140, if I do it right, my body fat percentage is 22%, which is very healthy for a woman. I don't know. I need to learn to ignore that shit and be happy with what I've already done, which is a lot. I still feel dejected, though, so I get what you're saying.

    You just have to find it in you whatever way you can. I'm trying to do that myself. For me, shopping helps. I'm going to do a photo shoot when I get to where I want. I also think that therapy can really help in this situation because therapists are professionals at helping you fix the inside.

    One thing that makes me feel good is trying to concentrate on the things I can do now that I couldn't, feel how hard my muscles are, and otherwise really focus on the physical, tangible things. Eventually, focusing on the very concrete changes will help the mental changes and will help you accept your new self.

    I mean, look, as fat people we had a lot of internalized hatred. It's not hard to see why. Like most things, the mental damage stays much longer than the physical. If we don't combat that actively, we'll end up gaining the weight back, and the amount of work we've done to get where we are now makes that completely insane.
     
  17. froggy247

    froggy247 New Member

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    Congrats to you Snoozan! Keep up the good work! I think reaching you goal is a wonderful and joyful thing and the pride you are going to have is going to be unreal!

    I do feel you internalized hatred though!
     
  18. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I think what may help is what Snoozan said in another thread: As you get thinner people treat you better. It's a fact that here in the US at least, being fat is a reason for people to treat you like crap. I suspect women get the worst of it but I know I've had people treat me like crap just because they felt they could. It's sad but true; good looking people get treated better.
     
  19. pleasureboy

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    Hey man I can def feel ya. I was really fat at one time - well over 400lbs. I dropped down to 158lbs over the course of a year and a half, and it took me years to totally stabilize everything and to be happy with my body. I will tell you this, if you were fat for a long time and ended up with problem areas like love handles or extra skin -- have it taken care of.

    Seriously, don't wait. I waited about 8 years and only this past summer had lipo on my love handles and a tummy tuck to get rid of the non-elastic skin I had up front. Best thing I ever did. It really completed to process I had started a decade before. Mine's still healing and I have a pretty noticeable scar (which is supposed to mostly go away) but it really was the final thing I had to do to get on with it and leave fat me forever behind. good luck bro
     
  20. SpoiledPrincess

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    This may be rather naive but won't your skin tighten up after a while, it's been stretched for a number of years so it seems common sense that it might take a good time to get tighter.
     
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